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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 9, 2005
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DECEMBER 2005
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I am gay, and as such my BF and I are not married.  However, his mother is an absolute nightmare.  She is homophobic and will not allow me into the house.  Though apparently my DBF can do no wrong.  She refers to me as "his little problem" in front of me and behind my back.  I have apparently led him astray and made him into "a filthy little pervert", despite the fact that he came out and had boyfriends a long time before he had even met me.  I understand that a lot of people are homophobic, and it isn't uncommon, but I would have thought that for the sake of her son she could put her disgust aside.  She has GC from my SIL and BIL (both of whom like me and get on well with me), so that isn't the problem.  I am at my wit's end.  My BF sticks up for me, of course, but whenever he mentions my name or tries to defend me, she acts as if she can't hear him.  Seriously, she will go as far as to start a conversation with someone else while he is talking.  What shall I do?

        Signed - Hurt And Offended
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Fortunately, I only have to see my MIL maybe one week out of the year (she lives so far away).  But, her constant phone calls and that one visit keep me upset almost all the time.  Last time DH and I had to go across the country to be tortured.  I was upset for three months after.  This is just one of the little things that irked me (I have written here many other times about the big things).  In this instance DH had gone out with his dad, and MIL and I were at her house.  I asked her if I could do my laundry, as we were leaving soon and I hate to bring home dirty laundry.  She said, "Sure."  I had just put my clothes in the washing machine (all my pants and most of my shirts) when MIL decided that we should meet DH, his dad, his brother and some of her friends for lunch at a nice restaurant.  I said that this would be fine, but asked if she or DH could come pick me up in an hour, as all I had clean (and dry) at the time were my whites, a few t-shirts, and the pajamas that I was wearing.  We didn't have a car, as we had to fly across the country, and didn't think that we'd need a rental.  She looked at me as if I was crazy.  I said that I would find something to wear.  I ended up going out in a pair of DH's sweat pants and a t-shirt.  I felt so out of place the entire time, and then she had the gall to ask me at the restaurant why I couldn't find anything better than "that" to wear out.  I'd kill her if we lived in the same town, but as I don't see her that often, I didn't say anything and just simmered my fury in silence.

        Signed - One Day Maybe I'll Grow A backbone
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Worst gift:  My DH and I have been married for happy 18 years, but the MIL (a well-off, but cheap physician) has been a pain from the very start.  The first Christmas that we were married, DH and I were home alone opening our gifts Christmas morning.  He opened his gift from MIL.  It was a coffee-table book.  Then I prepared to open mine, as it was a tube-shaped gift.  I took off the first layer of wrapping paper and found more wrapping paper.  I started opening the second layer, but it soon became clear that my gift was - a roll of Christmas wrapping paper!

        Signed - Long-Suffering, But Still In The Game
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