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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
October 8, 2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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Here is a story about my FMIL.
My BF and I have been dating for almost three years, and we visit
his family all the time. We have always gotten along and
enjoyed each other's company. I even go to a Mass with them
on Sunday, at their church. My BF asked me to marry me him,
ring and all. And, of course, I said yes. When we
called home to tell his parents, they said, "Wow."
Then, to make things worse, my FMIL called me four days later
to ask what I have against their church. She wanted to know
why I was getting married in my church (Methodist) and not their
church (Catholic), and then she told me that she hopes I will
respect their religion and have a priest do most of the ceremony
in my church. And, by the way, there was no welcome to the
family from her!
Signed - Sad Girl In
The Midwest
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My MIL is awful. Last
summer, when my DS was only a little under 2 months old, DH and
I traveled 10 hours to go visit his family in the Midwest so that
they could see the baby, and also so that we could attend DH's brother's
wedding. Needless to say, this trip was extremely stressful to
make with a small infant. I had heard lots of stories from DH on
how MIL had been a terrible parent, etc., but she went beyond my
expectations. First of all, she had ZERO interest in our son, who
is, by the way, beautiful. This was her first time seeing him,
ever, and she did not pay him any attention. During the day, while
I was stuck at the house with her, she did not act interested at
all. But, when my DH would come home, she would pretend to fawn
over my baby. I had to actually ASK her to please hold the baby
so that I could shower. You can TELL if someone likes a baby or
not. DH had other family members who would come over and just go
nuts over the baby. They would beg to hold him and say how cute
he was, but MIL could not have cared less. It really hurt my feelings.
See if I ever make that trip again. More to come on how crazy she
is.
Signed - Hurt
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My MIL has 3 grandchildren,
2 of which are mine. The other one belongs to my DH's brother.
My MIL has nothing to do with my 2. She takes the other one
everywhere, and buys her everything. For example: 2 years
ago, for Christmas, my 2 kids had to watch while the other grandchild
got a 4 wheeler, and they got little gifts. We ran into them
at the fairs, the golf courses, everywhere. She never asked
my 2 kids to do anything with her. My DH's brother just got
married, and his new wife has two kids; a boy and a girl.
My MIL took his DD and SDD on a beach vacation, and never asked
my 2 kids to go. This is causing a lot of problems in my marriage.
If I say something, my DH gets mad at me. But, I don't think
that it's fair to my children. Please respond and tell me
what should I do.
Signed - I Need Help
RESPONSE: I Need Help
Your DH gets mad at YOU? What does he say when his kids are passed
over and ignored? Does he think this is OK? Does he think that
there is something wrong with his own children? He needs a good
clonk round the head with a clue-by-four. As for your children
having to watch while their cousins get sumptuous toys, NO THEY
DON'T. You don't have to spend any time with the ILs at all. It
can be very damaging to children's self-esteem to be continually
ignored while other children are pampered. So, for your children's
sake, don't take them to the ILs any more.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
I think that the crux of your problem is expressed in your sentence,
"If I say something, my DH gets mad at me." Do you not
have the right to express an opinion in your own home and to your
own husband? This has me worried.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
I am assuming that your 2 children are yours and DH's. Ask DH why
it is OK with him that his mother ignores his two children. Then,
point out that it's not about sparing his mommy's feelings, but
about your children's self esteem. Explain that if she wants to
treat the other kids better, she needs to do it when your kids are
not there
RESPONSE: I Need Help
Boy, your DH is so used to it that he's blind to the inequality
MIL shows your kids! Cut her off, pure and simple. Don't let her
see the kids, especially if she can't treat them the same as the
others. As for DH, if he doesn't like it, have him sit down with
the kids and ask THEM, himself, what they think of this situation.
I'm sure that they've noticed it by now.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
Stop worrying about what the other GK's get. You have no control
over what GM does, so don't even try to make her buy fairly. What
she does with her GK's is MIL choice. Simply refuse to visit during
times that the other GKs will be around. Tell your DH and MIL that
you will not allow your children to be treated unfairly. Make sure
that you do NOT discuss any of this in front of your children.
Kids don't care, if they aren't exposed to it. They will not miss
what they never had. Just don't let the other GKs tell yours things
like, "LOOK what GM got me!"
RESPONSE: I Need Help
Never take your kids to see this witch again. How can your DH stand
by and let her hurt his children like that? If he won't stand up
to his cr@ppy mother for his own kids, then he has nothing to say
about it. It is up to you to protect them from her. Do it now!
RESPONSE: I Need Help
I had a set of GPs like this, and it's really not your DH's fault.
There is not much that he can do about it either. In the end, it's
HER loss.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
Let it go. This is not your problem. Give your kids a loving home
and make sure that they want for nothing. Don't point out to your
kids or DH that MIL does nothing with your kids. That is just starting
a feud where no one will win, and your kids will be hurt the most.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
You're totally right, it's not fair. BUT, now that you know how
she feels, do you really want her spending a bunch of time around
your kids? You'll spend a fortune in therapy to undo her damage.
Try and make your kids understand that the problem is your MIL,
not them.
RESPONSE: I Need Help
If you said something, do you think that your MIL would listen?
If you really believe that she'd be willing to repent and change,
then by all means talk to her. But, you probably know, deep down,
that it wouldn't really help. Try to find things that you can do
with your own kids where you're less likely to run into MIL, even
if you have to start looking for events and activities outside of
your own town. Skip the family gatherings, if you can, especially
if gift giving is involved. In fact, get your kids involved in
activities where the focus is on giving instead of getting (such
as scouting or visiting nursing homes). I just wouldn't let my
kids spend time around people who try to make them feel like they're
only second best.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives