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Mother-In-Law Stories
September 10, 2004
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frequent fry her - 20YRhitch, 1 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - 20YRhitch, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 10-SEP-04
I married DH in 1985.  I don't know where he got his good sense from.  It's not from MIL or FIL.  It must have skipped a generation.  At that time, MIL was divorced from FIL, and he was remarried to someone (totally) unacceptable to the family.  AH, the family - apples don't fall far from the parental tree, so maybe my DH is from another orchard.  Anyway, a week after we eloped, MIL sent DH a ticket to go to Thanksgiving dinner at her house.  1 ticket.  DH went, but he came home days early.  She drives him crazy.  We had baby later the next year.  MIL came to visit.  She wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to be called "grandma".  MIL's sister clued us in that MIL didn't give "us" 5 years afterward.  It is now almost 20.  So, when we got out of the military (which DH WAS NOT supposed to join), we came back to the midwest.  SMIL (FIL's wife) died after a couple of years, and MIL remarried FIL 3 months later.  Big wedding, orient express honeymoon, and all that life insurance money down the hole.  MIL sold her paid off home, and bought a more expensive home.  Then, she lost her job ($$$$$).  She then moved to another state, where she was making $$$$ before, to live with old friends (who ignored us at the $$ wedding).  Good thing we had cushion!!!!

        Signed - 20YRhitch

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Hang in there!  My MIL has left her DH in another country, and she has relocated here!  She has 5 sons, and guess what?  My DH is her favorite.  She has 4 other children here, but she won't stay with them.  She does not ask my permission when she visits, and she visits for 6 months at a time.  It's so bad that I can't even take a vacation.  I'm thinking of divorce!

        Signed - Hang In There!

        Per the poster's request, no responses collected.

My DH and I have been having problems, and he has been staying at his mother's house.  My MIL called to tell me that they were getting a lawyer, and they would get joint custody of my children.  It really upset me, and my DH just said, "Don't get mad at me.  I didn't say it."  But, I feel that he should do something.  This is not the first time that she has done this.  She has called me before to say that she has already talked to her lawyer, and he was getting the divorce papers ready for me to sign.  It just hurts me so badly!!!  What should I do?

        Signed - I Didn't Say It

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Get a lawyer and a counselor.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Divorce mama's boy.  Why the he!! do you want this weenie?

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Seek an attorney's advice.  Don't give DH and MIL a chance to further rattle your cage.  He had to be venting about you when MIL made that phone call.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Be glad that you're getting divorced, so you don't have to associate with her anymore.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Why would you even give the bovine the time of day?  I wouldn't pick up the phone when she calls.  And, you should tell your so called DH to borrow a pair and stand up for you.  Oh, sorry.  His mother has them in her pocket.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Um, you need to get a lawyer.  She is NOT the mother of your children.  YOU are.  The custody is between YOU and DH, not MIL!  Since your soon to be ex doesn't have a spine or balls, serve him the papers before he serves you.  Go for the throat.  Make sure that you get a nice fat alimony and child support check.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Retain a lawyer of your own to protect you if she does file.  Collect any documentation that you can of her harassing you - inappropriate behaviors on either of their parts, and so on.  While a divorce may not happen, with DH living with MIL, he will probably become more influenced by her.  So, it's better to protect yourself.  The next time she calls, just say, in a sweet voice, "Thank you for letting me know your intentions.  I'll be sure to pass the information on to my lawyer."  It may fluster her that you actually have a lawyer and are no longer terrified by her threats.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Tell MIL to BUTT OUT.  And tell DH that if he wants to get a divorce, then HE needs to tell you, and HE needs to get the papers set up.  You are not required to sign anything that MIL or DH hands you.  I suggest getting your own lawyer so that you are not railroaded into doing something that you don't want to do.  Get some counseling, too.  See if DH will go with you.  His mom is poisoning his mind.  You two need to get away from her for a while so that you can talk openly and honestly with each other.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
Wow.  Big problem.  I think that you should talk to your DH - ALONE - and tell him how you feel about your MIL.  Maybe, if you're both not caught up too much in a fight, and can talk rationally, you can agree with him that he will not go to her the next time you have a fight, because she gets involved too much.  I mean, she's acting like she's part of your relationship!  Maybe he can go to a sibling, or a friend's house instead.  Of course, it would be best if you could avoid fights at all costs by keeping calm and rational about it.  If worse comes to worse, you or he could always sleep on the couch.  Don't get others involved in this - this is between the two of YOU, and no one else.  Make that clear to your MIL, either through him or, even better, by confronting her yourself.

RESPONSE:  I Didn't Say It
You say "Good-bye".  Regardless of whether he made the threats, he is in tacit agreement with her because he didn't confront her over it.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who goes home to mommy and lets her threaten the mother of his kids?  I would immediately contact a lawyer and file separation papers with very specific visitation instructions - no overnight visitation and a few hours on Saturday to be spent in a public area.  And, make sure that she is not included.  Keep a log of every communication that you get from her, and tell her that you are going to be recording all phone calls, then do it!  Pick up the other phone and monitor any phone time between the kids and their dad.  This way, you can hear what is being said.  And, you can hear whether she gets on the phone with them as well.  Also, for your own protection (in case she tries to go that route), start documenting any little bruise and scrape that they might get - date, time, how it happened.  You don't want to deal with abuse allegations on their part, either!


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