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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
October 14, 2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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Check this one out! Mind
you, this is the same woman who, on one particular Valentine's
Day, sent exactly 4 cards (one to my DH with little puppy dogs
on it, and one to each of my 3 children) and had the audacity
to say that it "hurt" me because I was so insecure.
Also, she took a beautiful collage that I had made for her of
the kids and changed it to include her, my FIL, my three kids,
and my DH - basically "the family", according to her!
Fairly recently, she went into one of my DD's closets and took
it upon herself to take home a dress to "fix" it, without
asking or anything. I very calmly told my DH to please tell
her that the next time she should just ask first. He agreed
completely with me, and proceeded to call her and nicely request
this. Typically, he was "summoned" by his father
to come over, and was given a typed letter from his dad requesting
that he not "bother mum" with these problems.
Yes, I understand that they are going through some major illness
stresses, but that doesn't excuse her here. Any time that
she crosses the line, which is often, he comes to her rescue and
corrects us. And, then we are told what to do or what not
to do. This is crazy! My DH and I are 40 and 43 years
old, with 3 beautiful children, and I'm tired of being treated
like this. On the night of our engagement, I'll never forget
when she turned to me and said, "Now you've got what you
wanted." We had had our lovely DD before getting married,
but, this was plain old cruel, I think. I've tried so hard
to get over these things. I tried counseling with them,
etc., but it's a lost cause. The funny thing is that all
of my friends think that I'm a very nice girl. Yet, the
ILs seem to think that I'm the big bad b!tch who came along and
"stole" their perfect son away. I cannot stand
their overbearing habits any longer.
Signed - J in the Northeast
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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I'm the one whose MIL
burnt up the marriage license at the reception. I had forgotten
about the "family picture" part of the ceremony until
I read something that was just posted. My MIL was a professional
wedding planner for close to 30 years. She was not asked, nor did
she offer, a single bit of help or advice for her own son's wedding
(well, at least the son whom I married). The other two son's weddings
were paid for and thoroughly planned by her. Since I was trying
to be as traditional as possible, I had the photographer take all
the men's pictures before the ceremony, as well as DH's side of
the family with just him. MIL/FIL/SIL/DH and the photographer (my
best friend) were all told that DH's family was to stick around
after the ceremony for "family pictures with me, the BRIDE".
Once the ceremony was performed, the picture taking started. Because
of all the excitement and the chill in the air (outdoor wedding),
I didn't realize until the very end that DH's family was nowhere
around. I asked DH where his family was, and he said, "My
mom came up to me right after the receiving line and said that they
were leaving, that they were done." "Um, ok. What about
pictures with you, your family and your new wife?", I asked.
He couldn't respond, since he didn't know. So, we just finished
up and headed over to the reception. Once dinner was started and
we had our food, my DH went and spoke with his mom and dad regarding
the family pictures with me. MIL told DH that she didn't want to
be in a single picture with her new DIL, since she would never consider
me family, and she had already stood up long enough for "HER
family" pictures. DH was hurt, but too happy to let her have
the power. I did get my own sweet justice, however. Since it was
a friend of mine who did the pictures, and we were on a budget,
we just took our film to a discount store for developing. While
MIL was dead set on not being in a single picture with me, she was
dead set on getting a copy of herself with my DH. I okayed this
with DH, and refused to give her a single copy of any wedding photos.
She never asked me where the pictures are. About a month after
the wedding, she did ask where the pictures of her family were.
DH responded by saying, "Well, since you didn't feel the need
to stay and do pictures with DW and I, we didn't feel the need to
spend any of our money on pictures of you and me. If you'd like,
you can go through the album that DW has put together and pick out
the ones that you want, and pay for the reprints yourself. Thanks,
mom, for making this such a memorable occasion. There is not one
single picture of the two most important women in my life. You've
done a fantastic job of making me feel special." And, with
that, the conversation ended, and MIL never asked to see the wedding
photos. I love the idea that DH has a backbone and stands up to
his mom. I also have a backbone and speak my mind very clearly
to her, which is probably the main reason why she's decided that
I'm the spawn of the devil (her words to DH in a fight about me).
But, at least she knows that she can't get away with any of her
games with me. For that, I'm thankful. And, for the distance that
we've put between us, 1800 miles, I'm thankful, too. The only thing
that I'm somewhat sorry for is that my DH doesn't have the relationship
with his mom that he always had. They were best friends, until
I came along. Oh well, life goes on, and I'm - - -
Signed - STILL Married
to MIL's Son
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Worst gift: For our
first Christmas together, my MIL came to my DH's house for dinner.
She gave him some cash, but also some ugly weird vases that she
had wrapped up in comic book paper. He asked where she had
gotten them, and she replied, "I found them in the basement!"
I felt awful for him, until I unwrapped mine, that is. She
actually gave me trash. It was perfume (a scent from the 70's),
and the cardboard box looked worn. Then, I noticed that it
wasn't even shrink wrapped. It was used. I looked up
at her and said, "Oh, wow. Thank you so much."
Then, it got weird. She told me, "Well, I hope you like
it. It's what I wear, so if you like it, great and if not,
that's fine too." To make matters worse . . .
Signed - She Actually
Has A Lot Of Money
RESPONSE: She Actually Has A Lot Of Money
Please tell me that you gave it back to her the following year.
RESPONSE: She Actually Has A Lot Of Money
You should have your DH tell her that if she can't stop being equal
to both of your children, she shouldn't come around anymore. From
what you say in your story, it doesn't sound like he is being very
supportive. HE needs to make her understand that this behavior
is not acceptable, and he should let her know that in his opinion
the children belong to both of you, and it hurts him to see them
being treated this way.
RESPONSE: She Actually Has A Lot Of Money
Taking your mail and keeping it is theft of mail, and it's a federal
offense. Time to grow a spine and hit the old girl where it hurts.
Call the cops about the mail. Entering your home without permission
is called breaking and entering. Have the proper authorities deal
with it. Tell your twinless DH to grow a pair and put his foot
down. No one can take advantage of you unless you allow it. If
she is abusive to your children, kick her butt down the street.
It would be a cold day in he!! before I let some old dumb cow push
my children around.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives