For Christmas my MIL waltzed in with a bag full of ingredients to make a peach cobbler.  Never does she ask what she can bring, no, she just brings what she wants.  This Christmas it was brownies, an apple cake, and she insisted on using my kitchen to make her cobbler.  Next is the Christmas presents.  A decorative but broken box from a discount store, and a pair of pants which she said were so cheap she couldn't pass up buying for me whether they fit or not.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend because, out of several reasons, one of them was that I couldn't deal with his mother always being a constant burden and demand on his (our) time.  He's an only child and his parents divorced years ago, so he is all she has in the way of family.  This has somehow rendered him susceptible to her every whim and desire, especially now that she is sick.  Does it make me such a bad person that I can't accept the fact that he will always put her first?  Who should have to live with their mother-in-law for the rest of their life?  It's a hard situation to cope with and I'm at the end of my rope.


***NOTE:  Please feel free to respond to this (using our mother-in-law stories submission page) if you have any advice to share.  Reference this story as "Bad Person?" in your response.

Before my husband and I were married, my mother-in-law questioned me of my love for him, "You do know he has no money"?  Life after marriage has been hell!  I should have known beforehand.  She is domineering, and still thinks my husband should jump when she calls.  He does!!  When our first and only child was born, I had chosen my father's last name.  My husband and MIL argued with me that another person in the family had that same name, and HE HAD STINKING FEET!!!  They won.  Our son has never been accepted by the evil witch.  When he was small, she loved to make him cry by aggravating the stew out of him.  Now that he is older, she simply leaves him alone.  He is a very smart young man, and now that he is older asks me why I have put up with her.  Christmas and birthday gifts to him are never as good as his cousins.  His cousins know this and laugh about it.  My husband takes her side by saying she means well.  She is mean as hell!  What should I do? 


***NOTE:  Please feel free to respond to this (using our mother-in-law stories submission page) if you have any advice to share.  Reference this story as "STINKING FEET" in your response.

Ok. First of all, I want to say thank you for creating this page.  My MIL was created to make my life miserable!  My husband and I have been together going on 8 years.  When we first announced we were engaged, she kept bringing up my husband's ex girlfriend and saying that she was still interested, and that he needed to give her another chance before he committed.  THE NERVE!!!  My husband ignored her.  4 years into our marriage I was in the process of having a miscarriage.  My mother in law was less than a mile away at a local mall.  My husband called her and asked if she would come and help with our 2 year old.  She started with this long story of how she was shopping with her nieces, and that keeping up with a 2 year old would be more trouble than it was worth.  My husband said forget it.  My husband called my mom who was 4 hours away.  She dropped what she was doing and made it in time for him to be in surgery with me.

I have never hated someone so much in my life.  She has spread more lies about me to her family and to strangers.  When we announced that we were pregnant with our 2nd child, she made the comment so that I would hear it, "Well, she is pregnant again.  You would think they would stop!"  She has nothing to do with my 2nd child.  She has babysat my kids twice.  She babysits my brother-in-law's kids every time she gets a chance.

Needless to say, this situation has really put a strain on my marriage.  We have split up twice, and even filed for divorce once.  I just could not take anymore of her junk that she dished out, and my husband could not take anymore of the pain that I was in because of her.  I became very bitter and angry because of her, but I didn't have a place to vent except to him.  And, it came to the point he didn't know what else to do.  He was bottling up all of his anger and just taking it all in.  My husband is very sensitive and takes everything to heart.  He cannot see how she treats us.

Well, the latest episode.  MIL and FIL invited my girls over.  Then, thinking I wouldn't go along, they made other plans.  Well, I went along with it.  So, then, they changed their story.  They only intended on inviting my older child over who is 4 years old.  They didn't think my 2 year old would feel comfortable, seeing that she doesn't really know them.  WHOSE FAULT IS THAT!  My husband has been very upset with this whole situation.  He even insists that I don't have to go to Christmas at their house.  He is going to take the girls to just pick up their gifts.  He doesn't even want to be there.

I've worked through the bitterness and anger I have towards her.  I have been told that I don't have to forgive and forget.  These are gifts from God.  With the help of God, I have forgiven her, and I am working on forgetting the things of the past.  It helps when you make distance from her.  I haven't been to visit her in at least 6 months.  We moved to the other side of the state almost 2 years ago and she has only been to visit once.  Which is nice!  My husband visits at least every other week.  We only take the girls when they ask to see them.  They don't have time in their schedule for the girls, and that is ok.  Because, one day she is going to realize what she is missing out on. 

I have a possible solution to your MIL calling you at bad times of the day.  It has worked for me so far.  My future MIL calls every weekend to talk to my fiancé about nothing, just gossip.  He would always complain about how he hates talking to her on the phone about nothing.  One weekend he went so far as to stay on the internet all day so that she could not call.  He would use the internet for a few minutes, walk away for an hour, then go back for a few more minutes.  This went on all day, one Sunday.  I asked him several times if I could turn the computer off.  He explained that he was leaving it on so she could not call.  So I said, "Well then don't answer the phone if you don't really want to talk to her."  I suggested we just screen our calls on the weekend.  Of course, he is a momma's boy, so he would not do that.  So, what I started doing was turning off the ringers on the phones in the house, and disconnecting the answering machine, so she could not leave a message.  Last weekend he commented on how nice it was to not have our weekend interrupted by her phone calls.  My devious plan did back fire a little.  Last weekend he also commented on how she was starting to let go and get her own life.  He believes this because she has not called the last two weekends.  But what he does not know is that I have not been letting her call. 

This message is for everyone who has MIL problems.  I've been married for 3 yrs, and have had MIL troubles ever since wedding plans began.  To this day, the two of us don't see eye to eye on different things.  I recently sent her a card.  In the card, I wrote that I can love you as our Creator loves you, but I don't have to like the things you do.  I mentioned that she has little respect for me and my role as a wife and mother.  She has said some hurtful things in the past.  A lot of things...my husband has backed me on when discussing them with her.  However, if a person is set in their ways...it will be hard to reason with them.  I still think she is a fry short of a happy meal...that's ok.  I keep my comments to myself.  Fortunately, this has made my marriage stronger.  To those having trouble...Don't stoop to the MIL's level.  There is no need to argue.  A lot of times, the enemy (devil) uses other people to hurt you.  Be the bigger person.  There cannot be an argument unless you say something back.  I've learned to not say anything if it is not nice.  And, pray for the MIL.  What you sow, you'll reap.  A lot of times words are exchanged that you can't take back.  We all will have to be accountable for the things we do when our Creator meets with us.  So, passing judgment, criticizing, and squabbling is not doing any good.  Find another way to deal with MIL.  Either she will get the hint and leave the married couple alone, or she'll pay for it later.  Pray about it.  My Creator answers prayers, but maybe not when I want him to all of the time.  Apologize for any comment, criticism, or judging you may have done, and ask your Creator for forgiveness too.  If your conscious isn't bothering you, then don't apologize.  You may not get paid back right away for things you do wrong, but it'll happen.  So, don't try to get even, it will come back to you.  My MIL ended up in a car wreck after saying some things she said to me.  Not even 24 hrs later!  The payback could come to those who dislike you in all kinds of ways.  Sickness, tragedies, finances, etc.  Be careful what you say.  Even if you have a thought, consult your Creator first! Good luck.