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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 8, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Civchic, 1 of 4 needed/Posted:
8-NOV-04
My FDH is a terrible romantic, and when he proposed
it was the most amazing day of my entire life. Let me just
say that it involved New York City and some of the finer things
that it has to offer. He even designed my engagement ring
and had it custom made. He had to save up for an entire
year for this proposal. The only person who knew about it
was my dad, whom he'd asked for my hand. Of course, I was
honored and excited, and couldn't wait to tell everyone.
This is the story of my FMIL's response to the announcement.
We went to her house after her work (about 11:30 pm). We
chatted for a bit. I had the ring in my pocket so that they
(she and her BF) wouldn't notice it before FDH had a chance to
tell them. The BF was playing video games or something.
Finally, FDH said, "Well, you're going to have a DIL,"
or something along those lines. She sat back in her chair
and said, "Oh." Then, after a few more seconds,
she said, "Oh! That's nice!" Then, she went
to make a cup of tea, and called FDH in to the kitchen to "help"
her. The discussion that they had was about three things:
1) He should make sure that I was really in love with him
and not just a golddigger; 2) The merits of a prenuptial
agreement; 3) A discussion of the various young marriages
that she'd seen break up in the last few years. She finally
said, "Congrats," when we left an hour later.
The BF never said anything about it all.
Signed - She Could've
Pretended To Be Happy
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: Last year,
two weeks before Christmas, my DH and I painted our kitchen a light
pale yellow to give more light to the room. It had been a dark
brown color (cabinets and paneling). I was excited about our new
kitchen color, and asked my ILs to come by to see it. Two weeks
later Christmas came, and I received a set of canisters that were
the opposite of my new kitchen colors. The canisters had fruit
on them. I have millions of chickens/roosters collected in my kitchen,
and my kitchen is not a bright neon goldish color.
Signed - God Help Her
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- sonotthedrama /Posted: 8-NOV-04
I thought that the drama would end when I got out
of MIL's house, but noooo, she found a way to irritate me still!!
The kids and I moved to Europe a week ago to rejoin DH, who is stationed
over here in the Army. She has called twice in that time to talk
to MY kids. I was nice and coaxed them to talk to her, even though
my 5 year old DD shook her head and backed away from the phone,
and my 2 year old DS listened, figured out who it was, and said,
"Bye, bye," right away. That was the first phone call.
Tonight, she called again, and once again I had to coax the kids
to actually talk to her, and not hand the phone off to me or their
baby brother (he's only 7 months, so he can't escape, LOL). I didn't
talk to her this time, but DH did. Imagine my surprise when he
got off the phone and told me that she's hurt because she heard
that I was saying bad things behind her back. Apparently, her boss
said that I had said bad things about her. I admit, back in JULY
I said a few things because MIL promised to come home in a few hours,
and 36 HOURS later I was trying to figure out where the heck she
was. So, now MIL is "hurt" by comments that I made in
JULY!! Oh, and her ex BF said that I said some things. Yes, the
man who came over to say good-bye to my kids and spent the whole
15 minutes that he was at the apartment on the phone with MIL, telling
her that she drinks too much, has gotten too skinny, and looks sickly.
But, MIL conveniently forgets that conversation when he tells her
that I was badmouthing her. Hello? He told her that I said what
HE actually said to her on the phone. I don't know, maybe she was
too hung over to remember their conversation. Oh, and a good old
uncle said that I said things about her. I barely talk to this
uncle. When he dropped off GMIL, I spent the whole time telling
them about our moving plans and taking a phone call about our itinerary,
so I didn't have time to bad mouth MIL at all. But, now MIL has
gotten the satisfaction of getting to play the poor martyr. "Oh,
I love your wife so much, and I'd do anything for you guys, but
this has been bugging me and I have to get it off my chest because
I'm so hurt by her comments." And, of course, DH falls for
it and comes and tells me the conversation. I told him, "Why
would you tell me that? How does that help me?" But, of course,
he can't see that it's her little game. I have no idea if these
3 people even said these things to her, or whether she is making
it all up, but if she had a problem with me, why not talk to me
about these things that I supposedly said? Why go through DH?
It is just because she wants his sympathy!! Oh, and of course she
STILL hasn't mailed the package that I asked her to. And, the package
that she sent to DH came back because the shipping label was damaged
(?!) and resent. It STILL hasn't gotten here. And, when he asked
her about it, she didn't tell him, "Oh, I shipped it on such
and such date," she just said, "Don't worry about it,
I'm taking care of it." Well, does that mean that she mailed
it or not?! Meanwhile, that's hundreds of dollars of his uniforms
and such! I think that she knows that she has us at her mercy until
we get those 2 packages, and she's going to drag this out as long
as possible. DH says that once we get the packages we can go ahead
and ignore her phone calls/emails/letters, etc., and cut off all
contact with her, but he doesn't want me to tell her why first.
He says that I should be above such pettiness. I know that I should,
but, first off, I want the satisfaction, and, second, I think that
she may just be too dumb to realize what we are doing and why unless
we spell it out to her. But, I have decided that if we don't get
the packages within the next 2 weeks, I will just chalk them up
as a loss and cut her off anyway. I'm tired of playing her games.
Signed - Even On Another
Continent She Can Still Get To Me!!
RESPONSE: Even On Another Continent She Can Still Get
To Me!!
Just a word of warning that my DH, too, wanted to cut off PIL's
without a reason, and then we got infiltrated with phone calls from
them (answering machine messages) saying that it wasn't nice of
us to be like that, and what are they SUPPOSED to have done wrong.
RESPONSE: Even On Another Continent She Can Still Get
To Me!!
I stopped reading your post after you said that you try to force
your children to be on the phone with MIL. Your kids are giving
you a huge clue: They don't like MIL. By forcing them to talk
to MIL, you are teaching your kids that their opinions don't matter,
and that other's needs must come before their own. Not a good thing
to teach your children. There's a reason that your kids don't want
to be on the phone with MIL: they already know how toxic she is.
You should be protecting your children from her, not forcing them
to have contact that they clearly don't want.
RESPONSE: Even On Another Continent She Can Still Get
To Me!!
1. If she's been mean to your kids, don't force them to talk to
her. Even at their age, they're entitled to set a few healthy boundaries.
2. You don't know at this point who said what to MIL. If you want
to try to resolve this, then call her up yourself and try to work
things out without putting your DH in the middle. Just don't make
it an issue that it happened in July. Some people are insecure,
and they make take YEARS to work up the courage to deal with a real
or perceived injustice. That's their right.
RESPONSE: Even On Another Continent She Can Still Get
To Me!!
My MIL used to do exactly the same things as yours, go through DH
if I had said something to "upset" her. I don't make
a habit of upsetting anyone, it was just her trying to cause trouble
between DH and me. I don't have anything to do with her now. DH
still sees her with our children. But if I could have it my way,
she would not see the children. My children are saying that they
don't like their GM because she is nasty to mommy. She called to
my home one Saturday morning when DH was out at work and screamed
and shouted verbal abuse at me in front of the children.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives