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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
Archives 9/16/00
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This is not a mil story,
rather a dil, and it is not a negative one. I do have the most
wonderful dil that anyone could ask for. Let me begin.
About 4 years ago when my son was in the army he met a girl and they
married, much to our dismay. After being married only 1 year
the marriage had failed and there was a divorce. Our son came
home, as he was being transferred by the army. While he was
here he asked if a "friend" could come and visit. Well, the
"friend" turned out to be more than a "friend" to him. Both
my husband and I were cordial to her, and really did not want to like
her, since his 1st wife was very nice at first, but once she had the
"ring" she became controlling of him and turned him against his whole
family. However, after we had been with his new "friend" several
different times, it was hard not to love her just like our son did.
She is the most wonderful, respectful, loving and caring young woman
you could ever ask for. Both families like and respect each
other. Unfortunately, they are separated at this time, due to
the fact that our son is in intensive training for the army.
We communicate by phone or e-mail at least twice a week. We
seek her support when we cannot hear from our son, and she seeks our
strength and ears to help her ease the lonely times she faces at times.
Simply put, WE LOVE HER DEARLY, AND SHE, IN RETURN, FEELS THE SAME.
9/10
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To be honest, I wouldn't
even know where to begin. My in-laws are, to say the least,
pathetic. Since my husband and I met 9 years ago, they have
been a constant burden. When we were dating my FFIL never spoke
a word to me. That should have been a clue as to the hell that
was coming. Because my MIL sure made up for it. Of course
like most newlyweds, I didn't cook like his mom, or hang his shirts
up, or fold his clothes the same. No big deal. I can overlook
that ... For three years ... But then I got pregnant.
And the "suggestions" kept coming. I wasn't eating right.
I worked too much. I am putting a strain on my relationship
... blah .. blah .. blah. Well, then I became toxemic in my
last month. Bedridden. And who was there to help?
My faithful MIL. There to constantly tell me, "Hon, when was
the last time you mopped the floor?", "When was the last time you
cleaned the bathroom?" My goodness, I was holding eighty pounds
of water and my blood pressure was sky high. I hadn't been myself
in months. And, of course, where is my faithful husband?
Right behind his momma, of course. Anyway, after four days of
induced labor (and my MIL sitting in the room with us until the doctor
made her leave) the baby was here. And, two years later, another
baby. Things were moving along fairly well until my SIL had
her baby. And then, all hell broke loose. My husband's
sister's husband called my FIL and told him that my SIL has a problem
with me, and he wants my FIL to deal with it. So, FIL calls
my husband and has him over (without me, of course) to discuss the
problem. It seems that my children are terrors, and that my
SIL/BIL want to keep their precious 18 month old baby away from them.
It seems my girls taught her baby to say "mine," and that
she didn't like the birthday party I threw for my 2 year old.
And that I went to a yard sale that had things for her baby and didn't
tell her about it.
9/9
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My Husband and I have
been married less than a year. When we first started off we
lived on our own, did for ourselves, and asked for help from nobody.
About 2 months into the marriage I had gotten pregnant, and had been
working trying to keep up with the finances. Finally, the stress
of working full time was taking a toll on my health, and I lost the
baby. Two days after I had miscarried, I was having a discussion
with my husband about his mother, and I really felt disrespected that
he would go to her about problems relating to my marriage instead
of coming to me. Well, he got aggravated and told his mother.
That very same day, his mother came over and just invited herself
in and started on me, telling me that everything that goes on in her
son's life, including our marriage, is her business, and that, if
I was a better wife he wouldn't need to stress his feelings to her
because there would be no aggravation. Then she went on to say
that she has been nothing but good to me ever since my husband and
I got married. And, that she even cared for me more than my
own mother does, because she feels that my mother could not even give
2 cents to the thought of me (which isn't true ... my mother is the
most giving person I know). Then she went on to say that I was mean,
selfish and not the person for her son. I kept my mouth shut
at that time, waiting for my husband to jump in. Then, after
she was all done talking, she said to my husband that this is the
way she feels, and went on to ask him if she offended him. He
said, "No. This is none of my business." That
really got to me.
Now, I am living with her. And, right after we had moved in
I was working a full time job and cooking and cleaning and paying
most of her bills. One evening we had decided to get a pizza.
The delivery man was late, and she started complaining. I told
her not to concern herself with it because it wasn't her money that
was wasted. She threw the pizza at me! And then my husband
ran to her rescue, and she started telling him that I don't belong
in this family, and so on. Finally, he came back into the room
where we stay, and she followed him saying, "You don't belong here.
You are evil, greedy and not welcome here, and you need to go back
up north and find another husband." My husband then proceeded
to keep his mouth shut and tell me I need to deal with her, that it's
not his problem. So I did. I went right into her room
and told her that my marriage is totally different then the relationship
with her son, and those two relationships should be kept separate.
She told me that I am no good for him, etc. Then I told my husband
that I wanted to move out and relieve myself from the aggravation
of her attitude, and he said "go." Then I changed
my mind, because I didn't want to end my marriage with him over his
insecure mother. And now I am right back where I started.
Every day, constantly, I hear her always anticipating an argument
between me and him. And, as soon as we disagree on something
she says, "Divorce her."
9/8
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My husband and I had been
married for two weeks when my husband's brother was getting married
on the west coast. We lived on the east coast. Because
of money and starting new jobs we couldn't go, so we stayed behind
and house/dog sat. They spent two weeks on the west coast (as
opposed to our wedding, at which my in-laws spent barely the afternoon,
and left the reception early). Anyway, they got back, and we
were saying our goodbyes when my new mother in law said to my husband,
"Oh, by the way, (their friend's daughter) is getting married to a
doctor, and they're buying a $350,000 house. Oh, son, it could
have been you. It could have been you in that big, beautiful
house instead of that tiny apartment." Yes, he spoke up and
said, "Mom, I married (my name), and she's right here. Thank you."
And we left.
9/8
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 When
I was pregnant with my son, I was on bed rest due to premature labor
contractions from about 24 weeks on. During this time, my SIL
decided to throw a baby shower. The doctors said this would
be okay as long as I did not get too excited and did not get up too
much. During the baby shower the group of girls were planning
a timed game that allowed you to use only one hand. It was my
MIL's turn and she started before they started the timer and used
both hands. I jokingly said "cheater". She got
up and left the room. Later, I found out she was upstairs crying,
saying that I did not have any respect for her, and that now all of
my friends thought she was nothing but trash and made a huge scene.
Excluding the fact that all of this made my contractions increase,
she has never let me forget that I embarrassed her.
9/5
RESPONSE: This is an unsolicited response to the DIL
who called her MIL a cheater during her baby shower.
I have to be honest here - I normally have a lot of sympathy for DILs
when they enter stories, but when I read your story, I actually felt
bad for your MIL! I am not aware of your past with her, and
I am sure you have had your disagreements, but I felt that it was
immature of you to call her a "cheater" during the baby shower game,
even if you meant it as a joke. You said this in front of friends
and family, and if I were her, I would have felt hurt and embarrassed
too, because it seems as if you were purposely trying to make her
feel bad, and put her down, and she may have even felt embarrassed
for you! I don't know if you realize it, but by calling her
a "cheater" in front of friends and family, you made yourself look
like a spoiled brat picking on her MIL in front of others, and really,
if your MIL complains to friends and family about you behind your
back, and they were there to witness what happened at the baby shower,
I would not hesitate that those who do not know you well, would probably
side/sympathize with your MIL. What you said is, IMHO, petty,
and I can see why your MIL's feelings were hurt and why she is holding
this against you. Maybe it is time for you to sit down and apologize
to her, even though she may have been mean to you before, and even
now. By apologizing, you are being the mature adult, and the
bigger person, and the two of you can put this grudge aside and hopefully
heal some wounds. I hope that things work out for the two of
you.
9/6
RESPONSE: This is in response to the cheater remark.
I do not think the other person who sent a response was able to take
a joke. Maybe it is your MIL!!! If she felt embarrassed,
she could have said something like this: "Oops, I'm sorry, I
got carried away!" That would have eased the tension.
She is making a big deal out of nothing, in my opinion. She
is probably just doing it to get some attention. MIL's are great
that way. If they are not the center of your universe, well
then they will have to make it that way! It only gets worse,
they want more attention, time and they are nosy! Do I sound
angry, or what?!
9/7
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You always hear about
the MIL jokes, but I never really thought they were true. That
all changed when I got married. You see, my husband's from Turkey,
so I never had a chance to get to know his parents before the wedding.
His father has a high rank in the Turkish Army, so he wasn't able
to get off work to come to our wedding. So he sent the
MIL over by herself. Unfortunately, she is in her fifties and
tries to look like a 20 year old. When she got off the plane
she had bleached blond hair in a pony tail and soooo much makeup on
she looked like Meme on the Drew Carey show. She had on painted-on
pants and a low cut top with her double D breasts half way hanging
out. I thought to myself not to judge a book by its cover, give
her a chance. I greeted her with a smile and she just looked me up
and down like I was the one standing out in the crowd!! My husband
wasn't able to work yet, because he was still on a school visa, so
I worked and supported us and our daughter. I was a manager,
so I worked a lot of hours, and was also trying to plan a wedding
by myself at the time. She did nothing but insult me for: not
getting up and cooking her breakfast; that my fiancé had to clean
the house because I didn't have time; she was upset that we didn't
wine and dine her; she complained that I was fat (I'm a size
8). She finally went to stay with one of her friends nearby
because my house was too dirty for her! It was a blessing in
disguise. She stayed here a month and only attended our wedding,
and didn't visit with us the rest of the time, which was just fine
with me! We have now been married 4 years. Both his parents
came over to visit last year, and I'm sad to say this visit was even
worse, because the FIL is just like the MIL! (That's a whole other
story) My husband and I are very happily married and that's
due to the fact we live sooo far apart from my in-laws!!!
9/5
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Well, although I don't
know where to start, maybe I'll just tell a lot of what has happened.
I married my new husband about 6 months ago. At first everything
was great, but within weeks the little comments started. At
first they were just rude comments that I didn't have too much of
a hard time shaking off. But soon it become more intense.
They live close to us, so of course something is said if we order
pizza, or anything I do. Recently I found out I was pregnant,
and the newest is that I am trapping their son, which in my opinion,
I am a grownup adult who is married and have no reason to trap someone.
You would think, if that were the case, I would have gotten pregnant
before I was married. They tell me I am rude and stuck-up -
which, I am probably one of the most unstuck-up people there are.
They tell me I am a user, and I am ruining their family. You
name it, they have said it. And, to top it all off, we had a
conversation the other night about being civilized, and the deal was
to meet half way, when I agreed and asked for an apology. The
remark was, "for what?" They claimed that was just simply the
way they felt. So basically, what they are asking me to do is
kiss their butt, and allow them to talk about me. But for almost
7 months I have taken all their abuse and I refuse to any longer.
I love my husband and thank God he is not like his parents.
But as far as I am concerned, they will no longer be a part of my
life. Because, the way I see it, I have only known them a little
over a year, and before them, I have never had anyone talk about me
in that way. So they can have all the relationship with their
son they want, but when it comes to me and my children, we will not
see them any longer.
9/5
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Here's a 21st Century argument
for all of you. My fiancé's sister e-mailed my FH some birthday
cards. Since he is about as computer literate as a house plant,
he couldn't retrieve them. I told him I would help him.
When he went to check on the cards, about a week later, they were
gone. His mother and his sister both accused me, behind my back,
of erasing them. My fiancé BELIEVED them. I explained
to him that the cards are only available for 30 days and then they
are automatically erased. I don't go into his e-mail and don't
even know his password. He defended them anyway. Then
he told me that his mom told him that his SIL, who I am VERY close
with, told his mother that I told her that I did erase them.
First of all, his SIL hates his mother almost as much as I do and
never talks to her. Second, I never mentioned these b-day cards
to his SIL in our conversations. I told this to my fiancé and
pointed out that his mom, my MIL, is now making stuff up to cause
problems, and HE STILL DEFENDING HER!! It's been 7 years that
we've been together, and I don't know how much more of this I can
take. Then, when I call him a momma's boy, he gets mad.
What's the matter, truth hurt?
8/31
***NOTE: Please feel free to respond to this (using
our mother-in-law stories submission page) if you
have any advice to share. Reference this story as "New
time, old problems" in your response.
RESPONSE: New time, old problems" in your response.
Threaten to leave him if you don't like the way he treats you.
See how he reacts to that one. The guy doesn't even trust you?
9/5
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My mother in law recently
married a complete bum. The man works part time, and she is
forced to work two jobs. My fiancé was involved in an accident
which broke his jaw. I went to the hospital with him and brought
him home. She called me to see how he was doing, and I explained
everything that happened. I went to the store and bought him
all his necessities, and took care of him. She came home from
work late (from her second job), and found me sleeping there.
She woke me up and told me that she and her son didn't need me anymore
since she was there, and that I was turning her son against her by
taking care of him. I was so upset I began to scream back at
her, "Where were you when he needed you?" My fiancé stood in-between
us with his broken jaw trying to keep us from fighting. What
enraged her even more was the fact that he was defending me.
She kicked me out of the house. Now, when I call on the phone
to see how he's doing, she makes up some excuse so he cannot talk.
9/3 |
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Working Women Don't Have Wives