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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
February 18, 2008
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JANUARY
2008
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FEBRUARY
2008
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- ClassyLass, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 18-FEB-08
Thank goodness for this site. It has saved me from the black abyss
of nowhere this past month. I thought it was time to share my own
MIL stories. I'll start with the most recent thing that has really
been eating at me. I am seven months pregnant with our first child
(and the first GC on both sides). I am extremely close to my mother.
She is the person I turn to for a sympathetic ear. My whole family
knows how my ILs are, and they do their best to be kind. They constantly
remind me to be kind and understanding (much better than I am in
the heat of the moment). My MIL has bugged us about GC since DH
and I got married. However, we agreed to wait five years before
having children. She knew this, but still bothered us. GMIL was
very understanding, and agreed with us. Once MIL heard this she,
of course, avidly agreed - when GMIL was around. So, we are finally
expecting our first child. My mother asked what we would like to
do for a baby shower. DH and I talked openly with her about what
we'd like to do, and she offered to throw it for us. We happily
agreed. She pretty much has let DH and me plan the whole thing,
but she has paid for everything and made all the arrangements.
About five months into my pregnancy, my MIL started asking about
the shower. I told her that we wanted something small (she has
a habit of making a production about everything - I will go into
that later). I then told her that DH and I had already talked to
my own M about the shower, and she was handling it. She didn't
say anything, and we all continued on our merry way. Six months
in, she pulled out my registry at dinner one night and began going
into all the things that we didn't register for. "You didn't
register for a bouncer. [DH's name] loved his bouncer when he was
a baby." That's great, but DH and I walked up and down the
aisles of the store and we agreed that we didn't want a bouncer.
I told her as much, and she huffed and said that we need to register
for one. She then proceeded to talk about the other stuff that
we were not registered for. I was sure that we had registered for
some of the items, and told her as much. I looked at her list,
but they weren't there. After some investigation after dinner,
I found that she had only printed part of the list. A month later,
the shower issue came up again. She said, "How many people
are WE having at the shower?" I ignored the "we",
and said, "DH and I agreed that we only want thirty."
That's a huge number to both of us, but we know she likes a lot
of people. We had already relayed that info to my M, and had picked
out invitations, favors, cake, etc. My MIL then proceeded to say
that that's not enough people, and said, "Are you sure you
don't want two showers?" I told her, "No." This
had happened for the wedding shower, and I did not want to go through
that again (more to come). Two weeks later, my M did up the invitations
and they were beautiful. We called MIL and asked her how many she
needed. She then proceeded to negotiate the invitation count with
us. We all finally agreed that she got seventeen (though she knows
three will not show - I can only imagine who she's inviting now).
We did not want a bunch of people we didn't know at the shower.
However, she threw a fit, and we compromised. My M, being kind,
as always, dropped off the invitations at MIL's house, but MIL wasn't
home. So, she dropped them in the agreed spot. A few days later,
my M got a phone call. She told me that she wasn't going to answer,
but it was from the school, so she thought something was wrong with
my brother (who is a senior). No, it was MIL (who is a teacher
at the school). Without salutation she launched in and told my
M how disappointed she was with the invitations. My M thought that
she printed the wrong date or gave the wrong address, and started
freaking out. Finally, she found out that MIL was "disappointed"
because MIL's name wasn't on the invitation as a hostess. She went
off on my M and said many hurtful things to her. My M has never
been anything but kind to her. Then, MIL had the NERVE to tell
my M not to tell me about the conversation. She then went on to
say, "I guess this is just something else I'll have to get
over and try not to cry about." She said something to that
extent, because my M had finally had enough and said, "Well,
you've made my daughter cry more times than I can count."
GO MOM!!! Unfortunately for MIL, my M and I are very close. She
tried not to tell me, but I could tell my M was bummed and asked
her what was going on. She finally relented and spilled the whole
story. I was mortified! The reason my M was doing all this was
so that I didn't have to deal with MIL during my pregnancy. She
begged me not to tell DH because she didn't want to cause any problems.
However, I tell DH everything, and when I got home that evening,
I spoke to him about it. Sadly, he didn't have much to say, only
the usual, "I'm sorry." I was upset, to say the least.
I told him, "It's one thing when she says this to me, but this
is my MOTHER! She has been nothing but kind to everyone."
It continued on for several days, to the point where I couldn't
sleep because I was so upset. Finally, DH agreed to call his mother
and mention the shower, and see if she said anything (we didn't
want to betray my M by confronting MIL about it). He did so, and
she didn't say a word about the fight with my M. We've let it go,
for now, but I'm paranoid that she's planning something separate
from my mom in order to get her way and her moment in the spotlight.
It hasn't been healthy for me or the baby, but, thankfully, DH has
now decided to try and intervene more on my behalf, because he sees
it eating away at me.
Signed - Frustrated and
Tired
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Fry Her TM
Page )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives