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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 11, 2005
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NOVEMBER
2005
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DECEMBER
2005
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I met my DH on net and
got married to him in 2003. We got legally married first in the
spring of 2003, since I had to apply for an immigration visa on
spouse grounds. DH and I used to talk on the phone for hours and
this cost him a fortune, so we decided that we would start staying
together before getting married traditionally. MIL had problems
with this, but she somehow agreed to it. We tried to convince her
that it's a visa requirement that we had to stay together. The
day I left my country and landed in the country where my DH lives,
my MIL didn't bother to drop me off at the airport. The moment
that I reached my DH's place, he gave a call to my mother, since
she was worried about my travel overseas. I tried calling my MIL,
but the phone was busy. It was getting late, so I called her up
next morning. The moment that I told her that I had reached my
destination safely, she told me that she had heard from my mom that
I had arrived safely. She also said, "You have separated my
son from me, and your family is playing a game to separate my son
from me." She kept demanding that things be done for the marriage.
She even told my mom that since she is not taking any money from
my parents (dowry) for getting her son married to me, my parents
should do all that she demands. She was very abrasive with my mom,
and my mom used to cry when she heard my MIL's caustic comments.
The worst was when my MIL started comparing things done for my wedding
to what she had done for my SIL's wedding. The fact of the matter
was that my SIL got married at a very late age, since she was supporting
their family. MIL had not done anything great for my SIL's marriage,
but used to keep blabbering about it all the time. MIL started
ill treating me when I was at her place with my DH before our traditional
marriage. Day in and out she used to taunt me. I had caught cold
and started coughing a lot due to a mild infection caused by my
home renovations. MIL started saying things like, "What has
happened to her? She keeps coughing, day in and out. What is this
going to lead to? It looks like her mom has not taken her to a
doctor." One of my SIL's is infertile and other is blind,
but in spite of all this, she could only point out that I was coughing
and had health problems. Things just kept getting worse, as my
MIL got upset and insecure over everything, and kept on giving a
daily dose of taunts to me, saying that I was there to snatch her
son away. The worst day was when my parents came to my MIL's place
to give her gifts for the New Year. The moment that my parents
came to my MIL's place and placed the gifts down, she kicked one
and said, "What is all this rubbish around my house?"
She started saying things like, "Only pimps allow prostitutes
to be with a guy illegally," meaning that my mom is a pimp
by allowing me to stay with my DH (like a prostitute), since we
were not traditionally married. The fight got worse when my sister
said, "The clothes that you bought for your DD for marriage
look of low quality." My sister was 13 years old (young),
and didn't know better. MIL got so irritated with her and called
her "a small creature who had to be crashed". I know
that my sister should not have interfered in this matter, but she
couldn't bear seeing me and mom stressed and crying all the time
with my MIL's taunts. Finally, my parents left my MIL's house after
all the insults. DH got my MIL under control and was very supportive
at that time. FIL is highly dominated by my MIL and he could not
even utter a word against her, since she would kill him if he had
done that. So, he kept quite all the time, worried about what was
going to happen. MIL has also separated my FIL from his dear brother,
since she had problems with his brother's wife, as well. I can't
say much about that here, since I don't know much of what happened
with them. DH, before getting married to me, was supposed to get
married to another girl. It was totally arranged by my MIL. She
fought with that girl's mom as well, and the marriage did not happen.
So, with all this, I can tell that my MIL cannot get along with
anyone. My MIL also fought with me on the phone one fine morning
when I went for a walk and got lost. I called to ask my DH if he
could pick me up. DH was sleeping, and my MIL picked up the phone.
I asked her if I could talk to him. She said, "So, you know
that he is my son. Why do you want to talk to him?" I said,
"I am lost, and would like to talk to him." Instead of
asking where I was, she said, "Okay, why did you go and where
the @$% are you?" I said, "I don't know the exact place,
so can you give the phone to DH?" She hung the phone on me.
She then went to her son and said, "Please go and find your
wife. She is lost," She acted as if she was worried. When
I found my way home and went to her place, she said, "Oh, there
you are. You pull my son like he is rubber, and you torture him."
I was so irritated with her that I said, "I am leaving your
home, since you don't want me and your son to stay together."
She said, "Okay, go." FIL said, "Since the day you
came in to my son's life you have only given trouble to us."
I was standing outside the house, crying, waiting for my DH to come
so that I could tell him that I was leaving. DH came and then took
me home with him. MIL started acting as if she was very sad that
I was leaving, and saying that she really didn't want that to happen.
I told my DH exactly what my FIL and MIL told me. MIL started saying
that I was lying, and that she never said all those statements.
DH knew exactly what had happened, and he believed me. He said,
"I don't have to bear this torture anymore, and will take you
away from them." Then, I told him that I would give my MIL
one more chance to see if she improves and stops fighting. She
apologized later. She said that this was all this out of frustration
because she was not rich enough to do enough for her DD's marriage,
and she would live like a servant, even if my DH doesn't give her
money. I thought that she was really apologetic. But, she wasn't.
She started her taunts again during the wedding. She had bought
an awful dress for my parent's for the wedding. My parents gave
good quality clothes to everyone in my DH's family. DH also supported
my father financially when he was running short of money, in order
to carry out the wedding in the way that my MIL wanted. We thought
that she would cool down after the traditional marriage. Now, she
comes to our place for vacations. MIL, FIL and my blind SIL come,
but still my MIL has not changed and she fought with us day before
yesterday. I am very disgusted with her behavior. I can only say
that no one should get a MIL like I have, but everyone should get
a DH like I have. He is a real gem. It's hard to believe that
he is my MIL's son.
Signed - Unhappy DIL
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Working Women Don't Have Wives