|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Stories
Archives 7/1/00
<--Previous Archive
Next Archive -->
 |
The self-centered mother
in law!
My mother in law dated a man that abused her daughter, and two grandchildren.
She didn't know of her daughter being abused. But, the 1st grandchild
did tell her, and she turned the other cheek. So the 1st grandchild
and her mom moved away for a while, and came back again to live with
the mother and her boyfriend. For 15 yrs no one said a word,
until my child told me of her abuse and I took action, and the creep
is in jail. During the 2yrs of court, the mother in law never
appeared, never said, "I'm sorry." She just ignored
the whole ordeal, until she found out that the home she lived in was
awarded to my daughter as part of the case. That day, she ran
over to ask if we got the house. How heartless!
She lives in the house which is next door to me! I'm sick!
I just want her to move, and I asked her to move but my spineless
husband told her she could stay for one yr. paying rent. As
of today, I have yet to see rent.
I would love to have some advice. What do I do?
6/23
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Love
Doesn't Always Mean Never Saying You're Sorry" in your response.
|
|
I think this website is
hilarious, and I really have enjoyed my visits. Lucky enough
for me I don't have any horrible stories to add, my MIL is a kind
and loving woman. She's willing to do anything to help my husband
and I and our children. She's full of bright and talented ideas,
and I look forward to our visits together. No, she's not perfect,
and far from it, but still I love her dearly.
6/22
RESPONSE: In response to "I think this website is hilarious":
If your mother-in-law is so great, then why were you on this site?????
6/23
|
|
My husband is the only
child, which makes my MIL situation all the worse. If my MIL
is not the center of attention, she finds a way to be. Every
situation has to be about her. If she feels neglected, she creates
dramas and dilemmas, or checks herself into the nearest hospital with
some "terrible illness" that no Dr. in the world can find. If
she does not get what she wants, she is vicious. One time, on
my husband's birthday (we lived in the same house with my in-laws)
we had spent the night away, and apparently, because she was not the
"main attraction" on HIS birthday, she went ballistic. She blocked
me in the driveway with her car, and once I got angry enough and said
she better move her @#$% &* car she went ballistic, calling
me every filthy name in the book, and threatening to try to take my
children from me, etc., etc. So, because I was able to leave,
she called the police. And when I came back for my stuff, she
had me arrested for some fabricated "she tried to kill me " story.
To make a long story short, the charges were dropped because they
were so ridiculous, and she knew my husband was ready to tell the
truth in court, if it went that far. She is a pathological liar,
and blames all the misery in her life on other people. I've
basically had it, and if I didn't love my husband so much, (he is
a great guy, don't know how he came from her) I would have said sayonara
to the whole situation years ago. I try not to get drawn in
to her sick, childish games anymore, and have tried to learn to be
a better person. It is nice to know I'm not the only tortured
DIL in the world. Thanks for letting me vent!
6/22
|
|
My situation goes both
ways. Some days I can love my MIL to death, and other days I
get really annoyed. My MIL is so giving, and can be so loving
at times. My real problem with her is that, when she calls my
husband and me, she will talk on her own time and tell noteworthy
things that have happened, etc. She hardly ever visits us, even
though she lives five minutes from us. We visit her on occasions,
like when she invites us for dinner, and to celebrate birthdays and
such. However, when I call her, she doesn't have time.
I try to call at a time when she's not cooking dinner, or real late
at night. Sometimes, I wonder if she rolls her eyes when I call
b/c I have seen her do that when someone calls her at her house.
She will also interrupt me while I am talking to her.
For the past week or so, my SIL and she have been tiling their floor,
which is extremely hard work. Around the same time, I had been painting
our master bedroom, which is the size of a large living room with
lots of cabinets built in the walls. My husband and I were invited
over to see what progress they had made, and my MIL and SIL were on
the floor still at it. I told her what a great job they were
doing and how hard they had been working. My MIL was talking
to me, explaining what they had to do to get the tiles straight and
such. There was a lull, and then I mentioned that I had been
slaving around too, painting our bedroom. She just ignored me
and interrupted me in the middle of explaining. I get this a
lot. I have gotten to the point that, when she calls, I just
don't say anything. I don't tell her anything anymore.
I used to call her every day, which I am sure got on her nerves.
Now, I don't. She is like a second mother to me, and she cares
about what I do and such. I guess I ought to be thankful that
she doesn't meddle in our business. I just want her to listen
to me. She does to a point, but only if it's convenient for
her. Forget how I feel at the time. Sometimes, I feel
that I tell her too much. Well, I have stopped that b/c it could
be used against me. Again, she is a nice lady, just stubborn.
Thanks for listening.
6/22
|
|
Note: This
story is repeated from last week (including all responses) due to
recent receipt of an additional response.
I'm in the mid-way between the decision to divorce or not. I've
got a lot of problems with my in-law family when I lived with them
during my first 2 years of my marriage. This was my fault, to
agree with my husband to live with them until we found a place.
But this was also a betrayal by my husband, in that he had no intention
to move or even find our own place. After some quarrels, "I"
moved out because he allowed his elder sisters and mother to insult
me, and he protected them. I nearly went crazy, but thank god
I knew my limits. And, after another quarrel in 5 months, he
moved in to stay with me instead of staying with his family, because
I suggested a divorce (sometimes, I didn't know whether he wanted
to keep his "face" or really loved me, because he felt insulted at
being faced with divorce). Right now, after 1 year, the relationship
between my in-laws and me seems to get better because there is no
chance to create a problem. But the deep-rooted unhappy memories
are still running in my mind and theirs all the time. There
is so much that, whenever something stirred up any of these memories,
I would feel very, very upset. In fact, I worry about having
a baby with my husband. After all my previous experiences, I
know that it would become another, and even worse, problem between
his family and me. I know his mother would try all her best
ways to insist on looking after the child. I also know that
she'd talk with her best friend, another MIL, about how to get back
her "grandson" from her DIL. Her friend really did this.
My MIL still pretends to be a victim of losing her son to me, in front
of all her relatives and her friends. And my "dear" sisters-in-law
will get the chance to create another disturbing problem between my
husband and me. So, if there were another focal point for their
interest, I would be in great great trouble. In fact, I feel
very scared about this. I know that my husband may not support
me because he still behaves as a mommy-boy and little brother.
But if a marriage has reached this stage, is it worth keeping???
6/5
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Worth
Keeping?" in your response.
RESPONSE: This is in response to "Worth keeping".
Only you can decide if the marriage is worth continuing. Do
you love him? Aside from what his family puts you through, are
there more good times than bad? If you take a good, hard look
at your husband as a person, and you decide that he is the man for
you, then you have some work to do. First, let me say you did
the right thing moving out. When you are in their territory,
there is not much you can do to defend yourself against all of them.
Your husband had never lived apart from them, so he went along.
He was wrong, but he did it from habit. They were wrong, too.
Obviously, they want to maintain the status quo more than they want
to have your husband grow up and be a successful adult. What
you have to do is talk to your mother-in-law about what happened.
It won't be easy, but don't be afraid, because when you confront someone
honestly it kind of disarms them. Don't do it at her place,
do it at your place, or in neutral territory. Be calm, and adult,
and ask her why she treated you this way, and why she doesn't like
you. Keep asking questions, don't react to anything she says,
don't explain yourself. Don't fall for tears or threats.
If she becomes angry, keep speaking softly. Let her know you
intend to stay married to her son, and if she wants to have a good
relationship with you it will make things much easier for her.
Though you may never become good friends, at least she will know you
are not some little girl to be mowed over by "big momma"! She
may have given you the impression, somewhere along the line, that
she is stronger than you, but that is only an illusion. You
are just as strong, and legally you are stronger. Don't worry
about your future children. She can't do a thing to you unless
you back down. Your husband will respect you more if you let
his family know that you are the wife, and they "were" the parents
of an adult who is now grown. Thank them for their efforts,
but let them know the job is done.
6/6
RESPONSE: Reply to "Worth Keeping?":
My first instinct is to say, "No". But, after careful reconsideration,
I think that counseling is an absolute must. Your questions
are valid & you deserve to know where your husband's loyalty lies.
I believe in the institution of marriage. I also believe that
you need to know that you exhausted everything before you give up.
Give the marriage one last HONEST shot. Pour your heart out.
You owe it to your husband to let him know how you are feeling.
You have nothing to lose. It sounds like you are at the end
of the rope, anyway.
Good luck & God bless.
6/6
RESPONSE: To "Worth Keeping?" -
PLEASE do not have children with hubby until you're satisfied that
he's ready, willing and able to place your marital vows above his
parents and siblings. You, too, must be prepared to do the same
for him! You are right, based on how they treated you while
you lived with them, your in-laws will almost certainly clutch and
prod at your husband and child should you start a family together,
so you must have hubby in your corner first! The first year
of marriage is very hard for most couples. You learned a valuable
lesson the hard way - starting off a marriage on other people's territory,
right under their prying eyes, can make extra trouble for a newlywed
couple. However, this is done and past. If you love your
husband and want to give your marriage a chance, you BOTH have to
start again. That means letting go of the anger, mistrust and
disappointment that this past year has caused between you and hubby,
and a renewal of your commitment to each other. If you still
love each other, and sincerely want to give your marriage an honest
try, but you think the anger may be too deep for you to heal it on
your own, I strongly suggest marriage counseling - it works!
6/6
RESPONSE: Response to worth keeping:
I also made the mistake of living with my MIL for the first year and
a half of marriage to save money. Yes, it is a mistake.
My husband and I are out from under her wrath for three years now.
When I lived there I used to fight constantly with my MIL, because
she always wanted to have her way, do things to fit her schedule,
and try to control me, much in the way she did her son. My husband
initially did not stand up for me. I have stressed to my husband,
and so should you, that he MUST defend you, and that if he accepts
you so should they. You must stress to him that he is with you
now, and that he is to be a man, and must make choices (perhaps some
hard decisions) as a man and husband. My husband and I went
to a marriage counselor, and I would suggest the same for you.
My husband, 99% of the time, stands up for me, and he had made the
choice to be with me. I have not totally rectified my MIL problem,
and I doubt that I ever will. I have distance on my side, and
I have learned to accept this.
6/7
RESPONSE: Re: Worth Keeping?
I was so moved by your story ... I completely sympathize with you.
I never lived with my in-laws, but they have nearly destroyed my marriage
many different times. I know exactly what you meant about how
you thought your husband may only be staying in the marriage to "save
face". I have sometimes felt that way about my husband too.
I understand the loneliness that comes with a husband who doesn't
have his priorities straight. You feel so frustrated and defeated
that you just want to give up. But I am in complete agreement
with the other responses, that you should at least attempt to get
your husband to change, to be on your side. As for your in-laws,
the less you see of the troublemakers, the better. They seem
like they are the main problem in your marriage. Perhaps you
should consider moving far away from them. That way, they can't
meddle in your lives as easily, and you won't have to worry about
subjecting your children to their horrible qualities.
6/8
CONTINUATION: Continue of "Worth Keeping"
Thanks for all responses. Actually, I did meet a counselor,
but alone. When I was still living with them, I checked the
yellow pages to find a family counselor, and went there alone.
After that, I told my husband and asked him to come with me for the
second meeting, but he refused. He then told his family about
my meeting with the counselor. His family helped him to spread
word of this problem to all the relatives, family's friends, neighbors,
as well as their own friends, saying that I was crazy. His sister,
mother & father even displayed some disturbing behavior at home
to make me angry whenever my husband was out, and I have to work at
home. But, my husband backed them up, making excuse for them
even though he was not there at the moment. My husband even
told our friends that I was crazy. But his sister, mother &
father still kept doing all the disturbing stuff at home, but pretended
to be nice to me in front of the neighbors and relatives. This
is the reason that I moved out alone. I didn't see the counselor
again, because I didn't want to have anything worse to happen again.
But I still trust their help. This is the problem of my husband
and his family, only. I feel very tired.
6/8
RESPONSE: Response to "continuation of worth keeping"
This is from one of the persons who advised you to seek some counseling.
It appears to me, from reading your "continuation article" that your
husband feels embarrassed about going to a counselor and refuses to
recognize there is a problem, or even buries the problem. He
refuses to recognize that you have been seriously hurt by his family.
If this is the case, then I wonder if he truly loves you! Or,
is he staying married to "save the face" because he is embarrassed
by the possibility of a divorce. When I lived with the in-laws
my husband used to do the same. From time to time - even in
my own house. My husband also went along with them. My
in-laws don't crucify me anymore, and neither does my husband, because
I spoke up - I mean, literally, spoke up, such as having real fights
with them, and embarrassing them no matter where we were. And
we have gone to counseling - just me and my husband. The counselor
literally pointed out to my husband that the fights would not stop
unless he took my side. Through some very effective communication
techniques, I have spoke up to my husband and his family - that I
will not put up with their nonsense, and that if we were to remain
as a family, they must be cordial. Or, if they crucify me, I
would do the same to them. If they put me down in public, I
would do the same to them. And on several occasions I had to
show them. My MIL may not totally respect me, but she has not
caused a problem. She may never get to the point of liking me,
but who cares. She does nothing for me. Through this turbulent
period, what our counselor recommended to me is to show a great deal
of affection towards my husband, which has helped.
Please continue with the counseling. Tell your husband that
if he loves you, and that if he wants to be a man, he needs to do
some changing and go with you or he may lose you. Remind him
the grass isn't always greener on the other side. If you leave
him, he will be lonely and miserable. Especially when his mom
dies. Remind him, that even though he is attached to his family,
he is still a changed person. Don't give up!!!
6/15
RESPONSE: To "Worth Keeping?":
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'd like to repeat what
one of the other responders said. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do
not have children with this man until you know it's going to work
out. It would be horribly unfair to children to tie them to
a family like that, and to a father who probably won't do anything
for them unless his mommy allows him to. Kids deserve better
than that!
6/16
RESPONSE: In response to "Worth Keeping?"
Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the same situation,
and I've also been thinking about divorcing my husband over this.
We live about five miles radius of my MIL and FIL and about 15 miles
from my SIL. Well, they want to monopolize my husband's time,
and the only solution my husband can come up with is that WE spend
OUR time with them. PROBLEM: I cannot stand them. They
are very controlling of us. They like to tell us what to do
and how to do it. They get mad when my husband and I choose
to spend some time alone on the weekends. I came to a point
that I suggested to my husband that he lives with his family during
the week and visit me on the weekends. I think that will be
a great arrangement, don't you? (Just joking). It is very frustrating.
In the beginning, I tried really hard to be nice to them, to ignore
their offenses rudeness, and to really spend some time with them.
I'm only human ... and I do not have the strength to go on taking
my MIL, FIL, and SIL's crap. I feel totally disrespected as
a DIL and as a wife.
6/22
|
|
This is just a response
for all you guys who have a great MIL. I'm happy for you, but
until you have lived in our shoes, (those of us who have horrible
MIL's) it's really not fair to place blame on the DIL's. Believe
me, I've tried. But, when a MIL thinks that no girl is
good enough for her sons, even though we make them happy, there's
no getting around it! Sad part is, I love my husband - which
means, I would never give her the satisfaction of leaving him. You
try living with your MIL and then tell me how wonderful she really
is!!!!!!!
6/21
|
|
My MIL is such a witch
that everybody is waiting for her to die. She is an unloved
person, and that is the reason for her frustrations. But that
is no excuse for bad behavior. She teaches her children and
grandchildren to look for rich life partners, because that is the
most important thing in the world. She declared to the family
that I am going to deliver a baby 'boy' nine months from the date
of my marriage. She told me not to use contraceptives 2 days
after my marriage. She makes sex jokes in front of everyone.
It does not take a genius for anyone to notice that she has sex problems.
She acts coyly in front of young men. She comments in a derogatory
manner about my family, and thinks we are no good, while it is exactly
the opposite. My family is recognized by everyone in the town
for being extremely nice, and of superior human values. She
is always complaining that we do not give enough expensive gifts to
my in-laws while we are spending 3-4 months of our salary combined
on them. My husband has severe cholesterol problems, but she
insists on feeding him fatty foods, and brainwashes my husband into
believing that I do not cook enough, while all my friends and family
love my cooking.
Though they are not divorced, my FIL never stays with her. I
do not have any respect for him either. He gambled away and
put the family in severe debt before my marriage, and only last month
we finished paying off everything after 3 yrs of my marriage.
She demands to be photographed in every dress and poses which is sooooooo
disgusting.
My husband was brought up by her to believe that my MIL is the epitome
of virtue, and a complete woman, and is blind to her behavior towards
me. She has an acid tongue which she is lashing out at me all
the time. My days drag by because my heart is filled with hurt,
and at night I suffer from insomnia. My relationship with my
husband seems fake and this has spoiled our physical relationship
severely.
6/21
|
|
Regarding the two responses
of daughter in laws with great mother in laws. For the first
three years of married life, I'd often comment to whomever would listen
about how wonderful my mother-in-law was. My father-in-law,
I thought, had issues with my husband. But I had no problem
with him, per se. Shortly before I got pregnant, my mother in
law blamed me for something that was a mistake of her son's (because
he could never be at fault - not her child). Once I became pregnant
- she became a different person. So, this lovely, spiritual
person that I met and loved before I married, and for three years
after marriage, showed her true colors - petty, sneaky, childish and
small-minded. Also, I began to realize that things that had
happened in the past that were a little strange - which I had overlooked
- made perfect sense with hindsight and this newly revealed attitude.
So, the point is - both of your letters stated or implied that you
had not been married long. Give it a little time. Perhaps
things will never change for you. That would be great.
Many people have great relationships with their in-laws. My
husband has a wonderful relationship with my parents. However,
his parents have no respect for marriage - having been married six
times between them. If you read enough of these, you'll notice
that many of these relationship problems don't occur until the daughter-in-law
becomes pregnant - or some other life change. Granted, I couldn't
agree with you more, in that some of these letters clearly point out
attitudes or mistakes that the daughter-in-laws have made, and some
seem to be petty complaints and sometimes unforgiving attitudes, but
before you get too smug in your perfect relationships with your in-laws
ask yourself, if things are so great, why are you reading the mother-in-law
pages?
6/21
|
|
My story is not exactly
funny. You see, my husband passed away in Dec. I was willing
to let my mother in law go to the funeral home with me for moral support.
This was the biggest mistake I ever made with regards to her!
She kept trying to get the funeral director to do things her way.
He finally told her, "I realize this is your son, but you are not
helping, and you really do not have any say about what your daughter
in law decides." Needless to say, this really upset my mil.
The day of visitation, my mother in law told everyone who came in,
whether it was their family or our friends, that I was burying my
husband with his shoes and wedding ring so that I could get a call
from the cemetery that someone had robbed my husband's grave.
I was furious! The only thing I could do at this point was to
be a better person than she was, and let it slide until after the
funeral and burial. My family was very proud of me, and said
that I earned points with God for not killing her there at the funeral
home. If anyone can understand this, please help me to!
Thank you.
6/19
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "Funeral
Fouler" in your response.
RESPONSE: This is in reference to "Funeral Fowler".
I am so sad to hear you have lost your husband. I think you
handled your MIL with a lot of class. I just hope I can be like
you if such a thing were to happen to me. I do have a story
about what happened to my grandmother when my grandfather passed away.
First, he died of a heart attack one night. My great-grandmother
(her MIL) lived with them. She kept saying that my grandmother
did it to him while making love. Then, at the funeral, the great
grandmother and sister-in-law tried to throw themselves on his grave
and made a big noisy show. To top it off, my father and my uncle
got in a fight over who would ride in the one limousine (there were
9 children). Those guys didn't speak again till 25 years later
when grandma was on her deathbed. My heart went out to her.
It was a regular circus.
6/20
|
|
Please help me!!!
I have never gotten along with my MIL. I really have put a lot
of effort into trying to get along with her. But, she is the
most opinionated, critical, and nosy person I have ever met in my
life. She really put me through hell when we were dating, and
during our marriage. She has said really rotten things to me
and made me feel so low like dirt. But with the help of my family,
I have managed to not to let her bother me that much. I realize
that she is like this with everyone. It still annoys me, but
I'm dealing with it better. Although this is still quite aggravating
to have to deal with, I am finding an even worse problem. I
have been married 1 year now, and it is worse than ever. She
and her husband think that they have to be involved with everything
we do. We bought a house two months after we were married and
from that moment on they have been over helping with everything. Of
course we need help, but it is too much. They are involved with
everything. The biggest problem is, they tell my husband what
we need to do, and they come over and do it. They have taken
away all the fun I could have had with painting and re-doing our house
to our liking. I have begun to take it as an insult. All
right, I know the rug is old, but we don't have the $$ right now to
buy a new one. But, if we tell them that, next week we'll have
a brand new rug, in the color of their choice, installed. Without
even asking us. Then, of course, they have to be there to supervise.
I would really have enjoyed the time I could have spent with my husband
fixing up the house knowing that, when we were all done, we could
look at it and say WE DID IT. Instead, my in-laws are the ones
telling us what we have to do. With them, everything has to
be done right now. It's not like I live in a run down old shack.
I completely understand that, having just got married and bought a
house, it will take time before we can fix everything.
6/19
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using our
mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "SHE
DID IT" in your response.
RESPONSE: "she did it"
I don't understand that you don't agree, but you'll let her do it
anyway. They're like little children. You've got to tell
them everything 100x. It's your house, for gods sake ... If
you don't like the rug, let them remove it. That will teach
them something about asking first. It's your house (and not
only your husband's, I think), be your own boss in your own house.
It's not only the mil/fil that has to change - you've got to change
your attitude about them changing things without asking. Show
them you don't want that anymore, and stay with your opinion!
6/20
|
|
Well, my mother-in-law
has been living with me for the past year in a half. It has
been plain torture. Everyone says I'm a saint. My husband
and I have been married 9yrs., and for 8 of those yrs. one or another
of his family members have been living with me. First,
his sister, then his brother, and now his mother, who does jack around
my house. All she does all day is get on everyone's nerves.
I have no privacy. She listens to my phone conversations.
I can't go anywhere without her asking me if she can go. She
thinks everyone is talking about her, and that our lives should revolve
around her. It's always, "feel sorry" for poor her.
Well, of course I don't! She doesn't even know her own grandchildren's
names. My children really resent the fact she is here, because
they feel they are lacking the attention they need. Of course,
I give them plenty of attention. She can't understand that I
need to spend time with just my boys, without her there. I hate
being in my own house. Her hygiene habits are gross. She
rarely takes a shower, or shaves her legs, and her breath can kill
an army. Of course we tell her, but she does not care.
My husband has had it. I finally convinced him that everything
she does is all an act for attention - so, we'll feel sorry for her,
and let her live with us forever (FAT CHANCE)! I think the thing
that bothers me the most is that she has two other children, and they
do nothing to help us out. I mean, come on, she has a daughter,
you would think she could live with her. The last time she saw
her mom was in Feb. I feel that I have a third child living
with me. All she does is make messes that I have to clean up,
like washing tissues, or going to the bathroom all over my bathroom,
peeing in bed - I could go on forever! Here's a real b*tch for
you - when my husband and I told her I was pregnant, she responded,
"Oh my god. First gray hair, now a grandmom. That
kid is not going to call me grandmom!" When my youngest
son went in for surgery, she was in Disney World. How concerned
was she? It's always been her - she had her own life and did
her own thing.
6/19
|
|
Okay, here's a good one.
I'm a senior Director of a charitable organization for women and children.
Another similar charitable organization had a fabulous fundraiser.
