|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
January 18, 2008
|
|
|
|
|
DECEMBER
2007
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JANUARY
2008
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
First of all, let me say
that this website has been a sort of therapy for me. I realize
that I'm not alone in my never-ending struggle against the madness
called MIL. I am a young newlywed. DH and I knew, within a week
after we met, that we were going to be together for the rest of
our lives. My parents met him and loved him. With my parents,
that is quite an achievement. Soon, it was my turn to meet his
parents. He had told me all sorts of stories about my FMIL. To
cut this short, she is certifiably bipolar. She refuses to get
therapy. When it is mentioned, she threatens to kill herself, saying,
"If I'm that messed up, I should just end it now." While
I am generally easygoing and can get along with almost anyone, this
made me wary. SO, the day came and we met them for dinner. Everyone
was so nice, and I began to think that maybe DH exaggerated. MAN,
WAS I WRONG! Soon after our first meeting, we decided to visit
them at home. It was a summer's weekend, and the SIL had brought
her BF over as well. We (not MIL and FIL) swam a little, and so
far the day was enjoyable. We went back inside. MIL was watching
the news channel (the only channel she watches) and FIL was taking
a nap. MIL kept asking us if we were hungry, and we said, "No,"
seeing that we woke up late and had a big breakfast. Within 30
minutes she asked us 7 more times. Each time we said, "No."
All of a sudden, she got up and started screaming, "WELL, I
WANT SOME G** D*** F*** pizza! She blew up at SIL and started screaming
at her for not cooking it because she wanted some (and failed to
mention that)! Then, she started yelling at me and SIL's BF saying,
"You just come in here and judge me like that! You don't know
anything!" We were just sitting there, petrified. What was
I supposed to say? She went into her bedroom and woke up FIL.
She started to yell at him about us. Now, let me tell you that
FIL, SIL, and DH are used to this kind of behavior, to the point
that it is normal for them, and that they take it with a grain of
salt. But, my family has never screamed at me (except those stupid
sister fights), even when I did really stupid stuff. They would
be stern, but they never raised their voices, and never cussed at
me. I kept quiet for the rest of the visit, even though she flipped
back to her normal side. Although this isn't my worst encounter,
it shows you how easily she gets crazy. This would be my first
of many to come. I know that since our visit she called DH and
told him how mean I was to her, and other stuff (you know, the typical
cr@p MIL's makes up). After three months of knowing each other,
we got engaged. Of course, she acted happy about it, but the mean
calls still continued. DH told her off so many times, but she never
stopped. We started to talk about wedding plans, and realized that
neither of our parents could help us out at the moment, and we didn't
want to wait two years to get married. Fortunately, DH had a nice
stash set aside, so we wouldn't have to worry. Even so, we would
have to keep it small. At first, it was going to be close family
and a few select friends. After awhile, I could feel the resentment
coming from MIL. Every time we visited, it got worse. So, at the
end I asked DH if it could be just us two. I knew that if I had
a wedding without inviting her, she would never let DH hear the
end of it, and she would make us miserable at every chance she got.
He completely understood why, and agreed. He promised me that if
I ever regretted not having a big wedding, we could do it all over
again as a vow renewal. It was a bittersweet kind of thing. While
my parents knew the circumstances and were sad about it, they agreed
that it was probably best. It still kind of makes me sad to think
that everyone else missed out because she would have caused a scene.
We were soon married. We honeymooned, and life went on. We live
1 1/2 hours away from the ILs, but sometimes it isn't far enough.
We visited and they visited, and she would still go crazy here and
there. I learned how to ignore it and bite my tongue. Her second
to worst outburst happened at our house. DH was complaining about
working conditions at his job. MIL piped in, saying that if DH
worked where FIL worked, we wouldn't be having this problem. DH
had tried previously to get a job where FIL worked, but they turned
him down. Now I am so happy they did. At the time that he applied
I didn't know MIL, and if he had gotten the job, that would have
put us too close to bear. DH tried to reason with her, saying,
"The company didn't want me," and, "We couldn't afford
to move, if we wanted to." This got worse, and she started
yelling at him about how, "We didn't pay for you to go to college
to work somewhere else." She would let us live with her for
how ever long it took for him to get a job there (like he!! that's
happening while I'm alive). DH still remained calm, and told her
that he wasn't just considering himself, I had a job here as well.
Then she retorted, "Well, if she was a GOOD wife, she would
give up her career for her husband!" First of all, she has
been a housewife her entire life. She has never had a career to
speak of. I kept my mouth shut. We agreed that we would deal with
our own parents, as to not cause too much tension. At this point,
my blood was boiling, and I was fighting to stay in control. Thank
God my mom called, because I had something that she really needed.
I left really fast to meet her and my dad, and it was nice to hear
them console me. I went back with a smile on my face, and by the
time I got back, the argument had ended. That was a while back,
but like everything else, it took her awhile to let up her point
of view. The most recent argument took place on New Year's Eve/Day
at the IL's place. We were playing a game right before the ball
dropped, and during a quick restroom break it was just MIL, SIL
and me. Out of nowhere she said, "You know, DH could get any
girl he wanted." I just shot her a look and said, "Thanks?"
I got up and left to find DH. I told him what she said, but decided
not to dwell on it, since she was drunk and I didn't want to start
out the new year with an argument. The night ended soon after the
ball dropped. I woke up the next morning, first one out of bed.
DH got up just a bit later. I started to cook breakfast. By the
time I was done, almost everyone was up and about, except MIL.
Breakfast was done cooking, and I was still restless, so I started
to pack all of our stuff up and got it ready to go. I was dressed
and was finishing shutting the last bag when DH came into the room
and said, "We're leaving." I was confused because we
were suppose to stay longer, but I got the bag and started heading
to the door. I saw MIL yelling at him, something about, "What
she has done", and, "You'll see." I looked around,
bewildered, and the rest of the family was looking busy for the
sake of staying out of it. We left, and I asked him what happened.
He said that MIL called him into her room, all dramatic, and said
to sit down. She told him that this was very important. Then she
preceded to say that she meant what she said last night about, "He
could have any girl he wanted". DH told her that it was a
terrible thing to say to me, and that he didn't care what she thought.
GO BABY! She didn't leave it at that. She started saying that
I was a bad person and I would leave him as soon as I could find
another. She felt that I was being rude and mean to her the entire
time I was there, and on and on, with all sorts of slander. He
told her that I was a part of the family now, and that she was going
to have to deal with my so called attitude. She retorted with,
"Well, it won't be that much longer," or something to
that effect. He told her that she was either going to stop bad
mouthing me or we were going to leave. That's when he came to get
me to go. I love my DH, and anyone who knows us (besides MIL and
now FIL, cause she's made him take her side) says that we were meant
for each other (even my whole side of the extended family). I have
never been exposed to this kind of behavior. I feel like I'm dealing
with a bratty kid who can't get their way!
Signed - Is This The
Way It's Always Going To Be?! It's Only Been A Year!
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
will be posted as early as our resources will allow. Responses
to new stories will be handled via a link to the Daily Story Page Responses
Forum.
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives