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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 8, 2010
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FEBRUARY
2010
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This is the story of my
ILs, and my DW and my continuing battle to stop them from destroying
us. The latest thing to happen was that, after many many months
of counseling and medical help, DW finally started eating proper
meals again. This was after she developed anorexia a year back.
I was so proud of her, and she was happier - until we visited her
parents. The FIRST words out of her sister's mouth were, "You've
put on a lot of weight, haven't you?" They KNEW she'd been
battling an eating disorder. I can't think of a worse thing to
say to someone who has been starving themselves for a year.
Signed - Tired of Mental
Torture
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
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We recently visited my
ILs. Last year, they moved to another part of the country, so we
hadn't seen them for a while. MIL was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's
disease, and is taking meds for it. But, it is still obvious that
she has memory loss, and some days are worse than others. However,
I have to say that, as sad as it was to see her this way, she was
genuinely NICE to us. The trip was all about US. It was her priority
to do what WE wanted to do. She did not snap at us once. She did
not insist that we bow to her opinion (when choosing an activity
or a restaurant, etc.). She stocked the house with food she thought
we would like. She did not yell at me. She bought me a few gifts
(things I had admired while we were out and about). She listened
to me when I told her what was going on in my life, and said kind
words. This was one of the few times that I didn't hear, "That's
life, darling," or something equally as comforting. Additionally,
she usually finds some way to blame what is happening on me, be
it problems with my kids, house, job, etc. Until this last visit,
I hadn't ever heard a sympathetic word out of her mouth (towards
me, at least). I usually tried to avoid talking to her for this
very reason. But, if she got wind of what was going on, that's
the response I got. On this visit, she even went as far as to tell
me that my kids were amazing, and that it all had to do with me
(I guess she didn't realize she was insulting DH?)! I couldn't
help but think to myself, "Why couldn't she have been this
way since day one?" This is a woman who tried hard to break
DH and me up almost 30 years ago. She gave us he!! during our wedding
planning. As I have described, spending time with her and talking
to her over the years was no picnic. The gifts I got were thoughtless
and insulting (if I was given anything at all). If we did ask for
help, she usually made it difficult for us in some way. For example,
many years ago, when I needed surgery, she said that she couldn't
watch our son for the entire three day period that we requested.
Believe me, her reason (or should I say "excuse") was
bogus. She knew that we didn't want to ask my parents, as we had
decided not to worry them with the news that I needed surgery.
My niece, however, had been staying with her and FIL for weeks at
a time back then. My son had NEVER been invited for more than an
overnight. She had very obviously been playing favorites with the
grandchildren, and on more than one occasion she told me how strongly
she felt about my niece, right to my face. It was shocking to realize
that I'd had fun visiting her and FIL, probably for the first time
ever. I've been told by others that, at this stage in the disease,
this type of change in personality is normal. Again, I just find
it sad that MIL is finally enjoyable, albeit at such a devastating
time in her life. Things could have been so good between us!
Signed - Too Little,
Too Late
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives