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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
October 22, 2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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I don't even know where to begin
with my MIL stories. My work friends tell me all the time
to write a book I could have a sitcom of my own. It
started while we were still just dating. First, let me say
that I am 5 years older than my DH, which, per my MIL, the family
can never find out, or she will never hear the end of it.
We have been together for almost 5 years, and married for almost
two of them. After about a month of dating, MIL told me
that she was surprised when her son brought me home, as he typically
would only bring home young, thin blondes (I am 31 now, I have
light brown hair and I am about a size 16). Just a few months
ago, when we announced our pregnancy, she said to me, "Oh,
I guess he really does love ya, if he was willing to get in bed
with you and knock you up!!!" She always tells me that
she hopes she and I can stay friends when my marriage ends.
Even when we were registering for wedding gifts, she would say
things like, "Only register for the best. This is my
son's FIRST marriage. I want him to have the best this time.
Signed - It Will Never
End!!!!
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My DH's cell phone rang.
He said, "Honey, please answer my phone for me, I'm holding
the baby."
| Me: |
"Hello?" |
| MIL: |
"WHO'S THIS????" |
| Me: |
"This is DIL." |
| MIL: |
"WHAT? ISN'T HE ALLOWED
TO ANSWER THE PHONE ANYMORE???!!" |
| Me: |
"Yes, he has his hands full.
Here he is." |
| DH: |
"Hi, Ma." |
| MIL: |
"IF YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO
ANSWER YOUR OWN PHONE ANYMORE, I'M NEVER GOING TO CALL YOU
AGAIN. CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S CONTROLLING YOU?? I WANT YOU
TO ANSWER THE PHONE, NOT HER!!!! SHE WON'T EVEN LET YOU ANSWER
THE PHONE!!!!!!" |
Signed - Welcome To My
World
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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There was an incident
recently, one in the long line of many. It's not that she
didn't throw me a bridal shower because she was "too stressed",
or that she ruined my "surprise shower", or that she didn't
bring my FIL because their family "doesn't do that".
It's not that, after being in a relationship with her son, she STILL
doesn't know what I'm allergic to and CAN'T eat/drink. Fine,
I can bring my own (even when she gets upset about it). It's
not that she said that I could either buy my wedding flowers at
a supermarket or I could buy them myself. It's not even that
she's blamed my DH's weight and other health problems on me.
I ignored the fact that she asked my DH, MULTIPLE times, IN FRONT
of me, before we got married, whether he was sure that he wanted
to get married. I didn't say a damn thing on MY wedding day
when she did a "family picture" and excluded me.
She buys me appliances for Christmas and my birthday that will help
me cook for my DH in a "low fat" way. I haven't
even said anything about how she hasn't really EVER talked to my
parents. She did not, and would not, invite them down (and
she gave me etiquette books for my wedding). I have taken
it for almost 2 years, and I really haven't made any waves.
If I see something on TV that I know she'd like, I tape it for her.
I pick up little things for her that she SAYS she appreciates.
I find it more than a little ironic that she ONLY calls my DH when
I'm not around. She knows that he forgets things, and she's
said multiple times that she should tell me things, but she only
calls him while he's at work. She sits and lectures him about
his work ethic, but encourages him to LEAVE work to come and visit
her. AND, after all that, when my DH called her and told her
that there was a problem, and that he'd like to discuss it with
her. She told him that, unless I came down there with him,
she didn't want to see him. And, when that didn't work, she
told him that he couldn't see my family. When he said that
he was going to anyway, she called him a traitor, and all kinds
of other things. Later, she called back to try to "discuss
it". She really thinks that I'm going to go down to her
house and sit there while the rest of the family discusses it with
me. HELLO!!!! Does anyone ever want to sit in front
of a firing range??? So, her latest thing is that I obviously
don't like her, and won't like her. By the way, after hearing
that it bothers me that she ONLY calls my DH when I'm not around,
she proceeded to do it the very next day. She's made my DH
miserable. He understands that I'm upset (that's putting it
mildly), but he wants to be able to visit his family together.
Okay, but she doesn't want to change anything that she does, because
SHE DOESN'T THINK THAT SHE CAN DO ANYTHING MORE "TO MAKE ME
FEEL WELCOME" IN HER FAMILY. Unbelievable. So,
what now? Do I stick to my guns and just not go down?
Do I wait and see if my lovely MIL will change at all, or do I just
make my DH happy and go down? I don't plan to go down for
awhile, but I'm dreading everything.
Signed - Can't Take It
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
YIKES! STAY AWAY!
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
How far away are they? If it is far, get a hotel room. At the
very least, you and DH should take separate cars? Why? So that
once you've had your fill, you can leave and DH can leave when he
is ready.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
Tell DH that he is with his family when he is with you. Tell him
that if he goes to see his mother before she apologizes for her
lack of respect for you, he can stay there. Yes, I'm suggesting
that you force him to make a choice. If he goes to see her alone,
she gets to work on him 24/7.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
#1 - stop pandering to her by taping things, etc. It hasn't gotten
you any favor in her eyes. #2 - You and DH need to be a united
front to his family. If MIL can't be civil to you, there's no need
for either you or DH to visit. Period. You and DH are immediate
family now.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
Don't go down, I never see my MIL. You don't need toxic people
in your life, cut them out now. She will never change, but you
can change the way you deal with it by not going down. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
Huh? Why can't she call your DH when you are not around? Must
you monitor everything? Why was she required to throw you a shower?
Is that not the maid of honor's job? I would not have brought FIL,
either. Showers are generally for women. I think that you have
some issues, and not with MIL.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
Why in the world are you being so considerate of someone who treats
you like cr@p? He!! no, you shouldn't go down. And, you should
stop taping things on TV for her. And, the next time that you see
some little trinket or googaw that you think she'd like, say to
yourself, "Let her buy it for herself." She's treating
you like cr@p, and you continue being nice to her. Win/win situation
for her, she has no incentive to change her ways because this is
working for her. It's time for you to stand up for yourself! Don't
go down there, and don't do jack for her anymore.
RESPONSE: Can't Take It
Is it nice down there being a doormat? I'm sorry to sound harsh,
but, evidently, your MIL takes great pleasure in treating you badly,
and in watching you just sit there and take it. Standing up for
yourself does not mean becoming a strident hag. It just means that
you no longer tolerate being treated badly. You wouldn't carry
on kowtowing to a friend who treated you like this, would you?
So stop playing up to your MIL. Let her tape her own TV shows in
future. Get some interests or hobbies for yourself, and stop dancing
attendance on her.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives