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Mother-In-Law Stories
February 13, 2006
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After reading a story here I collected some courage and thought I would also put my story together and see what people around the world have to say about it.  Some background first - I have a wonderful DW.  I love her so much.  I have left my country and settled in my DW's country because of our love.  We live very close to my the ILs (walking distance).  So, this is how all the trouble started.  They think that because DW is their first born and they live so close to us, it's their right to interfere in my plans any time they want.  Both MIL and FIL are so forceful.  If they decide something, we (kids, DW and I) must comply.  If I don't, my FIL will feel bad.  Nobody cares if I feel bad.  I have tons of stories about things that happen almost every day.  I fail to understand why my DW forgets that her first priority should be me.  I always give her first priority.  My parents live in a different country altogether, so there is no question that they would bother my DW.  Moreover, if I become serious over some matter and have some serious words with DW , she feels that I am not social, and I that hate her mother without any reason.  MIL is fond of going to operas.  It's a nice cultural thing, I agree, and I also went with them many a times.  They are so crazy about it that they even see the same show 3-4 times in 6 months.  In my opinion, it's a waste of money and time.  Initially I used to go with them and I have seen all the major operas with them.  The same show runs 4 times a year.  Each show means that you have to spend 4 hours of your evening there.  Now DW and I both are working, middle class professionals.  After a long, tiring day I would prefer to spend time with DW.  But, her mother wants to see the opera and has already bought the tickets in advance for herself and DW weeks before.  Of course, this was done without my knowledge.  So, on the day when they both know that they have to go, they will go.  I will get the following surprise:  SURPRISE, you have to spend 4-5 hours alone this evening at home.  Time that you were actually planning to spend with your wife at home!!  We are married and didn't plan kids yet.  I am sure MIL is using the liberty that my wife is her DD, and she has rights on her DD.  But, she forgets that now I am also here as her life partner, and we may also have some plans together.  Many a times my wife cancels our plans, as she sees a plan in my MIL 's family.  Then, we have to adjust our plan to fit to their requirements.  Many a time they become so possessive that I feel so alone.  It seems like DW is unable to understand this, and when they both are together they feel as if they are the best in the world.  They even tease me.  Many a time I feel offended, and I later discuss it with DW.  We both go to sleep in a bad mood because DW never wants to listen anything against her mother.  Personally, I would have no problem with my DW's parents if they weren't always possessing my wife, so that DW and I cannot come close.  This has really created serious problems, as our new married life is also dull.  It's been months since we did something together as a couple.  It worries me.  I sometimes want to shake them and say, "Why the  %&* don't you leave my DW and me alone, so we can also plan something together?"  I haven't seen my parents in years, because they live in a different country.  MIL comes to our flat almost every day.  I have no problem with this, as long as my program with my DW doesn't clash with their program.  But, mostly I find that DW changes our programs to fit to her parents' programs.  I go nuts (pulling my hairs off my head myself).  Many a time my MIL will cook more food and give some to DW.  DW takes this as an opportunity so that she doesn't have to cook.  She will eat it and will force me also to eat, even if I don't like it and plan to eat something else.  I don't drink, but my FIL drinks and smokes quite often.  Since I have come to their country because I love their DD, he has made me drink.  I never drank before.  Now I drink every kind of alcoholic drink.  He even made me feel (among his relatives) that if I don't drink, I am not a man.  He pushed whiskey glasses into my mouth.  After I got drunk, they felt great.  "Look, now our SIL is in our control," and now they can do whatever they want.  This is an ongoing activity, and still I can't find the solution.  This makes me HIGHLY obliged to my great ILs, so that we don't say NO to them when they need our help.  There should be a limit to everything.  Sometimes if this happens, it's an accepted social behavior.  But, if this forcing process crosses its limit so that I can't cook or expect my wife to cook a food which I like, then it's crazy.  I also note that whenever DW and I are away from our city together, we have no problem.  We also lived together in different countries for months and I think that those were our golden moments.  The moment that we come back to our home, unfortunately the whole bunch of sh!t starts.  DW and I feel that it is very hard to live our day-to-day life together because of MIL.  I would be grateful if some of you experts could share your experience and knowledge to help us live our lives peacefully.  Tons of thanks in advance.

        Signed - DW Is First Born
        ( respond to this story )        ( here is my story )

MIL called to ask what I had gotten my nieces for Christmas.  I told her, and we discussed what else they might want.  We had this conversation numerous times, as I had made my purchases in October.  This morning, when I called to see how my niece's morning had gone, their mother informed me that my MIL had duplicated my gifts!  She went out and bought the exact same items that I had.  She is just weird.  Why on earth would she do that?!?!?  I think that she just does things to make me angry!

        Signed - Unoriginal in The Midwest
        ( respond to this story )        ( here is my story )

Worst gift:  MIL gave DH $1,000 for Christmas.  She gave me a jar of jam, hand cream, and a recycled dish.


        Signed - Recycled
        ( respond to this story )        ( I can top this )


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