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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 24, 2005
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DECEMBER 2005
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My MIL nightmare began when she decided to move to the same state that we live in.  Mind you, 12 hours away worked just fine for me.  I would have been even better if I could have blocked her calls.  I have so many issues with this woman that I don't know where to begin.  She has a gambling problem, which my husband is in denial about.  FIL passed, and the insurance money that she got back should have tided her over for a while.  But, after six months she was calling our house, wanting to borrow money (her words).  She actually expects us to just give her money and not expect it back.  Well, I'm sorry.  We have children, a home, cars, etc.  I am not about to finance her gambling habits.  She has even gotten evicted from her home because of her gambling.  If she does not care enough to keep a roof over her head, then why should we?  Before she moved we would go visit, and the house was infested with roaches.  She let her grandson leave food all over the house.  When my FIL was in the hospital, we went to visit and there was no hot water because the gas bill had not been paid.  I wonder why.  Can you say casino?  By the way, DH's grown brother lived in the basement.  We had to heat the water up on a hot plate in order to bathe.  She also used a hot plate in the kitchen to cook.  DH and I ate out everyday.  We left for a week and had to come back because my FIL had passed.  I love my husband, but the roaches, no hot water, and dirt were too much.  I almost got on a plane with our baby and left DH there.  About a year later she decided that SHE wanted to move where we live with her 6 year old grandson (he is as bad as he!!).  I told DH that I didn't agree with this, and that I had no intentions of living with his mother or taking care of his sorry brother's child.  MIL other is the problem in our marriage.  I can't say anything to DH about his mother, even if he knows that she is wrong, without him getting defensive.  MIL thought that she was going to move into our home, run us, be the center of attention, and have us raise his brother's child.  I told DH, "He!! no."  He ended up having to get her an apartment that he had to put in his name.  I'm still pissed about that.  DH has twice paid for plane tickets for her and her grandson to go back home to visit because she didn't have any money, and missed her family.  I say that she should stay home if she doesn't have any money, and if she misses her people so much, she shouldn't have moved.  DH works my nerves sometimes.  I want to know why we have to pay for his brother's child to go visit him.  His brother hasn't even brought his child a pack of gum, and his mother doesn't do anything for our child.  MIL thinks that I am supposed to worship the ground she walks on.  And because I don't, there is something wrong with me.  She told me that I'm not like anybody whom she has ever met before, and she is right.  I'm not going to kiss her backside.  When DH was deployed, I thought that I would have some peace of mind, but she would call to borrow money.  She actually got upset with me when I asked for my money back.  She said that she thought it was a gift.  Well, if you ask to borrow money, then that is a loan.  Once she called to see if she could RE-BORROW some money that she hadn't even paid back yet.  She called our house and wanted to know why I didn't let her know that I had gone out of town, because she was so worried.  No, she needed some money to play the lottery, and I wasn't there.  This lady even called my parents house to find out where I was.  We had words after that incident.  I couldn't hold my peace any longer.  I told her that I did not need to inform her of my whereabouts.  I had let DH know where I was, and that was all I needed to do.  I told her that she was not my mother, and that I'm not on a calling schedule with anybody.  If that is what she wanted to do with her sons, then that was them.  But, she shouldn't include me.  I told her that I did not appreciate her making plans for my child without talking to me first.  Also, I didn't like her always borrowing money and not paying it back.  I also told her that DH and I were not going to take care of his brother's child.  My BIL is now married.  I would like to know why he isn't taking care of his own child.  I have so many issues with DH and his mother.  Most recently we planned to visit my family for Christmas, and DH decided, on his own, to ask his mother if she wanted to go home for the holiday.  So now he plans to take us out of our way to meet up with his brother at a halfway point in order to drop his mother and nephew off, and continue on to my parent's house.  We will stay with my parents for 3 days, drive 12 hours to his hometown to see his sick aunt (so he says), pick up his mother and nephew, and leave the next day and drive 12 more hours to get home.  DH hasn't even thought about visiting his aunt since he has been back home.  He must think that I am BOO-BOO the fool.  He is only trying to accommodate his mother's needs.  I feel that when we make plans for our family, he should not try to schedule plans for his mother during the same time frame because when he does, it always interferes with our plans.  We end up having to schedule our plans to fit around what she wants to do.  I am so tired of dealing with this drama.  I'm thinking about taking a plane to visit my family and just telling DH to go home with his mother, because it seems that she is his priority, not me and his children.  I'm really not sure how much longer I can deal with DH and his mother.  Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

        Signed - Sick and Tired of Husband and MIL
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