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Mother-In-Law Stories
November 23, 2006
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OCTOBER 2006
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NOVEMBER 2006
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My story is a long one, so please grab a cup of coffee, tea, etc.  DH and I met on-line and I moved out of state to be with him.  We later married.  Everything was great with the MIL, until my first child was born.  Actually, minor technicalities arose, but nothing too serious.  My MIL has an extremely domineering, manipulating, and playing the victim mentality, and it seems to get worse over the years.  Once I was back, family members approached me and were telling me that MIL had told the family that I left because of having post partum depression, and that she though I had gone somewhat crazy, LOL!  Do you think that any father or grandparent would let a "crazy" mother leave with an infant and endanger their life?  Right, my point exactly.  Needless to say, I was furious.  That is the #1 thing that the MIL did to get things really going. 

My MIL would constantly show up to the house, unannounced, and tell me that she was taking my DD to spend the night with her.  Many times I had somewhere to be or had planned something to do with my kids when this would happen.  Once, she showed up and I was walking out the door with the diaper bag (DS was an infant at this time), baby on my hip, and the toddler by the arm, to get their Christmas pictures taken.  She told me, "Oh, I was coming up to get (DS).  Where are you going?"  Ok, did I miss something?   Last time I checked, these were my children, right?  I politely told her that it wouldn't be tonight because of my plans, and she proceeded to get an attitude problem and have a mini ****fit in my front yard.

When my DD was 13 months old, she was diagnosed with a chronic illness, and she will need a transplant in the future.  DD has had many major surgeries since then.  MIL has been allowed by my DH to be there during these surgeries.  However, she always has to question and cock off with an attitude with the Dr.'s, as if they don't know what they are talking about.  We have had the hardest time trying to get this woman to understand that this is a chronic illness, and she proceeds to think that it is something compared to a common cold and will go away.  But this is not the case.  Did I mention that she does not believe in Dr.'s?  It's her opinion, and only hers counts, and she is always right.

We had to live with her for about a month when we renovated our home.  I tried in every way to come up with a way that would enable us to stay in our home, but we did not have a sink, stove, air conditioning, etc., so we had no choice.  I new that it was a bad idea and I told DH that this was going to be interesting, but he assured me that we would be OK  LOL!  One day we were talking about dinner and I had mentioned that that night we had promised the kids pizza for being so good, and that we would buy enough for the whole house.  MIL left and came back about an hour later with pork chops.  She said, "Oh, this is what we are having for dinner tonight."  I wasn't sure if she had forgotten our conversation prior, or what, but I proceeded to say that she may only want to cook enough for herself and her mother because we were getting the kids pizza.  She then picked up the pork chops, slammed them into the refrigerator, and turned to me hatefully, saying, "I'm not eating f******* pizza!"  She stormed out of the kitchen and I asked her what the he!! was wrong.  She replied, "Nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong!"  She mimicked her words while cursing in front of my children, and then yelled, "I'm going out to eat!"  She went out and slammed the door shut.  Now, my DD was scheduled for MAJOR surgery one week after all of this happened, so I was already stressed out and did not need anymore on my plate.  I decided to take my kids and our things and get the heck out of that crazy house!  So we went back to our unfinished home.  It was hard, and my birthday was 2 days after all that happened, so it was a little gloomy, but we survived and MIL did eventually apologize.  But she never got me a birthday gift - one of many times - different story, lol!  After that, my DH's cousin ran into her and wondered why we were back home.  She told him a bunch of lies and then told him that she wasn't going to ever apologize to me about anything, because it was her home and she could do as she pleases.  Yet, she did apologize to me earlier, hmmm.  She is nothing but a liar!

When my DD's surgery came, DH told my MIL that she could come to the hospital with us.  I really did NOT want her there, but out of respect for my DH and respect for the fact that she is still my DD's GM, I said it was fine, as long as she did not make any scenes or start a bunch of cr@p at the hospital.  Otherwise, DH would have to take her home right away.  DH agreed.  While in the hospital recovering, my DD told me that she wanted mommy to get her a specific movie, and I happily told her that I would get it for her the next day.  That next day my SIL came up to see my DD and gave her the exact movie.  She said that this one was from GM.  I was furious, not at the fact that she had gotten the movie, but the principle behind it.  Again, she is not her mom, she is GM!  She asked "Mommy" to get it for her.  I wanted to throw up.  Again, GM is the great hero and mom is just pushed aside.

When my DD stays the night at my MIL's house, my MIL has to give my DD meds.  MIL has been advised, over and over again, NOT to give my DD bubble baths (DD has kidney problems).  I called one time and one of the family members said that my MIL had my DD in a bubble bath!  YES, a bubble bath!  An infection could kill my child, and she deliberately went against STRICT Dr.'s orders!  I had every intention to get her that moment, but my DH and I had an argument over it, and he made me feel guilty.  So I did nothing, which I would never let slip by again, I assure you!

This past spring my DD wanted to get her hair cut short.  I agreed.  DD said that she wanted to donate her hair to "locks of love", which I thought was so great because she was only 4 at the time.  That night she was going to stay over at my MIL's house.  Both of my children had haircuts, and then I took DD to MIL's.  As soon as we walked through the door all I heard was, "Oh my GOD!  What did you do to her hair?!  Oh, and I just hate his haircut!"  Yes, a loving grandmotherly response to a 4 and 2 year old.  I had to reassure both of my kids that their hair was beautiful and great.  The next day I picked up my DD and she was mad at me.  I didn't know why.  When we got home, I asked her to go show her GP her new haircut.  She burst into tears, screaming at me that I had ruined her hair!  This went on for a week until my DH got mad and told her that mommy did not ruin her hair, and asked her who had told her that.  She said. "GM told me that mommy ruined my hair!  And it's ugly!"  I was beyond furious!  I called and she never returned my phone call, so I decided to stay away from her until I got myself under control.

I invited her last month to DD's school trip to a pumpkin patch.  My MIL insisted on buying each of the kids a pumpkin, which was fine, and she did just that.  She was fine that day, but as we took a walk around the farm she spotted some small pumpkins and bent down and started pulling them from the vines.  I watched her, and so did my children, as she began stuffing them into her purse!  YES, she was stealing right in front of my kids!  She overstuffed her purse then she moved on to loading her coat pockets!  Unbelievable!  She looked at me and said "Oh, I guess this isn't such a good thing in doing this right in front of them."  Then, on the hay ride, she was telling me about her neighbor and said that he was a "dumb M*****F*****".  The wagon was full of children and parents!  Did I mention that my DD goes to a Christian Preschool?  I told my DH, and it made him angry, too.

Granted, if that is not enough right there, my FIL, her DH, lives with DH and me.  He is disabled, and we take care of him.  My DH has two other siblings, but they do nothing to help us with their father.  This has been an issue for a while.  My MIL and SIL, along with their immediate family, have all pretty much made me out to look like I am so horrible and overly sensitive about certain things that happen.  They have accused me of not disciplining my children because I choose not to yell and scream at them or beat their behinds for every little thing, and that I am lazy, etc.  Personally, how can you be lazy when you have all of this responsibility? Come on!  Besides, my MIL is the one who has been collecting unemployment for the last year or so.  In the spring of this year I once again found out that my DH has continued to be unfaithful.

My aunt was dying from breast cancer, and we lost her a few months ago.  On the day that she passed I was supposed to go to a family baby shower.  I was too upset, so I sent the gift and stayed home.  Family members told me that MIL had said that I was only trying to get attention and that I really wasn't all that upset about my aunt.  She continually rolled her eyes whenever anyone would ask about how I was doing.  The nerve of this damn woman!

Well, that was IT!  From holding in everything for the last seven years and her not knowing about my DH cheating again, etc., it was time to lay the law down!!!  And that is what I did.  I sat down and wrote her the most blunt, honest and clever letter that I had ever written anyone in my life.  I shoved it in her mailbox, along with the visual proof of her little boy's dirty little deeds, and drove off.  One week later she called me and apologized to me for everything.  She had stressed that my DH had lied to her about what he was really doing, and he had lied about things in our marriage.  She willfully admitted that she had been hateful and spiteful to me because of his lies.  I calmly told her that even so, she is still ultimately responsible for her actions and words.  After this she has pretty much been pleasant to be around.  However, I do not trust her, nor do I EVER TURN MY BACK on her.  I have a feeling that this hateful mentality of hers is sadly not over yet.  And even though I am working on trying to keep my marriage together, it is going to take a lot of prayers and a lot of FORGIVING on my end!

        Signed - Tired Of Dealing With It All!
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