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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 25, 2010
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FEBRUARY
2010
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I am the DIL who posted
"She's waking up a dragon" and another follow-up story,
just in case you might know them. For those who have not read my
posts, I got married 2 years ago to a man of a different nationality,
and received a cold welcome from his family. MIL gave me an engagement
present of two plastic clip-on earrings in a dirty plastic bag before
she even spoke to me on the phone. She told me how wonderful DH's
ex was. She demanded that I change my religion. I vowed to you
all that I would put a stop to it and force both ILs to respect
me. I received replies ranging from insults calling me immature
to rude, to DILs who told me to let it go or accept it. WELL, guess
what? I have succeeded. They have been in my country now for a
week. And, like I said I would, I threw the first tantrum and started
screaming at the lot of them (my DH, MIL and FIL) the first time
they rudely spoke their language in front of me. I told them how
rude they were, and accused them of hating me. I could tell it
shocked them. After dinner, when MIL said that she and I should
wash the dishes, I informed them all that our marriage is a western
marriage, and DH better get up and help me in the kitchen RIGHT
NOW, or else I would sit down and never get up. He didn't. So,
I went and sat down until he got up. Now my MIL sweetly tells me
that SHE will wash the dishes for BOTH her children. But, of course,
I bossily tell her I will do it, and I smile. When DH and I had
a fight in front of them, his mother politely sat me down and told
me that, in her country, the wife always says sorry and does what
she is told. I laughed at her to her face and told her to keep
dreaming. I informed her, politely, while smiling, that ALL men
here MUST respect their wives. Whenever someone does something
wrong to me, I make them apologize, no matter what. THEY WILL PAY
FOR IT. I glared at her, and she kissed my head. She said that
she knew I was sweet, I just wasn't showing it, and that I should.
I also was regularly pushy. I said, "Let's go here,"
not, "What would you like to do?" I gave the silent treatment
often. Regarding questions and statements about religion, I told
them that I would make up MY OWN mind. They changed their tune
from wanting this and that, to not being too fussed. Keep in mind
that, whenever they were nice to me, I really went out of my way
to show them that I did like them. Good behavior has to be rewarded.
I have noticed that one of the biggest mistakes DILs on this site
make is to let it all slip, let it roll down their backs, and then
get upset with their DH for letting it also slip. Be like me and
scream the first time they do something. He will realize how UPSET
you are. Then, he cannot sympathize with his mother whenever she
decides to throw a tantrum. Here's another thing that happened.
DH, MIL, FIL and I were sitting on a train. In MIL's country, animal
sacrifice is acceptable. They laughingly showed us a video of an
animal being sacrificed for religious reasons (I will not state
which religion). I nearly fainted, literally. I felt my consciousness
receding and I angrily spat, "Turn off that ******* video!"
before I began to accuse MIL and FIL of being bad people in front
of the whole train carriage. Their reaction? They adamantly spoke
over each other, reassuring me that they hated it and it had NOTHING
to do with their religious group at all. The more they comforted
me, the more I showed them I was listening and nodded. Lo and behold,
guess who are NOW polite and talkative people, who speak in MY language
almost all the time? Who cooks for ME and helps me to clean up?
Who does not stick their noses in our business? And, in conclusion,
I honestly have to say that since I can see that I have the upper
hand, I will NOT have a problem living with them in the future,
if they ever want to come to our country. And, yes, I am sure things
will stay like this. Why? Because they know the consequences if
they don't act the way I want them to: World War III. So, take
my advice! Stand up on DAY ONE, or else you will kneel all your
lives. I promise that they will be the ones who are shocked and
stay quiet while thinking, "Oh, I better just let her have
her way or else there will be a tantrum. Let it roll off my back."
At the same time, remember to show them that you do like them.
It does not go amiss to accuse them of not liking you, too. In
the beginning, I asked MIL if she liked me. She gave me an acidic
smile. Now, if I look at her for a few seconds and ask, she raves
adamantly on about why I ask her, and says, "OF COURSE"
she does. So, follow my lead! Someone's got to let things ROLL
off their back, and it's better her than YOU.
Signed - The Success
Story: Taming Of The MIL
( responses to this story )
( here is my story )
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
will be posted as early as our resources will allow. Responses
to new stories will be handled via a link to the Daily Story Page Responses
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Working Women Don't Have Wives