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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 1, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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I have been married for 11 years
to a wonderful man. We have 2 children, and one on the way.
My MIL lives 2!!! houses down, but of course I am respectful at
all times. I have tried for years to do everything that
woman wants me to do, and guess what? I might as well have
just gotten married yesterday, because I still can't do enough.
I feel that if I am not up and going at least 16 hours a day,
she thinks that I am lazy. I am not lazy, but I think that
a lot of it is my paranoid thinking (that is what my DH tells
me). I don't even know anymore. I hate to get on here
and whine, "Wah, wah, my MIL hates me," but I just can't
talk to ANYONE about it, not even my own mom. I don't want
to worry her. When it comes to DH's brothers' wives, of
course, she is sure to kiss their behinds in front of me.
And, they don't have to do a thing for her. They don't have
to cook at holidays, nothing. And, she sings praises from
the hilltops about them. Of course, I don't want her praise
or @ss kissing. I just want to feel accepted by her.
I treat her son like a king. I never nag him or ever bother
him about this. Her other DILs nag the mess out of my BILs,
and make them clean up around the house after they work all week.
I don't make mine do a thing. He comes home and he doesn't
have to hear me nag him, but the truth is that my MIL is just
like the other 2 DILs with her big mouth. So, I guess it
stands to reason. Well, I am done ranting like a lunatic.
I just really needed to tell anybody who doesn't know me how I
feel. LOL.
Signed - Bitter and
Angry
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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MIL is European and loves
food! She thinks that everyone is sneaky and dishonest. When DH
and I first got together, I was no master chef. MIL is a food buff.
She was coming to my house for Christmas, and insisted that she
take control in my kitchen of all the cooking. Out of respect,
I let her have her way, as I know that she has to be in control
of everything, or there are dramas. So, I stepped aside gracefully
and let her be mother hen. Later on in the day, when no one was
around, she said to me, in a quiet, sarcastic tone, "Aren't
you clever, pretending that you can't cook to get out of work,"
implying that I'm a liar, and that I am lazy!! How dare she! She
was the one who was insisting that she would "take care of
it". She was the one who shoved me out of my own kitchen!
She shocks me every time!
Signed - Chef
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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I have my only son's
(preteen) birthday coming up, soon. When I asked him what
he wanted to do for his birthday, a party, etc., he replied that
he'd already promised MIL that he was having a "family-party"
at her house. Just when was she going to ask DH or ME about
this? Does she expect our little boy to drive himself over
(it's at least 10 more years before he's old enough to drive!).
This is just yet another year of her hijacking my son's birthday.
She's managed to outmaneuver me for most of them, but this one really
is just horrible.
Signed - Why Do They
Do This?
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
You need to stop letting your DS around her alone if she is going
to manipulate him.
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
I hope that you told your son that he does not have to keep that
particular promise, and that you also told your MIL exactly where
to get off, in trying to monopolize your son's birthday.
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
You're the mother. Why don't you tell your child where his party
will be, and make sure that his friends from school are included?
Or, make it a surprise party for your son. When MIL questions it,
tell her that this was being planned right along. It sounds like
you've let MIL make too many decisions in the past, and your son
has come to expect his grandma to call the shots. Make his at home
party much more fun than going to grandma's.
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
That is underhanded and sneaky, and just should not be allowed.
You'll need to confront your MIL about this without putting your
son in the middle, which she obviously has no problem doing. She
is disgusting, using an innocent child to get her way. If I were
you, I would plan a party and exclude her for having the nerve to
step over those boundaries. That should teach her to never try
that again!
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
You're only outmaneuvered if you allow yourself to be. My son,
age 7, knows who the boss is, and it ain't grandma, and it ain't
him. All you have to do is say, "No, you're not having a party
at grandma's, you're having it here. What would you like to have
for your party?"
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
Don't let her have the control. Tell your son that you will have
the party here and grandma will understand. Then read her the riot
act. Later, tell your son that under no circumstances is he to
promise his grandmother (and whatever other person you need to specify)
anything without asking you first. If grandma asks him something,
he needs to learn to reply, "I need to ask my mom first."
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
Plain and simple. CONTROL honey, control!! They want things done
their way or no way. They obviously know that what they are doing
is wrong, otherwise you would have been let in on this little "secret"!
Tell them to butt out or you will plan his "FAMILY PARTY"
at your house and, OOOPS, forget to tell them about it!
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
I think that you need to have a long talk with your MIL about this,
ending with, "And, if you ever do this again without checking
with me, he will not be going to your birthday party, and you will
not be invited to the one that I plan." Don't let her take
over like that. She had her chance when her son was young. This
is your son. She's just the grandmother.
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
She's doing this yet again because you and DH are allowing her to
hijack your son's birthday. You're the boy's mother, put your foot
down. Tell her that she had her children to raise, your son is
yours, and you will be doing things your way, thank you very much.
Tell her, in no uncertain terms, that if she EVER tries to get your
child to promise such a thing again, she won't be seeing him for
a while. Don't let her use your child to play matriarch, or to
get under your skin. And, sit your son down, and tell him that
it's not granny's place to make him promise anything, and the next
time she tries that, he should come and tell you right away.
RESPONSE: Why Do They Do This?
Do not permit HER party to happen! DON'T take him over there.
He is YOUR son. Insist that YOU will be putting on HIS BIRTHDAY
PARTY! If she doesn't like that idea, tell her to continue with
her party, but with the understanding that the guest of honor will
NOT be arriving. He will be at his house where his OWN parents
are throwing him the "family" party. I would immediately
get on the phone to every relative whom you would invite, and set
the plans in motion, NOW. And, do it behind MIL's back, just like
she's done to you, year after year. Honestly, why you've continued
to let this happen, year after year, is beyond me. It would have
happened once with me, and then be followed by me lashing into her
and setting her straight. If she wants to throw a boy a party,
maybe she should concentrate on her DH. Your son is YOUR SON.
She had her chances to throw her own boy(s) their parties. It's
your turn. Do not let her have this party or you will never, ever
win. Ever. And, if you let her throw this party, she's proven
that she is more powerful in your own son's life than you are.
YOU need to stand up for yourself and your own family. Do you really
want your kids going to her in the future when they need or want
something? I would become the "mean mom" and insist that
she back down or get out of your lives forever. I would also insist
to your son that he always be up front with you whenever he knows
of plans in the works from now on. If he can't, then he needs to
know that there will be consequences for his lack of truthfulness.
It should also be explained to him WHY you are upset that grandma
"stole" the show, and why it is completely unacceptable
for her to do this to you and your family. Be the mom, not his
best friend. He'll have plenty of friends in the future. You're
his only MOM.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives