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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 5, 2007
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DECEMBER
2006
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JANUARY
2007
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MIL is a very nice woman,
but she is exhausting. She has had numerous medical conditions
throughout the 12 years I've known her, and all are described in
detail to us, over and over. So far, these are the problems she's
had. Fibromylosia, severe lower back pain, arthritis, tartive disconesia,
parkinsoma, osteoporosis, breast reduction, jaw wired shut to treat
her jaw pain, top teeth pulled for dentures, retina problems, edema,
frontal lobe dementia (from which she says she recovered), depression,
prescription drug addiction and rsd. Even her kids don't want to
listen to her. We suspect she does all this for attention, but
the medical interventions are themselves causing her medical problems.
Her latest thing is seeing a retina surgeon and convincing him that
she needs a vitractomy. That's a procedure to take eye fluid out,
replace it with something else, and supposedly remove scar tissue
that is growing over her retina. The fibromyalsia and lower back
pain mysteriously went away after 20 years of her abusing prescription
narcotics. She broke her wrist one winter and now she has rsd,
which means she has severe pain and had two medical appliances implanted
to stimulate her spine. One stimulator is for her legs, and one
is for her arms. Of course, she can never go away from home for
long because she has to recharge her stimulators. When her children
were younger, she convinced a doctor that their legs were curving
and that surgery was necessary to correct this. The older son had
the condition and the surgery. She convinced the doctor to operate
on my DH when he was a teen just in case. The surgery involved
breaking his legs below the knee and inserting metal pins. The
recovery was excruciating. Of course, every one of her children
had a major issue. She convinced the pediatrician that my DH had
allergies when he was a baby, and had him on a special diet. The
oldest child had depression, the second oldest had control issues,
the middle child was autistic, the second youngest was hyperactive,
and the youngest was supposedly developmentally delayed. In reality,
the real issues from oldest to youngest were: Frustration with
mom's medical drama, resistance to unnecessary medical procedures,
constant comparison to his older brother's abilities that weren't
realistic, lots of energy that needed to be burned off while in
doctor's offices and bored out of his mind. The youngest didn't
have to do much for herself because her four older siblings did
everything for her. All the kids eventually grew up just fine,
but with the scars of the medical mania from their mother. And
it's good to know that the middle child is not autistic! So that's
my MIL. DH was the 4th child and still has tons of energy. All
of the kids just turn a deaf ear to MIL's problems. Any conversation
we have turns into talk about MIL's "serious" medical
issues. No one can get a word in edgewise because MIL does all
the talking. Every topic reminds her of her medical stories which
bring attention back to her. When MIL's birthday passed recently,
DH didn't call her. I tried to get him to at least wish her a happy
birthday, but he said that he couldn't, as he was worn out from
the medical issues. When I had each of our three children, there
was always some crisis that prevented her from being there to visit.
Even my talk about the birth with my SILs got interrupted because
MIL had to interject her own story and then I even forgot what I
was saying. It's frustrating. MIL is also not there for her GC
when they need her. Birthdays, baptisms, first communions, etc.,
are all forgotten because MIL is not feeling up to it or has a medical
issue.
Signed - Brontegirl
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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On New Year's Day my MIL,
whom both my DH and I are reasonably close to, had what I can only
term "an episode". We were asked to arrive at an appointed
time and were running late (playing with our new nephew and visiting
my parents). So, my DH called her at 5 minutes (5!) after the appointed
time to tell her that we were running late and would be there shortly.
When she answered the phone, she was in tears, saying that we never
spend any time with her and my FIL anymore (this, after we spent
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day with them). When we
arrived only 20 minutes later (25 minutes after appointed time),
she was still in tears. DH was appalled and now is feeling pressure
to see her more often than we already do (approx once or twice every
2 weeks, as we live more than an hour away and I work out of town
during the week). Now, I understand that there is a bit of manipulation
going on here (probably subconsciously), but I am worried. My SIL
and BIL are expecting a new baby (my MIL's first grandchild) shortly,
and we all wonder if this was some sort of response to the reality
that suddenly the new baby will be the center of attention. My
FIL has also recently had some heath issues and the crying jag may
have been the result of worry over him. Whatever the case, I am
concerned because now my DH feels a need to talk to her even more
often than the 2 or so times a day he already does, and to see her
more often, though he is terribly busy with work. I know that his
mother's reaction is already causing him stress and will likely
cause him more in the weeks ahead. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Should we just talk about the issues openly? Will my MIL even admit
what the problem really is? It certainly was not that we were 25
minutes late in coming to see her. Any thoughts or suggestions
would be really appreciated.
Signed - Confused!
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Worst gift: DH and I
haven't had much dealings with his family since SIL and I literally
fought over her accusations of me driving a wedge between DH and
MIL. Actually, MIL and FIL's non payment of rent to DH was driving
the wedge, but why accept responsibility when there is me to blame?
I convinced DH to get his parents a gift for Xmas, not knowing that
I would be forced into going along with him to deliver it. SIL
lives with them since being kicked out of our house. It took me
10 minutes to talk myself into getting out the car. I felt as if
I were going into the Lion's Den. But I did it for DH's sake, to
present a united front. MIL was so happy and surprised that we
got them a gift. She hugged him and went on and on. She kept saying
how happy she was to see him ---- and me. I was SO ready to go.
SIL stayed in "her" room the entire time. That was a
Christmas gift in itself! MIL went on and on about this great gift
that BILs were getting for DH. His birthday is 2 days after Christmas.
It was supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread. DH's birthday
came and went. Finally, on Saturday she called to say that they
were coming to bring the gift. I was on my way out the door and
wasted no time in leaving. I was going to do some post Christmas
shopping for DH and myself. Fast forward a 1/2 hour later. Who
do I run into at the store? MIL, FIL and BIL. MIL repeatedly asked
what I was buying, and then proceeded to tell me that they were
looking for a gift for DH and me. HMMMMM. What happened to DH's
birthday gift? When I returned, DH informed that they had bought
him a gift similar to the one I had given him two years ago, only
less expensive. And the gift for me, you ask? Kitchen rugs.
Signed - Gotta Love 'Em
( respond to this story )
( I can top this )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives