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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 8, 2010
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FEBRUARY 2010
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MARCH 2010
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This is the story of my ILs, and my DW and my continuing battle to stop them from destroying us.  The latest thing to happen was that, after many many months of counseling and medical help, DW finally started eating proper meals again.  This was after she developed anorexia a year back.  I was so proud of her, and she was happier - until we visited her parents.  The FIRST words out of her sister's mouth were, "You've put on a lot of weight, haven't you?"  They KNEW she'd been battling an eating disorder.  I can't think of a worse thing to say to someone who has been starving themselves for a year.

        Signed - Tired of Mental Torture
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

We recently visited my ILs.  Last year, they moved to another part of the country, so we hadn't seen them for a while.  MIL was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and is taking meds for it.  But, it is still obvious that she has memory loss, and some days are worse than others.  However, I have to say that, as sad as it was to see her this way, she was genuinely NICE to us.  The trip was all about US.  It was her priority to do what WE wanted to do.  She did not snap at us once.  She did not insist that we bow to her opinion (when choosing an activity or a restaurant, etc.).  She stocked the house with food she thought we would like.  She did not yell at me.  She bought me a few gifts (things I had admired while we were out and about).  She listened to me when I told her what was going on in my life, and said kind words.  This was one of the few times that I didn't hear, "That's life, darling," or something equally as comforting.  Additionally, she usually finds some way to blame what is happening on me, be it problems with my kids, house, job, etc.  Until this last visit, I hadn't ever heard a sympathetic word out of her mouth (towards me, at least).  I usually tried to avoid talking to her for this very reason.  But, if she got wind of what was going on, that's the response I got.  On this visit, she even went as far as to tell me that my kids were amazing, and that it all had to do with me (I guess she didn't realize she was insulting DH?)!  I couldn't help but think to myself, "Why couldn't she have been this way since day one?"  This is a woman who tried hard to break DH and me up almost 30 years ago.  She gave us he!! during our wedding planning.  As I have described, spending time with her and talking to her over the years was no picnic.  The gifts I got were thoughtless and insulting (if I was given anything at all).  If we did ask for help, she usually made it difficult for us in some way.  For example, many years ago, when I needed surgery, she said that she couldn't watch our son for the entire three day period that we requested.  Believe me, her reason (or should I say "excuse") was bogus.  She knew that we didn't want to ask my parents, as we had decided not to worry them with the news that I needed surgery.  My niece, however, had been staying with her and FIL for weeks at a time back then.  My son had NEVER been invited for more than an overnight.  She had very obviously been playing favorites with the grandchildren, and on more than one occasion she told me how strongly she felt about my niece, right to my face.  It was shocking to realize that I'd had fun visiting her and FIL, probably for the first time ever.  I've been told by others that, at this stage in the disease, this type of change in personality is normal.  Again, I just find it sad that MIL is finally enjoyable, albeit at such a devastating time in her life.  Things could have been so good between us!

        Signed - Too Little, Too Late
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )


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