|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
November 7, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
OCTOBER
2004
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
NOVEMBER
2004
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
My MIL is a real b!tch!!
She's nosey and is always in our business, even when we were dating.
I still can't believe that I married such a mama's boy!!
She thinks that just because she raised her son, he now has to
raise her. She's 44 years old, and she is in good health.
I would understand if she was sick, but she's healthy. She's
just spoiled. She's always saying that she missed her son
and that she wants to see him, but when she does, she screams
at him as if he were a little boy. She's a hypocrite.
She can talk to me fine one day and we laugh, and then she talks
about me to her sisters. I hate her, but I'm trying to not
let it affect our marriage anymore.
Signed - Is She Spoiled,
Or What?
|
0
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
|
Strongly Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Please Seek Counseling
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Continue on Message
Board
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I told my MIL that my
son had a project to do on a foreign country, and that we were working
on it. And, then, surprise, she got all her information and
books, and made a game board. She told us how she wanted it
done. She constantly oversteps my life.
Signed - Oversteps
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
|
 |
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- noruby4me /Posted: 7-NOV-04
I'm curious as to what you all think about a parenting
choice that my SIL and BIL made with respect to my niece (DN).
DN is a truly gifted athlete. She's 11 now, and has been competing
in tournaments for her sport for at least 4 years. She has often
beaten older, more seasoned young players, and is considered by
many pros in her sports circle to be the most promising player in
the field, in her time. She is a prodigy in the true sense of the
word. She has played in other countries, and has been offered sponsorships,
etc. Most recently, my SIL and BIL sent her, an 11-year-old girl,
alone on a plane to Europe. She will compete there under the guidance
of a professional coach who invited her to do so. She is staying
with this man and, I believe, his family. I think that he has a
wife and possibly older children. My ILs are barely acquainted
with this man and his family. Though I'm sure that the situation
is most likely fine, I personally believe that, where your child
is concerned, you always assume the protective position. I don't
mean that a parent shouldn't let their child play on the swings
or toss a football because they might get hurt; I mean that the
degree of the potential downside of some risks makes it wisest not
to take them. I suppose that when a child has such a special gift,
the parents would want to give that child every opportunity to make
it possible for the child to achieve the highest levels of greatness
that she can possibly achieve. My DN certainly seems to enjoy competing,
and they do consult her on her feelings. I'm sure SIL and BIL must
face decisions that most parents can't imagine because of the special
talent their child possesses. I respect that, and don't mean to
judge them for wanting all doors to be open for their daughter's
very unique, exceptional situation. Still, they have built what
by most people's standards is a very wealthy, luxurious lifestyle
on a very high family income for at least a few of the past several
years. Things have been tighter for them lately (though they still
have considerably more than most people), but I can't help feeling
that if I were in their position, I would have scraped the money
together to go to Europe with my kid, or I'd have paid for a trusted
adult relative or close friend to accompany her, rather than send
her to fly alone at only 11 years old. I feel particularly strongly
about this, since we are at times of heightened terrorism alerts.
By the way, I freely admit that I am jealous of their wealth. I
am not proud of this. They work hard for their money, and they
earned it without anyone's help. Pangs of envy aside, I respect
that, sincerely and profoundly, and in my heart I am glad that they've
enjoyed a successful and comfortable life. They have it because
they made it happen. Still, I feel that 11 is awfully young for
a girl to be traveling across the ocean without an older family
member there to watch over her.
Signed - Is It Me?
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
It depends on the child. At 11 years old, I know that I could have
been trusted to make the trip alone. My son could have. My daughter
could have. One of my cousins could NOT have. It is not like the
child was unescorted. The airlines assign a guide to the child
until they meet up with the proper person on the other end. Also,
if you base any decision on the "heightened terror alerts",
then you have allowed the terrorists to win. All decisions really
should be weighed upon any imminent danger vs. advantage. It sounds
like the advantages of this training outweighed the amount of danger.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
I agree with you completely. My daughter is 11 years old, and no
way, no how would she be traveling across the US, let alone to Europe.
Yes, someone should have scraped together the money to go with her.
They should check out the family and the man before letting her
stay with someone whom they didn't know well. The coach should
be used to these concerns and welcome it. I also like to think
that the daughter would perform better knowing that caring parents
were watching over her and out for her.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
You mentioned that the child is already used to traveling overseas
to compete, she is very bright and it sounds like she is disciplined.
Unless her parents are in a frenzy over the situation, I wouldn't
worry too much. They know their child, and whether she can handle
the flight and herself. On top of all of this, the man with whom
she is staying is a "coach" for what ever sport she plays,
and has obviously worked with training others before. I can understand
your concerns, but she would be much better off without a big American
relative standing next to her - she would just blend in with coach's
family better. She has a wonderful gift and opportunity, and her
parents are letting her have it. I'm sure that the parents are
aware of the situation a lot more than you are, they just didn't
do what you would have liked.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
I think that if you were so concerned, you should have offered to
go with her instead of sitting in the sidelines and judging the
parent's decision. Sorry, your envy is making you petty. Talk
less and do more is my motto. Yes, it is you. I think that if
we all judged less and acted more, we would all be better off.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
In response to your question, "Is it me?", the answer
is yes. I suspected only a few sentences into your entry that you
were jealous of your SIL and BIL - well before you admitted it yourself.
What tipped me off is your over-concern for their situation, to
such an extent that you would write about it on this site. I was
involved in the professional music scene when I was very young,
and my parents sent me alone abroad for two weeks to participate
in a prestigious music festival when I was 14. It was my first
time outside of the U.S. Childhood for people who are heavily involved
in sports or music - disciplines that must be mastered early if
you want to go professional - is different than for other children.
I agree that perhaps one of your DN's parents should have gone with
her, but perhaps they assessed your DN to be unusually mature for
her age and felt that she could handle it on her own and would be
in good hands? In any event, I don't think that the situation should
concern you to the extent that you have obviously allowed it to.
Pack your green monster away and be proud of having such talent
in your family!
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
I think that you have to put your feelings aside. She's not your
child, she's theirs. I'm sure that they all talked about it before
she went. I'm sure that there are a lot of things that you would
do for your children that others wouldn't, and vice versa. I think
that it all depends on the child. I can't imagine myself going
that far away alone at that age, but I cant speak for other people
at the same age.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
I'm less concerned about the child traveling alone than I am about
her living situation. A parent should go with DN to make sure that
the living situation is all right. If everything seems O.K., then
the parent could leave, knowing the child is all right. All that
said - THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Leave it alone. The most
you should do is give DN a calling card and tell her to call you
any time, day or night, for any reason. Don't go any further than
that or you'll cause a rift.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
It is not you, it is your DN's parents, and they ought to be ashamed
of themselves! They wouldn't leave a new car in an area where they
thought something could happen to it, yet they're willing to take
chances with their own DD and send her overseas without even knowing
all the details of what she will be doing, and not knowing whom
she will be staying with very well! I would be suspicious of a
situation like this, because most coaches who ask players to play
in another country ask a parent chaperone to go along. The fact
that he's a male coach and wanted your DN to come alone should raise
questions. Most likely she is fine and having a good time. However,
her parents shouldn't have just let her go without asking if one
of them could go with her, or without asking A LOT of questions.
I have a teen DD and I would never dream of letting her go ANYWHERE
without knowing all the details, or not knowing whom she would be
with very well. I also think that age 11 is way too young to go
to Europe alone, unless she is going to stay with relatives! I
can't stand people who give more thought to how luxurious their
house is, or what options they can get on their new car, than they
do about raising their kids and keeping them safe!
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
They're nuts to send her there without a chaperone, at least at
first! I even scope things out when my 11-year old daughter goes
to spend the night with friends, making sure that anyone at the
home is responsible, etc.
RESPONSE: Is It Me?
Forget terrorism. I would be extremely concerned about sending
a girl abroad to a complete stranger at such a young age. What
the HE!! are her parents thinking? It's not like sending your child
away to boarding school. Your SIL and BIL appear to know nothing
of this man and his family (if, indeed, he has one). Why can't
SIL pull her finger out, go over there, and rent a little flat for
herself and DN? DN's isolation from her family is likely to affect
her performance in the long run - assuming that nothing worse happens
to her in the meantime.
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives