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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
September 14, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- 20YRhitch, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 14-SEP-04
A little story about SIL. She is the mess
up, all families have them. When she was married, she cheated
with her very old landlord and conceived a little girl.
MIL thinks that the sun rises and sets on her daughter, after
all, they wore mother/daughter dresses together. SIL was
really just trying to sweeten her $$$ with the landlord.
He had much more $$$ than SIL's 1st DH (poor guy). DH called
the landlord a controller, master manipulator (the guy worked
on the barter system - I do this for you, now you owe me for life
system). DH and I decided never to say anything to him.
Well, we were not invited to the wedding of SIL and the landlord.
MIL thought that that was just fine, for the new DH could take
care of SIL with $$$, and then MIL and FIL wouldn't have to.
Well, DH2 died 6 months later, and DH and I had to got to the
funeral. We were invited to that, and the family was acting
like a family again, until I told her where to put it.
Signed - 20 YEAR Hitch
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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This one is about my
FIL. This past weekend we attended my DH's grandfather's funeral
service (on his mother's side). FIL offered to drive us to the
service, which was fine ($30 in gas and we are on a budget right
now). He showed up late, and then would not pass anyone on the
freeway, even though we were late. The other cars on the freeway
were all going under the speed limit, and it was safe. On the way
back home he said, "I told you guys that those things never
go on time." I finally let it out, "They waited for us,
that's the only reason why it didn't start on time." So, not
only did the family have to go through this tragedy, but FIL made
them all think that we had gotten in a crash. To top it ALL off,
on the way home he told me that he was mad at grandpa for dying
on his wedding day. Get over it. How about uncle, who left his
father's death bed to stand up at your wedding?!!!!
Signed - Sometimes It's
Just Toooooo Much
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My MIL just divorced
my FIL, and because my DH and I don't agree that she is the innocent
victim, she is angry with us and has told my DH that she needs time
and space away from him. Here's the problem: I have
a four month old daughter "X" and the MIL still wants
to be able to see X at her convenience. I don't want to be
in the room alone with the MIL because she lies to us and about
us. For example: When speaking of how well my DH and
I were doing with a house and a new baby, she told my SIL, "Oh,
please. I still support them." SIL took that to
mean financially, and when we confronted the MIL about her comment,
she claimed that she didn't mean it that way. She meant that
she supports us emotionally. However, SIL said that it was
most definitely meant financially. Then, MIL called my SIL
and asked her how dare she tell us that she had said that, and that
we must really be in bad financial shape if we were offended by
what she said. The MIL claimed that we are using X as a pawn
if we don't let her see her. I feel that if the MIL isn't
seeing her own son, she doesn't need to see anyone in this family.
I don't trust her. Who knows what kind of lies may be told
if I allowed her to see X with just myself in the room. This
is just one of the many problems that we face with her. Truthfully,
I would be happy if I never saw her or talked to her again.
But, that's not fair to ask of my DH. What do I do?
She didn't take a single interest in my entire pregnancy, and was
quite upset, yelling, "No, no, no, I don't want to be a grandmother,"
when we told her that I was pregnant. Why, now, is it so important
to see her grandchild when she won't even see or fix things with
her son?
Signed - Wanting to Escape,
But Feeling Stuck
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
I agree with you. Don't let her see X if she refuses to see your
DH. You are a family!
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
I agree with you. Why would she want to see her GD if she wants
nothing to do with GD's daddy? You have the right to limit or eliminate
your contact with whomever you feel may be harmful to you, your
DD, or your DH.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
She can't manipulate DH, but she can try to do so with DD. Cut
her off, especially from your child. If she isn't seeing DH right
now, why worry about it? Take the opportunity to enjoy life without
her.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
Do not leave that liar with your child. She'll probably start telling
your child lies about you once your child is able to comprehend.
Distance yourself from her. If your DH still wants to see her,
that is his decision.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
Why is it so important? Because, now that she's alienated both
of you, she can again claim to be the innocent victim when she's
not allowed to see your daughter "without any good reason".
If she's "supporting you guys financially" and you treat
her this way, she can be quite the martyr!
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
It would be wrong to totally isolate your MIL from your child.
Make it just a special occasion (holiday) thing. She has no reason
to see the child on a constant and continuous basis. Tell her that
you feel it is better that you space yourselves apart for now, and
that she can still see the grandchild, but it will be at time that
you agree to.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
Don't see her. And, don't let her see X. She is not entitled to
a relationship with her grandchildren if she can't maintain a relationship
with her child.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
PLEASE do not allow this woman to be left alone with your child.
My MIL looked after my DD while I was at work and DH was at college.
Then, she did it again when he started work, as we couldn't afford
childcare, and she was desperate to spend time with her GD. It
was years before I found out that the reason my DD didn't take much
notice of me, and played me up a lot of the time, was because of
the lies MIL told about me (not because I was a bad mother, as I
thought), and it's taken a long time to try to put our relationship
back to a "normal" mother/daughter relationship. I stopped
it when I did find out, and didn't make the same mistake with my
DS.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
I think that you'd have a lot fewer problems if YOU kept away from
your MIL, and didn't associate with her or speak to her. If DH
wants to go and see his mum on his own, that's fine, but you really
need to focus on your daughter, and not on all this "he said,
she said" stuff. You are quite right in being annoyed that
MIL wants to see X at her convenience, even though she'd said that
she didn't want to be a grandmother. I think that you should take
her at her word, and keep yourself and X away from her.
RESPONSE: Wanting to Escape, But Feeling Stuck
First of all, if you haven't done so already, you need to tell your
DH how you feel about his mother, so that at least he understands
your position. At the moment, your MIL is probably going through
a hard time because of the divorce, and, being as proud as I am,
I know what it feels like to be told that you're wrong when you
think that you're so right. MIL probably has a whole lot of pride,
and couldn't stand the fact that she didn't get your DH's support.
You didn't mention exactly what had happened between MIL and FIL,
or what she was playing the victim of, but maybe she needs a little
time with her son, even if she tries to show that she doesn't care.
On your side, however, I think it quite horrible that SHE didn't
support YOU when you became pregnant. Maybe this woman doesn't
really want to see her grandchild, but she wants to just be in the
house as an attempt to lure her son to her. If I were you, I wouldn't
let her, as she needs to realize that she has to grow up and that
she can't use your child or you, for that matter, as pawns in her
stupid game. If she needs help, then she should ask for it, directly.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives