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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 11, 2005
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DECEMBER 2005
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I met my DH on net and got married to him in 2003.  We got legally married first in the spring of 2003, since I had to apply for an immigration visa on spouse grounds.  DH and I used to talk on the phone for hours and this cost him a fortune, so we decided that we would start staying together before getting married traditionally.  MIL had problems with this, but she somehow agreed to it.  We tried to convince her that it's a visa requirement that we had to stay together.  The day I left my country and landed in the country where my DH lives, my MIL didn't bother to drop me off at the airport.  The moment that I reached my DH's place, he gave a call to my mother, since she was worried about my travel overseas.  I tried calling my MIL, but the phone was busy.  It was getting late, so I called her up next morning.  The moment that I told her that I had reached my destination safely, she told me that she had heard from my mom that I had arrived safely.  She also said, "You have separated my son from me, and your family is playing a game to separate my son from me."  She kept demanding that things be done for the marriage.  She even told my mom that since she is not taking any money from my parents (dowry) for getting her son married to me, my parents should do all that she demands.  She was very abrasive with my mom, and my mom used to cry when she heard my MIL's caustic comments.  The worst was when my MIL started comparing things done for my wedding to what she had done for my SIL's wedding.  The fact of the matter was that my SIL got married at a very late age, since she was supporting their family.  MIL had not done anything great for my SIL's marriage, but used to keep blabbering about it all the time.  MIL started ill treating me when I was at her place with my DH before our traditional marriage.  Day in and out she used to taunt me.  I had caught cold and started coughing a lot due to a mild infection caused by my home renovations.  MIL started saying things like, "What has happened to her?  She keeps coughing, day in and out.  What is this going to lead to?  It looks like her mom has not taken her to a doctor."  One of my SIL's is infertile and other is blind, but in spite of all this, she could only point out that I was coughing and had health problems.  Things just kept getting worse, as my MIL got upset and insecure over everything, and kept on giving a daily dose of taunts to me, saying that I was there to snatch her son away.  The worst day was when my parents came to my MIL's place to give her gifts for the New Year.  The moment that my parents came to my MIL's place and placed the gifts down, she kicked one and said, "What is all this rubbish around my house?"  She started saying things like, "Only pimps allow prostitutes to be with a guy illegally," meaning that my mom is a pimp by allowing me to stay with my DH (like a prostitute), since we were not traditionally married.  The fight got worse when my sister said, "The clothes that you bought for your DD for marriage look of low quality."  My sister was 13 years old (young), and didn't know better.  MIL got so irritated with her and called her "a small creature who had to be crashed".  I know that my sister should not have interfered in this matter, but she couldn't bear seeing me and mom stressed and crying all the time with my MIL's taunts.  Finally, my parents left my MIL's house after all the insults.  DH got my MIL under control and was very supportive at that time.  FIL is highly dominated by my MIL and he could not even utter a word against her, since she would kill him if he had done that.  So, he kept quite all the time, worried about what was going to happen.  MIL has also separated my FIL from his dear brother, since she had problems with his brother's wife, as well.  I can't say much about that here, since I don't know much of what happened with them.  DH, before getting married to me, was supposed to get married to another girl.  It was totally arranged by my MIL.  She fought with that girl's mom as well, and the marriage did not happen.  So, with all this, I can tell that my MIL cannot get along with anyone.  My MIL also fought with me on the phone one fine morning when I went for a walk and got lost.  I called to ask my DH if he could pick me up.  DH was sleeping, and my MIL picked up the phone.  I asked her if I could talk to him.  She said, "So, you know that he is my son.   Why do you want to talk to him?"  I said, "I am lost, and would like to talk to him."  Instead of asking where I was, she said, "Okay, why did you go and where the @$%  are you?"  I said, "I don't know the exact place, so can you give the phone to DH?"  She hung the phone on me.  She then went to her son and said, "Please go and find your wife.  She is lost,"  She acted as if she was worried.  When I found my way home and went to her place, she said, "Oh, there you are.  You pull my son like he is rubber, and you torture him."  I was so irritated with her that I said, "I am leaving your home, since you don't want me and your son to stay together."  She said, "Okay, go."  FIL said, "Since the day you came in to my son's life you have only given trouble to us."  I was standing outside the house, crying, waiting for my DH to come so that I could tell him that I was leaving.  DH came and then took me home with him.  MIL started acting as if she was very sad that I was leaving, and saying that she really didn't want that to happen.  I told my DH exactly what my FIL and MIL told me.  MIL started saying that I was lying, and that she never said all those statements.  DH knew exactly what had happened, and he believed me.  He said, "I don't have to bear this torture anymore, and will take you away from them."  Then, I told him that I would give my MIL one more chance to see if she improves and stops fighting.  She apologized later.  She said that this was all this out of frustration because she was not rich enough to do enough for her DD's marriage, and she would live like a servant, even if my DH doesn't give her money.  I thought that she was really apologetic.  But, she wasn't.  She started her taunts again during the wedding.  She had bought an awful dress for my parent's for the wedding.  My parents gave good quality clothes to everyone in my DH's family.  DH also supported my father financially when he was running short of money, in order to carry out the wedding in the way that my MIL wanted.  We thought that she would cool down after the traditional marriage.  Now, she comes to our place for vacations.  MIL, FIL and my blind SIL come, but still my MIL has not changed and she fought with us day before yesterday.  I am very disgusted with her behavior.  I can only say that no one should get a MIL like I have, but everyone should get a DH like I have.  He is a real gem.  It's hard to believe that he is my MIL's son.

        Signed - Unhappy DIL
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