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My MIL is a Narcissist
Check List. THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED, ALL-AROUND BEST MIL
IN THE WORLD TEST (Or so she thinks):
True or false? Score one point for each true answer.
THIS PERSON HAS ACHIEVED MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE HIS OR HER AGE.
ANSWER: True.
Mrs. Perfect informed me, in full detail, that she could be a doctor,
lawyer, scientist, psychologist, artist, philosopher, designer,
architect and university professor. She informed me of all
of this on the stairs of my DH and my first home, about 5 months
before we were to be married. I was really surprised, as she
never did complete her degree in anything, and has been a stay at
home, shop-a-holic yuppie for as long as I have known her.
This was a BIG WARNING SIGN that something upstairs was not quite
right.
THIS PERSON IS FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT HE OR SHE IS BETTER, SMARTER,
OR MORE TALENTED THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
ANSWER: Sickeningly True.
She will tell you all about how everyone else (and I top that list)
has never measured up. Her two sisters are nuts, her mother
and father were evil, her DH is a failure, her two sons take after
him. But, my MIL, she is so smart that she has informed me
that she is close to Einstein in her thinking, and misunderstood
ALL THE TIME by us common folks.
THIS PERSON LOVES COMPETITION, BUT IS A POOR LOSER.
ANSWER: True
Holy cr@p, never play cards or anything of that sort with this woman.
If she is losing, she will discredit your game (and you are playing
Crazy 8's or something) as not being executed correctly, or not
a REAL game. She will then proceed to make up her own version
with rules that apply only during her card hand, and seem to only
"count" when it is her turn. Us stupid common folk.
THIS PERSON HAS FANTASIES OF DOING SOMETHING GREAT OR BEING FAMOUS,
AND OFTEN EXPECTS TO BE TREATED AS IF THESE FANTASIES HAD ALREADY
COME TRUE.
ANSWER: True (See question 1)
Then there was the dreaded wedding that she planned, decorated,
and designed. She stood at the door announcing to all who
arrived, "Welcome to my party!" in a 17 year old's strapless
prom dress, making my white gown look like a bleached potato sack
Guess who picked my big day gown? It sure as he!! was not
me. There was also the Historical Society mishap in which
my FIL almost lost everything to a divorce, due to him not agreeing
with her verbally abusing him in front of everyone because my MIL
informed us all that day that, "I am the boss, this is my event,
and this is my society." I guess she never got the "Thank
you for volunteering" memo from the REAL Society. I was
sure Einstein scholars could read?
THIS PERSON HAS VERY LITTLE INTEREST IN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING
OR FEELING, UNLESS HE OR SHE WANTS SOMETHING FROM THEM.
ANSWER: True
I have yet to see her do otherwise. Let me tell you about
me, did I mention me, I need this done for me, I know they envy
me, Oh and this was for me, and because of me, it will be great
for me, have you noticed me, it was designed for me, they had me
in mind, I am always thinking of me, me, me, me and so on.
THIS PERSON IS A NAME DROPPER.
Answer: True
Everyone who is anyone in the RICH BITCH Elbow Community is noted
as a best friend. CEO's and Presidents of billion dollar companies
were at my wedding. Did I mention that over half these people
don't even remember our names? But holy sh!t, she sure does.
THIS PERSON USUALLY MANAGES TO BE IN A CATEGORY BY HIM OR HERSELF.
ANSWER: True
That is a laugh. Four AM, on a work night for the other 4
members of the household, is the opportune time to play the grand
piano with full force, while wailing at the top of your lungs.
Then, if that gets boring, you can always start moving all the furniture
in the house outside because you have decided, being gifted with
the incredible artistic skills you possess, that the family home
should not be a home, but your own private photo studio. Your
second child's college fund, that he has been filling with birthday
money since birth, should fund this endeavor. Don't worry,
it only lasts a month.
THIS PERSON OFTEN FEELS PUT UPON WHEN ASKED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS
OR HER RESPONSIBILITIES TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR WORK GROUP.
ANSWER: True
How can people be so selfish? We have NO IDEA what she went
through. We have no idea how evil her DH (who is still with
her, and defends her) is, or how she had to do everything on her
own, raise the children, go to school, work a full time job, clean
the house, feed everyone, and always have a perfect tan in every
photo, and flawless make-up on her fit and trim figure, that is
modeling the latest fashions and a full martini. TOUGH!
THIS PERSON BECOMES IRRITATED WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DON'T AUTOMATICALLY
DO WHAT HE OR SHE WANTS THEM TO DO, EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE A GOOD REASON
FOR NOT COMPLYING.
ANSWER: True
If anyone reading this entry ever witnessed the Historical Society
incident, or any Sunday dinner at the family home, for that matter,
then this question would be answered loud and clear. "YOU
ARE NOT LISTENING. LET ME FINISH!!!" for the 400th time
in the span of the evening, and all that was said was, "I need
to go to the bathroom."
THIS PERSON REGARDS ANYTHING SHORT OF WORSHIP TO BE REJECTION.
ANSWER: True
It is true, I do hate her, and my DH hates her, my FIL hates her,
his family hates her, her family really does hate her, and all the
extended family on both sides hate her. We are all plotting
against her, right now. It is a secret meeting, now we sacrifice
the goat.
THIS PERSON SUFFERS FROM A CONGENITAL INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HIS
OR HER OWN MISTAKES. ON THE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THIS PERSON
DOES RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE, EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ERROR CAN PRECIPITATE
A MAJOR DEPRESSION.
ANSWER: True
EVERYTHING that has ever not worked out or gone wrong, from burnt
dinners to hurricanes and floods, are all, without a doubt, FIL's
FAULT!!!
THIS PERSON OFTEN COMPLAINS OF BEING MISTREATED OR MISUNDERSTOOD.
ANSWER: True
"You all hate me, everyone hates me! No one cares about
me, no one supports me. You are all in on it, you are all
against me!! I know you are purposely avoiding me; you don't
want to see me. You are all trying to destroy me. Why?
Because all anyone ever thinks about, 24 hours and day, 7 days a
week, is ME!!!!!"
Scoring: Five or more true answers confirms Narcissism
Signed - My MIL is a
Narcissist Check List
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Working Women Don't Have Wives