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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
October 27, 2004
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SEPTEMBER
2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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MIL and FIL had just broken up.
MIL moved into a new place and was using my DH as her handyman
for those jobs that were too dirty for her precious baby boy,
my BIL. DH spent the entire day under her house pulling
wires, and then stayed for dinner (I wasn't invited). He
continued to work after dinner. We didn't hear from her
for almost an entire day, but she called during our dinner hour
(which she knew) to ask DH to buy her some cayenne pepper, because
she'd heard that it was good for fighting off colds. DH
told her that he was in the middle of dinner, and she asked if
he would still come. He said, "When I'm finished eating,"
and she started arguing with him! He kept repeating, "No,
mom. No, I'm, eating. My dinner's getting cold.
I'll be there shortly." She kept telling him how important
it was that she starts with the cayenne pepper right away in order
to fight the cold. He eventually hung up. She called
back, and I answered. I told her that DH was eating, and
if that wasn't good enough for her, she could walk the 2 whole
blocks to the grocery store and get it herself. I said that,
since she knew that she wasn't feeling well yesterday, she could
have asked then. If DH had to leave in the middle of dinner
and DRIVE to the store, and then drive 20 minutes to her house
to do this little favor for her, she should consider it the last
one. She wouldn't ask my BIL, because he was busy, but it
was o.k. to order DH to drop everything and run to mommy.
She also told DH that she was getting a new car, so DH asked whether
he could buy her old one. She knew that she'd get a better
price by selling to him rather than to a dealer, and they agreed.
We waited and waited, but the new car never materialized (it was
supposed to be a reward for selling enough in an MLM. Just
this summer, she restated that she was going to be getting a new
car, and we repeated our interest in buying hers. We discussed
it, and even offered her a good price. When my BIL found
out that DH was interested, he told her that he wanted her car,
even though he's never owned one before, and has no place to keep
it. Now she doesn't "know what to do". She
doesn't want to hurt BIL's feelings by selling her car to his
little brother without offering it to him first. And, she
says this knowing full well that BIL probably won't pay her for
the car, and we will! But, she can't understand why I think
she plays favorites.
Signed - Cayenne Pepper?
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1 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My step-mom (aka my dad's
wife, that's how I refer to her in the 3rd person, anyway) tries
to play both sides from the middle. She'll be all nice to me, and
then she tries to say and do things behind my back to try and drive
dad and me apart. One classic; when my baby sister was born, I
gave them an outfit for her which I found cut up with scissors in
my car. I was 16 at the time. I guess this was her way of letting
me know that my contribution was not welcome. I'm in my late 20s,
they live far away, and I never lived with them. After a rocky
start to our relationship, I thought that we were both being adults,
and had moved past our initial misgivings about each other. Apparently
not. To this day, she tries to meddle from time to time and to
plant the seeds of discontent. But, she doesn't get very far.
My dad knows who I really am. And, I don't take sh!t from her.
If she crosses the line, I'm not afraid of confrontation or of reporting
back to my father.
Signed - Evil Step-mom
Thinks She's Smart
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My BF and I have decided
to get married within the next year or two. I love him with
all of my heart, but his mother hates me. I have never done
anything to this woman, and yet she still hates me. I have
tried so hard to please her, but it just makes it worse. I
don't know if I can deal with her for the rest of my life.
Signed - What Should
I Do?
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
Quit trying to please her, and don't deal with her for the rest
of your life.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
Dump the boyfriend and run. Get out of this relationship now, before
it's too late.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
If your FDH backs you completely, then you will be fine. If not,
run as fast as you can in the other direction!
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
If you are doing that and she behaves hatefully towards you, your
DH needs to step in and stand up for you. You can't change how
she feels about you, but you should not have to tolerate bad treatment
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
You don't give much detail, but you seem to think that your FMIL
hates you. What does she do that makes you feel that way? I don't
think that your FMIL needs to approve of you, or even like you,
but she does need to treat you politely and respectfully. You need
to be polite and respectful to her, as well.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
How is your DF handling this? Does he defend you? He should be.
I would advise couples counseling to find out how to deal with her.
Just an FYI. She probably doesn't hate you "the person".
She probably would hate anyone whom her son brought home.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
Sometimes the more you bend, the more they push. Try standing up
for yourself and push back. A lot of people like that don't have
the stomach for it, and will back down.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
You need to ascertain where your BF stands on this matter. Will
he take your side of his own free will? Or, will he refuse to hear
anything against his mom? That is all you need to know. If it's
the former, congratulations. If it's the latter, put him down the
road. Good luck.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
Stop trying to please MIL. It just gives her power over you. Does
BF back you up, or is he still attached to mommy? He should be
on your side. If not, you may be fighting a losing battle.
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
You need to talk with your BF about your feelings and why you think
his mother hates you. You need to find out from your BF if he is
prepared to stand by you and stick up for you if his mother says/does
anything to wrong you, even if that means that in the future your
BF may have to choose between you and his mother. If he can confirm
that he can do these things, and maybe have it out with his mother
now before situation gets worse, you stand a chance. If he can't
commit to standing by you now, then I'm afraid that you need to
consider ending your relationship and moving on - or face the prospect
of being a victim of abuse. Also, could you bring children up in
this sort of environment?
RESPONSE: What Should I Do?
Stop trying!! I've done that for 11 years, and it's only in the
last 4 that I've realized that it just doesn't work. I actually
don't know (or care) whether my ILs like me or not now, but I used
to work myself into the ground trying to please them, and all I
got was cr@p back! Have you talked to your B/F about it? If he's
blind to her faults, try to limit having contact with her. And,
if you do have to see her, be pleasant towards her and be the better
person. It's important for your self-esteem that you do this, otherwise
you'll spend your life working yourself up for these visits and
blaming yourself when she isn't nice back. Life's really too short
for doing that. Above all, don't let her get to you and split you
and your B/F up. That's what she wants. I think that my DH's weak
when it comes to the ILs, but I would never give them the satisfaction
of splitting us up.
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and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives