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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 9, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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My MIL is the worst; pushy, rude,
assuming, and the list goes on. It began 1 month after the
engagement (I had only spent one day with her). She told
me how I was to run my house and that I was required to have a
well furnished guest room for her to come stay in when she wanted.
She felt that if was awful and classless of me not to hand-address
my envelopes. Then, the wedding planning began. She
told me how she wanted things. We are doing them on tabs
on the computer. Then, she told me that she was having a
shower for me. That I refused (I hate girlie things), and
that I should go because it is really for her, because she threw
them for her friends' daughters and it was her turn, so I should
suck it up. Then, I confronted her about her manipulating
me and our wedding and our lives. Her son thinks that she
is pushy, rude, and nothing that he wanted in a wife. She
apologized after I laid her out, but it was an "I'm sorry,
but this is the way that we run our family." I said
that no one runs me, so step off. She is annoying.
Nothing like us! Then, she told me that she wanted to be
a grandma, and that I should do that for her. She has awful
taste, and tries to push it on us. She just wants me to
be girlie, and that is something that I am not! I can't
stand her, and I never will be able to. Good thing she does
not live down the street.
Signed - Not Down The
Street
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6 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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When I was nearly 9 months pregnant
with DD, I was confined to bed rest. MIL decided to come
and "help out" by cleaning my house. I never have
figured out whether this woman is unbelievably stupid, malicious,
or maybe both. She "dusted" all of my wooden furniture
with a wet rag, assuring me that the finish would pucker and fade
like when you set a wet glass down. Then, she went into
the bathroom and cleaned the bathtub with what must have been
full strength concentrated pine-scented floor cleaner. After
that, she scrubbed the toilet with full strength chlorine bleach!
For over a week, you practically needed a gas mask to go into
the bathroom! We couldn't take a bath until my DH managed
to get that horrible pine cleaner eradicated and we could breathe
again! By the way, I never let that horrible woman alone
with my baby!
Signed - Still Hates
That Brand of Floor Cleaner!
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5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My DH, oh my wonderful
husband. We've been married for a year and a half, and we
are well past our honeymoon phase. We were married in the
summer of 2003. The supposed turning point in our relationship was
in September of 2003. Prior to this night, my DH thought that
I had never had a one night stand. Well, with a little alcohol
and anger I told him the truth. Now, one year later, he thinks
that I still have more skeletons in my closet, and he can't trust
me. I have done everything in my power to "make things
right", including therapy for the last year. But, he
still doesn't trust me, and says that he probably never will.
He has episodes where he can't talk to me, ignores me, and treats
me pretty badly. He says that he feels like he may have married
the wrong person, and that he feels like he was played and lied
to in order for him to marry me. I have given him every opportunity
to leave, and he always "comes back to his senses" after
these episodes, and says that he loves and wants to be with me.
But, I can't take living this roller coaster ride with him much
longer. I never know what I'm going to come home to.
Through therapy, I have been able to separate myself from him emotionally,
so I can see us separated, and have offered this to my him, but
he won't have it. He doesn't trust me enough to separate,
because he won't know what I'm doing. Mind you, my past was
before I met him, and I have never done anything to deserve the
mistrust since I have known him. I have always been truthful
with him, except for the issue of my past in the beginning, which
he still doesn't believe. Where do I go from here?
Signed - Where Do I Go
From Here?
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
You need to ditch this guy. He has no right to be mad at you for
things that you did in the past. The only reason that "he
can't trust you" is that he hasn't been completely honest with
you. Just think, if he can't get over a one night stand from before
him, how mature is he really?
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
You've given HIM every opportunity to leave, why don't you leave
him? I would - sounds as if DH wants it both ways. He can't *trust*
you, and doesn't think that he ever can. But, he doesn't want anyone
else to have you. Huh? Also, it's none of his concern as to what
you would be doing if you were to separate. And, what do you mean
by *coming back to his senses* after an *episode*? If he is the
least bit violent about your wanting to leave, I would run VERY
quickly and hide your whereabouts.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
Why are you "giving him opportunities to leave"? It sounds
to me like they are just opportunities for him to go and get his
end away elsewhere, and then come back to you for laundry and cuddles.
Throw him out. You do not need someone who constantly tells you
that he should have married someone else.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
Your DH sounds like he has serious trust issues. Get him to go
to marriage counseling. If he won't go, divorce him.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
Some people can't handle the truth. They are too childish, and
stuck in a world that revolves around them. He is the one who needs
to get over it. If he can't, kick him to the curb and find someone
who isn't so "perfect" himself that he can't understand
human frailty, and knows the meaning of forgiveness. Don't allow
anyone to tie anyone to them with guilt, and to make a lifetime
of making you feel bad, guilty, and unworthy. You deserve better.
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
What you did before you two were involved is none of his business,
and it should have no bearing on the relationship that you two have.
If you haven't had a one night stand while married to him, there
is no "trust" issue. He's just acting wounded because
he wasn't your one and only, and his ego is hurt. Even the line,
"He doesn't trust me enough to separate, because he won't know
what I'm doing", indicates that it's an ego thing. If you
separate, again, it's none of his business what you do. Maybe you
shouldn't leave the choice up to him. If he can't trust you, maybe
you should move on and find someone who's less judgmental. I do
have to question whether he hasn't done the same thing before you
were involved, and yet he holds you to a different standard.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
Marriage counselor! And, if he won't go - a divorce lawyer. He's
being emotionally abusive to you. Your "past" is just
an excuse to justify his behavior. And, you're buying into it.
Anything that you did prior to meeting/dating/marrying your DH is
your business, alone. He does not need to know, nor does he have
any right to be upset. IMHO, he has some skeletons of his own.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
He won't separate from you because he then won't know what you are
doing? Are the warning bells, red flags, not going off in your
head? He is holding a one night stand that you had before you met
him against you? He can never trust you, even though you have done
nothing to him personally. He is not rational. He is manipulative
and controlling, which are some of the first signs of being in an
abusive relationship. You need to get out and watch your back.
Get a restraining order if he threatens you, and keep yourself separated
emotionally, no matter what he tries. I bet it won't be easy, as
he won't easily let go. Good luck. But the longer you stay, the
worse it will get. There is no hope, unless you want to live in
an abusive and dangerous relationship.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
I understand that your DH would be upset by this, but he's taking
this way too far. He sounds emotionally and mentally unstable.
He sounds like he should be the one in therapy. If I were you,
I'd separate until he gets himself straight.
RESPONSE: Where Do I Go From Here?
He "doesn't trust me enough to separate"? What the @#%&
is THAT about? It sounds as if he has serious control issues.
He won't divorce you so that he can be around to belittle and guilt
trip you for the rest of your lives? Yeah, that sounds fair. Your
past can't be bothering him that much. He's got big problems of
his own. You are way better off without him. Leave NOW.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives