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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 25, 2010
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MARCH 2010
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I am the DIL who posted "She's waking up a dragon" and another follow-up story, just in case you might know them.  For those who have not read my posts, I got married 2 years ago to a man of a different nationality, and received a cold welcome from his family.  MIL gave me an engagement present of two plastic clip-on earrings in a dirty plastic bag before she even spoke to me on the phone.  She told me how wonderful DH's ex was.  She demanded that I change my religion.  I vowed to you all that I would put a stop to it and force both ILs to respect me.  I received replies ranging from insults calling me immature to rude, to DILs who told me to let it go or accept it.  WELL, guess what?  I have succeeded.  They have been in my country now for a week.  And, like I said I would, I threw the first tantrum and started screaming at the lot of them (my DH, MIL and FIL) the first time they rudely spoke their language in front of me.  I told them how rude they were, and accused them of hating me.  I could tell it shocked them.  After dinner, when MIL said that she and I should wash the dishes, I informed them all that our marriage is a western marriage, and DH better get up and help me in the kitchen RIGHT NOW, or else I would sit down and never get up.  He didn't.  So, I went and sat down until he got up.  Now my MIL sweetly tells me that SHE will wash the dishes for BOTH her children.  But, of course, I bossily tell her I will do it, and I smile.  When DH and I had a fight in front of them, his mother politely sat me down and told me that, in her country, the wife always says sorry and does what she is told.  I laughed at her to her face and told her to keep dreaming.  I informed her, politely, while smiling, that ALL men here MUST respect their wives.  Whenever someone does something wrong to me, I make them apologize, no matter what.  THEY WILL PAY FOR IT.  I glared at her, and she kissed my head.  She said that she knew I was sweet, I just wasn't showing it, and that I should.  I also was regularly pushy.  I said, "Let's go here," not, "What would you like to do?"  I gave the silent treatment often.  Regarding questions and statements about religion, I told them that I would make up MY OWN mind.  They changed their tune from wanting this and that, to not being too fussed.  Keep in mind that, whenever they were nice to me, I really went out of my way to show them that I did like them.  Good behavior has to be rewarded.  I have noticed that one of the biggest mistakes DILs on this site make is to let it all slip, let it roll down their backs, and then get upset with their DH for letting it also slip.  Be like me and scream the first time they do something.  He will realize how UPSET you are.  Then, he cannot sympathize with his mother whenever she decides to throw a tantrum.  Here's another thing that happened.  DH, MIL, FIL and I were sitting on a train.  In MIL's country, animal sacrifice is acceptable.  They laughingly showed us a video of an animal being sacrificed for religious reasons (I will not state which religion).  I nearly fainted, literally.  I felt my consciousness receding and I angrily spat, "Turn off that ******* video!" before I began to accuse MIL and FIL of being bad people in front of the whole train carriage.  Their reaction?  They adamantly spoke over each other, reassuring me that they hated it and it had NOTHING to do with their religious group at all.  The more they comforted me, the more I showed them I was listening and nodded.  Lo and behold, guess who are NOW polite and talkative people, who speak in MY language almost all the time?  Who cooks for ME and helps me to clean up?  Who does not stick their noses in our business?  And, in conclusion, I honestly have to say that since I can see that I have the upper hand, I will NOT have a problem living with them in the future, if they ever want to come to our country.  And, yes, I am sure things will stay like this.  Why?  Because they know the consequences if they don't act the way I want them to:  World War III.  So, take my advice!  Stand up on DAY ONE, or else you will kneel all your lives.  I promise that they will be the ones who are shocked and stay quiet while thinking, "Oh, I better just let her have her way or else there will be a tantrum.  Let it roll off my back."  At the same time, remember to show them that you do like them.  It does not go amiss to accuse them of not liking you, too.  In the beginning, I asked MIL if she liked me.  She gave me an acidic smile.  Now, if I look at her for a few seconds and ask, she raves adamantly on about why I ask her, and says, "OF COURSE" she does.  So, follow my lead!  Someone's got to let things ROLL off their back, and it's better her than YOU.

        Signed - The Success Story: Taming Of The MIL
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )


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