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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 17, 2010
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FEBRUARY
2010
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So much has happened between
my MIL and me that the very thought of her makes me feel like vomiting.
I don't want to be in the same room as her, because it makes me
sick to my stomach, and scares me a little. I was a relatively
shy and passive person, until I gave birth to a DD almost a year
ago. That was when I began to stand up for myself. Before I had
a DD, MIL never looked for DH and me. She didn't care if we were
sick, hungry, dead, etc. On the other hand, my DPs were there for
us always. They offered us emotional, physical and financial support,
whenever we needed it. MIL and FIL didn't want to help, which I
accepted. But, they never had a kind word to say about me or my
family, even though it was my family who loved and supported their
son as if he was their own. All of a sudden, when DD came into
the picture, MIL started acting like she owned the place. She started
referring to my house as "my son's house," and felt like
she should be able to come over whenever she wanted. She also felt
that my parents shouldn't be around at all. She was constantly
calling my DH and poking at him about my parents so that we would
argue with each other. When DH stood up for me and my family, she
got really angry at him. After months of disagreements and arguments
between the ILs, DH and me, MIL decided that we were no longer on
speaking terms. But, she complains to anyone who will listen that
her DIL won't let her see her GD. My problem is that DD's birthday
is coming soon, and I feel I have to invite the ILs. If they decide
to come, I don't know if I'll be able to stomach her. I honestly
think I will be stressed and anxious, and possibly break out in
hives. How can I justify not inviting DD's GPs to her first birthday?
Signed - The Very Thought
Of Her Makes Me Feel Like Vomiting
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
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I truly need advice.
I have been married for almost 18 years to a really good man. We
have 2 wonderful children. My MIL has never liked me. I think
she faked it for a few years, because I have always been good about
sending pictures, cards, gifts. When she married her 3rd husband,
about 10 years ago, I thought things would get better, because he
is a really nice man and she was seemingly nicer with him around.
But, I guess we liked him too much, because she started telling
all the relatives (at a family wedding) that I think her husband
is stupid. Why would she want to make up something that would hurt
her hubby? She even called my DH on Christmas and asked him, "Why
does your wife think (FIL) is stupid?" DH was floored, but
basically did nothing. A pattern. So, last year, I finally had
my fill when she came to visit while DH was in Iraq. Until this
year, she has visited up to 6 times a year, usually when DH was
gone. I asked her if we could talk and try to fix things and not
let stuff fester anymore. She said, "Well, you are the one
with the problem with me." I barely scratched the surface
of my issues with her: Here are a few. She hates my FIL (her 1st
hubby). She stormed out of our wedding during his toast. She stormed
out of DS's birthday because she saw a piece of furniture in our
house that she's wanted since her divorce from FIL 35 years ago.
She said that I "think" her DH is stupid. She stopped
me and said, "I am sorry for whatever it is you think I have
done to you that I don't remember." So, I have not talked
to her in a year, because DH was deployed to a ship in the gulf
for 6 months as soon as he returned from Iraq. DS had to google
his name (same name as his dad) for a project in computer class,
and the first link that popped up was his dad's rank, name and location
in Iraq that my MIL had given to a site so they would send him soap
and such. I was livid, and I had to make all sorts of requests
to have it removed. I had truly hoped, over the years, that things
would get better, but a relative of MIL contacted me yesterday and
said that MIL emailed around that the reason my husband goes on
these deployments is to get away from me. I guess no one told her
that it is generally a job requirement for the military. I feel
really foolish as I sit here typing this, but I do not know how
to get her to leave me alone. I have tried to be nice, again, about
everything, and have still sent presents. She has stopped, not
that I care. My last gift from her was lovely and expensive, though.
I know, because I gave it to HER 2 years before she regifted it
back to me last year !!!! DH is at a loss. He says she will not
change, and that she has always done this with other relatives.
Her own relatives say that I should cut her out completely. One
said that she has been rotten since they were kids. I do not want
her around my kids because of her lies, drinking (she has been falling
down drunk in front of my kids) and manipulating. But, . . .
Signed - How Can I Get
Her To Just Leave Me Be????
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives