To Help The Red Cross Click Here
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.

 
mother-in-law stories bd10358.gif
Back To Mother-In-Law Stories Home Page
Mother-In-Law Stories
September 4, 2004
mother-in-law stories bd10358.gif
 
AUGUST 2004
S
M
T
W
T
F
S
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
SEPTEMBER 2004
S
M
T
W
T
F
S
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Worst gift:  On Christmas morning, my DH and I, were opening gifts from our relatives.  Fortunately, my MIL lives 1001 miles away.  Anyway, my turn came to open up my gifts from her.  I was wondering how she could top last year's stupid gift of a self examination card from her gynecologist's office, but she did.  I was handed a small wad of a present.  I was thinking that it probably was a used handkerchief.  I wish.  It was a used pair of underwear.  I just stared in disbelief.  USED UNDERWEAR?  When my DH asked her about them, she said," Oh, I thought they were hers."  YEAH, RIGHT.  They were about 3 sizes too big.  They were from my DH's ex-girlfriend.  She knew it, and did it on purpose, because I told her that she couldn't come down for Christmas, because the last time she came, she not only invited herself, but then she stayed for three weeks.  That is another story.  Anyway, yes, I received my DH's ex-girlfriend's, big, crusty, panties.

        Signed - Big And Crusty

0
                                                        3 0
Strongly Agree 
                                                           
Somewhat Agree 
                                                           
Somewhat Disagree 
                                                           
Strongly Disagree 
                                                           
Please Seek Counseling 
                                                           
Continue on Message Board 
                                                           

Worst gift:  My DH visited his mom within the past year.  She sent him home with a popular "How to Diet" book for me.  Since the first time that I met her, she lectured me on exercise and dieting.  I was very trim when I met her, and had put on 25 lbs. within 4 years after meeting her.  Most of the weight was from muscle.  Needless to say, I donated the diet book to a coworker, who had wanted to buy it.

        Signed - Fatso

        Per the poster's request, no responses collected.

I feel so unwelcome in my MIL's home.  Whenever I come over and try to chat, she gets up and leaves in the middle of my sentence.  We were over the other day for brunch, and she was sitting next to me.  As soon as another spot opened up, she got up, took her stuff, and sat at a different table.  Could she be a little more obvious?

        Signed - Unwelcome

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
Respond in kind - ignore her as well whenever the opportunity arises.

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
So, don't go there.  If she has made it clear that she does not have the time of day for you, why bother with her?

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
And, WHY do you keep going over to your MIL's? She obviously doesn't want to have a relationship with you, so why bother?  Only go to your MIL's if your DH is going.  Don't engage in conversation with her.  Why put yourself through that?

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
She will continue to be obvious about it if you keep letting her get away with it.  She wants no contact with you or her son.  Stop going to her house or inviting her to yours.

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
What a b!tch.  My advice:  Just don't go there anymore!  Let your DH visit her if he wants to.  He doesn't have to drag you along in the process.  You're only going to get hurt, and obviously you're not going to get very far with this stubborn woman.  Other alternatives:  Tell your DH to talk to her about her behavior, or talk to her yourself (and actually follow her when she just leaves).  Maybe then she'll finally listen.  Good luck.

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
The answer is obvious - stop going over there.  Stop trying to chat with her, stop even recognizing her existence.  She's having fun hurting your feelings, and you're just going along with it.  STOP.  And, if your DH wants to know why you won't go over there anymore, tell him that she's made it clear that you're not welcome.

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
Treat her the same way that she treats you.  Do not sit near her, nor talk to her.  If you do have to sit next to her, angle yourself ever so slightly so that she sees nothing but your back.  No matter what she asks for or says, do not respond until she has repeated herself several times.  Then, look at her and ask her whether or not she is speaking to you.  When she gives you a reply, just turn your back on her again.  I've used this method before, and it works.  The person in question can't stand being treated in this method, and usually comes around.  If not, it's no big loss.  Good luck.

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
Where is your DH when all this happens?!  He should call his mother on this right away.  If it happens one more time, in a loud voice say, "Why don't you like me MIL?"  Then, refuse any more invitations to her house.  If your DH just sits there and let's this happen, you have far more issues with DH than your MIL.  Make sure to tell DH that he is never to leave you alone in her house, or anywhere, with her.  I am more mad at your DH than your MIL right now.  GRRRR!

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
If you can screw up the courage, why not take your MIL aside and tell her that you sometimes feel a bit unwanted when you're around her, and that this disappoints you, because you'd like the opportunity to form a nice relationship with her.  The worst thing that can happen is that she will dislike you for speaking up.  Unless you feel that that 's worse than being ignored and treated without much respect or consideration, you have little, if anything, to lose.  Maybe you can ask DH what he thinks about the situation first.  DON'T ask him to get involved, at least not right away, but DO ask him if he has noticed your MIL's behavior towards you and why he thinks it might be.  Maybe he'll have an insight that will help you build warmer relations between you and your MIL without your even having to talk to her.  It would be easy to just say, "Screw her," and believe me, I know how hard ILs can be.  But, it might be nicer if you can do something to improve the situation, even if it is her fault that it needs improving.  Best of luck.  Remember, with or without MIL's attentions, you are a rightful part of the family.  But, fortunately, you are married to DH and not MIL!

RESPONSE:  Unwelcome
It's hard to know how to respond without more background, but as a general rule there are two possibilities.  One is that there's something you've done to offend her.  If so, you need to find out what it is and make it right.  The other possibility is that she's just one of those impossible people whom you'll never please.  If that's the case, I strongly suggest that you stop trying to gain her approval.  Come to terms with the fact that you don't have the MIL-DIL relationship you want, and just leave her alone.  Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.


Note:
  To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.  Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of responses will be posted per day).
mother-in-law stories bd10358.gif

 


The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What


Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
Secret Paths
Women in the New Midlife


Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S


To See More Books By
Dr. Terri Apter
Click Here.


           Back To The Top - Click Here

Search this site or the web powered by FreeFind
    

Site search Web search


DISCLAIMER: 
All advice on this website is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  All responses are from reader submissions unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).  We do not endorse any of the advice.  We provide it to you as a service.  We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims as to the outcome of following this advice.  We provide it for your entertainment only.  Should you choose to follow any of the advice, it is solely at your own risk.  This is not intended to substitute for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.  We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.  B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.

Your privacy is important to us.  Click here to view our Privacy Policy.

Copyright © 1999 - 2010, B A Squared, LLC.  All rights reserved.  Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission of B A Squared, LLC is strictly prohibited.  All materials submitted (written or otherwise) to www.motherinlawstories.com become the property of B A Squared, LLC.  Submission of any material (written or otherwise) constitutes your permission for B A Squared, LLC to use, edit, reproduce and publish this material (in whole or in part) in any way it deems appropriate, and releases B A Squared, LLC from any and all liability associated with the publication of said material.

CONTACT US: To contact us for any reason, please use the email form on our Help Page which you can get to by clicking here, or email us at webmaster@motherinlawstories.com.