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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 5, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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I had known my MIL for about 9
years. She was always nice to me. I recently had triplets.
She came to visit us for a week, and within 5 hours I couldn't
stand her. If I did something for my babies, she would say
that I was doing it wrong. If I tried to play music for
them, she would turn it off. It got to a point to where
I said to her that she couldn't tell me how to raise my kids,
and she said that I was not going to be a good mother. Now,
I don't think that I care to visit her.
Signed - No More Visits
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My "MIL" is
always in our business. She calls the house every morning and afternoon,
asking millions of questions. She is just being herself. She asks
my DH what he ate that day. She also asks, "What time do you
have to work?", "What time do you get off?, "What
did DIL cook?", etc. It makes me so mad, because my DH sits
there and answers her like he's some 4 year old kid. But I'm always
in the background as my DH is answering his mother's questions.
She says li'l smart mouth things like, "Gosh! Why is she asking
all those questions? You're grown, and I'm grown. It's none of
her business." I think that she hears me too, but she asks
her son anyway, "What did she say?" Of course, my DH
lies to her and says something totally different to her. Gosh!
Even if he's sick, she calls the house and wants him to come to
her place, as if I don't know how to take care of him. This pushes
my button all the time. So, guess what I did? I had to work on
my DH. I had to get him not to go to his mother's house every time
she asks him to visit. The reason being that she only asks him
over to ask him questions. She knows that when she calls the house,
he doesn't say much anymore. So, she found a better way of getting
him to talk. I have a time limit on him when he goes to see his
mother. I told him that if he's at his mother's house an hour or
longer, then I would come get him. He knows that I will do it,
and when I do it, he also knows that nothing's going to be nice
about me coming to get him. So, he visits her, then heads straight
back home in 25 to 30 minutes. She always tried to push me around.
She even went as far as to try to make vegetable soup better than
mine, only because her DH liked my soup better. She's still competing
against me today. I wish that we could move away from her. That
would solve a lot of our problems in the marriage. His mother's
messing it up for us both. Either that, or he's going to have to
find another woman to marry who's going to put up with his mother.
I'm not the one.
Signed - Pushes My Button
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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I can tell you from experience
that living in such close proximity to the manipulative MIL is not
only damaging to your marriage, but also to your relationship with
your children. My MIL used to threaten suicide at least twice
a year, and we would have to drop everything and drive hours to
make sure that things were ok. Ten years ago, we moved her
into our guesthouse, and our family has been disintegrating ever
since. She lies and back-stabs whomever her current "target"
may be. All the while, she goes around our small town acting
the victim and spreading untruths. Much of the pain that she
causes is under the guise of "helping". She no longer
has any friends because she has basically fallen out with all of
them. She no longer can support herself and is completely
dependent upon us. Now that my children are in their teens,
she insists on them sitting over there and "visiting"
as often as possible, but she resents any time that they spend with
my parents, or even in their own home with us. Now, she seems
determined to push me out of my own family, and I can't even stand
to be around her. My children are caught in the middle of
a bad situation, and my DH feels completely responsible for taking
care of her. I wouldn't mind the situation at all if she were
a loving, sweet grandmother. It is the manipulative lies,
divisive "helpful" actions, and her constant interference
in our family that has caused so much pain. There are just
too many incidences to list. I am just at the end of my rope.
Signed - Feeling Helpless
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Have her declared indigent, and move her into a home. Inform the
children that they are not under any obligation to see this woman,
and let her know the same thing. This woman is poison, and she
has you right where she wants you. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Put her in a home. She is ruining your life and your children's
lives. There is no reason that she should be living in your guesthouse.
If she can't live by herself, stick her in assisted living somewhere,
and let your DH visit her there.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Your DH should not be solely responsible for supporting your MIL.
If there are siblings, these siblings should help. It would be
healthier for your family for MIL to get into an apartment of her
own. You need your space. You should not be pushed out of your
own home. Your priorities are you, your children, and the then
MIL. Your DH needs to take control of the situation and make some
healthy decisions with you about your living situation. It is your
home. MIL should respect your rules until she is put into a place
of her own. Signed - empathy for you.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
If DH won't make his family his top priority, leave him. A judge
will tell him who his first responsibility is.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Tell DH that it's time for "mom" to go into assisted living,
since you can no longer "assist" her. He still gets to
take care of her, you guys get your space back, and MIL gets to
meet a whole bunch of new people whom she can tick off.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Kick her out of your house. Why did you even let her move in in
the first place? She kept threatening suicide? You should've called
the police when she did that so they could've put her in psychiatric
help, something that she needs. She is not worth your family falling
apart. Kick her out!
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
It sounds like a nursing home is a good idea. Maybe you should
tell her that, since your family cannot give her the attention that
she seems to need, you'll have to find her a good nursing home.
Seriously, you need to have a family meeting (minus the MIL) and
talk about what boundaries you need to set for her. And, once you
have established that, you need to let her know what the boundaries
will be (don't ask her opinion on them) and then stick to it. She
sounds like a black hole who will continue to suck the life out
of you if you let her. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Two words: Nursing home.
RESPONSE: Feeling Helpless
Get her into a home and out of your day to day lives. For the sake
of your family's sanity, do it NOW!!
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Working Women Don't Have Wives