|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
October 21, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
SEPTEMBER
2004
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OCTOBER
2004
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
I have one of those MILs who thinks
that she can control everyone. That was okay for the first
twenty-five years that I was her son-in-law. I was pretty
young twenty-five years ago, and my parents and GPs had taught
me to respect anyone who was older and wiser. I did as I
had been taught. As the years passed, I buried all of my
grandparents and all my step-grandparents. I still had my
parents, stepparents, and many aunts and uncles to respect.
Year after year I buried those whom I respected. I buried
those who had taught me to respect others, and they had respected
me. I went through terminal illnesses with many of them.
There were not too many accidents, just long illnesses and death.
I had to help them while they were ill, and then make funeral
arrangements. Three years ago, when I had been married for
twenty five years, my MIL insisted that I let her control me after
I had been through all of these life experiences. We haven't
spoken since that demand. This fall, I will be forty nine
years old, and I have buried almost all of my relatives who are
older than I am. I am the oldest male on the paternal side
of my family. I still have a MIL who believes that she can
control someone who has done all that he was supposed to do.
I have been the son, GS, nephew, brother, father, and a faithful
DH for twenty-eight years. My MIL from he!! thinks that
she can still control me. I was taught to respect people
who are older and wiser than I am. I have. I have
done as I was taught, to those who were older and wiser.
I have done all that I can do. I am afraid that kissing
someone's @ss was never what my parents or GPs trained me to do.
My teachers never said to kiss anyone's @Ss Our religion
does not tell us to do that either. The bible says to stay
away from people who are divisive. Do you guys agree?
Signed - Done As I
Was Taught
|
0
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
0 |
|
Strongly Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Please Seek Counseling
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Continue on Message
Board
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My FIL was driving down
the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's
car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five
miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought
I'd gone deaf!"
Signed - Ha!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
|
|
I have been married for
two and a half years, but I have known my DH for about 7 years now.
MIL and BIL stay with us. The story goes like this:
MIL has been very careless about money all of her life. She
literally blew every penny that she got after her DH expired.
BIL flunked quite a bit in school, and gave up his studies.
But, now he has gone back to school and is doing fine. We
have our own business, which is not doing very well, but we are
kind of ok. We are managing things. But, this lady is
completely thankless and uncultured. She will pick a fight
with everybody, and creates a sort of "ugliness" at home.
We are living in a rented apartment. I never say a word to
her, but a few days back I just couldn't take it any longer.
I said it all. She told my DH that she will commit suicide
or run away. BTW, she had a history of doing all of this to
her DH, who eventually took to drinking and died at 50. She
used terrible language, and blackmails my DH emotionally.
Now she is going out to stay with her sister, and she told DH that
she will not be coming back. He is in tears (I am shocked
at his crying for her). I want to move out, too. I don't
know what to do. Is it right to continue like this?
I mean, her behavior is terrible. Please help
Signed - Her Behavior
Is Terrible
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
Her behavior may be terrible, but your DH's is worse. Come over
to the message boards.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
Her behavior is terrible, and so is your DH's. Tell him that if
she moves back, you will move out.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
She's moving out? Great. Help her pack, and change the locks.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
You and your DH need to go to counseling. You need to know how
to deal with her. Someone who threatens suicide to get their own
way is one sick person.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
If MIL is out and stays out, why move? DH cries because it's his
mommy, and her emotional blackmail is what is known as *normal*.
Stay and point out how peaceful it is with his mom gone.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
DH needs counseling. MIL has threatened and bullied people all
her life, and someone finally said no to her tactics. Don't let
DH guilt you into apologizing for standing up for yourself. If
he can't deal with it, perhaps he should follow mommie to his aunt's.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
MIL is using emotional blackmail of the nastiest kind in threatening
suicide. You and DH should not be supporting MIL and BIL, even
if they are hopeless with money, and especially not if they are
rude and ungrateful roommates. Is it possible that your business
is suffering because you two are devoting too much attention to
MIL and BIL, and not enough to the business?
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
My grandmother pulled the emotional blackmail ("Poor me, I'm
going to commit suicide") until one drunken phone call to my
uncle, her DS (my aunt told me the story). She said that she'd
do it by running her car into a concrete bridge support. He put
an end to the threats by telling her that if she wanted to do a
good job of it, she should make sure that she was doing at least
70 mph at impact! After that, she also slowed down on the drinking,
but there are many more stories. She was definitely a MIL from
he!!.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
The bottom line is this: If you and DH are able to keep a close,
strong relationship, despite his mother's actions, I think it is
worth it to stay. Some counseling for the two of you would probably
be helpful, especially if DH is having problems with the realization
that MIL is just being manipulative. He needs to at least be able
to see through her facade and refuse to tolerate either of you being
treated badly by her. On the other hand, if he fails to see that
your relationship is ultimately his top priority, I don't know if
I would be able to stay.
RESPONSE: Her Behavior Is Terrible
Don't let MIL manipulate you. Don't even get angry about it. No
need really, it's not your issue, it's hers. There is no need to
give her any reaction or satisfaction for her awful behavior. It's
not worth it. I learned that one the hard way! The trick is to
respect yourself, your DH and your MIL. Yes, all of you. MIL needs
to be held accountable for her behavior. Hold her to it. It will
take a while for her to come around, but if you and your DH stand
united, that part is key, MIL will eventually see that the result
of her disrespect towards both of you only costs her. And, the
cost is her son. Both you and your DH must be consistent in your
behavior every time you see or speak to MIL. After all, he and
you are your own family now ("let no person put us under").
Believe me, I'm in year 4 of the exact same cr@p, and the ratty
old b!tch is finally STARTING to come around. We have refused to
have MIL in our home for almost 4 years because she will not respect
me. My DH and I spend all family holidays with my family. We only
stop by, on the way to our home, for the maximum of an hour (if
WE feel like it). There has been lots of reaction from MIL; tears,
anger, and TONS of guilt trips for my DH. She was awful to us (especially
me) during our wedding preps and at our wedding. We ignored her
(as in: did not speak or attempt to communicate with her for almost
2 years) and continued on our merry way without her. Now that MIL
is alone, she wants/needs her son, and she has finally started to
figure out that the only way she gets her needs met is if she reciprocates
and meets ours. Period. It takes a while, but it works. Good
luck.
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives