Note: This
story is repeated from last week (along with all responses) due to
recent receipt of a response.
My MIL thinks she owns all the holidays. 4 years ago we made
plans to see my family, for a change, at Thanksgiving. My MIL
called Thanksgiving eve asking when we would be at her house.
I thought my husband had talked to her. Instead, I had to tell
her. She hung up on me, and has not spoken to me since.
Now, she makes reservations and plans for the Holidays in February
so we will not have a chance to make plans with my family. I'm
not sure what burns me more, her behavior, or my husband letting her
get away with it. I have kept quiet for the sake of my marriage
and my kids, but it is eating me up inside. I hate her for keeping
me from my family and controlling me this way. Any suggestions? 6/1
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Holiday
Plans in February" in your response.
RESPONSE: Advice for holiday plans reference story.
If I were you, I would have a long discussion with my husband about
this. Apparently, he is afraid to stand up for you because he
is afraid to hurt his mom's feelings, which is natural. When
dealing with his family he should deal with them. When dealing
with yours, you should deal with your own. My husband used to
do the same. We had lengthy discussions, and he is getting better
at it (maybe because he doesn't want to get involved in any more discussions
- but he is getting better at it). 6/2 RESPONSE: In response to "Holiday Plans in February":
She can't control you if you don't LET her! You are going to
have to set your foot down and tell her you have a right to spend
at least half the holidays with your family - and you DO have the
right to do that. You didn't agree to give up your own family
because you married into this one. Where is your husband in
all this? I assume you're not getting any backup from him.
In any case, things are never going to change until you stand up for
yourself, with or without his help. It's either that, or kiss
your own family goodbye. Your choice. 6/2 RESPONSE: Re holiday plans in February:
My husband & I have a similar problem. His mother plans
everything (meticulously) early. My family is more laid back
& gathers at the last minute. End result: I never
get to see my family. Our compromise is simple. We alternate
holidays with families, regardless of what is going on. For
example, this year she gets Thanksgiving & my family gets Christmas.
Next year, we'll swap. We have to do this for ALL holidays!
Good luck. 6/2 RESPONSE: Response to "holidays in February"
I've had this trick used on me, too. We were invited to Christmas
dinner at bil's by my dh's sil (bil's wife) on January 6th.
We were due to be transferred (dh's work requires him to move often)
that summer, and only knew we'd be living in the same country as bil,
with no idea as to how far away. Of course, I stupidly accepted.
Much later in the same year, when my mother invited us for the same
Christmas, I told her that we'd been "booked" in January and made
"reservations" for the following Christmas at my parent's house.
So, if she wants to book you ahead, either tell her that you already
have plans with your family, and then quickly make some, or, if it's
her "turn" according to you and dh, make sure that you immediately
make some vague plans with your parents for the following year as
soon as you've agreed to spend the upcoming holiday with dh's family.
You might also want to consider booking a few holidays for yourselves
at home so that you can take a break from making everyone else happy,
and just be together.
P.S. We were later notified that we would be moving to a city only
a few hours drive from my family, but 2 days drive from dh's.
We had 6 beautiful years there! I just love a happy ending,
don't you? 6/2 RESPONSE: Re. "Holiday Plans in February"
Your MIL is not keeping you from your family, you're allowing it to
happen. When she tries to make plans in February for something
taking place in November, either tell her it's much too early for
you to make plans, or tell her straight out that you're glad she's
bringing it up, because you'd like to start trading off holidays with
your own family - one year with them, one year with your husband's
family. Have you talked to your husband about this? If
he won't stick up for you, you can take over yourself, and just go
ahead and make whatever plans you want, and tell him what you, he
and the kids will be doing for the holidays. My advice is to
stop letting her control you. She can't do it unless you let
her. Go ahead and talk about things when you feel it tightening
up inside you. Good luck! 6/2 RESPONSE: Re: "Holiday Plans in Feb"
You probably don't need another response about this, but I want to
express some thoughts. I know it's easy to get sucked in to
accommodating your in-laws, at first, because you want them to like
you. But your MIL is completely out of line here! She
can't expect you and your husband to spend every holiday at her house.
That's too rigid, and it is not fair! Life is too short as it
is. What if one of your family members were to (GOD FORBID)
die this year? You would never forgive yourself for not spending
time at the holidays with that loved one. Please do not allow
your MIL to exert control over you anymore. She sounds very
forceful and obstinate, but you should definitely take a stand. 6/4
Note: This
story is repeated from last week due to recent receipt of a response.
I am getting married in six months, and I actually like my future
mother-in-law, but she definitely has her moments. My fiancé
has recently decided to move into an apartment which he will share
with my brother. He is 24 years old, and I think it is about
time he got out. I thought it would be fun and exciting for
both of us to turn a little apartment into what will be our future
home. At least, for a little while. He and his mother
act as if he is moving to a country on the other side of the globe.
They have cried and whined, and I am beginning to worry about marrying
such a "mama's boy". They will be 20 minutes away from each
other, but their behavior makes it seem like they will never see each
other again. She had the nerve to say to me, "This moving out
is going to be hard on him, so you have to be understanding."
All I can think is, "HE'S 24 YEARS OLD! IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME
HE GOT OUT OF YOUR GRASP!" She goes on and on about how he's
her baby, and she has to let him go. "I'm sorry, MIL, I hadn't
realized your son was going to DIE as soon as he moved out of the
house. When is the funeral?" I admit that it is a bit
upsetting, when a person is used to things as they are, and it all
is going to change, but, come on. There is a limit to the pitifulness
a "man" is allowed to display. I should also mention that his
entire family decided it was their business to discuss my use of birth
control after we are married. I think I am going to explode! 6/2 RESPONSE: Response to "Out of Your Grasp"
-
Here is an IMPORTANT question - how is your future hubby reacting
to his mother's inappropriate distress at his moving out? Is
he hanging on to the apron strings, or is it all on her part?
Your future MIL shows signs of possessiveness that could get better
- or worse - after the wedding. Even that can turn out OK as
long as you hubby knows where his first priority is - HIS WIFE! 6/3 RESPONSE: Re: "Out of your Grasp"
My MIL and I got along great before I married her son, too.
But, as soon as we were engaged and were going to move into our own
place, she reacted in a very possessive, "Mother-Knows-Best" manner,
just like your future MIL is doing right now. She offered us
no help whatsoever. My own mother tried to be supportive and
helpful. She gave us a lot of house-wares that she didn't need
anymore, and a house-warming present. His mother didn't give
us a damn thing except for a lot of undue grief! Unfortunately,
the situation only deteriorated after we were married. She became
very nosy and intrusive, in order to re-gain control of her son.
She constantly interfered in our lives, with the aim of making us
miserable. She made the worst of every situation with her pushy
attitude. I don't mean for any of this to sound daunting!
I just think you should be prepared for the worst-case scenario.
When your future MIL made that self-righteous statement about how
you should be understanding, because being away from home will be
hard on her son, that is something my MIL would have said to me.
By all means, marry him, but keep in mind that his mother could be
a potential problem. 6/4
Note: This
story is repeated from last week due to recent receipt of a response.
I wrote a while ago about how my MIL took me aside to blame me, because
she said my husband had gained weight since we had been married.
(When, in reality, he had LOST weight, and his complexion had cleared
up!) He had been overweight and very unhealthy on her awful
diet, and we really tried to make improvements after our marriage.
Anyway, what I forgot to write was, EVERY TIME MY HUSBAND WENT TO
VISIT HER, SHE'D SEND DONUTS HOME WITH HIM!!! And then she wanted
to give ME a talking-to (on false premises!) about his weight.
Isn't she deluded? 5/31
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Isn't
She Deluded?" in your response.
RESPONSE: Re: Isn't she deluded?
Yes, she is! My MIL is the same way, only she comments on how
my husband has lost weight since we got married. She thinks
I make him so miserable that he won't even eat! She also makes
underhanded comments that she thinks our marriage is going to fail.
I realized a long time ago that she's just jealous. Don't take
to heart anything your deluded MIL blames you for. They blame-cast
simply because it makes them feel good. 6/4
I have posted to the
Message Board before, but
I would like to try to put some of the "highlights" of my dreadful
history here.
Where can I start? I have been married about three and a half
years, we've been together about six years, and I've had trouble with
the old battle axe since day 1. For starters, I wasn't good
enough for her son, since my family didn't have as much money as his
family. She tried in every way possible to keep us apart, making
my husband go places with her after we went to church, instead of
me and him going somewhere or spending time together. She threw
in little jabs, when we got engaged, about the size of my ring, which
was a lot bigger than hers. During the summer before we got
married, things got just horrible, with her trying her best to keep
us apart. The month before we were married, my husband (then
fiancé) and I went on a small vacation, because we knew we wouldn't
be able to after we got married. He didn't tell her about it,
because he knew she'd have one of her classic fits and do everything
possible to keep us from going. Well, she called my mother to
see if she knew where we were, and mom told her we had gone to the
beach. She whined and b*tched about it for months, and has still
brought it up recently.
There was also every problem imaginable over the wedding arrangements.
She called me to ask me how many I had figured for the rehearsal dinner,
since it was her responsibility to pay for it. Well, the number
I gave her must have almost caused a heart attack. I figured
that the members of the wedding party would be there, and their spouses.
Well, she didn't want to invite any of the spouses, just wanted to
invite those she thought should be there. This was her only
expense, and 5 or 6 more people would not have been a horrible burden
to this woman who has plenty of money, and likes everyone to know
it. She also changed my flower arrangements, specifically the
corsages, because the colors clashed with her prissy peach dress.
She had no business doing this, because I paid for the flowers.
But since her sorry a** is so well known in the community, the flower
shop people believed her when she told them that I asked her to change
things. Well, peach clashed with the WHOLE WEDDING! My colors
were burgundy and white, and I think she wore that dress just to try
to stand out and make a statement that she wouldn't conform to what
everyone else was doing, and to let me know that she didn't like me.
She even told me, about 2 weeks before the wedding, that we should
call off the whole thing because it was a "farce". I had two
wedding showers, one by my mom and one of her friends, and then one
from the old MIL, so that she could show off. After I had opened
my gifts, and thanked everyone, she stood up in front of everybody
there and said, "You all have stood by me through so much (she was
referring to her husband passing away). I just hope you'll stand
by me through this." Is that unbelievable, or what? I
thought this was supposed to be a happy time. She turned it
into a pity party for herself! Arrrgggghhh!!!
Well, wedding day arrives. She runs around generally annoying
everybody. She aggravated me to death about when the cake would
arrive, asked me every 15 minutes when it would be there. Then,
when I had my pictures taken, the photographer asked me to put my
engagement ring back on my left hand for the pictures. No sooner
than we had finished, she says in front of everybody, "Why are you
wearing your engagement ring on that hand?" By that time I didn't
care, and I let her have it right there. She also completely
ignored my whole family, even when they spoke to her. She sat
in the church pew and cried, and acted like it was the end of the
world. I'm surprised she didn't hide in the car and follow us.
After we were married awhile, every time we had an argument she would
encourage my husband to "just give it up and come home." Things
finally got so bad that I left him last year and filed for divorce.
During this time, I was in another relationship (the rebound guy),
but so was my husband, which he conveniently never told her.
We managed to work things out though, and got back together 3 months
later. About a week after I came back, I became pregnant.
He told her 2 months later, and she had another one of those fits.
She said, "You ought to get a blood test, I doubt it's yours, you
don't need to raise it." Well, I told them both that if it had
been with the other man, I sure as hell wouldn't have come back, because
I'd have been much better off financially. She slowed down some
then, but still persisted that the baby wasn't his ... until about
4 months before our son was born. Now, all of a sudden, she
writes me this letter, asking me to forgive her, that she has "seen
the light." Excuse me, but I didn't just fall off the turnip
truck. Anyone with half a brain could see that she's after the
baby now. This woman is supposed to be a Christian, she teaches
Sunday School; therefore, shouldn't she have seen the light YEARS
ago??
I just don't buy any of it. I am definitely limiting her contact
with my son. He doesn't need to learn that kind of crap.
And she can't express emotions. She thinks you show someone
you love them by buying them more things than anyone else. How's
that for warped?
Well, that's about it, I'm sure there's more, but it escapes my mind
at the moment. 6/3
My husband and I have
been married for five years. When we first met, my MIL was great
to me. My MIL helped us whenever we needed it, and vice versa.
Things changed once my husband and I had our first child. Once
he was born she became very controlling possessive of him. She
was always in my house offering to cook for me and do my house chores.
Sometimes she didn't even ask to cook, she would just bring the food
to my house. She started telling me how to dress and groom my
son. If his pants were too long, she would cut the bottoms off
instead of hem them. Every time I held the baby in my arms she
would hover over me or try to take the baby away. My husband
and I had to put her on a babysitting schedule, because she would
constantly call me on a daily basis saying "When are you going to
bring the baby over?" Furthermore, with the schedule he has
to train her, because she will not come one minute late, but yet she
will try to keep in there over time. Any suggestions with the
over-bearing mother-in-law? 6/2
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "MIL
Needs Babysitting Schedule" in your response.
RESPONSE: MIL Needs Babysitting Schedule.
I know the feeling. After I gave birth to my daughter, we invited
MIL to stay for a few days while FIL was away. My MIL has a
habit of redecorating, and doing other miscellaneous chores, while
at my house (believing her way is the best way!). While I was
out, my MIL folded laundry in the dryer for me. I thanked her,
and I refolded some of the items the way I PREFER. I had to
go out again, leaving MIL ALONE (BIG MISTAKE) ... when I came back,
and was placing laundry back in its proper place, I found out that
my MIL REFOLDED everything!!
She definitely enjoys being the matriarch of the family, and feels,
now that she's a grandmother, we should cater to her, and not keep
to my daughter's schedule. She suggests that I drop my daughter
off at her house while I go to work (never mind that it is a 1/2 hour
out of the way - back and forth); she and her husband are RETIRED
and have all the time in the world to pick up our daughter or visit.
Go figure! 6/3
My story should make all
of you feel better, for I could never imagine someone could dare do
this. My mother-in-law made me sit in the back seat of the car,
and she took the front seat next to my husband on the day of my wedding.
We got married in court on a Friday, and on a Sunday when we were
driving to where the reception was being held, I had to sit in the
back seat of the car with my nice dress, and she the wife-mother sat
in the front. The sad part was that neither me nor my husband
realized it, 'til way after the wedding, since she was in control
of everything, and she used to take the front seat of the car whenever
I visited her, so I got used to it at the day of my wedding.
This might make all of you feel better. 6/2
A patient asked, "Doctor,
I feel so sick. I have a headache & a stomachache, and I
also feel an irregular heart-beat, and sometimes feel very painful.
I must have something wrong. My health used to be very good,
and I seldom had these problems."
Doctor: "When did it start?"
Patient: "Nearly 2 months ago."
Doctor: "Are you married?"
Patient: "Yes, but why?"
Doctor: "When?"
Paient: "2 months ago."
Doctor: "You must be infected by (M vs. D)IL. It's urgent!"
Patient: "What's that?"
Doctor: "Most married women's common illness. But it's a very
difficult virus. Very difficult to get rid of it. It is
very harmful, and can kill. Once you get married, it will start
to infect your brain or heart, and spread over your whole body.
You might become physically exhausted and collapse at the end.
But, don't worry. Now there is a formula at www.motherinlawstories.com.
Take it at home/office at least once per day. Do more exercise.
Take more vitamins of "Men are From Mars, Women are From
Venus". Adjust your H diet properly. You will
recover very soon. Good luck. 6/2
I don't know if it was
"wedding nerves" or just my MIL, but we clashed on everything about
the wedding! It started immediately after the engagement when
my MIL wanted me to have my husband's brother's wife in the wedding.
She left subtle little hints like, "She loves you so much,"
and, "She wants a new dress." ... I stuck to my guns,
and had my friends as bridesmaids! My SIL paid me back, though,
by wearing solid red to the wedding - I guess I should have told her
what to wear!
The ultimate argument with my MIL came on the day before the wedding.
We were having over 200 guests, and I wanted to have a seating arrangement
with table cards. Obviously, my MIL disagreed, and whined about
my decision. It was horrible! I gave my MIL plenty of
time (a whole week) to provide me with her list of tables so she could
seat her friends accordingly (as I didn't want to guess where to seat
them) ... she threw a tantrum! My MIL actually said, "My
friends are adults and can seat themselves. They don't need
a seating arrangement!" ... to which I responded - "If your
friends are adults, then they will have manners and expect a seating
chart for a group that large!"
I guess she got the last laugh - I kept requesting her seating list,
which she finally gave to me at 10:30 p.m, after the rehearsal dinner
on the night before the wedding. I was up until 2:00 a.m. finishing
the seating chart! Where is Emily Post when you need her? 6/2
Note: This
story is repeated from last week due to recent receipt of a response.
For the first ten years that my husband and I were married, we lived
in a different state than my in-laws. But then my husband's
job had us transferred to our home state, not too far from my in-laws.
By this point, we had 3 wonderful children, and we THOUGHT they would
be happy to finally get to spend some time with their only grandchildren.
We would invite his folks over, but they were always busy with my
husband's sister and her husband, who lived somewhat close by.
We tried going to their house to see them, and once again, they were
always busy with her and her husband. After we had lived there
about a year, my SIL got pregnant with her first child. It was
almost as if her child was the only grandchild they had. They
completely ignored the fact that they already had 3 other grandkids.
They would drive right by our house driving to their daughter's house,
and never stop to see us, their only son and his family, who had been
out of state for years!! The in-laws made it a point to go over
to the SIL house at least every other week to see the new grandchild,
but I can count on 2 hands how many times they stopped at our house
in the 5 years that we lived there. About 2 years after we were
transferred to our home town, we became pregnant with our 4th child.
We did not do this to get attention from the in-laws, but we did think
they might possibly stop in to see the kids after the baby came.
But things did not change at all. My FIL did not even go to
the hospital to see her. He did not see the baby until she was
almost a week old. All in all, my in-laws are not bad people.
Most of the time we get along just fine, with the exception of minor
disagreements. I just feel sorry for my husband and kids.
He is very upset with his folks, because it seems that they replaced
him with their new SIL, who didn't move away. And I know the
kids notice how much time their grandparents spend at their cousin's
home. Why do we have to be punished for moving away after we
got married? We had to go where the job was. Any comments
for me?
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "So Close,
Yet So Far" in your response.
RESPONSE: "So close, yet so far"
I know exactly how you feel, and it was a wonderful feeling to be
able to relate to someone else about this subject.
My husband and I have decided to keep our distance from the in laws.
We now see them once or twice a year.
My goal is to protect my children from the constant comparisons, even
about weight, with the other grandchildren. Life is too short
in my eyes. My husband grew up making fun of all his cousins,
and his mother would even talk about the siblings to one another.
I pointed out to my husband that, he couldn't possibly believe she
didn't talk him and us and our children like she does with everyone
else. And it finally clicked in his mind that she probably does.
We now are very selective about what we "share" with her regarding
our life and the children. Your family has to come first, and the
in-laws are secondary.
She has become very distant from us, and I know that's because we
have a life outside her. My husband and I have become much stronger
for standing up to her and letting her know "our rules". 6/2
There have been a lot of
stories lately involving miserable holidays, and the feeling of obligation,
etc. That's something I think of a lot, too. I wonder
if it would really be better just to do exactly what we WANT during
holidays (I don't mean inconsiderately and selfishly, but not just
forcing ourselves to do these miserable things because someone else
wants us to jump through their hoops) -- despite other people's expectations
and the hoops they want us to jump through. What if we just
did what felt right to US, and spent time with who we felt moved to
spend time with? Why do we have to do this stuff that makes
us miserable? Does it really get us anywhere? Do our in-laws
LIKE us better if we give in and go to the events they want us to,
or do we just resent each other more? Would we like each other
better if we didn't do stuff we didn't want to do? I know sometimes
it just "feels right" to go to a holiday dinner or event (even with
in-laws) -- like, we have the gut feeling that we SHOULD. But,
what about other times when we don't have that feeling, and we just
dread it, and utterly hate the thought of it? I have in-laws
who are basically nice, normal people, but even they can be overbearing
and unpleasant with their invitations -- like, you don't feel that
they're inviting you because they LOVE you, and want you there --
my sister-in-law has these big, Martha Stewart meals, and it seems
more about HER having a sense of accomplishment than about any love
for us or making us happy, or even making us feel welcome. I
really am terribly uncomfortable going to her house, and I really
don't think doing it to please her gets me anywhere. She just
complains about everyone anyway (the closer they are to her, the more
constantly she complains about them), and I feel like the more I stay
away from her, the less ammunition I give her to complain about.
What do you think? I do care about doing the right thing, but
it's hard for me to understand why I should be making myself miserable
just so someone else can feel good. 6/2
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Why
Be Miserable?" in your response.
RESPONSE: RE: Why be miserable?
I totally agree with you. A lot of us do spend time with our
"in-laws" because we feel it is our duty to do so. I think it's
because, as women, we are sympathetic in nature. We don't want
to hurt our husbands by hurting his family. But I've found that
whenever I try to please everyone, I don't please anyone -- especially
myself! If your SIL is just having these Martha Stewart dinners
to show off her culinary skills, or to prove what a terrific hostess
she is, I wouldn't attend them. She obviously has her own selfish
motives. 6/3
This website is so addictive!
Could you guys use a laugh? Here's a little trick I played on
my MIL, and it still makes me grin when I think of it: My MIL
is the NOSIEST person! She is also one of those people who thinks
men need to be constantly nagged and kept in line -- she has no shame
about going through her husband's pockets and stuff. I could
go on and on giving examples, but you can imagine how she is when
her husband answers the phone. You can hear her aggressively
screaming in the background in her distinctive, doll-like, childish
voice, "WHO IS IT? WHO IS IT?" She is so nosy and overly
involved with us, too -- she asks my husband stuff like, "Have you
taken your SHOWER yet today?" etc., etc. You know. Anyway,
one day they were here for lunch, and the phone rang. We were
all sitting outside in the yard, and I had the feeling it was just
driving her CRAZY that our phone was ringing, that she wanted to find
out who was calling! At least, she thought I should be dying
to know! So, just to drive her nuts, I sat there and let it
ring, like I couldn't care less who was calling! I bet that
drove her bonkers! (I'm sure it was probably just a telemarketer,
anyway, and we do have a machine to take our calls.) Ha, ha, ha!!!! 6/1
My MIL is so big, we had
to stop buying her Malcom X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying
to land on her. 6/1
Sorry, I'm not trying to
advertise a movie, but it does help all of us - DIL & wife.
"The Story of Us" - with
Michelle Pfeiffer & Bruce Willis.
The most impressive message of the movie was when the family counselor
said, "Once did we marry, there were 6 persons in our bed - the
couple and their parents." My experience tells me, if you are
living together with your in-law family, whoever is in the house will
be in your bed too. So, it will not be just only 6 persons.
So sad. My mother is wise - she told me when I started my college
life that if I chose a husband-to-be, to remember I was choosing his
family and all of his relatives. Now I know the exact meaning,
and I'm sorry that I was not a good listener, but I've learned. 6/1
When our baby was born
8 months ago, my MIL and FIL proudly referred to themselves as the
baby's "Mom" and "Dad." Right in front of me, they would cheerily
ask baby if she'd like to be held by "Mom" or would she like to come
to "Dad." When I finally recovered from my disbelief, I corrected
the FIL and said, "You mean GRANDdad!", and he replied, "Well,
it takes a village." So, anybody want to remind me how to kill
a vampire? 6/1
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Vampire"
in your response.
RESPONSE: "Vampire"
I would keep on doing just what you did, correct them every time they
pull that mom and dad stuff. They are the grandparents, and
should be addressed as so. My MIL had the gall to ask me to
let her adopt our daughter, that she would give her a great future
and be able to provide college for her. Of course, not in front
of my husband. Nothing is ever said in front of my husband.
So, my advice to you is stick to your guns !! 6/2
I have read that the Bible
says "a man shall leave his mother for his wife" on this site.
But, I'm sure that most husbands will not believe this, even if they
are Christian. At least mine did not. I went to a family
counselor alone when I was in trouble with my in-law family.
I asked my husband to come with me for the second appointment.
He refused. Perhaps he knew what would happen. So the
husband is the real problem of all. 6/1
A few years after receiving
prank calls, my father decided to get a caller I.D. It was great
at first, because it told who was phoning, so I could answer the phone
in different ways because I knew who it was. Often, people on
the other end of the phone would say, "How did you know it was
me?" I'd wind them up and say that I could tell by the
way the phone rang! It was great! However, all good things
have a downfall. One day the phone rang, and I recognized it
as being my mate. So I picked up the phone and said, "Good
Morning, ACME Penis Extensions" only to be met by the voice of
his mother! I didn't know what to say! She questioned
me for a while, but I was so embarrassed! She wanted to know
where my mate was. I gave her some silly reason, and we hung
up. The next time I saw her I went red and we laughed about
it!!! 5/31
My MIL is a nightmare.
She is very controlling and a manipulator. My husband was married
before, and has two children by his first wife. Before my husband
and I got married, she tried to convince him that he was just with
me on the rebound, and tried to tell him not to marry me. She
was very angry because his job moved us closer to my family before
we were married, so I moved up to my parents so that my mother and
I could get ready for the wedding. She said that my parents
were trying to steal us away from her. Eventually, my future
husband moved in with my family and I for the month before we got
married, and started his new job. His mother was furious.
We had our own house, but I was brought up not to "live" with a man
before we were married. We moved in after our wedding.
She was upset because I didn't ask her to do anything for our wedding.
This was a big LIE. I asked her to do a lot of things, but every
time I asked her to do something she had a million excuses why she
couldn't be bothered, so I stopped asking for her help.
Two months after we got married I had a bad miscarriage. She
didn't call to see if I was okay, or anything. My husband tried
to tell her that he wanted her to come up and see us, but she refused.
She was angry because my mother stayed with my husband and I in the
hospital. (I was in the hospital for a week because I almost
bled to death.)
About 4 months after my husband and I got married, his job took him
to Oklahoma. She was devastated that we weren't moving back
to where she was. It was ridiculous. So far, I hadn't
done anything right. She called one day while we were there
and told my husband that she had been having bill collectors calling
her about some bills that my FIL didn't know about. And, since
my husband has his father's name, she told my FIL they were my husband's
bills. She asked my husband to lie and tell him that they were.
Then, she told him that if he didn't lie for her, that his father
would divorce her.
A year later, his job moved us directly into the town she was in.
I dreaded it from the start, but I am totally devoted to my husband.
We decided to sell my husband's truck. She said that she would
help us get it sold, because she knew a few men that were looking
for this type of vehicle. I knew this would bite us in the rear.
Anyway . . . we accepted her offer of help. She sold the truck
a week later and didn't tell us. She kept the money and paid
off a tax debt with it. When we noticed the truck was gone,
we asked her about it. She said that it was at my BIL's house.
When we asked him about it, he lied for her about it. We went
looking for the truck. We never found it. That night we
called her and told her that we knew that she was lying to us.
She finally admitted it. She did this to her own son.
Can you believe that?
She talks terrible about us all of the time. She talks bad about
all of her sons and daughters in law. It's stupid. It's
like she would love to be the only family we have. She would
be happy if I walked up to her right now and said that I hated my
family.
There is just so much, I can't even cover it all. I just need
help on how to deal with this kind of control. We haven't spoke
in a couple of months, and I'm happy that way. I just feel bad
for my kids. They love her, and I try to keep them out of the
middle of it. 5/31
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "MIL
Took Truck" in your response.
Note: This
story is repeated from 1/15/00 (including all responses) due to recent
receipt of a response.
I have been married to my high school sweetheart for ten months now.
I love him very much, but I am considering leaving him because of
his mother. She is overbearing, manipulating, and an overall
witch. I can actually say that I hate her. She constantly
calls or comes over. Our first mistake was buying a house less
than 1/2 of a mile away from her. Each time she comes over she
has some pearl of wisdom that she thinks I can't do without.
Everything has to be her way or she gets mad. She has even tracked
us down while we were at a friend's house on more than one occasion
just to check on my husband.
My sister-in-law recently had a baby. I went over to her house
after she came home from the hospital to help her get things ready.
When my mother in law came in I was holding the baby. She turned
to me and said, "Don't you get any ideas. I don't think
that I can handle you having a baby right now"!! As if
it is her decision.
Here is an example of some of the things she has done. When
we first got married she brought over a cordless phone with caller
ID. I thanked her for the gift. She insisted that we hook
it up right then. It wasn't until a few weeks later I found
out why she was so persistent on hooking it up. I was cooking
supper and had to go to her house for some milk. As I stood
there waiting on her to pour it for me, I heard my husband's voice
coming in over their scanner. She had been listening to our
phone conversations through that nice little cordless phone she had
bought us.
I am constantly defending myself, with no help from my husband.
I have never been one to be ran over and I am not about to let her
put me down on a daily basis. If anyone has any advice I would
really appreciate it. The only thing that I can think of is
leaving, although I love him more than anything. I can't live like
this anymore.
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Cordless
Phone Caper" in your response.
RESPONSE: To Cordless Phone Caper, First order of business
MOVE. You need to be farther away from MIL, preferably in another
city. I have had much better luck with my husband when I am
not putting down his mother. But, he once found me crying over
one of her pranks, and then he did step in. Apparently, it was
not okay with him for her to hurt my feelings. So, tell your
husband how this hurts you, without sounding like you are attacking
her. BUT, once again, I must tell you that the only thing that
has worked for us was some distance (geographical). Good
luck.
RESPONSE: Cordless Phone Caper Response
First, you need to tell your husband how you feel about his mother,
and he needs to support you! He should be able to talk with
his mother to make her understand that what she says or does upsets
you. Or, it would be good for you to tell her you appreciate
her help, but talk over what troubles you with her behavior.
It's best to confront an issue when it happens, or else the feelings
will just fester and build up. Please don't end your marriage.
The best things in life (your husband) is worth fighting for.
Hang in there with your MIL. I know she does and says things
that are insensitive. We previously had difficulties with my
MIL, and my husband stood up for our marriage. All the hard
times just made our marriage stronger, because we worked through it
together. Now, over 3 yrs. later, we get along with my in-laws,
and probably have a better relationship now than we could have ever
had previously. It will work out for you if you and your husband
work through it together. Don't give up hope!
RESPONSE: to the gal with the cordless phone, you could
use my favorite way of getting out of using it without being one bit
rude. What you say is that the batteries always go dead.
And, if that doesn't work, there are a few others. Just tell
her that either you don't get a good reception all the time on it,
or that if the power goes out you would feel more comfortable having
a phone that works - because once power is out the phone is dead on
cordless ones. Or, the one I use most, tell her to get lost
and mind her own affairs. You should ask her if she really wants
her son to be happy. If the answer is yes, tell her that her
interfering is causing a huge problem, and that you are on the verge
of leaving him if it continues. Once the blame for a true love
break up is at her feet she will back off.
RESPONSE: Re: Cordless Phone Caper: I suggest good
ol' southern charm...even if you're not from the south. When
she makes a rude comment to you, smile your biggest, warmest smile,
and in your sweetest tone say, "Why on earth would you say a
thing like that?" Maybe even follow with a little chuckle.
Then, end it right there. She won't know what to say or do.
When she eavesdrops try, "I can't imagine why you would be interested
in our conversations." Again with the smiling charming
thing. If this doesn't end her behavior, at least you'll be
smiling and you'll know you are most definitely the better woman (everyone
else will too, including your husband). Good Luck!
RESPONSE: Speak to an attorney in your state. Some
states may have laws regarding your MIL's actions. After talking
to a lawyer, see where you stand, and threaten to do something about
it if your husband won't. I took the same abuse from my MIL
with no help from my husband, until one day she let it all out!
He works away from home every other week. I had to cry and worry
the whole week. I had told him on the phone, and when he got
home he went down there and told her a thing or two. This was
two years ago. She and I have not spoken since. I have
not been happier. Once I knew for sure how she felt about me
I could care less. My philosophy is, "Unless you ?help?
me and pay my bills, I don't care what your opinion is!"
I have my children and husband to worry about. He knew how his
mother was, because he waited 6 months to introduce us. His
brother introduced his pregnant bride-to-be a week before they married!
So, what I am saying is, stand up and show her who you are!
RESPONSE: cordless caper -
I have been in your situation, and your husband is actually the one
in the middle. You have two options put her in her place:
tell her you cannot replace her, nor are you trying, but you are what
makes him happy, and to back off. You never want to make the
husband choose, but if you're truly in love he will stand by you in
the end, either by standing up to his mother or by making sure you
are distanced and protected from her. Or second, you can run
away leaving both you and hubby heartbroken. Your choice ...
Just remember, it's a hard choice for him also. After all, it
is his mother.
RESPONSE: RE: "Cordless Phone Caper"
You know, I think we have the same MIL. You know what, your
husband sounds just like mine. Here is what I did, I had our
phone number changed and didn't give it to any trouble makers in the
family. He obviously is not going to stand up for you, so stand
up for yourself. That is exactly what I had to do. After
so much torment, I decided enough is enough!!
RESPONSE: RESPONSE TO CORDLESS PHONE CAPER.
I have two words for you . . . MOVE AWAY. 1/2 miles is way too
close. I have been with my boyfriend, fiancé, whatever, for
6 years, and I can honestly say, with regards to his "mommy", I have
never in my life wanted someone dead before. This person is
very controlling. My fiancé defends her by saying, "she just
has a need to be involved in things," and I tell him, "I have
a need for her not to know". I have fought with him on this
for 6 long years. I have quoted the Bible where it says that
"a man shall leave his mother for his wife". We have been to
therapy, where different therapists have told him that the wife comes
first. And, after 6 years, I can tell you that he is not going
to change. You have to learn to deal with it, or move on.
Remember, YOU come first. If hubby won't put you first, you
have to put yourself first. 5/31 RESPONSE: Response to cordless phone caper.
My husband and I have been married for five years. I also have
a mother-in-law who is very controlling and has done something similar
to that in the past. We also live near her. We are selling
our house because she used to come over a lot. I have confronted
her with her hideous behaviors, no matter what they are and where
she does them, and stood up for myself in front of her. As it
stands, she is not allowed in my house anymore, and if she harasses
me about it I will take an action. I tell my mother-in-law personally,
and I am very out spoken with her. We are going to be moving
an hour a way. I have had long discussions about this with my
husband, and he has gotten better at it in the way of standing up
for me (probably because he doesn't want to hear me anymore). 6/2
Note: This
story is repeated from last week due to recent receipt of an additional
chapter.
I have been with my fiancé for over five years. Before we met,
he was a shy quiet guy. After we met, he opened up and grew
up a lot. I knew she (my MIL) did not like me. She would
always make sly comments like, "If he keeps spending money on
you like this, he will have to get another job." She said this
because he bought me a ticket to an amusement park on a date.
Well, after he met me, he started having a life, and she lost control
over him. She tried to break us up many times. He could
not call me on their phone, or come over to my house when driving
his car (their car, which he had been driving for 4 years).
They also (my mil and fil) gave him various scenarios where I would
ruin his life. I was pissed that they were trying to break us
up. So, there has always been tension. But since we have
been together so long, I thought she liked me. There were always
those comments. You know, the kind with the double meaning,
one for me and one for her son. I have tried to ignore them,
and even thought maybe I was imagining them. My fiancé is forgetful,
so I am the one who reminds him of his family's birthdays and events,
and helps him pick out gifts. She expects us to be there for
her b'day, his step father's b'day, his half sister's b'day, Christmas,
Thanksgiving and more. She does not ask if we can come, she
just calls and demands our presence. Well, since she kicked
him out about 3 years ago, my parents took him in. We now live
with my parents, about an hour from her house. We now live closer
to his father. Well, we have been there for every event for
the last five years. On holidays, we juggle between her house,
my family, and his father's house. This past month was her birthday.
She called with her usual summons. My fiancé had an important
school project due (he is in college) and had to meet with his group
on that day. So he called her the night before and told her
we would drop by and see her, and give her her gift, but we could
not stay for dinner. I have a lot of health problems, and spent
the day in a wheelchair on pain pills (usually I can walk, or at least
walk with a cane). We still went over to her house. My
pills wore off, and I was on the verge of passing out. We had
been there for about 2 hours, and I finally asked if we could go home.
As we left, I noticed her acting funny. Later that night, she
called him up and started in on the "you don't care for me"
sob story, then she started in on me. That's when he hung up.
He called back another day to try to talk to her. The conversation
last two hours. I knew she did not like me, but I did not know
she hated me. She said some very hurtful stuff: I am not
a real person because I cannot work (because I am sick, I had to stop
working for now); I am dragging him down; I am defective
because I am disabled. My parents only let him stay with them
because he is my only hope at a future, and a lot that is worse, and
it still hurts to think about. She once e-mailed my dad that
she wants him to come to his senses and come home to her. She
NEVER WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN. I know she will do all in her power
to break us up before we are legally married. We already consider
ourselves so except for the marriage license. Luckily, he is
with me on this. But I really hurt. I knew that she may
never have accepted me, but I did not know it was that bad.
His sister's b'day is this week. I made sure he had the day
off so he could go see her. We even changed our vacations so
we would be in town. I bought her gift and card, but I am not
going with him. I can't face her after what she said.
But, I know if I don't, she will say I don't care; if I do,
she will make a scene. I don't know what to do. She will
not break us up. In fact, she is bringing us closer. But,
how do I handle her? I don't want to cause a rift between them.
CONTINUATION: This is an add on to she is making us closer
We went over for his sister's b'day. She did not answer the
door. She just sat there and watched TV with her back to us.
I knew his sister told her not to make a scene. His sis opened
her gift and we had cake. His mom talked to us a little, but all
the comments were snide and double-edged. We went to see his
sister's room, and she disappeared. It was time to go.
His sis had a school event and she had to leave, so we walked out
to go. He wanted to say goodbye to his mom. So his
sis called her outside. She walked right past us and ignored
us. She got in the car and started it. We might as well
have not been there. I am glad she did not make a scene, but
I also know she feels the same. I just found out she is verbally
abusive to his younger sister, and is a complete basket case, with
an easily triggered temper. I know now that things will never
be resolved. It is going to be hard. 5/31
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Problem
MIL Brings Us Closer" in your response.
Note: This
story is repeated from last week (including all responses) due to
recent receipt of a response.
I am so glad I found this website. It makes me feel a little
bit better to see that I am not alone. My mother-in-law definitely
deserves to be in this column. I have been married to her son
for 28 years, so you can imagine how many stories I could tell.
When we were first married and bought a house she decided she needed
a new house too, and bought one three doors down. She would
come down every day and go through the house and yard and pick, pick,
pick. You all know what I mean. She would always act as
if she meant to be helpful, and this is what I wanted to believe,
but over time I began to understand that she enjoyed hurting me in
little ways. If I said anything about it, she would just deny
it, and my husband would tell me not to be such a b*tch. When
our son was born, she doubled her efforts at meddling and criticizing.
I know I was a good mother and have good common sense, but she had
no respect for my decisions in caring for my son. Every time
he sneezed she would insist that I take him to the doctor. I
thought that, her being older and more experienced, that I'd better
do it. Soon, I realized that my judgment was better, and she
was just paranoid and overprotective. She spoiled him with too
many toys and clothes, and when I would tell her that I didn't want
her to buy so much, rather than take my wishes into consideration,
she would just go behind my back and do it anyway. My husband
would just say, "Well, she just loves him so much" (thanks a
lot). When he (my son) was about to turn sixteen, he was not
doing too well in school, and was starting to cut classes. It
was during this time that MIL came to our house, and announced that
she had told our son that, as soon as he got his driver's license,
she was going to buy him a car! I couldn't believe it!
Even my husband told her "no way". She didn't buy
it until a few years later, but, of course, our son thought we were
the bad guys. Over the years we have had our ups and downs.
Somehow, I have managed to get along with this horrible woman.
As I read over what I have written, I realize that I haven't really
conveyed how nasty she can be. She can appear to be so good,
but there's always this subtle wickedness underneath. After
my son grew up and moved out, we were actually getting along fairly
well. Then, MIL had to have heart surgery, a triple bypass.
She was in the hospital two weeks, one week waiting to have the surgery,
and another week waiting to have a pacemaker. I was at the hospital
every day with my husband. I may not like her, but this is serious,
right? It's time to put aside personal problems. So, I
was there every day, talking to doctors and nurses, and watching videos
on home care after the surgery. She asked me to bring rollers
and curl her hair. I thought, "Ok, she's in the hospital,
I'll do it." By the way, she managed to aggravate almost
every worker in the hospital, either by asking for special treatment,
or acting like a baby. Well, she comes through all this just
fine, and is released to come home. I told my husband that one
of us should probably stay with her for the first night or two, and
he agreed. Then, she said to me that she had told my husband
that she wanted to stay at our house for a "few days". I said,
"Sure." I thought that would actually be easier for me.
I also thought it would be for less than a week. A few days
means 3 or 4, right? This was my big mistake. The first
day home I totally waited on her hand and foot. She was kind
of weak, and just getting home I thought even she deserved a little
TLC. Each day I tried to get her to do a little more for herself,
and couldn't understand why she seemed to be dragging her feet.
The visiting nurse told her she should be up and about doing for herself.
On day two the physical therapist showed her how to get of bed and
she did just fine. Then, the place on her arm where the IV needle
had been became inflamed. This was about equivalent to a bee
sting, but she used it as an excuse to not be able to get out of bed.
The next time the PT came she asked MIL how she was doing getting
out of bed. MIL said, "I can't because of my arm". The
PT said, "But you were doing fine the other day." MIL said,
"You don't know how you hurt me!" You should have seen the look
on the PT's face. After about 10 days of this crap, I suggested
to MIL that she didn't really need to stay at our house. She
could go home, and I would come down every morning and do whatever
she needed, and that she could come to our house every night for dinner.
She didn't even answer. She just looked down at her lap.
So, a couple of days later we went down to her house and I spent about
4 hours cleaning the refrigerator, doing laundry, and so on.
She was browsing in her closet for more clothes to take (apparently
no intention of going home any time soon) so I repeated my suggestion.
Again, no answer. So we went back to my house, and as we came
in and she passed my husband she pulled a few fake tears out of her
bag of tricks, and I hear my husband say, "You can stay!" Well,
that was it. I blew up. I said that this was ridiculous.
She did the tears. My husband yelled at me. She stayed.
The next day her brother called and I told him what happened.
I don't know what he said to her, but she then decided that she could
go. She said that my husband had agreed that she could stay
until after her doctor appointment. That would have been a month.
I tried to help her out after she went home, but after a while she
was so nasty that I just had as little to do with her as possible.
One day, a couple of months later, she asked me why I hardly spoke
to her, and so I told her that I thought that being so nasty and using
the tears on my husband, after all I had done for her, was the meanest
thing she could have done. She said she didn't do that!
Well, so much for talking things out. If I ever had any doubts
about her being a liar they were gone now, and I told her so.
Now, for the last two years she has played the victim saying she,
"thinks the world of me", and can't understand why I don't like her.
Before all of this she would come to the house every day and call
all the time. Since I wouldn't let her stay for a month she
never comes at all, and almost never calls, at least not when I'm
home. Of course, my husband goes down there almost every day
and does stuff for her. He stills thinks I'm the b*tch.
Even though I try to be civil to her, and she has been invited (and
attended) for holidays and other family events, she continues to snub
me when I pass her on the street (at least when there are no witnesses)
and tells other people that I "get mad" for no reason, and so on,
and so forth. Well, that's my story. I would like to hear
any comments or advice, although I realize that this really is a hopeless
situation. I think that the husbands are the real problem.
I have told mine that I don't really care what his mother does.
It's the fact that he doesn't see how it makes me feel and stand up
for me once in a while - that really hurts.
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Husbands
Are Real Problem" in your response.
RESPONSE: RE: Husbands Can Be a Real Problem
I relate to your story. Our husbands are part of the problem
with the issues we are having with our MILs, in that they help MIL
deny everything. Your MIL clearly has an ego problem, and has
tried to undermine you all these years. It sounds like she stopped
feeling validated as a mother, and tried to punish you for it.
If it's any consolation to you, I'm going through the same thing,
and my husband thinks I'm the "b*itch" too. The problem
is, our husbands are ignorant -- they only know what they see.
Our MILs are obviously not going to torment us with their antics and
barbs in front of their sons, and if they do it's very subtle so as
to avoid detection. My husband never notices my MIL's malicious
remarks to me, so if I say anything to him about it, he thinks I'm
the one being malicious. It's disgusting! My MIL recently
called my husband to get pity from him about how she had gotten into
a heated argument with some other lady she was in a car accident with.
She told him that it was entirely the other lady's fault (she could
never be at fault, you understand). She then told him that the
other lady threatened to sue her. She knows my husband has a
problem with anger management, and I could be wrong to think this,
but I feel she told him this just to stir up trouble and get him to
fight her battles for her. And, my husband fell for it hook,
line and sinker by flying into a rage. He started swearing and
yelling about how he wanted to call that lady and ball her out, then
take her to court. My immature mother-in-law even gave him her
phone # so he could call her! After he got off the phone with
her, he started ranting and raving to me about how he wanted to get
involved in the situation and how angry he was that someone talked
to his mother like that. Now, I know firsthand how hateful this
woman can be, so I simply said that we didn't know the other side
of the story. I told him that I thought he should stay out of
it, and let my MIL and FIL handle it. He sharply replied, "My
mother could've been killed in that."
RESPONSE: RE: "Husbands Are Real Problems"
I so understand where you are coming from. Are you sure your
MIL and mine aren't the same person? I have cried until I am
tired of crying. My MIL plays the innocent victim act too.
She has lied about me, hurt me and my children, and pulled every trick
in the book, and they're very sneaky about it, too. After 10
yrs. of this I said ENOUGH!! I had my number changed and gave
it to only non trouble making family members. At that point,
and you will get to that point, it's her or your sanity. I waited
and waited for my husband to defend me. It never has happened
yet. So do what you have to do for YOU :)
RESPONSE: To "Husbands are a Real Problem:"
I am always amazed at how many stories I read on this site that make
me ask myself, "but why does the husband allow this to go on???"
My hubby has made it clear to his family, since BEFORE our wedding
day, that his first loyalty is to his wife (and now, also, to our
child), and that he will not tolerate any poor behavior towards me.
Great, right? Well, I wouldn't change my hubby for an apathetic
one, but believe me, the in-laws STILL find ways to get to us: because
hubby sticks up for his wife (me), his family has ribbed him for years
about being "pu$$y whipped;" his family makes snide comments
about how his wife uses her hubby to protect her; his family
has inferred that I've come between them and him because I'm too possessive;
his family has "felt sorry" for hubby because I "hold him back" from
being "happy" because of his marital obligations (for example, they
think he should quit being a lawyer, even though we still owe tens
of thousands of dollars in law school debt, so he can take out even
more very hefty student loans to become a much lower-paid college
professor) . . . and the list goes on. After a few years of
letting their criticisms intimidate me and make me feel bad, selfish
even, I told hubby not to jump to my defense every time his family
gets on my case, and instead, to let me handle it myself. You
guessed it; BIG mistake! Well, after a few years of trying it
that way, I realized that his family, especially my MIL, felt more
and more at ease with sending me increasingly mean-spirited digs and
criticisms which they claimed were only meant to be "helpful."
I became more and more outspoken, and thankfully, have managed to
work things out on my own terms, without hubby's help, with everyone
but my MIL. Incredibly, she just continues to grow worse, practically
by the day. I finally asked my husband to go back to defending
me when she's out of line. The painful outcome is that she BITTERLY
resents that he is demonstrating his loyalty to me. 5/29 RESPONSE: re: husbands can be a real problem --
You really have my sympathy. I worked as a home health aide
for a woman who sounded uncannily like your MIL -- the nastiness,
the fake tears, the hypochondriac behavior -- the LYING. Talk
about reckless disregard for the truth! (Are you sure your MIL
and mine aren't the same person? ) I feel like I know exactly
what you mean -- she can act like this real godly, righteous person,
but there's this nastiness underneath -- real maliciousness.
Anyway, my home health client had two daughters-in-law -- and, boy,
did I feel sorry for them! She complained about them all the
time, but I think they were a couple of saints (her kids, too).
One time she was bitching about one of her DILs, and I tried to remind
her of how WELL they got along -- to get her thinking positive --
and, in response, she said this bizarre thing. She looked straight
at me and, pouting like a three-year-old, said these words: "I don't
LIKE other people. I LIKE ME." Isn't that weird?
I could write a book about her, but it would be too depressing.
Anyway, let's just say, I FEEL FOR YOU! 5/31
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