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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 2, 2006
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DECEMBER
2005
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JANUARY
2006
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My MIL is an absolute
pain in my butt. Since I have no contact with my family, my MIL
so graciously offered to pay for our wedding. I was leery about
this, but agreed, thinking that she was doing most of this for how
she looked to others and not necessarily to be so gracious. Anyway,
all during the wedding preparations I kept giving her a list of
things that WE would pay for, i.e., DJ, flowers, music, etc. She
continually said that she would pay, as if she didn't hear us talking.
Even if I paid for something, she would ask how much it was. When
I didn't tell her, she would just write a check anyway. After a
year and a half of dealing with her comments and her trying to make
me feel guilty for not inviting her SIL to look for dresses (since
her SIL will never have the chance to have kids because she's 50
and not married), I decided to back away from whatever plans were
left, as I was tired of the constant comments. The comments consisted
of telling me that my CD covers looked like they belonged in a funeral
home, that my ceremony booklets should say "Thank you to our
loving parents", instead of "Thank you to our family and
friends". She continued to tell me that although I wanted
a string quartet for the ceremony, I "have to have singers",
as if that was the only way. I had gone to dinner where my reception
was to be held and ordered the exact meal that we were having at
the wedding. Unfortunately, it was horrible and I grew concerned
that our guests would be served the same. I wrote an email to our
wedding coordinator and copied my MIL. She called and ripped into
me, saying that what I wrote was not how "they are".
I defended myself, stating that if you are paying for $110.00 meal,
wouldn't you want to bring up the displeasure? But, of course,
my comments were wrong again. It was a constant battle that I was
losing, for a day that was not made for her. It caused my FDH and
me a lot of grief and arguing. It got to the point where I just
didn't bother to answer the phone at our house anymore when she
called. So, the wedding came and went. Then the video came back.
DH's brother gave the toast. During the toast he thanked the "gracious
hosts", his parents, for the occasion. He thanked me for all
my hard work. During the interviews for the video, MIL looked as
though it was going to kill her to say, "Yeah, you did a good
job with all of the plans." You should have seen her face
and heard her tone, as it had killed her that she wasn't recognized
for hard work. Better yet, as my MIL's friend is helping to plan
her owns son's wedding, these two women are convinced that the wedding
day is not for the bride and groom. Is she insane? Since the wedding
and all of the frustrations that have come with it, I've lessened
the contact with my MIL. Just recently, at a party for her SIL,
I let her know that I used the cookbook that she gave me to make
something. She leaned over to my DH and said, in the worst tone
"Oh, it couldn't have been better than mine." This woman
constantly knocks anything I do, and if I say ANYTHING, she uses
it against me. DH grew up with MIL and two brothers. Basically,
his father always traveled, and of course he didn't see any of this
bickering. I say nothing, but have grown tired of the BS. I am
30 years old and have been independent for years now. I cannot
take this for the next 30 years while she is around. I have no
idea how to deal with the constant comments, and not trusting her.
During the year of wedding plan he!! we exchanged an email regarding
what I was going to do if the pianist and soloist from the church
took any longer to contact us back. I said that I wouldn't have
a problem contacting the people whom I originally wanted for the
church music. Of course, she sent me back and email that stated,
"Fine. It's your wedding. Do what you want." So, here
I thought that she finally got it. But, no. I later saw that email
forwarded on to her DH and SIL. I don't trust her with anything.
She's over 50 years old and cannot even handle an email on her own.
Then, to find out that they were mocking the email, as if the soon
to be FIL was saying, "Well, tell her that I want the two singers
and see what she says." Even my new SIL told me that this
woman drove her nuts during her wedding planning. It seems that
I got the grunt of my SIL not involving my MIL in her wedding.
So MIL basically tried to take over. She's a back-stabber as well,
since when one of us isn't there, meaning me or my SIL, she's talking
about the other one. Someone needs to publish something to all
MILs to let them know that they have got to get themselves together
and get over themselves.
Signed - Need Some Relief
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Working Women Don't Have Wives