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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
December 18, 2009
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NOVEMBER
2009
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DECEMBER
2009
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I am having a difficult
time with my MIL, to say the least. Sorry for the long post, but
I have a lot to get off my chest. Luckily, DH is very supportive
of me, and easily gets annoyed with his mother. When we were dating,
MIL would call us up and want to go out to dinner, or have us come
over or something. She lived about 45 minutes away, and DH would
kind of blow her off. I would nudge him to spend more time with
his mother. After our first Christmas (as GF, BF) he told me, "You
just wait. Eventually, her real self will be revealed." This
occurred once we got engaged. DH proposed to me on a vacation to
the Bahamas. It was a complete surprise, and we agreed not to tell
anyone until we got home. Since his mother is 45 minutes away,
he called her and told her the night that we got home. She asked
if she could stop by the next morning, as she was going to be in
town. I said, "Ok." She showed up at 8 am!!! We had
just gotten home from a 2 week trip the night before. Luckily,
I was up, but had just gotten out of the shower. I was still in
a robe and towel. It just went downhill from there. She wanted
to have a lot to do with planning our wedding. She had all these
ideas for centerpieces, and even tried to change our decision to
have flowers on our cake. I did feel a little bad because we didn't
use any of her ideas, but the hotel that we had our reception at
provided the centerpieces for free. We just had to provide the
candles for them. She said that she had lots of votive candles
that she would like to give us. I said that would be great, as
long as they were fragrance free, as DH has bad allergies. What
did we get for Christmas as an engaged couple?? A case of scented
votive candles. They even had a receipt in them that said that
they were free with her purchase. You would think that with it
being her son, she would have realized that he couldn't be in a
room with that many scented candles. MIL also got remarried the
same year that DH and I were planning to get married. She wasn't
even planning to get married, when we got engaged. Her BF has asked
repeatedly, but she kept on turning him down. That was until we
got engaged. Then she decided that she needed to get remarried
before her son got married. When this happened, DH ended up with
three new stepsisters, who are all married with kids. We met them
all for the first time at the IL's wedding. All day long she kept
telling us how much these new family members were looking forward
to coming to our wedding. Since they all live about 5-8 hours away,
it would be a great opportunity for them to come back to the area.
Then, she said that even the kids of the new stepsisters were looking
forward to coming back for our wedding. DH and I just stared at
each other, as their names weren't on our list. We had invited
their parents, since they would be DH's new stepsisters (even though
we had never met them), but we had to take the kid's names off the
list because our venue could only hold a certain number of people.
MIL had put all their names on our list when she demanded to see
our guest list. She also informed me, on several occasions, that
the only kids whom we should have at the wedding should be the children
of brothers and sisters, and that any other kids would just ruin
our day. In the end, we sent invitations out to the new stepsister's
families a little later than everyone else's, so that we knew from
other's RSVPs that we could include their children, as well. During
MIL's wedding reception, which was very small, we were talking to
one of my DH's new stepsister's and MIL came up and said something
along the lines of, "I bet you just can't wait to come back
for their wedding." New stepsister literally had a deer-in-headlights
look and was obviously shocked that MIL had made the statement.
From that moment on, we knew that none of them had really been planning
to come to our wedding. This didn't bother us, but then we felt
bad because we didn't want them to feel obligated because of MIL's
statement. In the end, they each had family issues arise that prevented
them from coming. Now, on to my wedding day. Sadly, DH's GF passed
away just three days before our wedding. It was very hard on DH,
as he was very close to his GF. I had planned to display a memorial
picture and vase of flowers for my GM, who had passed away quite
a few years ago. Naturally, DH wanted to do this for his GF, as
well. There was a very specific picture of DH and his GF that he
wanted next to the flowers. It was actually a picture of the 2
of them that was taken earlier in the year at MIL's wedding. I
never recalled a picture of just the 2 of them, but according to
him, we had one given to us. I felt bad because he was dead set
on this specific picture, and I tore the house apart looking for
it. The next morning, I called MIL to see if she had a copy of
the picture. She told me that she knew right where all her wedding
pictures were, and would look. If she couldn't find a copy, she
would bring the disk that her photographer gave her, and we could
have a picture printed before our wedding. I was very relieved,
and so was DH, when I told him. The next AM, MIL called me and
said that she found some very nice family pictures of GF. These
pictures had been taken earlier that year when the entire family
was together (after GF had been diagnosed as terminally ill). DH
hated these pictures, as they just reminded him that his GF was
dying and that they were the last pictures ever taken of him. Even
after I told this to MIL, she insisted that we use one of those
pictures. I went on to ask about the picture that I had described
to her the night before. She said that all her wedding pictures
were in storage and she couldn't get to them. I said that this
was OK, and asked that she just bring the photographer's disk to
the hotel before the wedding, so we could make a copy. She then
informed me that the photographer never gave her a disk! WTF!!
DH was so upset that he almost drove the 3 hours one way to try
to find the picture that was supposedly in storage. I spent the
night before and morning of my wedding calling his GM and aunts
to see if they could bring pictures of his GF to the wedding a few
minutes early, so that my DH could choose one. DH had also asked
MIL to choose a mother/son song for the reception. I gave her over
a month to do this. Then, I called a few days before I actually
needed it to tell her that I needed her song choices, as I had do
give the song list to the DJ. On the day that she had been given
as her deadline, she called and said that she couldn't come up with
anything, and we should just use whatever. That sure made DH feel
important. I was soooo mad. We spent almost three hours looking
for a song. Then, the day of our wedding arrived. The night before
the wedding, a few of my bridesmaids and I stayed at the hotel where
I was getting married. MIL also stayed there, and was actually
just a few rooms down the hall. Luckily, she kept her distance.
We had a hiding room for the hours immediately before the wedding.
I had my hair and make-up done, and went down about 40 minutes before
the wedding to get into my dress. I found out that everyone had
decided to come to the hiding room (excluding DF). This included
his parents/stepparents, my parents, groomsmen, the wedding planner,
etc. Finally, about 20 minutes before the ceremony was to start,
I asked everyone, except for my mother and MOH, to leave, so that
I could get into my dress. Everyone left, but MIL stayed in the
corner of the room. My photographer, who is also a close friend,
looked at me and was kinda like, "Do you want her here?"
I responded with a, "Please make her leave," look. In
a very nice manner she then asked MIL to step outside for a minute.
MIL replied that she was OK where she was. There was a door (with
blinds) that led outside to where our ceremony was being held.
Photographer asked MIL, very nicely, to step outside and make sure
that no one came in while I was getting ready. MIL again replied
that she would be sure not to let anyone come in, as she was standing
on the inside of the door, still in the hiding room. My mother
then stepped up and said that I was very modest and would like some
privacy, blah, blah, blah. MIL replied, "I will stay right
here out of the way." I lost it and said, "No, I have
to get half naked and don't want you here." Then, one of my
bridesmaids shoved her outside. I started sobbing, 10 minutes before
I was to go down the aisle. My mom and MOH were trying to throw
my dress on me, and I was in tears. All I could think about throughout
the entire ceremony was, "How dare she." I was not close
to my MIL and had to strip down to my underwear to get into my dress.
Why did she feel that she was privileged to see that!?!
Signed - Completely Fed
Up!
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