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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
February 24, 2007
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JANUARY
2007
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FEBRUARY
2007
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Just a note to everybody
on what's new in my life. On Friday night DH and I had our first
night out with friends without DS. We went to a concert. About
7:30 I got to my seat. It was between shows. I TM'd SIL #1 to
ask how DS was. In my head I was picturing her holding him on the
couch, sitting next to her BF and watching TV, with my dog sleeping
in his chair on the other side of the room. Instead, she said that
he was fine until the entire family showed up. Picture it: 1 crying
baby surrounded by 1 GM, 2 aunts, 3 cousins, and my crazy dog running
circles around all of it. DS should have been in bed. So, I was
mad. I was mad for 3 reasons. 1: They came at bedtime. Everybody
knows that DS goes to bed at 8. I was up from 3 o'clock with him
because he didn't get his normal, peaceful bedtime routine. Then,
I had to go to work the next day. Not cool! 2: They came uninvited
and unannounced. MIL knew that DH and I were going out for the
evening. Why would she go to someone's house when they were not
home? It was so rude. It's been 9 years. It's no secret that
they don't like me. They have always just tolerated me because
of DH. If they wanted to come over but didn't want to see me, then
they should have come when I was at work and DH was home. That
happens every Saturday and Sunday. Don't make it a plan to show
up when we leave and think that we won't find out. That was so
ignorant. To me, it was an invasion of privacy. I think that pissed
me off more than anything. 3. Water. Water has been an issue
since DS was 2 days old. The doctors have all told me that babies
don't need water, and that I should not to give it to him. When
our friend's father passed away, my SIL watched DS so we could go
to the funeral. When we went to pick him up, she said that her
and my MIL gave him a little water because he had the hiccups.
"No big deal," I very nicely said, "The Dr. said
not to give him water." Then, a few days later, I was talking
about it with my MIL and I nicely explained to her that the Dr.
said, "No water." About 2 weeks ago, when I was working,
MIL and SIL #1 stopped over and DH went out to shovel the driveway.
MIL said that DS had gas, so she gave him water. I was pissed when
I found this out, so I emailed her articles on why babies should
not have water. I was still trying to be nice at this point. Then,
SIL #1 told me that she tried to give him water AGAIN on Friday
night. How many times does she have to be told not to do something
before she stops?! I flipped out. I was so pissed that I could
shoot flames out of my nose! It's not the fact that she gave him
water, it probably doesn't hurt him. It's the fact that they were
undermining my mothering. If I can't trust them with something
as simple as water, how in the world would I ever trust them with
more important things down the road? I sent an email to all involved.
I sent an email because if I had called them, I would have said
things that I would have regretted later. In the email I wasn't
very nice, but I had finally had enough of them trying to push me
around. I explained the bedtime routine. I explained how I was
uncomfortable with all those people in my house when DH and I weren't
home. And, I explained the whole water thing. I titled the email
"Nonnegotiable", because they don't ever seem to take
me seriously about anything. It was such an uphill battle when
I was trying to plan our wedding and trying to figure out holidays
as a newly married couple. And it is again with everything with
DS. They always try to change my mind about everything, instead
of just leaving me alone with my thoughts and ideas. Even when
I was decorating my house they kept trying to tell me what colors
to paint the walls. HELLO! I HAVE AN ART DEGREE! I think I know
color! I'm just sick of their bullying. I got a response from
SIL #2 saying that I don't have to worry about her and her family
anymore because they're out of our lives for good. Then, I started
getting them from GMIL, saying that I was out of line and that she
isn't sending DS anymore cards, blah blah blah. I thought it was
childish to even involve the GMIL. She had nothing to do with it,
and is an old woman with high blood pressure. That's all she needed.
Then, I got another email from SIL #2 telling me that I'm not to
buy birthday presents for her girls because they don't want me in
their lives, and basically saying that she doesn't want me to ever
come around her and her family because I'm evil. She was pissed
because I didn't send her a picture of DS. The only people I sent
DS's picture to was the GPs. Excuse me, but I don't have any current
pictures of SIL #2's girls. The last time I sent her a picture
of DS via email, they took a picture of her DH in the same position,
with his shirt off and hands up, looking all scared, and then sent
it out. I figured that if they were going to make fun of my son,
I was not giving them anymore ammunition. I don't know if they're
mad because I married their brother/son and took him away. It's
not like we moved to another state! We live literally 5 minutes
away from his sister. If I hadn't married him, somebody else would
have and they would have had to put up with all this bullsh!t.
If he wasn't such a great guy, I would have been gone a long time
ago. For a bunch of people who say they are so family oriented,
they sure are quick to write people off for having a different opinions
than their own. Nobody already talks to anybody else in that family.
They're going to run out of bridges to burn. I'm not going to apologize.
I don't feel that I've done anything wrong. I've let them push
me around for too long. I've given up my Christmas traditions so
that I could be a part of theirs. I've been present with DH for
every birthday and holiday, leaving my family on the holidays, and
I refuse to compromise on anything when it comes to DS and his routines.
So, I'm banished from the family. I'm not allowed to see my nieces,
which hurts me the most. From the way GMIL was talking, I'm not
wanted there either. At least I still have SIL #1. All of this
because I asked for structure and routine in my own house.
Signed - Banished From
The Family
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Working Women Don't Have Wives