The problem is, they are a major competitor for funding, and have
a tragic history connected with my organization. Well, my mother-in-law
and my sister-in-law and their spouses went to this fabulous fund
raiser. They asked if my husband and I wanted to go, and I explained
the situation. I thought that would be enough for them to not
want to go (out of respect for me, ha ha). Not only did they
go and give this other organization a load of money, the next day
at their family picnic, I was told how much money the other place
made, and that we should do that too, and that I just have to get
out there and do it. What do they think I do everyday?
They've never supported my organization, or asked me anything about
my work. My father-in-law made a joke about the fact that they
went and supported the other place. I guess they think that
helping those who are struggling to survive makes for a cute little
place to work. Well, it's not. We struggle on a daily
basis to keep our doors open. I'm not making a fortune doing
this. I make one third of the amount of money my sister-in-law
alone makes per year. This was the ultimate insult to me.
It's war now!
6/19
|
|
My Mother-in-law of four
years decides that things will be her way or the highway. She
can't seem to forgive my husband and I for conceiving our first born
child while we were not married. She was so upset with this
that she did not want anything to do with her grandson for the first
year of his life. Finally, when we came to visit after a year,
she went no holds barred to treating him (my son) like a king.
All of the time in between she spoke badly against me to her family,
made up a fictitious life story about me, and always referred to me
as "his wife". If she needed to know any information
she went through her son. She never gave me an ounce of respect
and never took time out to get to know me. All she knew is that
all of this was my fault, and she would treat me like dirt in return.
After three years of gossiping behind my back, lies, and mistreatment,
I decided to confront the situation head on. For years my husband
thought I was being overly sensitive, until he finally heard how she
felt about me with his mother's own mouth. My mother-in-law
continued to try and make me look bad to her family, and when we would
show up to a family reunion, people whom I had never met had already
formed an opinion of me, due to her constant high school gossiping
sessions. I grew very irritated with her childishness, and decided
I would no longer entertain her talk show. The three year situation
was confronted, and now EVERybody knows how she feels, and she now
knows how I feel. My father-in-law says its, "because she grew
up in a home where she was constantly abused, so she doesn't know
how to love, or she has nerve problems", an excuse to verbally abuse
and hurt people. Now for the last past year she has not contacted
us and cares not to find out how her grandchildren are doing.
Basically, if there is ever a point when she will decide to be a mother
and grandmother again I will take no part in the visit!
frustrated daughter-in law
6/18
|
|
I have been married for
10 years, and my MIL has been a royal pain in the a** for just about
everyday. She is a constant complainer, and is critical about
everything and everyone - especially me. She will tell my husband
everything I do wrong - from what kind of flower I plant, to how I
raise our kids. After we first got married, I used to be very
hurt by her comments. She would say things to people in town,
too (we live in a very small town, and she knew I would hear them).
I just don't know who she thinks she is. I think if you don't
share her blood you are not worthy of her. After I stopped being
hurt by her comments, I started getting mad. But I would never
say anything to her. I blame a large part of this problem on
my husband. He never hesitated to come home and tell me things
she had said about me - but he would never hurt her by telling her
the things I said back about her. He is a real good husband
and father - and he would be better if his mother lived farther away
(she lives about 5 miles from us). Right before Christmas I
heard some things she said about me. I decided right that very
moment that I would never do anything right or be good enough for
her - so I gave up. I was always the one to buy the Christmas
gifts, Mother's Day gifts, birthday, Easter gifts etc. I was
even the one to remind my husband it was her birthday!! Well,
no more!! She got no Christmas, Mother's Day, or Easter gift
this year. I didn't even say Happy Mother's day to her this
year (she has never said it to me in the 8 years I have been a mother
). I think she believes Mother's Day was created just for her.
IT FELT WONDERFUL!!! I have never been thanked for any gifts
(but my husband always was) so why buy them. The words "please",
"thank-you", and "I'm sorry" aren't even in her
vocabulary. I still go to family gatherings because of the kids
and one nice SIL, but I don't talk to her, and try to avoid being
in the same room. I do it for the kid's sake, and my husband's.
I don't bring the kids over to her house any more.
6/18
|
|
What is the difference
between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your MIL?
Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your
MIL doesn't know the difference.
What are the two worst things about your MIL?
Her faces.
6/18 |
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives