Three years ago my husband and I moved my mother and father-law to the city we live in.  It was my idea, because they kept hinting, and they are in their mid eighties.  We have them over to eat once a week, and I take my mother-in-law shopping, to the doctors, etc...  My husband has two brothers and sisters-in-law, and they do nothing!!!!!!!!!!  We spend every holiday with my in-laws.  No one else bothers to, and if we are out of town they are all alone.  Well, a few weeks ago my mother-in-law called me and said that they didn't think I did enough for them, and that they know I see my mom, but my mom has two other daughters so they think I should not see her anymore and just take care of them!!!!!!! 

I have written before.  I am the one whose mother in law thinks I gave my 7 month old a "fag" name and am turning him into a "QUEER" because of it.  Here comes Christmas, and we are not going.  There are 9 children in this family, and out of 9 (they all live close by) only 2 have seen my 7 month old new son.  So, at a holiday party which we didn't want to go to, they kept going on and on about how they want to see my children.  We have had it with them.  My husband told his mother on the phone at Thanksgiving we wouldn't be attending the traditional Christmas Eve.  Don't draw names for us.  They all knew it, because MIL went on and on (and it is my fault, I am a bad mother, etc.).  They knew we weren't coming, so at the time to leave I said, "Have a great Christmas," and they pretended to not know we weren't coming.  They gave me a barrage of "poop" on why and how "mother" was so upset; and how could I do this to her; and they want to see my children; and it was mean of me; and I was being a B---h and breaking everyone's heart.  So, I said, "Well, I didn't know you felt that way.  We do have a phone, and I will be glad to write the number down for you so you can call and visit or come over."  Boy, did that shut them up!

I just got married to my high school sweetheart about a month ago.  My husband and I had been together approximately 12 years before we got married.  His mother is single, and has no future expectations to have her own life.  She told us before the wedding that she would help with the some of the wedding expenses, and paid for nothing but the purple dress that she chose to wear (which, by the way, did not match our wedding colors).  At the wedding reception, she told her son to tell me goodbye and that she had a hair appointment to attend.  She stayed a total of 1.5 hours at our wedding reception.  To top it off, she put rice in almost every single article of clothing and material object that we own! 

She's brutal.  Her moods vary from critical to sullen to antagonistic.  I think she's the unhappiest person I've ever met.  We went on vacation once together and she spent the whole time brooding over my relationship with her son.  It erupted one night into a yelling match between them over how unfit I was.  4 months later we decided to get married.  She kept saying how it wouldn't work, and how I couldn't give her son what he needs.  It ended up in a family wide screaming match.  I left and went home.  She's the meanest person I've ever met in my whole life.

I had been married for a whole month when my mother in law told us she wanted us to come over at least once a week, but preferred twice a week visits.  I hesitated, but to make my husband happy and start a peaceful relationship with her I complied with this.  Then, it got to the point that when we went to visit, she would either put him to work or get me to do "things" with her (like her hobbies) which I did not enjoy.  When I made it known that, with both my husband and my work schedules, plus trying to settle down together, there were more important things than visiting relatives right now, she went ballistic.  The truth is, every time I go over to her home she starts an argument with my husband so he will pay attention to her.  The arguments are usually about my husband's father (her ex-husband).  She bad mouths him constantly.  I personally find her ex-husband to be a very nice guy, and could understand why he left her.

If my husband will not argue with her, then she will command attention in the room by standing in front of the TV, or making a scene like she is hurt or sick.  She has actually hurt herself on purpose to get my husband to help her.  I guess she thinks bad attention is better than no attention.  Now that I have vocalized that I thought this was wrong, and that I was concerned that it was not healthy for our relationship, she hates me.  She bad mouths me and has twisted everything I say to make it sound like I am a selfish person.  I am not selfish.  In fact, I try every day to be an outgoing, helpful and loving person to everyone.  However, when I get around her I cannot be myself because I know she does not like me.  So, therefore, I choose to not go visit when he does.  Thinking that avoiding her will prevent any further animosity, my plan has now backfired, and when he goes without me she bad mouths me further and says I am just wanting to break up her "family".  Of course, this upsets my husband because he is torn.  He loves his mother but he also loves me.  

After reading various stories on your site - I am happy to see that I'm not the only one.  My mother in law and I have never gotten along because I don't toe the line like my sister in law does.  But, that has never bothered me.  My MIL is going senile and refuses to acknowledge it, as do her sons.  My marriage to her second son is on the rocks but reconciliation is very possible, or so I thought.  She is determined to ensure I don't see happiness with him.  All her comments are negative towards me (nothing new), and she now feels she has control over her baby again.  Sad thing is he never paid much attention to either of his parents until now.

These are the same parents that organized a page boy and flower girl for the wedding without telling me, and insisted, "You had to have them."  The same people that insisted I make one of their nieces a bridesmaid or they wouldn't be attending the wedding.  I didn't do it, they obviously came... and it's been down hill since then.

My husband backed me all the way through these hellish wedding preparations, and now it seems, they've finally poisoned his mind.  The kind of respect they have for me is summed up in this comment, "If she doesn't want to have children, better they split up now." - Well, yes, I am after all only a baby breeding machine!!!