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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
January 25, 2010
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DECEMBER
2009
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JANUARY
2010
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- The Outsider DIL/Posted: 25-JAN-10
GMIL passed away last year. After she passed, there was a firestorm
of angry relatives contacting us. They were not in touch with MIL,
for some reason, even though MIL is the one in charge of anything
GMIL related. The callers blasted us for GMIL being cremated, there
being no instant funeral service, there being no funeral home involved,
there being no place to send flowers immediately, etc. There were
also some who were really mad because they believed that they were
somehow entitled to some money, property etc. Also, they weren't
mad at MIL, they were mad at us. They acted as if we were the ones
in charge of GMIL's estate!!!! During the course of GMIL's illness,
I discovered that MIL had been telling all of the relatives (pretty
much all of them live out of state) that she was raising DS for
us. She had been saying that she was taking care of him all the
time (in addition to GMIL, whom she wasn't taking care of, as my
DH was doing that), as well as paying for everything for him. All
of this couldn't be further from the truth. I found this out about
8 months ago, just before my son turned a year old. For months,
she had been trying to act like I wasn't my child's parent, and
as if she was. She had been trying to make parenting decisions
for him without asking DH or me, etc. At this same time, SIL and
MIL had been making my wedding planning a living he!! nightmare
for over a year. I was furious. She actually had the nerve to
say this, in front of me, to an out of state relative whom she was
on the phone with!!! I was so mad that I about had to leave the
house. After GMIL passed, MIL's brother asked us to come to his
house for Thanksgiving. DH and I were not really interested, and
I had to go and do some stuff for school right around that time.
Additionally, I had been trying for the last several months to go
and see my family, as I had not been to see them in about 3 to 5
years, outside of funerals. The very last time I saw them was my
GM's funeral 3 years ago. I have been trying to get back to see
them again, but it hasn't happened. Then, GMIL got a lot worse,
so we couldn't go. GMIL passed, and we started talking about going.
Then, MIL and SIL decreed that we were all going to uncle's house
for Thanksgiving. So, we got roped into it, as it was implied that
going to see their family was more important right now (even though
my DH really didn't want to go). The whole time we were up there,
all the relatives kept looking at me and acting towards me like,
"We all know you are a lazy, good for nothing mooch and so
is your DH. And we know that (MIL) is the one who really raises
and takes care of your kid, not you." After 2 days in the
car and having his schedule all screwed up, DS was, of course, not
a happy camper. So, he was throwing hissy fits every time he didn't
get his way. We were also forced to stay with a relative who seemed
to get mad because my 18 month was doing things that a typical child
of that age does. We stopped him before any damage was done. This
relative has older children, so they should remember. I told them
that he was unhappy because his schedule was messed up. MIL and
FIL would come over periodically, just long enough to upset DS,
and usually just after I would get him calmed down. DH was sleeping
in the basement, drinking beer every night, and wouldn't get up
until 1 pm. DS was up from 8 AM because, again, his schedule was
all screwed up. I was on my own most of the time that we were at
the relative's house. DH would forget to bring in things like toys,
diapers, etc., so that I would not have them in the morning. So,
I would have to go and get them, and I had to ask the relative to
watch DS for 2 seconds so that I could run out to the car and get
X thing. This happened twice, and both times they acted like it
was the biggest imposition they had ever experienced in their life.
Prior to this, at dinner, DH's cousin's horrible children were knocking
my child down and taking his toys, along with not listening to me
when I told them to stop. When I told their dad, who is an actual
useless lump, who doesn't parent his children, he did nothing.
Everyone else acted like I was overreacting, even when these children
almost hurt my child by knocking him into the fireplace. Needless
to say, by the time we got back home, I was so generally irritated
it wasn't even funny. About 2 weeks ago, a week after we got back
from Thanksgiving, I got an email from our reception venue. MIL
had demanded to us that she be in charge of paying, after putting
the hall in my name, not hers or my husband's. It stated that if
we didn't pay our past due balance, our account would be turned
over to collections. WHAT???!!!!! I was told back in August by
both DH and MIL that this was paid. So, I emailed and very politely
asked what they were talking about. They said that they had never
received payment on any of the remaining balance due on our venue.
MIL had lied to me, again. I was furious, as I am currently unemployed
and have no way to come up with about $800 to pay this bill, plus
late fees, that I am sure have accumulated at this point. I got
a certified letter from them a few days later. DH showed this to
MIL, and she took the certified letter. I am virtually certain
that she will not pay it just so that it goes to collections and
screws my credit up. Worse, it will make it so that I won't be
able to get it straightened out until I am in, at the earliest,
my 40's. In her mind, that will make it so that she can control
our lives even more. I have determined that I am NEVER, EVER going
to do her any favors again. That includes signing things because
she "can't go and sign it". She usually needs these favors
because she spends her weekends hanging out with SIL. Speaking
of SIL, MIL was trying desperately to get me to come with her and
SIL tonight to go shopping for SIL. SIL needs to get a business
suit for her interview in a state that is several thousand miles
away. MIL has been whining and complaining about this, because
it means that, boo hoo, SIL and BIL will be moving somewhere very
far away. I know that the only reason she wanted me there was so
she and SIL could ignore me and drop my nephew on me like a glorified
nanny. I could spend the evening walking endlessly in circles with
DS and SIL's screaming son, while they hang out until the mall closes.
No thanks. Been there, done that. No thanks. MIL also thinks
that DH and I should be SIL's free on-demand 24/7 nanny service.
Wrong!!!! I am trying to find a job, and my DH just got out of
taking care of someone else's (namely MIL's) responsibility about
4 months ago. We have our own responsibilities to deal with right
now. We cannot take on someone else's responsibility. SIL has
her parents in addition to MIL and FIL. We have no one, as MIL
and FIL complain about watching our child for any amount of time,
and my parents aren't in the picture at all.
Signed - They Were Mad
At Us
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
(
I want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM
Page )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives