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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 21, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- MmMmDanone /Posted: 21-NOV-04
Sadly, 6 months after MIL moved back in together
with FIL, he died. This is when DH started to open up about
what a pain his mother really was, and that he thought that she
had killed FIL with her constant nagging and taking all the money
that he had saved. Apparently, before she moved she had
control of all their money. So, when she moved, her first
plan was to get hold of all the cash there. DH was devastated
by the loss of his father, and found it hard to cope with his
mother in the weeks after his death. He asked MIL and SIL
if they would like to try to come and make a life here.
SIL is a doctor, and there is a shortage here. SIL would
have to learn English, and her DH would have to try to earn money
laboring or whatever until he learned English. MIL would
look after their DS (8 months). So, we had all 4 of them
in our 4 bed house (with DH, DD, and, by then, DS - 6 months)
for a month. It was purgatory. MIL would feed SIL's
DS and our DS with the same spoon! She went through my drawers,
cupboards, etc. That seems to be a theme on this site.
I couldn't find anything. I would come in the door after
work (and after picking up the kids from the nursery) and she
would be in my face (speaking her language - I have minimal conversational
ability in her language). She would grab the kids from me,
whom I hadn't seen all day, and tell me what to do what, where
to eat, where to sit, and on and on. They decided that they
would come here. This was going to be a huge financial burden
for us, as we would have to either buy a flat or rent something
for them. Luckily, we had the money from the house that
was sold, and we had sold the other flat. However, MIL also
had money from the sale of the house, so we asked her to put in
half of that towards the cost of buying a flat - no deal.
Use some of it to pay the mortgage? No deal. She then
started to look at flats way out of budget. We set up some
tours with estate agents, while we were at work, that were in
the price range that we could barely afford, but she wouldn't
even get out of the car. So, after their month here, they
went back and decided that they would return 4 months later, when
SIL's English course started. Meantime, we would look for
flats. Everything we sent her details for was not good enough.
So, they came back and stayed for 3 months. I was near to
breaking point, and so was DH, so we rented a place and got them
out before Christmas. I was on a work trip when they moved,
and MIL helped herself to everything that they might need; bed
linen, comforters, pillows, towels, cutlery, crockery, EVERYTHING.
Did she take the old stuff? No, she took my very best stuff.
While they were here, she complained to me about my cleaner and
complain to my cleaner about me. MIL told the cleaner that
I didn't deserve to earn what I did because I don't have a university
education and that I shopped in expensive shops (I don't - mid
range, I'd say). She laughed at me because I buy organic
milk for the kids. DH went to their place after they moved
in (1 street away!!!) to try to get them to pay some rent (SIL's
DH was now earning). MIL said, "No, you are rich.
You can afford it." We were hemorrhaging money.
They complained about how poor they were, and DH opened the cupboards
to show them how much cr@p was in the house (boxes and boxes of
chocolates and biscuits etc., etc.). He was as annoyed as
I was about them. After the new year, MIL stopped talking
to DH for 2 months because, get this, he had colluded with me
against her, because I asked him to get the spare key to our house
from his mother, because my mother and father were coming to visit
(and they would need it because we were both at work). Sheesh.
There's so much more, and I will continue to post soon.
Signed - He Had Colluded
With Me Against Her
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5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: Ok, maybe
I can't top your stories, and, unfortunately, this is about my own
mother, not my MIL. We moved down to the continental US in 1996,
and we were desperately broke. My DH is disabled and was fighting
to get social security. I was a full time college student, with
a full time job, and we had 3 kids (still have the kids, quit college
and got an awesome job). For our first Christmas here, my mother
sent a huge box full of presents. I was so excited, as there were
no presents in the house, and the tree looked pitiful without anything
under it. I opened the box and started neatly placing the gifts
under the tree. When I finally got to the last present, I noticed
that there was nothing there for my DH. Needless to say, this infuriated
me beyond belief, as my DH and I had been together for 6 years,
and my mother would normally at least send a gift certificate to
my DH. I looked at my boys and said, "We have a problem (they
were 3, 4 and 6 at the time). Grandma forgot to send daddy a present."
My boys, being the sensitive kids that they are, immediately opened
the big box that all the gifts came in and started putting all their
presents back in the box. I did not ask them to do this; they did
it all on their own. So, I asked them what they were doing, and
they said that if GM can't remember to send dad something, then
we don't want anything, either. Needless to say, 2 days before
Christmas I got a phone call from my mother asking me why all of
her presents were returned, including my 4 year old's birthday present
(his birthday is a week before Christmas and he didn't want anything
to do with it) so I told her that the boys and I feel that if she
didn't bother to get anything for my DH, their father, then we didn't
want anything either. She never did that again. She always makes
sure that she sends him something nice. I was so proud of my boys
that year.
Signed - Proud Momma
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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MIL is a flake, period.
She went out of town and called to let us know that she would be
gone for a week or so. I asked what she was planning on doing
with her dog, and she said that she just left her outside with plenty
of food and water. I called DH and asked him if I could pick
the dog up (over an hour away) and take care of it for a while.
Remember, not his idea, mine. So, I called MIL and offered
to do so. Appreciatively, she said, "Just chain her to
a tree. I don't want her to be a burden or mess in your yard."
I assured her that that was ridiculous, we would just take care
of the dog. Mind you, I have a 3 year old, and I was 39 weeks
pregnant at the time, with 1 hyper dog and 4 cats already inside.
DH and I mutually agreed that her dog would stay in the yard, as
it was a bit much for me to handle at that time. The dog had
a sheltered place to go, was fed and watered daily, and we even
bathed her. MIL came to pick dog up a week later and let her
dog in the house. Before she closed the door, I called the
dog's name and said to the dog that it had to go outside, that it
knew the rules. I was correcting the dog, instead of correcting
her outright. She immediately went off on me, asking me why
wasn't her dog good enough to come in my house, and saying that
my dog was dirtier than her dog (not true), etc. Anyway, I
had a doctor's appointment and she had agreed earlier to watch her
grandson while I went out for an hour. When I came home, she
had locked my dog out, and let her dog inside. Rude, yes,
but not as awful as what followed. After she let her dog in,
SHE WENT OFF ON MY 3 YEAR OLD!!!, asking him why I wouldn't let
her dog in. She wanted to know whether I was mean to her dog,
did I hit her dog, why was I a bad and a mean person, etc.?
Her DD (my SIL) was in the other room and heard the entire thing.
My DS also told me about it on his own, telling me that I was mean
to nanny's dog. I told DH about it, and when he politely confronted
her about, she completely denied it, calling DS and her DD a liar!
To add insult to injury, she hasn't talked to us since, including
not calling on her son's birthday! What a flake!
Signed - Tried and Fried
by MIL
RESPONSE: Tried and Fried by MIL
If my MIL was like that, I wouldn't complain if she didn't talk
to me.
RESPONSE: Tried and Fried by MIL
She hasn't talked to you since? Congratulations!!!! I hope it
stays that way!!!
RESPONSE: Tried and Fried by MIL
I assume that you are not complaining about her not calling, as
you have some sense of parental responsibility, and will not let
near your children (present, future, and furry) ever again.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives