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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 24, 2005
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NOVEMBER
2005
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DECEMBER
2005
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My MIL nightmare began
when she decided to move to the same state that we live in.
Mind you, 12 hours away worked just fine for me. I would have
been even better if I could have blocked her calls. I have
so many issues with this woman that I don't know where to begin.
She has a gambling problem, which my husband is in denial about.
FIL passed, and the insurance money that she got back should have
tided her over for a while. But, after six months she was
calling our house, wanting to borrow money (her words). She
actually expects us to just give her money and not expect it back.
Well, I'm sorry. We have children, a home, cars, etc.
I am not about to finance her gambling habits. She has even
gotten evicted from her home because of her gambling. If she
does not care enough to keep a roof over her head, then why should
we? Before she moved we would go visit, and the house was
infested with roaches. She let her grandson leave food all
over the house. When my FIL was in the hospital, we went to
visit and there was no hot water because the gas bill had not been
paid. I wonder why. Can you say casino? By the
way, DH's grown brother lived in the basement. We had to heat
the water up on a hot plate in order to bathe. She also used
a hot plate in the kitchen to cook. DH and I ate out everyday.
We left for a week and had to come back because my FIL had passed.
I love my husband, but the roaches, no hot water, and dirt were
too much. I almost got on a plane with our baby and left DH
there. About a year later she decided that SHE wanted to move
where we live with her 6 year old grandson (he is as bad as he!!).
I told DH that I didn't agree with this, and that I had no intentions
of living with his mother or taking care of his sorry brother's
child. MIL other is the problem in our marriage. I can't
say anything to DH about his mother, even if he knows that she is
wrong, without him getting defensive. MIL thought that she
was going to move into our home, run us, be the center of attention,
and have us raise his brother's child. I told DH, "He!!
no." He ended up having to get her an apartment that
he had to put in his name. I'm still pissed about that.
DH has twice paid for plane tickets for her and her grandson to
go back home to visit because she didn't have any money, and missed
her family. I say that she should stay home if she doesn't
have any money, and if she misses her people so much, she shouldn't
have moved. DH works my nerves sometimes. I want to
know why we have to pay for his brother's child to go visit him.
His brother hasn't even brought his child a pack of gum, and his
mother doesn't do anything for our child. MIL thinks that
I am supposed to worship the ground she walks on. And because
I don't, there is something wrong with me. She told me that
I'm not like anybody whom she has ever met before, and she is right.
I'm not going to kiss her backside. When DH was deployed,
I thought that I would have some peace of mind, but she would call
to borrow money. She actually got upset with me when I asked
for my money back. She said that she thought it was a gift.
Well, if you ask to borrow money, then that is a loan. Once
she called to see if she could RE-BORROW some money that she hadn't
even paid back yet. She called our house and wanted to know
why I didn't let her know that I had gone out of town, because she
was so worried. No, she needed some money to play the lottery,
and I wasn't there. This lady even called my parents house
to find out where I was. We had words after that incident.
I couldn't hold my peace any longer. I told her that I did
not need to inform her of my whereabouts. I had let DH know
where I was, and that was all I needed to do. I told her that
she was not my mother, and that I'm not on a calling schedule with
anybody. If that is what she wanted to do with her sons, then
that was them. But, she shouldn't include me. I told
her that I did not appreciate her making plans for my child without
talking to me first. Also, I didn't like her always borrowing
money and not paying it back. I also told her that DH and
I were not going to take care of his brother's child. My BIL
is now married. I would like to know why he isn't taking care
of his own child. I have so many issues with DH and his mother.
Most recently we planned to visit my family for Christmas, and DH
decided, on his own, to ask his mother if she wanted to go home
for the holiday. So now he plans to take us out of our way
to meet up with his brother at a halfway point in order to drop
his mother and nephew off, and continue on to my parent's house.
We will stay with my parents for 3 days, drive 12 hours to his hometown
to see his sick aunt (so he says), pick up his mother and nephew,
and leave the next day and drive 12 more hours to get home.
DH hasn't even thought about visiting his aunt since he has been
back home. He must think that I am BOO-BOO the fool.
He is only trying to accommodate his mother's needs. I feel
that when we make plans for our family, he should not try to schedule
plans for his mother during the same time frame because when he
does, it always interferes with our plans. We end up having
to schedule our plans to fit around what she wants to do.
I am so tired of dealing with this drama. I'm thinking about
taking a plane to visit my family and just telling DH to go home
with his mother, because it seems that she is his priority, not
me and his children. I'm really not sure how much longer I
can deal with DH and his mother. Any words of wisdom would
be greatly appreciated.
Signed - Sick and Tired
of Husband and MIL
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Working Women Don't Have Wives