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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 19, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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After 5 years of dating, and having
a 1 year old, my partner and I decided to get married. We
planned a small, informal ceremony in a garden in May in the south.
That means very warm weather. I did not request that the
mothers wear anything special, just something that they felt comfortable
in. My MIL showed up in a black dress, black hose, and black
shoes! So, I've been wondering for years whether this was
intentional, or if she really didn't realize the implication?
Signed - I Suspect
It Was Intentional, What Do You Think?
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1 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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My family has a bad habit
of keeping secrets. Specifically, when someone is in the hospital,
they do not tell anyone. I am not sure whether it is because they
think that we (the children) cannot handle the news, or whether
they want to be martyrs. I am getting very tired of the whole thing,
and I find it insulting. They are treating us like we are immature,
and it puts us in an awkward position when we actually do hear the
news. And, if something tragic actually were to happen, it would
not be fair (it would be more of a shock, and we would not get a
chance to say good-bye). They feel that it is solely their decision
whether to tell us or not. I feel that it is rude and selfish.
Just typing this out helps me to realize how stupid it is for them
to do it. Thanks for the chance to vent.
Signed - Secrets
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- LavenderButterfly/Posted: 19-NOV-04
My MIL is a control freak. My entire family is in
the US, while I live in the UK with my DH. So, this basically means
that my family is paying quite a bit more than my ILs are to come
to the event. Now, nothing about the wedding was the way that I
wanted it. This included the number of people that were invited,
the food, the flowers, everything. She's actually called me ungrateful,
and has gone behind my back to my DH to criticize and say that my
mother didn't pay for anything. As I pointed out to my DH when
he brought it up with me, "It wasn't the wedding that I wanted,
so why should my mother have paid a penny?" The point is that
anytime anything is brought up to my MIL that she's done wrong,
it always turns into a scene. She gets all emotional, and says
that she "can't do anything right" and that someone is
always getting on to her. There just is no speaking to her.
Signed - Moi
RESPONSE: Moi
If there is no speaking to her, simply don't.
RESPONSE: Moi
Elope. Less headache. Less expense. Better memories. We did,
and I've never regretted it. The marriage is the important thing,
not the wedding
RESPONSE: Moi
The next time she asserts, "I can't do anything right,"
heartily agree with her and tell her, therefore, to stop trying.
RESPONSE: Moi
Well, if your family all had to buy tickets to Europe, they are
definitely spending money to help out. I know that I wouldn't expect
much more from my DH's side of the family if they were all paying
for plane tickets to be present in another country for our wedding.
RESPONSE: Moi
It's unfortunate that you didn't feel able to put your foot down
with your MIL earlier when you began planning the wedding. It would
be better to have a less ornate wedding that you and DH paid for
yourselves, than to have a fancy wedding that you didn't want, and
let someone else pay for it. The only thing I can advise now is
to ignore your MIL's tantrums. If she wants to play the big martyr,
let her. The only reason her behavior is getting results is because
you are letting it. I hope you have a lovely wedding, regardless
of MIL's immaturity and spitefulness.
RESPONSE: Moi
Unbelievable. This is sooo bringing back some memories for me!
*I* seriously could've written that myself 14 years ago (with the
exception that both our families live within 10minutes of all-small
town. How does DH handle this/her? Is he supportive of you? Please
distance yourself emotionally NOW - while there is still hope for
your sanity! I have a MIL who sounds just like yours. She has
3 boy, and she boycotted 2 out of 3 weddings (ours was the first).
And, at the last son's wedding, she went out, pouted, and sat in
the back! It gets WORSE when you have *HER* grandchildren! My
SILs and I have seriously considered divorce to get away from crazy
MIL.
RESPONSE: Moi
Is it too late to cancel the wedding? That's my recommendation.
Don't marry a man who won't stand up to his mom. And, don't be
a doormat yourself. MIL is getting away with this cr@p because
you and FDH are letting her.
RESPONSE: Moi
It sounds as if you are discussing your wedding. No way would I
let anybody dictate my wedding to me! Why are you going along with
MIL's dictates? Can't you pay your own way and make your own decisions?
RESPONSE: Moi
Your MIL would be better off spending her money on getting professional
help to find out why she feels the need to control everybody and
every situation. I can't stand people who think that just because
they offer to help pay for something, it is their say or the highway.
And, even if you say, "No, it's okay, we don't need your help",
they still insist on paying. It's almost as though they want to
pay because they want to be in control, not because they just want
to be nice and help.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives