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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 22, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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I can't stand the way my ILs treat
my DH. DH has a sister and brother. BIL's an ok guy.
SIL is just like MIL. I have been a part of this family
for 17 years. Over the years I have seen the ILs give support
to BIL and SIL, emotionally and with money. That's good,
a family should support each other. But when it comes to
DH, they treat him like dirt. FIL had a car that he wanted
to sell, and DH offered to buy it. The ILs upped the price
to five times more than what they were asking from everyone else.
DH didn't buy it, so they GAVE it to SIL. The ILs have a
boat that they wanted to sell. It has been sitting in their
yard, falling apart for 4 years. It needed a lot of work.
DH said that he would give them $500 for it. They laughed
at him. They said that it was not enough. A month
later they sold it to someone for $100. My DH won't say
anything to them. He says that's the way it has always been.
The other day, we were at the IL's, talking about the upcoming
Christmas season. SIL said that they aren't getting gifts
for anyone this year. That's fine, seeing as how they have
never bought for us anyway (although, not due to a monetary situation).
A few years ago, we took a Christmas vacation out of town, and
we told the ILs that we were just going to buy one gift for each
family. A family gift, the ILs do it all the time.
We were told that it wouldn't do. We had to buy gifts for
everyone. DH told them no, we needed this trip, and we were
going to do something for ourselves for once. MIL told DH
how selfish he was being, and that he should be ashamed of himself
- he has money and he should give it to them, instead of taking
a trip. We've never been forgiven for that one.
Signed - Never Forgiven
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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6 adults, 3 dogs, 2 cats,
3 bedrooms and 2 baths. Those are the ingredients for unhappiness.
I moved in with DH about 6 years ago, along with his mother, father,
brother and SIL. Things were very rough back then, but our love
was new, and we were oblivious to the hardships. Things wore on,
and got worse. Then, one day, a miracle happened. We were informed
that DH's brother and wife to be (at that time) were getting a house
of their own! Our prayers had been answered. Once they were gone,
things were wonderful. There was room to breath! The bathroom
was always open and free. I had 2 less people to clean up after,
and there was now a spare room! We quickly got a nice cabinet TV
set, and put the computer in the new spare room. It was heaven.
For two lovely years we enjoyed that spare room and the extra space.
When the ILs moved out into their own home, they did everything
WRONG. They had purchased a brand new modular home. It was beautiful;
all new - 3 bedrooms, big kitchen, 2 baths, full basement. It was
a spectacular home for their 1st place on their own. So, they filled
their new home with new furniture and started buying pets to fill
the empty void that was once a house full of people. And, soon
they lost it all and ended up filing bankruptcy. So, they had to
come back home, and this time they were bringing with them a one
hundred pound lab/retriever. Good-bye privacy, good-bye happiness,
good-bye spare room. It's been almost a year now since they've
moved back. And, the way things are looking, they aren't in a big
hurry to move back out. They have been investing their money into
dirt bikes and four wheelers with the extra money that they're saving
on not paying any rent.
Signed - A Year Now
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My DH is an only child.
My MIL seems to be having a difficult time accepting that she is
no longer the only "lady of the house", and this has caused
problems many a time. The first time was when we just moved
into our new home some years ago, and we decided to have a BBQ.
She went ahead and invited people to our house for our BBQ, including
people whom my DH and I did not like, and did not intend to invite.
So, we had some words about it, and I thought it was done.
But, no, I was mistaken. Fast forward to a couple of years
later when I decided that my DH and I were going to throw MIL a
surprise birthday party. I bought all the invites, got them
all ready to go, and had her coming over under the guise that she
and FIL would be coming over for dinner on the day of the party.
Minutes before I mailed out the invites I got a call from her telling
me that she had invited people to dinner at our house, AGAIN!!
She figured that, since it was her birthday, she could invite whomever
she wanted TO OUR HOUSE!!!!!!! Needless to say, I did not
go through with the party, and we had a rather large argument about
it. It's gotten to the point now where I am hesitant to discuss
anything in advance with her, for fear that I'll have additional
unwanted guests at every occasion that I host. If I'd known
about this before we got married, I would've started working on
it sooner. As it stands, I don't think that I've gotten anywhere
with her. But, I will say this - if and when we have kids,
that will NOT FLY!!!
Signed - J of the Great
White North
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
It sounds as if MIL should be included in your list of people not
to invite, period.
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
Why wait until you have kids? MIL has shown that she can't be trusted
and can't go anywhere without her "people". Don't invite
her anymore. Or, if you do, foresee NO food for the hangers-on.
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
Do not let the people, whom you did not invite, into your house.
You didn't invite them, so tell them to take it up with your MIL.
Don't invite her to anything, anymore. If she continues to invite
people, make sure that you aren't home when they come over. I really
hope that she doesn't have a key. Change your locks if she does.
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
My MIL invited my (very much disliked) SIL to our one bedroom apartment
just after I'd had a baby, but she didn't tell me about it at all.
I heard about it through my BIL, who was coming over. MIL still
does not understand why I'm upset about it because "SIL stayed
in the hotel with us, so what was the problem?" They don't
ever seem to get it that it's NOT THEIR HOUSE!!!! I don't think
that your ILs will ever get it, so I would just give the parties
a miss. Good luck!
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
Two choices here: 1. Tell her bluntly (each and every time you
invite her) that when she's a guest at your home, she is NOT to
bring any guests of her own, or else you'll turn those guests away
at the door. Then, if she shows up with guests, FOLLOW THROUGH,
even if it looks rude or feels awkward! 2. Just stop inviting
her. Whichever choice you make, it's up to you to consistently
enforce your own boundaries, because you'll never be able to trust
her to respect the ILs.
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
Don't wait till you have kids - put your foot down NOW. Again!
And again and again till you hit the right toe. But, here's a change
in tactics that you should consider: Stop talking to her about
it yourself. Your DH should be taking this on - it's his mother.
Solidarity goes a long way towards getting the opposition to take
you seriously. Step Two: Don't plan anything with the in-laws.
When they ask why, tell them. And, if they invite you to their
home, why, it's time to follow their example and invite ten or so
of your most obnoxious acquaintances, too.
RESPONSE: J of the Great White North
I think that you've put your finger on the solution to your problem
here - stop telling your MIL every detail of your lives. It really
isn't normal to share every little incident with your MIL. And,
if she is constantly overstepping her boundaries (by inviting people
to your home without telling you, for example), then it's not unreasonable
to expect her to forfeit some privileges.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives