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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 27, 2008
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DECEMBER
2007
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JANUARY
2008
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Some women have really
terrible stories that poison their family happiness. I've been
married for more than 2 years, and my relationship with my ILs started
off fairly well. However, as time flows I see potential problems.
So, please read and advise. My DH is the only son, extremely introverted,
and his mother was practically the only woman in his life until
we got married when he was 27. He was painfully shy and befriended
older women, some of them were his mom's friends. So, his parents
were worried about his ability to form relationships, and were very
happy when I came to his life. From the very first day I did my
best to form a warm relationship with my ILs. My own mother passed
away when I was 16, and my father has another family, so I started
calling my ILs "Mom" and "Dad". I found every
excuse to send them gifts (we live on different coasts), post cards,
call them to say, "Hi", etc. My DH was even jealous about
how often I talked with his mom. Then, I started noticing that
whatever I did makes my MIL upset. Both my ILs are verbally nice
to me, but the vibe is always there, and sometimes MIL drops eloquent
looks at me, drilling me with her eyes. If she asks a question
and I answer, she's unhappy because she wants her son to answer
to her, not me. When I try to keep myself busy and not engage in
conversations, she's unhappy that I'm "ignoring" her,
etc. DH's display of affection towards me makes her nervous. She
monopolizes a conversation, and if DH looks at me, she'll stop talking.
Last Christmas, when we were visiting, she walked into our bedroom
and handed my DH a small doll with huge breasts and pink removable
underwear. This year, she suggested that the three of us go to
a nudist beach. FIL sends my DH porn jokes by e-mail, and it creeps
me out. I understand that it hurts her to see her "boy"
(as she calls him) paying attention to another woman, but he's a
married adult! Shall I not go visit them and let my DH go on his
own? Of course, she'd be unhappy that I "ignore" her.
Then they started contacting us every Sunday for an internet based
free video-chat. I was excited at first, but it turned out to be
practically unbearable. It's always about their life and my DH's
achievements. Just once my MIL asked me a question about my work.
She probably tried to be polite, but she asked it in a denigrating
tone, with an obvious lack of interest in her voice. I'm a working
professional with a Master's Degree. I achieved everything myself
in life. I feel like they're underestimating me and refuse to acknowledge
me. Also, because it's free and they have a lot of time, they can
ramble about nothing for hours. Because of the time difference,
they usually finish at about 11:30 pm or midnight our time. So,
I don't know how to build my relationship with my MIL further.
The ILs live their own life. They plan to retire in 10 years, sell
all of their possessions and live on the boat, like some of their
friends do. They never ask about our life plans. I'm afraid that
they do not care whether or not we have children. Once, I mentioned
that we're planning to buy a condo (we've been renting so far),
and that irritated my MIL. She often gives us her old stuff as
gifts - stuff that she would have otherwise gotten rid of. I like
old things, but her gifts are, at the very least, inconsiderate.
For example, she has given me her old clothes (she's 5"1 and
I'm 5"8 - although we're the same size, they are obviously
too short for me) and a 10-year old camera that never worked. Some
time ago, when we asked them whether or not they wanted us to have
a wedding reception (we already had a civil ceremony only for just
two of us), they said, "You're already 21. Do whatever you
want." MIL talked about different ideas for our wedding gift,
but eventually gave us nothing. Do you think that I'm being childish
and have unrealistic expectations regarding my ILs? Since I'm not
their DD, will they ever be truly attentive and considerate of me?
Should I stop trying to become closer with them, and be concerned
solely about me and my DH? My DH and I have a very sweet relationship,
and I wouldn't want the "in-laws component" to hurt it
in the future.
Signed - Would Love to
Hear Your Advice - Thanks!
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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My FMIL is just too much,
sometimes. Basically, this woman hates me because I am the only
one not afraid of her bark. Last week, she came over to our house
and the 3 of us had a nice dinner. When we were sitting in the
dining room having some coffee, DF started talking about his bad
habit of being messy. He said that he is trying to be less messy
for me, because he knows how it bothers me. FMIL burst out with,
"You shouldn't change anything for her. She is just over reacting
and being over sensitive." I said, "Excuse me."
I got up from the table, grabbed her cup and said, "I think
that it is about time you leave MY HOME." I really don't know
if it was the right thing to do, but anyone who knows me knows that
I am not over sensitive. I am usually the one who keeps my cool
really well. But, when she did that, I just wanted to scream at
her. I don't usually react to her and her stupid comments, but
she just went way too far that time.
Signed - Yikes
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Worst gift: Every year,
for Christmas, MIL and FIL get me absolutely nothing. However,
I do get to watch everyone else open their gifts. They get some
really nice stuff.
Signed - At Least I Don't
Have To Send A Thank You Card
( respond to this story )
( I can top this )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives