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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
September 7, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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I have had it with my MIL.
I was starting to think that things were turning around with the
whole family. We would go to family get togethers there
and I would be completely ignored. They would listen to
the GKs before me. I would be in mid-sentence and they would
stop me to listen what the darling princess would have to say.
I remember when we bought a rental property, MIL thought DW would
be doing all of the work, but so far DW has done very little because
I am the one who does it. I have taken that responsibility,
but has MIL ever admitted that she was wrong? When we just
started our own business, MIL was quick to point out some of my
other failures and job losses. She never offers constructive
criticism. But, today was the last straw. I am a member
of the local business networking chapter, which I have to be there
at 7am. She will not come over and let our daughter sleep
in. Her lame-brain excuse is that it would benefit me.
ME, ME. Never mind that it benefits our business (DW still
works in the city and commutes every day). I do my fatherly
duty and watch DD every day. And, all we asked was for her
to come here in the morning to watch GD sleep till I come back
into town. Well, my new rule, if MIL cannot help us out
once in a while, she will not get to see GD on her schedule.
I am still furious, and DW does not defend me. She sides
with MIL. I have had about enough. I understand, now,
why FIL left MIL 20 years ago. I wish that I could divorce
the MIL, too.
Signed - Super Irritated
With Stupid MIL, BIL, SIL and Respective Others
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1 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: My MIL and
FIL did not come to our wedding and did not get us a wedding present.
Furthermore, they did not want us to get married, and told us as
much. She never liked me and has never missed an opportunity to
tell me so!
Signed - No Wedding Gift
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- MyMILDramaQueen, 2 of 4 needed
/Posted: 7-SEP-04
I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with our second son,
and my DH had major back surgery. He was in the hospital for
6 days, and I was there whenever I could be. I was working
full time, and our 4 year old son was with my mom and dad in another
state. I was tired, and when we got home my DH could do nothing
without my help. He had to wear a brace even for sitting.
We had to get a hospital bed downstairs, because he could only do
stairs once a day. I was getting up in the middle of the night
to help him up and go to the restroom. The day after he got
home, my MIL said that she would bring some dinners over so that
I didn't have to cook. My dad was bringing our first son home
in two days, and my mom was sending some frozen homemade dinners
for the whole family. My MIL and FIL came over, and MIL had
two different dinners. She gave them to my DH and said, "Here,
these are for you." They were single servings, and just
enough for him, and not enough to share. I was so hurt.
Yes, he had back surgery, but I was pregnant and about to be working
full time and taking care of our 4 year old as well as my husband
24/7. I was working from home 1/2 day in order to get him
settled before going into the field. The least that she could
have done was to make one full dinner. Plus, there was never
an offer to watch our 4 year old for a couple of hours on a weekend
day so that I could get a nap.
Signed - Ignored
RESPONSE: Ignored
Presumably you have nothing more to do with your MIL now. You don't,
do you?
RESPONSE: Ignored
If the only thing that she could do to help out at a time like that
was bring two single serving meals, the only thing that you can
do is let her see the kids once a month.
RESPONSE: Ignored
I'd do unto MIL as she has done onto you - IGNORE her at holiday
time, and any time that she needs help. Let DH do it, if he is
so inclined.
RESPONSE: Ignored
Just remember: What goes around comes around. The day will come
when she'll need help. Remember then how helpful she is not being
now.
RESPONSE: Ignored
Now you know not to depend on your ILs. If I were you, because
of their lack on sensitivity, they would would have a very hard
time contacting me and seeing their grandson. If they ask, I would
say, "I'm sorry, I'm 5 months pregnant, taking care of a son
and DH, and I'm working full time. I do not have time
RESPONSE: Ignored
I know that DH could not get up and physically throw them out at
that point, but I take it that he asked them to leave, or that you
told them to take DH home with them. If not, at least tell us that
MIL ended up with the dinners on the front of her dress.
RESPONSE: Ignored
Maybe you could have grabbed another plate and split the meal with
your DH, while MIL was watching. It would've sent the message that
you're wise to her tricks, and you're not going to let her come
between you like that. Other than that, my advice is never to get
your hopes up where she's concerned. She'll only disappoint you,
and you don't need that. You just have to come to terms with the
fact that she's not the woman that she should be, minimize contact
with her, and get on with your own life.
RESPONSE: Ignored
Couldn't your insurance have paid for a part-time nurse or care
giver. Why didn't your church step in and help? Also, why didn't
you and DH tell MIL what you needed? She is not a mind reader.
I don't know your MIL, but she may have been waiting for someone
to invite her to help. Otherwise, she may have felt as if she was
being too intrusive. I'm glad that your parents were able to give
you some support.
RESPONSE: Ignored
Your MIL was brain dead about bringing over the single serving dinners.
That was a direct slap at your face, and I would take it as such.
Make sure that you are not available to help her if FIL gets sick.
Help FIL, but ignore her. However, I don't agree about her watching
the 4 year old. If you need a sitter, you can usually find a place
that does daycare on weekends, or find yourself a sitter whom you
can pay. Your kids are your own, and no one is ever required to
watch them. No matter how nice a gesture you think it would have
been, it is wrong to resent people for not offering to watch them.
RESPONSE: Ignored
It's pretty inconsiderate of your MIL not to have made food for
the entire family, and for not offering to watch your kid, but you
have to remember that some people are just less socially aware than
others. Instead of expecting her to do something, maybe you could
have just asked her to help you do more. You also have to realize
that you are expecting more of your MIL than of your FIL. Why aren't
you mad at HIM for not doing anything? I think that you are being
harsher on your MIL than she deserves, and you are stereotyping
by saying that it is the mother's job to do household chores (which
is understandable, of course, if your FIL still works). Good luck
with your ILs, your DH, children, and job.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives