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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 7, 2006
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FEBRUARY
2006
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I made two major mistakes
in my life. The biggest mistake was to leave my very sweet ex-boyfriend,
who tried to win me back for 4 years. His mother passed away when
he was 12. I envy the lucky lady who ends up with him. I was so
young and stupid. The 2nd biggest mistake of my life was to get
engaged to a heartless SOB . I should've bolted at the sight of
his mother's fake eyebrows. His mother was abused by his father,
so she divorced him and raised 4 kids on her own. Just because
she suffered, she feels that it is her mission in life to make everyone
else suffer, too. You would think that bitter women would hate
men. For the life of me, I will never understand why bitter old
hags take it out on younger women. You'd think that they would
want to protect younger women. But, no, it seems that bitter women
only perpetrate the vicious cycle of bitterness. She hates her
DILs, and I would've joined her punching bags had I remained with
her bad seed. I understand why she hates the first DIL, as she
is so lazy. But, even when BOTH her son and DIL slept in right
before a road trip, she blamed only the DIL for being late. After
dating my ex-DF for a year, his mother started badgering him to
find someone else, while keeping me as a backup plan. Her ex-DH
is remarried, and I guess she liked being replaced. Once she even
pushed me. I dislike being bumped by strangers and I like being
manhandled by my enemies even less. Being the mama's boy that my
ex was, he was in the habit of running around doing his mother's
errands or being her chauffeur. Whenever his family, especially
his mother, said "jump", his answer was invariably, "How
high?" Once, when my ex and I were having lunch, his sister
called MY cell phone and asked him to come home to get a squirrel
out of their house. His mom and sister refused to call The Humane
Society because they didn't want to pay! I guess they'd rather
catch rabies in their unprofessional ignorance! So, we packed up
our unfinished lunch and went to his house to chase out the squirrel.
Although the other siblings were not controlled by her, my ex was
her favorite, both because he is the youngest and because he has
a learning disability. She showed him her will that stated that
anything leftover was to be given to him. Because his family treated
him like a doormat, he felt that the whole world was there to serve
him. When he was unemployed, he pressured me to pull strings to
get him hired at my organization. I was only a summer student with
no clout, working in a large organization. I was not comfortable
with anything beyond depositing a resume, and this made him angry.
On my way home from work I just wanted to cry. It was bordering
on emotional abuse, as his father had abused his mother. He must've
been bipolar. He even yelled at his mother, as his father used
to yell at her. It's not learned behavior, since he was a toddler
when his parents divorced, and he doesn't remember his father.
But it seems that abuse ran in this family. I should've realized
that a monster begets a monster. Disrespect for his mother was
not the only thing that he inherited. Impulsiveness also runs in
the family. When he shops, he often bought something and then returned
it. I should've known that he would shop for a bride the same way.
I've seen his brother ditch his SIL for golf at the last minute.
I've also seen her looking at her rings and crying. I wondered
if I would be looking at my rings and crying years from now. Rings
are supposed to be a symbol of joy, not sorrow. I think that his
family has moved enough times to drive the real estate market.
Even though they hired movers, his family was always looking to
him to help them move, of course. My ex's brother and SIL lived
with him and their mother for a short time (by this time my ex's
sister had already moved out again). The mother used to adore her
elder DIL, but then changed her mind when she started to see her
flaws. So, she favored me again. I knew that it was not to last.
After we were officially engaged, she started hanging up on me when
I called him. My ex and his mother sold their house because she
didn't want him to spend so much time shoveling and doing yard work.
I should've known that something was wrong with that picture; possessive
mother not wanting to keep her son at home?. They moved into a
townhouse in order to cut down on the mortgage. I should've seen
that their logic was flawed. This townhouse complex required them
to pay $200/month for maintenance fees! They could have kept their
old house and paid $200/YEAR to have a contractor maintain the yard
and shovel the snow. If our city had village idiots, they were
it. They just added a condo fee on top of their mortgage payments
and utilities! Mortgage payments are not forever, but condo fees
are! My ex's mother told him that we could have the house when
we get married, and then she would move into an apartment. Then
the impulsive genes kicked in. She changed her mind and started
saying that we could live with her when we got married. Since she
wanted to keep her house, we were looking to get our own apartment.
One month after we got engaged, my ex had a careful look at his
mother's mortgage and realized that they could not sell the house
anytime soon (it was a 3-year term). His retired mother could not
make the mortgage payments on her own, and was relying on his income.
That's right, he was obligated to pay the mortgage on the house
that she owned. She had 3 other grown, working children, but it
always came down to him. Now my ex was realizing that he could
not simultaneously support his mother, pay his debts, and pay our
rent while I was still studying my master's full-time (I was not
employed yet). The other issue was that I was uncertain whether
I wanted children or not, but I certainly did not like being pressured
about it by his friends and family. Before we had gotten engaged
he had said that he was okay with it either way. Just as his family
changes their minds at the drop of a hat, so he changed his mind
about children. Suddenly he wanted to perpetrate his abusive, impulsive,
indecisive, selfish, stupid genes. If I was not willing to be the
brood mare for his gene jokes, then we were finished. I realize
now that it is not that I do not want children, but I just did not
want HIS children. He also inherited his mother's selfishness.
Before she started to hate her elder DIL and before we met, she
once told him that she wanted him to find someone just like her
elder DIL - someone from our own culture. He is the one who has
to live with the person, but she was telling him what she wanted.
Similarly, when my ex was breaking off the engagement, he claimed
that he was trying to work things out. But, he just wanted to bulldoze
me the same way his family bulldozed him. All of his sentences
began with "I want". Although my ex chickened out, he
was unaware that an eagle was waiting in the wings, ready to swoop
down for the kill. Being in a masters program has allowed me to
meet many foreign students. I have since started dating an international
student, who has applied for permanent residency. We have been
together for 7 months. He is nothing like my ex. He gives without
demanding anything in return, manages money wisely, knows what he
wants, is even-tempered, consistent, non-materialistic, independent
and confident, without being boastful. According to him, his mother
only has good things to say about her DILs. Unlike my ex's mother,
my BF's mother told him to find someone of any race, someone whom
he loves (not someone whom she likes). Best of all, his parents
are overseas, with no plans to join him here (they are very old
and don't want to move)! If I need more incentive to hang onto
him for dear life, I visit this web site! Here's hoping that I
won't need a Frequent Fry Her page! I told this story for all those
who are divorced/single with another chance at happiness. It is
my hope that you will learn from my experiences as well as your
own, and that you will avoid making the same mistakes that I have.
I hope you find your own happy ending.
Signed - Happy Ending
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives