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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
September 28, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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My situation with FMIL is such
that if I told any one of my stories, no one would believe it.
She acts normal around others, but I can see right through her.
I'll tell you one of many. She bought a new car, because
the old one was going to die any day. She offered my DF
the old one, and he took it, because we have no car, and we really
needed it because of where we lived. Everything was fine,
until one weekend when my DF went upstate to visit a friend.
I had the car, so I decided to go shopping, get lunch, and go
home. I parked in an illegal parking spot because I thought
I'd only be a second. Little did I know that there was a
tow truck looking for his next victim. When I came out,
literally 2 minutes later, the car was being towed. I ran
after the guy, pleading and crying to please give it back, but
to no avail. I just stood in the middle of the sidewalk
crying my eyes out, scared and alone. I was much more vulnerable
because I moved 800 miles away from anyone I knew. I had
not a friend in the world there, but my DF. I called him
upstate and he said that he'd call his mom because he hadn't gotten
a chance to change the title of the car to his name. I walked
to a precinct a few blocks away, and got a call from my DF that
they were going to pick me up from there and take me home.
The tow company was closed for the day, but they'd pick me up
the next morning to go get it. FIL came to pick me up from
the precinct almost an hour later, and MIL was not with him.
It was a clear sign of what I was not expecting to come.
The next morning, they picked me up to get the car. When
we were almost there, MIL said that she was taking the car back
until my DF could change the title to his name. I was shocked
and hurt, because I couldn't believe that she was taking the car
back and trying to punish me, an adult. She kept explaining
that she didn't want an accident to happen, and she didn't want
to have to pay for all of those damages. But, she never
worried about anything before because, clearly, she didn't expect
me to be using it. I knew that she was lying, and that she
was just mad when she found out that I was driving it. She
thought that, because she gave it to her son, only he was going
to drive it. FIL said that she didn't even know that I had
a license. He, on the other hand, was not mad at all, and
likes me as a person. So, we got to the towing company,
and I had to pay out of my pocket so that she could take the car.
We got the car, and she insisted that I drive to my house, with
her in the passenger seat, so that I could get out, once at my
house, and then she'd take it from there. While I was driving,
my DF called and starting talking about his night at the friend's
house. I was driving, and I told him that I'd call him back.
I happened to mention that his mom was there. He asked to
speak to her. I handed her the phone, and he apparently
started asking why she was taking the car away from me.
She gave him the same bullsh!t story, and he said that he's gotten
tickets before in her car and she never did anything, but she
just stuck to her story. She knew that he was coming back
the next morning, and she told him that she and the whole family
would go and pick him up. Mind you, she had already tried
to give me the same story, and I told her no. The point
of me going alone was to drive the car to pick him up by myself,
and to then go to her house for dinner. If I didn't have
the car, there was no point of dragging the whole family with
me. I'd go alone on the train. She insisted, but I
said no. When I handed her the phone, she asked DH.
I was so insulted, because she acted like the child who asks the
other parent after getting a no from the first one. She
proved that she had no respect for me as a person, an adult, or
as her son's FDW. When she dropped me off, she gave me,
once again, the bullsh!t story about why she was taking the car.
Not wanting to hear it, I said my good-byes and left. When
I walked into the house, I immediately phoned my DF and told him
that I knew that she was lying, and that she was just trying to
manipulate me and punish me like a child. Months later,
she proved me right. She lets him drive her new car with
no problem. WHAT A B!TCH! She doesn't fool me.
I always say that it's better to see the devil coming than to
ignore the warnings and go to he!!.
Signed - I'm the Queen
Bee!
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My MIL is, shall we say,
a bit prejudiced. I'm in my early 20's. DH was my high school
sweetheart, and I love him dearly. FIL is a terrific guy, but MIL
- *shudders*. Since we began dating, she's always made it plain
that I'm not good for her son (because of my race). She constantly
makes some very unpleasant comments about my skin tone. Okay, I
can't help it, it's the way I was made. She makes fun of my clothes
and my body type. She and her friends mock me when I'm not around!
Whenever I've mentioned it to DH, he says, "Oh, don't worry
about it, she likes you." Sometimes men are out of it. She
looks down on anyone with my skin tone, judging them based on color/race.
She's hinted that she thinks that DH should be with a someone closer
to his ethnic background, although she can see that I love him and
treat him well. It bothers me, because I'm not that kind of person.
I would never be unkind to a person because of their natural characteristics.
I'm aware of differences, but I respect people for WHO THEY ARE.
That's just the way I was brought up. I've lived, played, and worked
with different kinds of people all my life. If I dislike somebody,
it's not because of their color. It's because of their attitude.
Signed - Respect
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My story is your typical
story. I have a great relationship with my MIL and FIL.
However, the BIL and SIL have grown increasingly distant from the
family. They are willing to celebrate the IL's birthdays.
However, when it comes to my family's birthdays, the only ones that
have been recognized, for the past two years, have been those of
our children. More than likely, it is because they were invited
to the kids' birthday parties. I have insisted to DW that
I refuse to give anymore and then be ignored in return. When
the BIL's birthday came up, nothing was given. And, when the
SIL's birthday came up, there was a present given. It was
then thrown at us that his feelings were hurt, and the reason that
they forgot ours is because they didn't know when my wife's was.
Now, again, both of our birthdays are forgotten, and we expect to
receive an invitation to celebrate theirs, so what do we say?
Do we worry about tact? Or do we just tell them exactly how
we feel? "We are forgetting about your birthday, like
you forgot about ours!" It is one thing not to know the
birthday of the spouse who married into the family (at least at
first), but to forget your sibling's birthday just doesn't sit right
- at least with me.
Signed - Ruffled Feathers,
or Just Expecting Too Much?
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
I'm confused trying to keep track of who remembered whose birthday.
Why don't you all act like adults and agree to simply celebrate
the children's birthdays?
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
In our family, we only give gifts to kids. Grown-up siblings don't
exchange Christmas or birthday gifts because we can buy whatever
we really want for ourselves. Why not just suggest to BIL and SIL
that from now on you do the same? That would save both trouble
and feelings.
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
To solve the remembering birthday issue in my family, I bought everyone
calendars, and in bright red ink I penned in everyone's birthday.
And, I mean everyone. All brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, until
there was no one left. Instead of Christmas cards, I would give
the calendars to everyone. People like the calendars, and no one's
birthday is forgotten. Also, I would write down the upcoming age
for anyone under 18. That way, if someone wanted to buy the birthday
person a present, they could get something age appropriate.
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
I have been with DH for 8 years, and for 8 years I have sent Christmas
gifts to BIL (DH's brother), SIL and their 3 kids. We have no children.
Sometimes we get birthday gifts from them, but most often we don't.
One year, they even skipped Christmas. My birthday is the same
as my niece's, and my DH is 2 days after my SIL, so it is not like
they can forget when they are. I keep buying them gifts, because,
despite the fact that they are horrible at reciprocating, I like
them, and I want to acknowledge them on their special day. That
is why you give a gift. So you have to decide whether they are
worth giving a gift to based on who they are, and not what they
give to you.
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
My solution would be to not acknowledge EITHER of their birthdays.
IF it's mentioned, you should respond that you thought (because
they didn't acknowledge yours or DW's) you all weren't "doing"
birthdays, except for the kids. Other than that, you need to do
a little growing up.
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
I think that you are expecting too much. My siblings love me and
DH dearly, but they hardly ever remember a birthday. If it means
that much to you, make a nice calendar with EVERYONE's birthdays
on it, and give it to the entire faaaaaamily at Christmas. That
way they'll have no excuse.
RESPONSE: Ruffled Feathers, or Just Expecting Too Much?
Some people just recognize the birthdays of the kids of the family.
Celebrating EVERYONE'S birthday may be a hassle, especially if the
family is very large. Is your wife upset about it also? Have her
siblings always remembered her birthday? Maybe they just don't
"do" birthdays and don't realize that it's bothering you.
Speak up and find out what's up before you label them as cold.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives