This is a story about a
"gift" you can buy for any DIL. It is called "MILBGONE"
(MIL-be-gone). It comes in a unique packaging - attractive,
sweet females. MILBGONE consist of extreme niceness, subtle
avoidance, and globs of patience. Application is simple.
Just inhale as much of these ingredients through your soul, pray for
the effects, and WHAM - MILBGONE begins to work wonders. At
first, your MIL will be in shock. This is the dramatic effect
it contains. Next, your MIL will probably began to become paranoid.
This is a perfectly normal side effect for one who is not nice.
Finally your MIL will experience undesirable feelings of kindness
or acceptance. This will cause two possible side effects.
Either she will turn nice, or she will melt away from your feelings
like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz. This product is only
sold at finer stores.
Customer Comments: "I used MILBGONE and now my life is
better" - Nice DIL
"After using MILBGONE, my skin became clearer, my smile became
wider and I feel great" DIL from Georgia
"No more marriage counselor for me - THANKS MILBGONE"
1/31
signed - Makers of MILBGONE
There is a down side to
your MIL actually liking you, especially if you are a person who needs
their privacy. If she does like you, you will be expected to
accompany her on many weekend outings and camping vacations.
She will show up at your home whenever she feels like it, whether
she was invited or not! She will expect you to be her new best
friend! ICK!!! 1/31
signed - Mother In Law
Sucked The Life Out Of Me!
This is really a BIL story,
though it also involves MIL. My DH's (very spoilt) younger brother
lives interstate and often stays with my ILs. BIL and SIL own
a very large dog which is a cross between two of the most dangerous
dogs there are, and which has never had any kind of discipline in
its life. They bring the dog when they visit, even though ILs
only have a very small garden, which makes the dog behave even worse.
From the time the dog was about 4 months to 2 years old, I saw it
about 10 times, and every time it attacked me in some way, either
jumping on me, knocking me over, putting its jaws around my arm or
leg (which I say is biting, though ILs disagree) or getting me into
a corner and barking like crazy. All these things are illegal
where I live, and carry large fines plus other penalties for repeat
offenders. On not one of these occasions did BIL, SIL or MIL
make any effort at all to discipline the dog. FIL would at least
hold the dog back when he remembered. Far from apologizing to
me, they said the dog never went for anyone else and it was my fault
for being scared of it. (I AM scared of big dogs as I was bitten as
a child, but I am by no means pathological about it.) Besides,
the dog does attack other people - I've seen it go for children.
Eventually, my husband and I decided I did not have to go to the ILs
house when the dog was there, and ILs seemed OK with this. However,
it was ILs turn to have us for Christmas last year, and BIL plus dog
was going to be there, so DH talked to a vet friend of his and, on
her advice, bought me a water gun so I could dissuade the dog from
attacking me long enough to visit his family for the day. It turned
out BIL was not there after all, but when MIL saw the water gun she
had an absolute fit, said the dog had never hurt me but had just "been
a bit excited when it was a pup". Since when was 2 years
old and 4 feet high a "pup"?? Then she said she was going
to, "Warn BIL to protect his dog from me". I lost
it at that point, and told her off for the first time ever, quoting
all the laws which say that you have to keep your dog under control,
and also the laws which give me the right to protect myself with a
whole lot more than water (not that I want to hurt any animal, but
I still have the right to if I am in danger). She said I was
making it all up, and the dog was a lovely dog and had never attacked
me. Then, she walked off without saying good-bye. I told
my husband I was not going to a house where I had less rights than
a dog, regardless of whether the dog was actually there or not, and
he said he agreed. We haven't been back (even for his mother's
birthday), and we have no plans to until the dog gets trained and
leashed and I get two apologies! I should feel guilty, but I
feel just great. 1/31
signed - Mother In Law
Sucked The Life Out Of Me!
RESPONSE: Mother In Law Sucked The Life Out Of Me!
I totally agree about not going back. One bite or scratch can
scar you or your children for life. I don't trust any dog, let
alone one as big and ferocious as this one sounds. You made
the right choice, and if they choose their dog over you, then who
needs them anyway? 2/1
My husband and I moved to
Australia 10 years ago, and have been begging my MIL to come out for
Christmas ever since. So, this year, she finally agreed (provided
we paid for the tickets from the US). Since she was coming for
six weeks, we took a lot of trouble to clear out our spare room, even
repainting and installing an air-conditioner for her. She was
fascinated with the idea of spending Christmas in the middle of summer,
and told us she was really looking forward to the novelty of eating
her Christmas lunch on the beach where we live (this is a tradition
in Australia, and we love it - plus we thought it would be a new cultural
experience for a woman who spent her whole life in the northeastern
US).
The minute she stepped off the plane the complaints began - the flight
was too long (what did she expect?), the seats were uncomfortable,
she had trouble understanding the airline staff (some of them had
Australian accents - takes some getting used to, but it's not another
language!). But, the very best bit: after all our explanations
about just how hot December can be in Sydney, she gets off the plane
wearing a NY winter coat over jeans and a thick wool jumper!
She almost collapsed from the heat the second she stepped outside
the airport. Then, on the drive to our house, she started complaining
about the fact that Australians drive on the left - she said she couldn't
feel safe - she actually screamed when she saw oncoming traffic -
nearly causing my husband to have an accident. When she arrived
at our house, which is in one of the best parts of Sydney, she said
it seemed provincial. Then, she opened my fridge and started
inspecting the food inside it, poking and prodding it like it was
from another planet. She hated the garden because the trees
looked strange. She refused to eat the shrimp my husband BBQ'd
for her because they looked funny. She criticized our decorating,
complained that the air-conditioning would hurt her sinuses, and complained
that the heat was unbearable (she was still wearing jeans at this
point - at a time of year when most people shed as many clothes as
possible). She moaned about the height of the surf (we live
on one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen).
And then SHE STARTED ON MY KIDS. She hated the fact that they
have Aussie accents (they were born here). She gave them presents
related to American TV shows which have never been screened here (and
she knows that our kids don't watch TV anyway). She also started
passing out American candy, which is strictly against the rules of
our house.
All that would have been bearable until Christmas Day. She refused
to get up early, so the poor kids had to wait and wait for their presents.
She told my husband that she couldn't take any of her gifts home with
her because she didn't want to pay for excess baggage (we were paying
for her flights, remember). She told my daughter that she looked
ugly in her new clothes, and she told my son he was a sissy for wanting
paint and other art supplies instead of toy guns or something violent.
She refused to go swimming with us after the presents were opened,
even though the kids were desperate to try their new surfboards and
to show off to Grandma.
Then, she announced that she couldn't possibly eat Christmas
lunch on the beach because: 1) there was too much sand and 2) it wouldn't
feel like Christmas. So, at 10am on Christmas Day, we totally
reorganized everything to accommodate her. We agreed to eat
a cold Christmas lunch in our backyard (which is right next to that
terrible sandy beach anyway), and then we'd have some sort of late
meal that was more like what she was used to (this meant my husband
and I spent all day in the kitchen instead of playing with our kids).
She ran up a HUGE phone bill calling all of her friends in the US
to tell them about how weird Christmas Down Under was (how rude!).
She spent half the day sitting on her backside watching TV (and moaning
that she couldn't find her favorite programs - we have just one TV
in our house and it is normally banished to a back room - she managed
to move it into our lounge and keep it going almost all the time she
stayed with us - totally ignoring the fact that we don't like the
kids to watch TV, and especially not without supervision). When
Christmas lunch was finally served, she just picked at a salad and
made rude remarks about how strange our food looked (it's very traditional
in Australia to eat cold seafood during the hot part of the day for
Christmas and then eat the turkey and ham and hot food when it cools
down in the evening).
I could go on about the misery of the next five weeks of her visit,
but this post is long enough. It's enough to say we cried with
relief when we put her on the plane back to New York! 1/21
signed - Glad She's On
The Other Side Of The World
RESPONSE: Glad She's On The Other Side Of The World
That's too bad about your MIL. Your holiday sounds like it would
have been wonderful! What a special way to spend Christmas!
Maybe she's just too set in her ways to see that a different way is
just as good? That's too bad, and it makes me feel sorry for
her. Though, not too sorry! J
She could have had a very nice time if she'd just tried! 1/23 RESPONSE: Glad She's On The Other Side Of The World
Some people were never meant to travel! I laughed and laughed
at your story, because my MIL is the same about Christmas dinner ...
but she was born and bred in Australia! The first year DH had
lunch with my family, it was seafood and mango, both of which he adores.
We went to visit ILs afterwards (we all live in the same city) and
she asked us all about "what exotic foods" we had for lunch,
expecting, I think, that it would be something "ethnic"
- she is hung up on my non-anglo surname even though both sides of
my family have actually been here longer then hers - and was appalled
that it was, in her words, "Not a proper traditional dinner."
As you say, it's about as traditional as you get in Australia!
I might also add, everyone at her house rolls around complaining that
they have eaten too much, while my parents are off having a nice swim
feeling great! She then told my husband many many times that
we weren't "allowed" to go to my family unless they served
proper food, because otherwise he couldn't enjoy Christmas. She hasn't
seen him happily munching away on crab and sorbet as opposed to half
heartedly pushing roast meat around on his plate! We totally
ignored her and have continued to alternate where we spend Christmas,
but last time it was her turn, after all the meats and pudding and
so on, she said she knew how much I liked "Australian foods",
and brought out a PAVLOVA to have with coffee!! My FIL's relatives
(who actually are immigrants and think eating hot food at midday in
December in Australia is insane) had to leave the room because they
were laughing so much.
Goodness knows what she is going to say when she finds out next year
that we're going away on a beach holiday over Christmas (your MIL
would REALLY find where we are going provincial!). Anyway, I
hope you're enjoying Sydney, sounds like you fit right in - and it
sounds like it's a whole lot easier to bring your kids up the way
you want on the other side of the world from MIL! 1/31
I just want everyone to
know my secret for getting along with an evil witch mother in law.
I live three miles away from her, but only see her once a year on
Christmas. I treat her like I am divorced from her son.
I send my daughter over there twice a month to visit. Other
than that, my husband and I have nothing to do with his family, as
they have treated us terribly since we married in 1989. We met
in 1985, so I have known this woman for 16 years. So, the secret
is avoidance. 1/27
signed - I Hate My Mother
In Law With All My Heart
RESPONSE: I Hate My Mother In Law With All My Heart
I really do agree that avoidance is the best strategy. It also
has been working for me so far. My MIL lives abroad, but still
she can not let go. She expects to see us three times a year
and to visit us often, which is impossible. Last summer I invented
an excuse not to go with my husband to visit her for two weeks.
I had so much peace of mind. But, I think she likes it better
when she has her son to herself. She never even asked me about
my absence or expressed regret that I did not come to visit her.
I want to know where to strike the balance, because, while avoiding
her kills her, letting her have my husband to herself pleases her.
Do you think it would be better if I let my husband visit by himself,
or would it better if I accompany him once a year, for three weeks
to her house and still try to avoid her mentally? I think the
mental distance is still important. This way, I am not giving
her the chance to control me or interfere in my life. Doesn't
it bother you that your daughter goes to visit your mil by herself?
Doesn't your MIL try to influence your daughter against you?
Right now I am only one and a half years into my marriage. I
love my husband. He is very good to me, but I am terrified of
the idea of having children, because I know she will try to use them
to abuse me even further. I'll appreciate your response. 1/29 RESPONSE: I Hate My Mother In Law
With All My Heart
Finally, a woman after my own heart! I completely agree with
you. I completely avoid my MIL. I see her on Christmas
and special occasions - and that's it! I knew before I walked
down that aisle that we would be on different sides. My mother,
wise and experienced in dealing with difficult MILs, knew too.
She suggested that I always be polite when dealing with her, never
bad mouth her (however, this site helps tremendously to vent - THANK
YOU) and never give her "ammunition" to use against me.
Since going around her is frustrating and difficult, I avoid her.
Also, when I encounter her family or friends, I am always exceptionally
nice. It only makes me look good and her look b*tchy!
So, for all those who can avoid the MIL - Just do it! 1/29 RESPONSE From Poster: I Hate My Mother In Law With All
My Heart
Several of you have written and expressed concern because I send my
daughter over to my evil mother in law's home by herself. No,
I am not afraid. My daughter is three and is as happy as a lark.
The minute she tells me that she doesn't want to visit Grammy because
she doesn't treat her right, that will be the end of the visits.
Right now I think that she loves my daughter and treats her well.
If I ever find out differently, then that will be the end of that.
Yes, I used to worry that the witch might say bad things about me.
But, I feel so good about my husband, me and my daughter as a family
that I think the witch would just alienate my sweet daughter if she
ever spoke against me. Every night my daughter hugs her mama
and we talk about her day and she tells me she loves me. I think
that having a Grammy will ad to my daughter's life. But, if
she ever crosses me, that will be the end. 1/31
This is the 2nd marriage
for both of us, with children, 2 boys & 2 girls. Everything
started out fine, but mil & sil started complaining about little
things. They interfered so much that his mother took my husband
to court, because we didn't want the boys going over there as much.
Every time they did we had problems. Well, it's been 5 years,
and we don't speak to mother. She had to have total control,
and didn't know when to back off. She also verbally abused my
7 year old daughter behind my back, telling her not to tell me.
When I found out, that ended everything right there. She also
lied. It's really too bad that some mil's never know their places.
We could have all gotten along beautifully if she had just been grandma,
and not tried to take over. She raised her own, and should let
us do the same. Trying to spoil grandkids is fine if you don't
see them that much, but when you are trying to raise them, that won't
work. 2nd marriages are hard enough with children, jobs, sports,
etc. No one needs an interfering mil. We tried many times
to talk to her, and it never worked. She just had to have everything
her own way, even telling me how to cut my daughter's hair, what she
should eat, and if she needed a new pair of sneakers or not!
I am not kidding. We are 2 hard working, responsible parents.
We were coming home at night after work, cooking, helping with homework,
church, school, boy scouts, girl scouts, soccer, baseball, and had
to listen to my mil who never worked, and had all day to do whatever.
Sometimes, when you do it all and that isn't good enough, it's just
better to break away. I think mil's should learn their place
when their sons get married. Be there to visit, but let them
lead their own lives. You will enjoy and be welcomed.
Don't pick at everything. I have daughters, but I know I will
be a better mil because of what happened to me. Remember, they
are not your kids, they are your grandchildren, and they also need
to grow up with rules just like we did, and I think I am a good person
because of it. 1/27
signed - Learned From Experience
RESPONSE: Learned From Experience
Hi, sorry to hear of your awful story. I, too, have a mother-in-law
who is trying to take over the life of her grandchild. She doesn't
realize that my daughter is not her child. What happened when
she took your husband to court? We won't be surprised if my
MIL does this also when we reduce her "visitation" time.
Thanks in advance for the further information. J 1/31
I had been married for 26
years before my husband passed away in 1996. When I got married
in 1970, my mother-in-law was not really so fond of me. Well,
I told myself, "Very usual for mother-in-law behavior."
When things were not so good I usually grumbled to my husband, but
he would normally keep quiet. I think that really paid off.
After about one year, very fortunately, things became different.
She stopped finding faults with me and stopped scolding me.
It took a turn for the better. Everything turned out very nicely
for me. She stayed with me for twenty years, and we really got
on very well. She did the housekeeping and the cooking.
She enjoyed it, because I never interfered with what she did.
I think she was happy with that arrangement. I was away at work
during the day, and she would wait for me to return from work, as
she was alone with the children at home. We found, in each other,
companionship. We shared a lot. She would, quite often,
tell me of her times when she struggled with her children, as she
was a widow at a very young age. She looked after my children,
and doted on them. She got them ready for school. She
even looked after me during my confinement, and even when I was unwell.
She had always got me the most beautiful gifts, such as saris and
dresses (as I am an Indian, I use saris once in a while). She
got lovely gifts for my husband and children. I always looked
forward to her gifts. She passed away after staying with me
for 20 years. That was way back in 1989. My husband, children
and I took a long time to get over her loss and having to live without
her. My children and I miss her very much even to this day.
And, once in a while we talk and laugh at the happy times we spent
together. She was a wonderful mother in law, and a truly great
and lovable grandmother to my children. Not because she cooked,
and looked after her grandchildren, but for what she was, a very lovable
and caring person. I pray that God will reward her for her inner
beauty and love that she radiated to all around her. "May
her soul rest in peace." In memory of my dearest mother-in-law, and
most precious grandmother of my children. 1/30
signed - In Memory
RESPONSE: In Memory
A lovely story. It made me realize that many of the issues that
we DILs have with our MILs are due to our European cultural upbringing.
I am half Lebanese, but I was raised in New Zealand. I would
be unable to allow my MIL to cook, clean or god forbid bring up my
children. I could not tolerate anything remotely like that.
I see marriage as an exclusive partnership and my MIL as very much
the booby prize that I have to accept in order to be with my husband.
My home is my castle. I married DH, not my in laws. There
is limited room in my life for them. If they were nice people,
there would be more room made, but even so, I could never allow them
to live with me. Cultural differences. 1/31
If you guys think that
you have a story about horrible mothers-in-law then let me share this
hot one. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three
years. We have lived together for two. I stayed with his
mom before we moved into our own place. I stayed with her for
four months, and that was hell. From the day I moved in there
she became a leech, and quit her job two days after. I paid
her bills, fed her cigarette habit, and kept her wet with funds for
liquor. I drove her around everywhere she could think to go,
even if it was to the store a block away. Straight to the point
... I got tired of this, and the living conditions were terrible.
I wouldn't want to be there, because every time I turned around she
would ask me for money, on top of all the things that I did for her.
She would always ask me to never tell my boyfriend about the things
that she was requiring from me, but I told him anyway, and he said
that I was silly to give her anything that she asked for. Soon
I stopped being around and she would never see me. One day she
told my boyfriend to ask me for $260 dollars 'cause she needed her
rent paid and she didn't have enough money. I told him that
he had to put a stop to this. So he went and discussed it with
her in her room. Within seconds, she flew out into the living
room, where I was, and began saying that I was lying about her, and
that I never gave her a dime since I was staying there. She
swore on her children's lives that I was lying and that I needed everything
from Jesus to medicine, 'cause I was a selfish psychotic to lie about
her, and her son should not be with me. Knowing that I told
him everything that I did for her, he still was undecided on whom
to believe because she swore on his life and hers. I left, but
I came back the next morning and put the money in his hand and said
I am not selfish and I was not lying. She told him to tell me
she would give it back in some days, then I left, promising that I
would never come back into her house after she called me every name
in the book. Here we are, 2 years later, and I never got my
money. She told him that she wasn't giving it to me and that
I had roots on him (voodoo) so he should stay clear of me. She
played on our phones, continues to call me names, and every time my
boyfriend and I argue it's about her. I told him that I wanted
nothing to do with her. She has tried to break my car window
because I didn't invite her to my housewarming. She told him
that I cast a spell on him and he will be trapped forever. The
only spell is me spelling out my bank account to buy him a brand new
car, everything on his back, a $4000 dirt bike, and anything that
he can think of wanting. I don't even treat myself, and I make
more money than him, so when it comes to bills and all I am the breadwinner.
I never ask him for anything, but he always lets her come between
us. I let him use my card to get money for himself, and he got
out money for her and pretended that he didn't. Then, when I
was about to call the bank to report money being stolen a week later
he confessed, saying that she needed the money. I shelled out
$1500 for him to drive around in that car, while my car just got totaled,
and I simply requested that he not cater to her needs until he paid
me half the money back. He lied to me, saying that he was going
to take his sister somewhere, and I followed him to find out that
he took his mom somewhere. You would think that he would be
on my side. There are worse things that have occurred, but that
would take a day to type. Keep in mind that I am twenty years
old and was 18 when all this mess started.
IF YOU CARE TO COMMENT, PLEASE DO SO, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THIS MESS
TO FOLLOW ME INTO THIS NEW YEAR, AND I AM STARTING TO GET TIRED OF
MY BOYFRIEND PICKING HER OVER ME. WE HAVE NO KIDS, AND SHE WANTS
TO KEEP IT THAT WAY AND BREAK US UP. 1/12
signed - She Wants To Break
Us Up
RESPONSE: She wants to break us up.
Are you the only one working in this situation? Sure sounds
like it. He who pays makes the rules. I think you should
get the h*ll out of this relationship before they suck you dry. He
doesn't love you, he loves your money. Get away from all of
those leaches. You can do better for yourself. After you
leave, somebody there is going to have to work. 'Bout time!! 1/14 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up.
Have you ever thought of using a pocket-sized tape recorder? It
would have convinced your boyfriend of whose telling the truth. And
if you got out of the picture with your boyfriend, his mother wouldn't
have any money of yours, or your boyfriend's for that matter. So
considering that she wants you two to break up ... I'd definitely
be visiting her again with the money issue ... how she will never
get another dime from you, and neither will that boyfriend of yours.
Now this is only my opinion. Hugs and good luck. 1/14 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up.
You have NO idea how familiar your story sounds. Your problem
isn't just your FMIL, it's your boyfriend. It sounds like you've
pretty much lost control over where your hard-earned money is going.
If your boyfriend doesn't respect requests like when or where
he can drive the car YOU paid for, you need to stop spending your
money on him. If he's ever going to be trustworthy, he needs
to show you NOW that he can commit to you. You need to let him
know that he can't have it both ways, and that if she's more important
to him than your relationship, he can move on in back with her and
pay her bills, cigarette money, and booze fund for her. There ARE
better men out there, and it sounds like you can do a LOT better for
yourself. Good luck! 1/14 RESPONSE From Poster: She wants to break us up
Hey, thanks for responding to my problem. I really appreciate
the eyes on the outside, because this helps me look at my situation
better. I bought a pocket recorder, and I am not only gonna
use it against the mom, but also I am gonna catch some stuff with
my boyfriend. I called the mom on Sunday and said, point blank,
that I want my money and that is that. If she is not willing
to give it up, then to me she has no concern for what makes her son
happy, which is me. I will end this relationship over some hard
cash, believe me, because I am starting to feel really broke without
having a chance to see any money. Thanks for the support and
all the ideas. They are great. 1/16 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up
This shouldn't even be about the money. If he couldn't trust
you the first time, that should have been a big hint. Give yourself
some credit. You would never let a man treat a friend of yours
like this, would you? 1/18 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up
Girl, you are a fool to let ANY man treat you this way! If you
think things are going to get better, you are wrong. They will
only get worse. You are young and can do anything you want.
There are PLENTY of good men out there - trust me! 1/20 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up
Leave them both. They are using you and you are letting them.
Do you need a man so badly that you let him treat you this way? 1/22 RESPONSE: She wants to break us up
Hmm. It sounds like the only thing missing here is a "kick
me" sign on your back. I hate to break this to you, but
you're a bit of a doormat, and everyone you've mentioned in your sad
tale knows it but you. The fact that you've invested as much
as you have in this relationship shows yer not usin' yer noodle.
Seems like you could do a lot better, so maybe you should just say
adios to the whole "trash clan". 1/31
My MIL is such a jealous
lady. She doesn't like it when I hold hands or talk to my DH
when she is around. Whenever my DH is not around, she complains
endlessly about him. My MIL is a young-looking widow and she
likes to copy my style. She copies every detail, from head to
toe, so that she can look just like me. She looks like my elder
sister rather than my MIL, and I hate it. When people say that
I look nice, she will ask them what they specifically like about my
looks. Oh, I hate that so very much. Why can't she just
be herself??? 1/29
signed - Fed-Up. Why Can't
She Just Be Herself???
RESPONSE: Fed-Up. Why Can't She Just Be Herself???
Bravo! She worships you. Why, then, would she copy you?
I would never copy someone I hated. As the old cliché
goes, imitation is the finest form of flattery. Well, you know
what I mean. Be proud that she does that. People know
that you are the original, the trendsetter. Meanwhile experiment
with your own looks (you're young, be adventurous) have fun, be happy.
My MIL copies my outfits. If you ask me, she looks stupid in
them for her age (we are 50+ years apart), but people see us as me
being the one with ideas and styles she likes; she has no originality
(poor thing). So there ... 1/30
The irony of my story is
that, when my much loved MIL passed away, life became hell for my
DH and me. DH's sister decided to take upon herself the role
and responsibility of MIL, and I guess in her mind that meant doing
it the way SHE believed DH's mother SHOULD have performed it in the
first place -- with malice and jealousy and hate. The first
act of the SIL's New Regime was a phone call to me to inform me that
DH had had an affair with my best friend before we were married.
At first, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I kept thinking
I misunderstood what she said, bad phone connection or something,
and I didn't react outwardly, although I thought my heart was going
to explode. And, I guess when I didn't react, it confused her,
because she made a hasty excuse to say good-bye, and hung up.
When I mentioned the strange conversation to DH, it turned out the
allegation was true. He confessed. Needless to say, that
crisis took months of tears, therapy, and deep depression to overcome.
(When SIL was confronted by DH, she denied having said it.)
In the meantime, SIL worked on destroying what was left of my confidence
with little digs and insults whenever the family got together for
holidays and special occasions. I call these "Little Murders",
because in a way, I think she was trying to kill my spirit and my
marriage. She pretended not to know that I had a college education,
saying things like, "Oh .... you actually graduated?!?
It doesn't show ...", and, "You actually owned your own
home before you met my brother? It must've been *awfully* small
...", "You had a career? What were you, a waitress,
or receptionist maybe?" I could go on and on. She
had a snide remark about every aspect of my life. (SIL has a Master's
Degree, and believes that those with anything less are just taking
up too much space on this planet.) At family reunions, if I
laughed or appeared to be enjoying myself, she would tell me to, "SHUT
UP!" She would shout it at me, and I would shrink in embarrassment,
the room would fall silent, and I would just want to crawl off and
die ... I never understood what it was I was doing so bad that would
warrant being yelled at. I know now that she just couldn't stand
it if I was having fun, talking, laughing; it must've made her crazy
when she believed I should be miserable. (After all, DH had had an
affair with my (ex) best friend. I should have killed myself,
I guess. SIL hoped?)
When I was diagnosed with MS, I expected her not to believe the diagnosis,
but I didn't expect her to send me greeting cards based on the theme
of death. She thought they were funny. I didn't.
After that, every time she got a hangnail, she called DH to tell him
all the details of her "injury". I don't know why
she just didn't call the newspaper and have them run it on the front
page. Headline! Hangnail! Terminal! Story
and Film at Six!
Then the weird stuff started. She began sending pornographic
materials to my email address. Pictures, filthy stories.
My email address contains my full name, and is not a nickname or cryptic
code. It was not a mistake to be receiving this smut over the
internet. I emailed her a polite request to please stop sending
such material to me. She ignored it. The materials got
worse and more frequent. Again, I asked her to stop. I
was ignored. DH called her and demanded that she stop.
She ignored him. When she sent me a computer virus that corrupted
a lot of programs and cost me hours of re-installations and lost files,
I canceled my internet account and opened another one with a different
provider. She called and wanted to know why her email was being
returned, and I said I no longer had internet service because it was
too expensive. She must have gotten suspicious, because she
called around and got my new address from another family member, and
the pornographic mailings started again. The last one I got
had a subject line saying "I am sorry", so I opened the
message. She had tricked me. The picture was so filthy,
I lost my temper and called her and cussed her out. She began
screaming that I was mentally ill, and needed to seek professional
help, and that in her opinion I should be committed. I said,
"Would you like to repeat that to my husband?" and handed
the phone to DH. She must've really lost control, because I
could hear her voice over the receiver from across the room, and she
demanded that DH make a choice right then between her or me.
I heard DH say in shocked disbelief, "I can't believe what you're
asking me to do. But I will NOT give up my wife! And if
that means no more ties with you and the rest of my family, then so
be it!" And he hung up on her. She did send one more
email to my address but referenced to DH. My new mail filter
deleted the attachment (no doubt another OB-GYN view of the female
anatomy), but when I saw that the subject line said, "To DH,
hope you will enjoy this" I realized that she never meant the
emails for me ... she had always been sending them to DH, her own
brother!!!!! It made me ill. DH never saw any of the stuff
she sent. When I tried to show him what was going on, he would
refuse to acknowledge it, saying that he had no desire to see any
of that trash. I wish he had. Then I think he would have
a better understanding of what was happening. But maybe he knows
more than he can bring himself to admit. It would be hard for
him to admit that his sister, the golden girl, the apple of everyone's
eye, is truly twisted. (SIL teaches third graders. I find
this fact disturbing.)
It's gotten better the last couple of years. At first, SIL made
a few attempts over the phone to tell DH that I am a liar and am always
telling him lies about everything, that he can't trust me, etc., etc.
She wrote me a three page letter listing all the things I had done
to ruin the relationships in the family. I didn't respond to
it, but I admit that I cried for hours after reading it. We
know that she has poisoned the opinions of our family members and
has worked to ostracize us. Other than those painful incidents,
it has been really quiet, none of the other family members have talked
to us. Holidays and special occasions have come and gone without
a trace of warmth and closeness to DH's other relatives. And
we have survived the loss, because we have what's really important
-- each other. But, slowly, they will be coming around to the
truth, because I am convinced that if SIL doesn't have me to destroy,
she will look for another victim. And it looks as if I'm right,
because one of DH's BILs has just recently called to relate a very
familiar story of harassment and threats to his wife from You Know
Who. It's just that ... we couldn't feel very sympathetic after
all this time of being alienated by everyone in the family.
We could only wish him good luck. 1/19
signed - Deja Vu - Wish
Him Luck
RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
I am so sorry. My MIL is the same way as your SIL. My
husband and I have now been disowned, and the entire family is on
her side. I know if they had been witness to all the screaming
and yelling and LYING on her part, they would feel differently, and
might even demand she get mental help. But, they all act like
they are afraid of her. She has some hold/control over this
family. It is scary. Anyway, thank the Lord you have a
husband who chose you, HIS WIFE! That was the right decision.
Mine has also chosen us (his children and me) over his mother, and
I count my blessings every day. 1/21 RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
Your SIL, by all accounts, sounds mentally unbalanced, and not a little
dangerous. You could possibly take all the evidence you have,
along with other family members' evidence, to a mental health professional
and express your concerns that she needs help. I am especially
concerned that she is a teacher and is exhibiting this kind of unstable
behavior. I am sorry for your misfortune, and hope the best
for you. 1/21 RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
You should have reported her to your internet provider. They
would have canceled her service and you wouldn't have had to change.
This woman sounds like my SIL (screw loose), except mine isn't smart
enough to operate a computer. 1/21 RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
I'm so sorry for all you had to go through with your horrible SIL.
She's definitely a mental case. I can't believe nobody else
noticed her off-the-wall behavior. Didn't anyone question her
yelling at you to "SHUT UP!" for no reason whatsoever?
That should have been a big tip-off, but some people refuse to see
it. Did she only exhibit this bizarre behavior after her mother
died? In any case, I think you should get a restraining order
on her, and report to the authorities that she was emailing you pornography
against your will. That is harassment, pure and simple.
What's truly scary is to think about the 8-year-olds she probably
terrorizes in her class at school. She could probably have intimidated
a number of them to keep quiet about any of her tirades and bizarre
behavior. God help them if they think this is the normal way
for people to behave! Even if you don't have any pity for your
BIL and his wife (and I understand your feelings, given their lack
of support for you and your husband), remember that they, too, were
being led and manipulated by this evil b*tch. If you report
her, you'll be the one in control, and not her. PLEASE get the
restraining order! I can't stress that enough. Once she
finds that she's alienated her possible victims, STALKING would be
the next step for someone like her. I wish you luck in dealing
with this vile creature (human would be too generous a term for her). 1/24 RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
There is something seriously wrong with your SIL! She certainly
must have a mental illness of some sort. I would not take anything
that she does personally, although I know she's directing her illness
towards you. Just distance yourself from her 100%, and know
that her brain illness is not your problem. Sorry to hear she's
caused you so much misery!!!!! 1/25 RESPONSE: Deja Vu - Wish Him Luck
By all means, wish your brother-in-law luck! I understand how
upset you are with him and the rest of his family for not supporting
you while your SIL made your life a living hell. But, at least
NOW there's proof that you weren't out of your mind. Some mentally
unstable people seem to have an uncanny knack for appearing to be
perfectly reasonable and normal. After all, in their OWN little
worlds, every word they're saying is the literal truth (even if it
doesn't match up with everybody else's version of reality).
In many families, people don't WANT to believe that someone they care
about has gone horribly wrong somewhere along the line. Sit
down with your brother-in-law's wife, share horror stories, and stand
together. With allies to back you up, your nasty, vicious SIL
may get the shock of her life at the next family gathering!
Good luck and let us know how things turn out! 1/30
My husband and I get along
great. The only reason we usually argue is because of his family.
Here are a few examples of my MIL and/or SIL's antics. Before
our wedding, when we were discussing how many invitations each side
would get, my MIL argued that she should be given a large share because
her friends are well off financially and will give us better gifts
than the other potential guests. I had decided to only have
my sister and three friends as my bridal attendants. This did
not sit well with my MIL. She tried to encourage me to include
her daughter in the wedding party by telling me that my future SIL
was well paid and would therefore be instrumental in throwing me an
elegant bridal shower. While we were at our rehearsal dinner,
my SIL mentioned to one of my friends that she was sure that I, as
his fiancée, would become the primary beneficiary of her brother's
assets (life insurance, wills, etc.), but she was certain that I would
"share the wealth" if anything were to happen to him.
When I was pregnant, I had a mild case of morning sickness.
MIL called and asked me how I was feeling. When I told her that
I was tired and a little nauseous, she said that this was normal,
and reminded me that I was not the first woman to have a baby.
She also said that the ONLY important thing is that the baby remain
healthy (what about me?). I never forgot these remarks.
A few years later her daughter became pregnant. Near the end,
she was very big and uncomfortable. MIL did not rebuke her with
the same unkind words that she used on me. Instead, she told
her that, under the circumstances, she would even have every right
to park in the handicapped parking spaces until she gave birth! 1/29
signed - She Has Right
To Handicapped Spaces???
RESPONSE:
We must have the same MIL. At 26 weeks pregnant, I was in the
hospital on bed rest while expecting twins. One baby was very
sick and the doctors didn't expect either one to survive. DH
was staying with me at the hospital. As MIL left one night after
visiting, she turned to me and said, "Make sure HE gets a good
nights rest." These women are either ignorant or hateful. 1/30 RESPONSE: She Has Right To Handicapped Spaces???
At least your MIL called to see how you were feeling when you were
pregnant. After eight years of marriage, and a seemingly good
relationship with my MIL, I was so sick in the first trimester that
I was put in the hospital. I never received a call or card for
months (she lives out of state). What hurt more than anything
was the fact that, not only was she not caring enough to check on
me, but we also had a 3 year old son (her grandson) who she was always
so good about keeping up with before. Not anymore. Hang
in there.
Signed: Can't Understand It 1/30
Note: This story
moved here from the 12/9/00 archive due to recent receipt of a response.
At Thanksgiving dinner my MIL pointed to my infant daughter and said,
"You're MOMMY'S little baby girl, aren't you?" Then
she pointed at my husband and said, "And that's MY big baby boy!"
He's 30 years old! I started laughing, because she really summed
up her feelings towards him with one simple sentence. She shot
me a dirty look, and my husband kept looking down at his plate. 12/5
Signed - Cut The Cord
Already!
RESPONSE: cut the cord already
Maybe she was just trying to explain how a family works. My
mother explains to my daughter sometimes that I am her little girl
too. That isn't her trying to aggravate anyone, just explain
that one day you will have a baby and they will have a baby and so
on. This may have not bothered you, but since this is a place
most people complain, I figure it did. It shouldn't have. 1/12 RESPONSE: Cut the cord already
This is in regard to the first response. In the original story,
notice the words "infant daughter". Do you really
think the MIL was trying to educate the baby as to how a family works?
No, those words were for her DIL's ears. 1/15 RESPONSE: cut the cord already (original poster's response)
Original Poster's Response to previous response:
As I mentioned in my original post, my daughter is an infant. My
MIL was not trying to explain how a family works to an 8 month old
baby! She was trying to push my buttons because she is a possessive,
controlling woman who feels the need to compete with me for my husband's
attention. This site is for people to vent and explain how their
MILs cannot let go of their "baby boys." This was
just another example, one of HUNDREDS that I could write about regarding
my MIL, so please do not tell me that she just made an innocent comment. 1/15 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
I'd say, with your laugh, that you pretty much got the better of her
on that one. If that's the worst you've suffered at her hands,
I'd say you should consider yourself lucky. I'd also say that
you're pretty resourceful when it comes to foiling her attempts at
monopolizing your husband for her own selfish needs. Bottom
line: Good One, and keep doing what you're doing!!! Maybe one
day she'll accept that, although her baby boy is 30, that he's a BIG
boy now and does big boy things all on his very own!!! For amusement
value, you could always leave some of your racier lingerie lying in
a spot where you know she'll see it, and as she spots it you could
gather it up and say, "Well, I guess that's how we got pregnant
in the first place!" and feign embarrassment. Sometimes,
these kinds of things remind a MIL that her little guy is doing very
grown up things!!! I call these shock value object lessons.
I have to practice them with my own MIL on a very regular basis, just
to keep her realistic about who's where in the pecking order of her
son's priority list. 1/16 RESPONSE From Responder: cut the cord already
I never meant to upset anyone, and I did over look the word "infant".
I apologize. I just know how it is in my experience, and I have
toddler who does understand, "this is my little girl", when
my mother says it. No, infants do not . But I was trying
to help someone feel better about a situation. This is a place
to give advice and opinions. That is what I did. 1/16 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
Perhaps your mother in law was trying to push your buttons, but do
you really KNOW that? Perhaps it was just an innocent comment.
I have to admit, I felt a bit sorry for your husband when I read this
story. I thought YOU embarrassed him more than his mother. My
mom still introduces me to people as her "baby" and I'm
in my mid 30's! Its not because she can't let go, but because
she's my mom, and to her I'll always be her child, even though she
understands and recognizes that I'm an adult. I've noticed a
tendency for a lot of the D'sIL who write here to criticize their
mothers in law for behaving in a motherly way towards their sons.
I'm not saying that smothering them or treating them like a child
is okay, but I don't think you should expect a MIL to abandon her
motherly feelings for her son just because he's older. Parents
will always worry about their kids. As to the person that jumped
on the first response, I've also noticed a tendency for some of the
people who write here to get all bent out of shape if someone disagrees
with a statement by a DIL. This sight is a place to vent, and
for support, but support doesn't always mean agreeing with someone.
Support can also be pointing out to someone when they are perhaps
being unfair, or suggesting another perspective on a situation.
Oh, and to the woman who leaves out her sexy lingerie for her mother
in law to see? That is just plain tacky and childish.
Don't complain about your mother in laws antics if YOU are behaving
so badly. 1/18 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
I would have laughed too! I would have laughed even harder when
she shot me a dirty look, just because I was glad I got under her
skin when she embarrassed my dh. Can you imagine her doing that
in public to her son, or at dinner with non-relatives in attendance?
It's not a term of affection, it is infantile. No son or daughter,
whether still a minor or an adult, should be humiliated by a parent
in that way. Get your husband to do some research on setting
appropriate boundaries with his mother. 1/26 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
I am the one who responded to the first responder, and now I would
like to respond to the person who thought I had gotten all "bent
out of shape". My mother hugs me and calls me her baby,
but she would never introduce me to people as her "baby"
because that would embarrass me as I too am in my 30's. The
husband in the original story would still be embarrassed even if his
wife's response was silence instead of laughter by his wife. 1/27 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
My mom calls me "her baby" to other people (like when she
is introducing me to someone). She says, "This is my Baby
Girl!" I am the only girl, and the oldest. But, I
am still her baby girl. I guess it all comes down to what kind
of family you were raised in. Some people would not say that,
nor would they respond well to that. Some are fine with it.
Maybe this poster's husband's family is fine with it, while the poster
is not. Maybe this mother in law is a witch and the poster has
grounds to be upset. None of us know this. So, we all
need to remember what this site is for and not walk on each other
for what we say. Lets all love each other. After all,
we are all DIL's with bad MIL's right J.
Love you all! 1/29 RESPONSE: cut the cord already
Any person who calls her adult child "baby" probably has
some separation issues. I think the original poster had every
right to be upset and mortified. Many of our MILs are reluctant
to let their children grow up (to the point of being crippling), while
others are practically incestuous with their "love".
I took an informal poll of all my friends and acquaintances.
ALL of them agreed that a parent calling an adult child "baby"
is weird. It reflects negatively on the parent who can't cut
the cord, simple as that. 1/30
My mother-in-law came to
visit us for a week. I was not there for part of her visit because
of my studies. Before I left, my husband and I made a reservation
for the three of us to go to a nice restaurant on New Year's Eve.
When she arrived, she canceled that reservation and she arranged to
go to another restaurant (which is equally expensive) with my husband,
in my absence. When my husband told me this over the phone,
I was infuriated. Her excuse was that the other restaurant,
to which we had made the original reservation, was expensive.
My husband apologized for her and said that it was her money anyway.
The evil witch sent travel money from her country, prior to her arrival,
to our account here. I later found out that the money she had
transferred was from my husband's account (which he had before he
married me). This is an account that she shares with him.
I try to concentrate on our accounts here (and our life here), and
ignore the account that they have together abroad. When I talked
to my husband about it, he said that that money is for emergency situations
only. Anyway, her changing the reservation to the nice restaurant
for a day when I would not be around confirmed the thoughts that I
had about her before: she cannot stand being around me or seeing me
enjoy good food. This woman is so materialistic. She thinks
that life revolves around dining in expensive restaurants and enjoying
good wine! What she did not realize is that right after she
left, I made a reservation for the same exact restaurant and I enjoyed
the dinner, just me and my husband, without having to look at her
ugly, wrinkled face. She also does not realize that what makes
me and my husband happy are the simple, basic things in life, and
not necessarily money --- which is obviously God to this evil woman!!! 1/29
signed - It's The Simple,
Basic Things In Life
OOPS!!
My MIL was kind enough to take some time off work recently, so that
my wife and I could maximize our time with our son. He had to
spend a few days in the hospital. My wife spent the night and
all day with him while I went to work. Then, in the evening,
I would go to the hospital after work and she would come home.
However, our daughter needed somebody with her during the day ...
enter one gracious mother in law! The only problem occurred
on the first morning. She came to our house a little too early.
My daughter was getting a little fussy in her crib and little did
I know, my MIL was already in the house. She had started doing
some dishes in the kitchen. I was continuing to get ready after
my shower when, all of a sudden, my MIL appeared in the hallway.
How embarrassing to be caught naked, by her of all people! We
just stood there for a moment, ... both of us like deer caught in
the headlights, ... then she went back to the kitchen. Later
that evening, at the hospital, she told my wife, "I'll see you
tomorrow," and then told me, "And I'll see you tomorrow
too, ... with your pants on!!" What a riot! 1/26
signed - A red faced son-in-law!!
I just wondered if you had
heard the news story, yesterday, about the newlywed husband who hit
his MIL in the head with a frying pan twice. I guess he must
not have hit her hard enough the first time and the mouth was still
moving. 1/25
signed - Hit With Frying
Pan Twice
My MIL came to one of our
parties and held up a dish I made, in front of my parents and our
friends, and asked, "Who made it?" When I said that
I did, she said, "Oh, is it any good (sniffing it and pulling
it away from her nose)?" She often accuses me of doing
things behind her back. She constantly accuses me of anonymously
calling the City Authorities and "snitching" on building
violations (my In-laws own quite a bit of real estate). When
I told her that it wasn't me (why would I hurt them), she said she
had asked the authorities who it was on the anonymous code-a-phone.
She said that they had told her it was a female. So, presto,
in her pea-brained head, it must be me, duh! She has entered
our home, while we were away, using a "spare" key.
Then, she had the nerve to tell me later that I shouldn't be feeding
her son the kinds of food she saw in our pantry. She a also
made a comment about how MY housekeeping was dirty. My strange
BIL, for some reason, likes to call me rude and profane names in public
(no, my husband does not defend me). I have never been rude
to him and I have never retaliated. My MIL has heard some of
this being said to me in public. She told me to my face that
he says these things because I "instigate the problem."
What?!? What problem. But, this is the same son about
whom she goes around town telling everyone she should have had an
abortion! Every year, as I get to know her, I don't know if
I am angry with her, hate her, or pity her. 1/24
signed - Picked On Constantly
My former H's mother was
an absolute lunatic for sure! She made rude comments from the moment
she met me, because she thought I was stealing her baby from her.
When we became engaged, she hugged me, and told me in front
of her whole family that she was so glad he chose me instead of any
of the other girlfriends he has, whatever that means. When
it came time to plan the wedding, she insisted we do all the planning
at her home at the table so she could make rude comments and make
sure we did things her way. She thought the colors that I chose
were "gross" and that the dresses I chose for the bridesmaids
would not flatter my "fat sister". Meanwhile, her
terrible daughter is twice the size of me and my sis put together.
Meanwhile, my twit of a husband said nothing. She once
asked us what my parents were going to do to help us out. I
did not want to tell her, because it was between him and me and my
family. But the h just opened his big mouth freely, and let
her know that they were giving us a down payment for our first home,
and that they would pay for half the wedding. His family could
pay for the other half if they chose, or if not, he and I would.
She told us that, number one, we should spend the money for our house
on flying his relatives from another country, whom she even admitted
he had never met or seen, and he could not even speak to them since
he didn't ever learn their native language, or that if we wanted a
great house we should buy the one next to them. I could not
help but laugh out loud at that, and he thought it was a smashing
idea. She insisted her fat daughter be in the wedding, and
that she and her daughter accompany me to get my wedding dress.
I thought that was an awful idea, since we were not friends, and I
feel it would have been tacky since my own mother and three sisters
wanted to take me there, as well as to a nice lunch and to the park
to take pictures of our last single-ladies day out. She cried
when I told her I had already made plans, and stormed out of the room.
My fat SIL smirked at me and said, "Good job, witch!"
When it came time to pay for the maid's dresses, his mom asked
if we could pay for his sister's as a gift, since she doesn't have
a lot of money, which is a lie! At the rehearsal dinner, they
asked my father how much money he made, how much he paid for his lovely
house and cars, and where he ever got the money to give us for a wedding
and house, and called him "Daddy Warbucks" all night long.
At the reception, his mother cried when I danced with my father, because
she thought it was tacky that she did not have a special dance with
her "little boy". She got drunk, and sat on my father's
lap, kissed my h with an open mouth while everyone was watching, told
the DJ not to play anything but Polka, since that was her hubby's
favorite. She ruined the whole day. My handicapped cousin
was there dancing with my sister, and she made fun of him to, of all
people, his mother! She and her h got so drunk that they could
not drive home, and, instead, rode in the limo with us back to our
hotel and got an adjoining room to ours. It was so devastating
to me. My wedding was ruined, and my h did nothing to stop
it. They watched pay per view pornography in their room all
night long at extremely high volume, and banged on the wall and asked
if we were having fun yet! Can you imagine? It was heartbreaking,
and the marriage was just as bad!
They hit my car one night coming over our house drunk, and begged
me not to file a report. When I did, mommy was arrested and
never forgave me, until she wanted a job for her rotten daughter at
my place of employment, shortly after she was incarcerated.
Needless to say, I never heard from them after that, but my h spent
almost every weekend with them while I sat home alone. I felt
that, since we both worked all week, we should save our weekends for
each other. But his family needed him.
That was the worst of my life, but I should tell you it has a very
happy ending. My new h and IL's are wonderful, grown up, sober
people! They treat us both respectfully, make me feel like
their own daughter, and come visit us often, and never complain!
For our first Christmas together we did not have much money, so they
paid our rent that month so that we would have money to buy each other
nice things. We never even asked them to do that. At
the holidays, they always give us things that go with our interests
and hobbies. I hope all of you who are going through what I
went through wake up, because it only gets worse! You deserve
better. Please don't wait to go out and find it! 1/24
signed - Horrific Wedding,
Horrific Marriage, With Happy Ending
RESPONSE: Horrific Wedding, Horrific Marriage, With Happy
Ending
I am so glad for you that you are happy now. People like that
will never change. She will treat her next dil the same.
Mil's need to let their kids grow up, and not put them in that spot
of putting their sons in the middle. I know. I also went
through that. We do not speak to my mil now, for 5 wonderful
years! 1/27
This site is sooo great.
I don't know why I didn't find it earlier -- it's such great therapy!
This is to share the dog-awful dining habits of my in-laws.
I experienced this BEFORE the movie "The Nutty Professor"
(remember the dinner with the Klumps?). When I got engaged,
my parents invited my in-laws-to-be (MIL, FIL, and BIL) to dinner
with my soon-to-be-husband. It was at a well-known, upscale
restaurant in town. My FIL came dressed in shorts! There
was nothing but complaints from them: the room was too dark to read
the menu, they weren't that hungry, the chairs were not comfy, etc.
My in-laws then started to talk about their family business while
I sat awkwardly with my parents. When they were eating their
meal, my BIL constantly picked his ears and nose (he is in his 30s)
and then inspected every piece that he mined (sticking it god-knows-where).
My FIL and MIL complained about how bad the food was and how much
better the same dish is prepared at another restaurant. They
left most of their meals. When the waiter came by, they said,
"Take this away, it's bad, - restaurant XYZ's is better."
While we ate, my FIL farted (not just discretely, but lift the butt
and fart-type of farts with the sigh of relief). The smell was
killing me. My MIL constantly took her fork, which she had just
pulled out of her mouth, and reached across the table to prod the
food on my plate or my parents' plate to ask, "What is that you're
eating?" When dessert came, my in-laws started the business
conversation again. My husband and his dad began a heated argument
that involved 4-lettered words that were shouted out by his dad.
Oh, did I mention that all 3 of them (FIL, MIL and BIL) belch loudly
(no "excuse ME's"), and talk with their mouths full (yes,
food was flying in my eyes, on my face, my hair, my clothes, in my
dishes, and in my drinks)? Did I also mention that FIL and MIL
constantly brag about their wealth and world travels? FIL, more
than occasionally, said the F-word in casual conversation.
After dinner, all 3 sat back and sucked on their teeth LOUDLY for
about 15 minutes. My FIL was still farting and BIL was still
picking his nose. During most of our dinner, they ate with their
elbows on the table. It's a wonder that we didn't get kicked
out of the restaurant. All I can say is that I thank my lucky
stars that my husband is nothing like his parents or his brother.
This is how it still is at in-law gatherings. Needless to say,
my parents never invited them to dinner again. 1/24
signed - Holy Cow! Save
Me!
RESPONSE: Holy Cow! Save Me!
Dear God, you have my sympathy - I went through exactly the same thing
with my first marriage. Only thing is, it was my FIL, BIL, and
H that did the farting. All of them. Often at the same
time. What's more, they seemed proud of it - the louder and
smellier, the better. It was SUCH a relief to meet the wonderful
man who is my current husband and to realize that not all men are
like that! 1/25 RESPONSE: Holy Cow! Save Me!
I think they made the movie "KLUMPS" after your in-laws.
I feel sorry for you! I guess my advice would be to not eat
with them anymore! Save yourself from all that embarrassment!
1/27
I met my wife when we were
out of college for a couple of years. We were both in our mid
twenties. I am independently wealthy - I made a lot of money
in the dotcom boom a few years ago, but now I work as a police officer.
Although my salary is not big, we both work, have my money, and live
well. This is important to the story.
Soon after we started dating, my wife and I were invited to go over
to her parent's home for dinner. Her mother called her at my
place, just as we were about to leave (a 45 minute drive) and screamed
at her that, "That dirty cop better not bring guns into MY house!".
I had no desire to do so, and never do, unless I'm actually working
at the time. I should've known that this was just the start.
It turns out that MIL HATES police officers. Hates us with a
passion!! She thinks we are all dirty, scruffy, poor people
who just shoot guns and make her day hard! This came about because
SIL's hubby was once arrested for beating a man up in a bar fight!
SIL divorced him because he was violent, but MIL thinks he's the greatest
thing on earth. So, he is still at family functions, still shows
up for weddings, etc. Every time we went over there, she would
call up as we were leaving to "remind" me to leave my gun
at home. The first time she came to my place, she DEMANDED that
I take my gun off in MY house. In the interest of not starting
an argument, I did so. BIG MISTAKE!! She then demanded
that I take my collection of antique weapons off the walls!
These are dueling pistols, Civil War armaments, etc. They don't
shoot, and if they did, we couldn't load them! Plus, it's MY
HOUSE!
Our wedding came off pretty well. MIL didn't want to pay for
a dime (as parents of the bride) but FIL, a really nice guy, overrode
her. MIL called us every night on our honeymoon, but we got
the desk to block all incoming calls.
The real kicker came about a year after we were married. My
partner and I were chasing a suspect through our downtown area.
He had taken a couple of shots at us. He stopped in the middle
of a street after the foot chase, and pointed his gun at us again.
He fired twice, and we fired back, hitting him. Of course, as
we subdued him and called for paramedics and stuff, a crowd formed.
As we were standing a few yards away, talking to IA, a ruckus started
in the crowd. It turns out that a guy had reached over the crime
scene tape and had grabbed the suspect's gun! He gave it to
the lady he was with, and she stuck it in her purse! A couple
of our officers, who were guarding the scene, grabbed both of them
and arrested them. Also, our evidence guy got the incident on
tape! Now, we didn't see any of this, because we were a ways
away. We got back to the station-house, were told the story,
and were told that the suspects said they did it because, "Those
cops shouldn't have shot that guy, and the tall one (me) has always
been dirty." This was a quote from the interrogation tape!
Now, we all got a laugh out of this. We were relieved that it
had turned out OK, and I went to do paperwork. A few minutes
later, I got a call from FIL. It seems that MIL had been picked
up (he figured for a traffic violation), and could I find out where
she was, how much bail was, etc. ... Yep, you guessed it! It
was MIL and ex-BIL who had grabbed the gun! They were being
held in our station-house! After I found this out, I told FIL
that she needed to be arraigned, and that it would be a while!
In the end, MIL and ex-BIL were convicted of tampering with evidence,
and interfering with an investigation, and perjury. FIL divorced
her. She then had the GALL to call up my wife and me and ask
us to lend her money to get her own place! We haven't seen her
in over two years now. FIL is dating a great woman who respects
us. We're all much happier. 1/25
signed - Cop Who Finally
Saw Justice Done!
RESPONSE: Cop Who Finally Saw Justice Done!
This story would be unbelievably hilarious if it weren't so tragic
for your poor wife. What she must have put up with from her
own mother over the years! I'm glad you & wife stuck together
and made it through the rough times. A big thanks (from me)
for keeping our streets safe for all of us -- keep up the good work
(as a hubby and a cop!) J. 1/26 RESPONSE: Cop Who Finally Saw Justice Done!
OMG! What a story! LOL. I must say ... serves her
rude @$$ right! But to pick up the suspect's gun?! Oh
my. Wow ... glad you're rid of her for the most part, if not
completely!!! 1/27
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
