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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 23, 2004
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OCTOBER
2004
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NOVEMBER
2004
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Worst gift: When we
got engaged, the whole family started mailing us engagement gifts
from the wedding registry (except my MIL). We received a
popular, yet inexpensive and mass produced statue as an engagement
gift! It gets better - guess what we got as our ONLY wedding
gift? YES, but this time it was a KNOCK OFF of that same
brand of statue. It showed up one month AFTER we got married!
Signed - I Love My
MIL!!!!
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Dear Darling Son and
That Person You Married,
Happy Thanksgiving to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine,
considering that I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is
that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your
ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card,
which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their
mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their
pictures, poor babies. Thank you so much for the birthday flowers,
dear boy. I put them in the freezer so that they'll stay fresh
for my grave. Which reminds me - we buried grandma last week.
I know that she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good
funeral so Aunt Berta and I dug her up and had the services all
over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you
live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even
watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she? Well,
son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating
off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting
used to the cold since they turned my heat off, and am grateful
because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now, don't
you even think about sending any more money, because I know you
need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year.
Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is,
the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Love,
Mom.
Signed - Love, Mom
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My DH and I had a baby
not long ago. I previously had a child, who is 4 now.
My DH and I have been married for two years, and he has since adopted
my 4 year old. We went over to my MIL for my birthday.
I was almost completely ignored. I can handle that, because
I am used to it. But, my 4 year old son was also completely
ignored. He kept trying to get her attention so that he could
play with her. She gave him short, annoyed answers, and then
focused completely on the baby. She told me that she loves
our 4 year old to death, but there was something more special about
having a grandchild from birth. I was livid. I didn't
say anything because I do not want to make my DH's life miserable.
He did see that the older grandchild was being ignored, and decided
that she needs to see the children one at a time, or not at all.
She has been slowly "enjoying" the baby more than the
other child, and that just hurts me. My DH loves both the
children the same, and sees both of them as his. I hope that
she is not carrying her dislike for me over to our son.
Signed - MIL Is Such
A Drama Queen
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
You didn't say anything because you didn't want to upset your DH?
Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor. If your child is
being treated as a subservient being, I think it's ok to "upset"
your DH with the proclamation that it will NEVER happen again.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
Um, if your MIL dislikes you, why were you going over there for
your birthday? That aside, I think you are doing your DS a HUGE
disservice by constantly exposing him to MIL's nastiness. If MIL
is unable to treat the kids equally, then she doesn't get to see
EITHER of them.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
Your DH's plan enables his mother - he needs to confront her and
tell her flat out to treat both children the same or he won't see
either. If he saw both children as his own, he would do that.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
I think that she doesn't deserve to see either child unless she
can behave like a proper grandmother to both. If her heart is so
small that she doesn't have enough love in it for two children,
your son shouldn't be made to suffer for it. Tell her to get her
act together or she won't be seeing either of them any time soon.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
A new baby usually gets fawned over by everyone. Maybe DH needs
to clue his mother in that he would like her to spend equal amounts
of time with BOTH of his children, and not make such an obvious
distinction in front of a four year old who just would not understand.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
MIL is clearly ignoring your DS. Why do you put up with this?
DS is going to notice that GM loves the baby more than she loves
him. This will only cause bad feelings between the children, and
DS might have bad feelings towards you because you subjected him
to this poor treatment from MIL. Shame on you for not doing what's
best for your kids!
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
I really feel for your son. But, the hard truth is that there IS
a difference between a flesh-and-blood grandchild and a step-grandchild.
It IS profoundly moving to see your own flesh and blood being carried
on into a new generation. It just isn't realistic to expect your
MIL to feel the same way about both of them. Try to understand
your MIL's POV, but gently remind her at the same time that your
DS is too little to understand the difference, and that his feelings
are really being hurt by her. If she won't listen, then you need
to cut back the visits, or (as you suggested) let the kids visit
her one at a time.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
I think that y'all should take the final step and not let MIL see
either child at all, until she can grow up. Don't let her give
your firstborn child a complex. It's better to have no grandmother,
than to have one who is so biased. I've seen what can happen in
this situation: My MIL has two grandsons, one adopted, one "natural".
There was always clear favoritism of the "natural" grandson
over the adopted one. Years later, which child turned out to be
the better man? The adopted grandchild. He works, supports his
family, stays out of trouble. The "natural" grandchild?
Lives off his parents and grandmother, bounces from job to job,
place to place. I wonder if my MIL realizes what she missed out
on?
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
I would put my foot down NOW. Or, should I say, your DH should.
A four year old innocent, sweet child is being emotionally slapped
around. If she can't be nice to both, then I guess she can't be
nice to just one (which means all or nothing). Tell her that you
WILL NOT allow any of your children to be hurt by her. It is wicked
to do something so cruel to a child. I cannot fathom the shame,
unworthiness, and helplessness of seeking attention and getting
your hopes continuously smashed by someone who is supposed to love
you. I am sure that she treated him better before the baby, so
that is going to build resentment between the siblings. I don't
even know her and I want to throttle her. Please save your children's
emotional well-being.
RESPONSE: MIL Is Such A Drama Queen
I assume that DH does not want you and your child to be miserable.
If he is any part a man, he would be willing to take on that misery
himself. It will actually be easy for him - he just has to avoid
his mother until she behaves properly. Any separate visits or treatment
of the children should be avoided. The "he's mommy's, but
she's mommy's and daddy's" monster will rear it's ugly head
from time to time, as your children are growing up. And, you cannot
tell your children that it doesn't matter if grandma makes clear
that it does. If MIL is not yet a candidate for total cut off (which
she should be, if she keeps this up), tell her that, as an adult,
she should be over the "new cute baby" stage, and her
excessive attention to her GD (who probably is asleep most of the
time) is damaging her relationship with her grandson. Any more
comments from MIL about blood relations being better should be the
last time that she is permitted to speak to any member of your family.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
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one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives