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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 18, 2006
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DECEMBER
2005
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JANUARY
2006
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This is a plea for help
from those who've been there! MIL is 84, stubborn, mean, and senile.
She has fallen twice and broken her hip, resulting in two long stays
in rehab centers. Afterwards, she returned home, where she lives
alone. She has one of those "panic buttons", but refuses
to wear it, insisting that if she falls again, she can make it to
the phone to call for help. We also discovered that she has been
the victim of a scam against the elderly for over the year to the
tune of around $10,000. Since she lives on Social Security, this
has drained her life savings. She won't call the police and has
been robbed repeatedly. DH is her only child, but she won't communicate
with him about anything, and is a chronic liar about everything.
This is why we didn't know the scam was going on until recently!
We finally had to take all financial control away from her, and
put it in the hands of DH's cousin, who is the family lawyer. We
managed to take her car away from her, too, because she has no business
driving anymore. All the dings and dents on the car testify to
that. This woman NEEDS to be in an assisted living facility, but
she absolutely refuses to leave her home or accept any help whatsoever
- no Meals on Wheels, no housecleaning help, no social services
that are readily available. Then she whines and lies about how
she's been "abandoned" and can't get anyone to help her!
Outside of having her declared non compos mentis (which would be
a battle royale in itself), does anyone have any suggestions? This
is taking years off DH's life, and he's not in very good health
himself!
Signed - Gritting My
Teeth
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Am I making an unhealthy
choice by raising my child? Ever since my 10 month old son was
born, I have had constant nagging from my MIL to let her have him
or let her be with him weekly, so he can get used to her. History
on MIL: She has basically raised her other two grandchildren.
Her home was the only constant in their (the GC's) lives. She has
been used by her DD (divorced 2X - each being within a year of a
child being born). I have gotten the greatest luxury of being able
to stay at home to care for my child, and my DH was a big supporter
of that. He actually wanted me to quit work to care for our child.
Within two weeks of my son's birth, MIL wanted to be over for a
3rd of the time. I asked if she wouldn't mind coming back after
I had gotten him on a better schedule (I was breastfeeding). She
gave me a smart comment back. She didn't like to be told NO! Things
were kind of rough for a while. She finally decided that she wanted
to tell me how she didn't like the way things were being done -
like not having a baby shower, and how she expected and wanted my
son once a week. I told her that we are not putting my son on a
schedule because I am not going to be on a schedule. She still
gets to see her grandchild 1-2 times within a 2 week period. My
parents live 2 hours away and get to see their grandchild once a
month. I am very close to my mother, and any time I take a trip
home my MIL wants to be over the day after I arrive home. DH and
I are not comfortable at their house because it is not our house,
and my FIL smokes in a room (still inside the house). I can't handle
smoke. Although my son is 10 months old, he is my everything.
I would trust my mother with him (if she were closer), but I am
still a little worried about my MIL. She takes 12 medication pills
a day. She can't hold him for longer than 5 minutes. She can't
bend her knees. She doesn't get on the floor to play with him.
All she wants is to hold him, but he is at that age where he doesn't
want that. When he cries, she has remarked, " No, you don't
want your mom, you want your granny!" That really bothers
me. This is my main concern. My DH is a teacher, and has summers
off. As far as parenting goes, I am a strong believer in being
raised by parents, not grandparents, and so is my DH. When I need
to run errands, DH is at home and is able to have quality time alone
without mom, which I believe strengthens their relationship. My
MIL wants that time, instead. She is now telling us that it is
unhealthy for my son to only be cared for by his mother and father,
and not by others, including her. DH told her that it was my decision
as to whether or not I was ready for him to be watched by others,
but she got angry. I don't know what more this woman wants. She
sees her grandchild 1-2 times every two weeks, whereas my mother
only sees him 1 time per month. My DH and I are having a great
time raising our child, especially in the summer. I feel that we
should not be pressured into making him stay somewhere (that may
not be a potentially safe environment) to make others happy, while
we are miserable. Is it unhealthy for me to raise my child? Is
it better for my child to be forced into staying at places because
it's supposed to make them develop better?
Signed - Curious
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Worst gift: For Christmas
one year MIL gave me, get this, a can of hair spray with the $1.00
tag still on it. MERRY CHRISTMAS to me. They gave my DH a whole
new wardrobe and also the kids, not to mention the toys. I made
my MIL a cross-stitched picture of about how proud I am to be a
part of the family, with a very beautiful poem about MILs. I really
put my heart into it. I have never seen it again. She doesn't
even have it up on her wall. Oh well, I learned really quick not
to waste my time anymore. Now I just buy her a little something.
Signed - Trying To Understand
MIL
( respond to this story )
( I can top this )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives