Posted: 04-DEC-01
I was 52 when I married, very quickly. DH was
56. We were going to elope, but MIL heard obliquely that we
were, and situated things so that she attended. Then, she proposed
a wedding party, only inviting her friends and family. She feared
mine might not fit in, even though she didn't know them. Mind
you, I am an accomplished professional, well-educated, very presentable.
Obviously too presentable. Jealousy was what made her tick.
She was 74. He was her favorite son. It only got much
worse. I'm divorcing him.
Signed - I'm No Fool -
I'm Divorcing Him
Posted: 23-NOV-01
I've known my MIL for 15 years. She was nice
in the beginning. But, about 6 years later, she showed her true
colors. That year, her other son got married. She doesn't
like her other DIL either. I didn't get along with SIL at first,
but now we do. My SIL gave us a cat a couple of months ago.
Her son was acting aggressively towards animals, and they decided
it was best to get rid of the cat. She has said that she DOESN'T
want our MIL to end up with the cat. Lately my MIL has made
comments about wanting the cat. My SIL can't take the cat back
now, because her husband is allergic. Do you think I should
give my MIL the cat? SIL is afraid our MIL will have the cat
for a short while and then grow tired of it and take it to the pound.
I would love to keep the cat, in a way, but we have 3 inside cats
altogether! It would be easier to only have 2. Any advice?
Signed - Easier To Only
Have 2
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
I work with homeless cats, and I implore you to trust
your instincts on this. If you feel that your MIL will not make
a lifetime commitment to the cat, please do not give it to her.
This animal has already lived with two different families, and is
most likely just now adjusting to your home. Please do not uproot
it, yet again, to put it into another temporary situation. You
sound like you provide the better home for this cat. And, be
assured that as time progresses, having three cats versus two will
not be an issue for you. Also, I can tell that you care a great
deal about your own kitties simply by virtue of keeping them indoors.
I assume that this cat is getting along well with your other two?
They may have bonded at this point - and, if he/she is not having
any problems adapting, I'd recommend that you kindly let your MIL
know that you have grown close to the animal (or that your other cats
have) and leave it at that. I suspect that your MIL hasn't really
thought out the implications of this, and that she is acting on impulse.
Given enough time, she may move on to something else. You are
this cat's advocate, and you sound like a wonderful and responsible
cat "mother".
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
Keep the cat. Your SIL trusted you with the
animal for a reason. The poor cat cannot speak for itself, so
you have to keep your promise and care for it. Never let the
MIL win!!!
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
Find the cat a new home, not your MIL's. That
way there are no hard feelings all around. Just tell her that
whoever you gave it to fell in love with it, and you didn't have the
heart to say no.
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
I'm a cat lover, and think you should keep the cat!
Your MIL might very well give it up when she grows tired of it, and
I bet that since you have the other two cats, the cat loves your home!
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
Try giving her the cat. And, if she later makes
noise and gets rid of it, take it back. Just an idea.
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
Keep the cat. It's hard on animals to change
homes a lot (like it is for a child). I think you can make room
for another cat to help your SIL out. You'll have a tighter
bond by standing together. Give it a shot.
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
Keep the cat. The cat needs a good home that
will last. The cat doesn't need to change homes all the time.
You don't like your MIL either, so don't upset yourself or your SIL.
Keep, love, and feed the cat!
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 09-DEV-01
If you have reason to believe MIL would take the cat
to the pound, please keep the cat.
RESPONSE: Easier To Only Have 2
Posted: 22-DEV-01
You should keep the cat. Your SIL may be on
your side someday against her mother if necessary. You may need
her friendship.
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