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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 15, 2008
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DECEMBER
2007
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JANUARY
2008
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I finally met and married
the man of my dreams, and his mom. Seriously, I had dated a guy
for a few years and his mom did not like me. Then, I dated a guy
who I DID NOT WANT TO MARRY, but I LOVED HIS MOM AND WHOLE FAMILY.
Then, I met the perfect match. Unfortunately, his mom turned on
me as soon as we became engaged. She was unable to come to the
engagement party. She missed showers, and gave us a (and I am not
selfish or greedy at all, nor do I expect extravagant gifts, etc.)
$5 wedding gift. She made snide comments about my ring, inferring
that it was just too big of a diamond (evidently, she thought it
was a waste of money, but FDH picked it out). "Well, that
ring is big enough to choke a horse!" I could go on for days.
Anyway, I kept trying to make nice with her. I had a dinner party
for the family after our honeymoon, and I remembered her on her
birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, Christmas, and other little
holidays with little goodies, etc. This went on for years. She
just was not very nice to me, but I let it go and continued to be
kind. When DH and I announced to his mother that we were having
our first child; she replied, "Don't expect me to watch it."
It was very hurtful. Four years later, when we were expecting our
second child; my 4 year old DD made the announcement by saying;
"I am going to be a big sister." Her response to this
was, "Oh no, not another one." Moments later, we all
went downstairs to her den and she said to my DH, "Well, she
just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and you keep getting thinner
and thinner." He STUPIDLY said, "Five more pounds and
I am at my fighting weight." I wanted to KILL him. I ignored
the comment and continued to be polite. That was when I decided
that I did not have to really go around her much anymore. Ten weeks
after the birth of our second child, DH (36 years old) had a heart
attack. It was very traumatic for our family. As he lay on the
table in the ER, I asked if he wanted me to call his mom. He said,
"No (it was midnight)." A nurse gave me a very solemn
look and said, "CALL HIS MOM." I called, and she came
with one of her DD. We were there till 4:00 AM. He made it through
a stent procedure, which was harrowing. The doctors kept coming
in the waiting room and telling me that it was "BAD, VERY BAD".
It was not good at all. He was admitted to CCU. I went home to
feed the baby, and 2 hours later the doc called again telling me
that the stents did not take, and that they had to go back in.
I got dressed and rushed back to the hospital. I called his mom
again. He did okay, and I had go rush back home to feed the baby.
At 9:00 AM his mom called me and said that she could not go to the
hospital to visit him that night, as she was exhausted. She was,
however, sending her attorney so that he could sign papers. I said,
"OKAY." After I hung up the phone, I started thinking
that he is in CCU, he is not doing very well, and she is sending
an attorney. He will think that he is going to DIE. That was not
something I wanted him thinking. I wanted him to have hope that
he could get through this. I called her back and told her this.
She said that it would be okay, and that she would talk to him.
It said, "NO, I just don't want an attorney to see him in the
CCU." Then I flat out said, "CALL IT OFF." It was
the first time I ever made a demand on her. I felt a bit strange,
but I was protecting MY HUSBAND. The attorney did not go to CCU.
The doctors told us that my husband would be disabled for life,
which meant that we had no income. I had quit my little part time
job after having our second child. I wondered what we would do.
Many things happened over the next few days, and she was there every
morning for a few hours to see him. We spent a lot of time in the
waiting room together, waiting for CCU visitation. She mentioned
having the attorney come almost every day. Then, I asked her why
an attorney needed to come to see him. She said that he had to
sign some papers. It seems that she was selling two of the family
houses, and needed his signature. DH's father had died 2 years
prior, and his will stated that if she sold property, the children
would get their money up front from the sale. In other words, we
would get a chunk of money from the sale of 2 houses that she was
selling. She did not tell me this. AN ATTORNEY FRIEND OF MINE
CHECKED OUT HIS DAD'S WILL IN PUBIC RECORDS. A few days later,
when she was mentioning this again, I said, "Oh, well, how
long will it be before my husband gets his inheritance?" She
LAUGHED and said, "HE WON'T GET ANYTHING. MY HUSBAND LEFT
EVERYTHING TO ME." It was a lie. I then said that I did not
know what we were going to do. SHE said, "YOU NEED TO LEARN
HOW TO SCRIMP AND SAVE." I was so hurt and offended. Well,
one day after he left the hospital (he was there for 29 days), she
got a hold of him and she, the attorney and his 3 sisters came into
our home and coerced him to sign the papers and give his rights
to his inheritance away. He did it. I tried to explain, as delicately
as possible, the truth to him, but he was just not himself. Neither
he nor I wanted to cause/make any waves in light of his present
physical condition. It was at that point that I decided, for my
own preservation, to cut ties with his family. He could go, bring
the children, and do whatever he wanted regarding his family of
origin, but I really needed to stay away. It remained this way
for quite some time. Then, I started going around when she got
ill. I tried to build a relationship with her again, but to no
avail. This went on for 3 years, and she recently died - ON HALLOWEEN.
She must have not liked that I was a content and cheerful person,
who made her son a happy man. We have a wonderful life together
with our two DDs. I am so blessed to have him ALIVE and well after
those horrific days 7 years ago. I thank God every day. MY wish
for all DILs is to not get caught up in the ugliness of a MIL.
It changes you too much, and you can become bitter. Just be kind
and support your DH. Perhaps you could agree to disagree, but get
along for the sake of all parties.
Signed - Let's Get Along
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Working Women Don't Have Wives