I could say so much about my MIL, but here are a few choice stories.  When I had our first child I had a fairly hard labor, which my mother apparently related to my MIL before MIL came to visit.  The first words out of her mouth - "Well, you don't look so bad.  The way your mother talked, I thought you'd be near death."  She has cut my children's hair to suit herself.  I'm a nurse, and anyone else out there that is a nurse knows the paperwork involved nowadays.  I may be scheduled to leave at 3:00 pm, but that is a joke.  My MIL told my husband that he shouldn't be stupid - it was only prudent to drive by and see if my car was actually at work.  MIL: "No nurse clocks out after 3 o'clock, they're lined up at the time clock."  Last year when my grandma died, and I was at the showing, my husband stayed home with our youngest.  MIL called, and when my husband told her he was doing some laundry to help me out MIL said, "Your father never had to do laundry."  Luckily, my husband has realized how this witch is and always relates her behavior to me.  When she is confronted with anything, though, she either pretends she doesn't know what we're talking about, or tries to act like she was just joking.  We are pretty well through with trying to get along with her.  It really bothers me, though.  I wish so much I could exact some form of horrible revenge on her.  I have dreams about it all the time!

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, our families got together.  My parents don't drink, and they felt uncomfortable about having alcohol at the wedding.  That was fine with us, since alcohol does not make or break a wedding.  Well, my future MIL got very verbal about the subject of alcohol not being at the wedding, and my dad told her that if she wanted alcohol at our wedding, then she could pay for it.  That shut her up real quick.

Well, it has all been down hill from there.  We never really got along until my husband got relocated 3 states away.  Now, we have a cordial relationship, but I never talk to her on the phone, and I never make plans with her.  That is my husband's job. 

Q: What's the definition of happiness?

A: Getting up in the morning and seeing your mother-in-law's picture on a milk carton!

I have experienced both good and bad mother in laws.  I have been with my husband for over seven years (married for nearly three).  When we met, I had two children from a previous marriage, (and I still get along quite well with my first mother in law. She is just happy that I have kept in touch with her family since the breakup).  My second mother in law was dubious about me from the start, I think because of the kids (however, she was single with four kids herself when she met her present husband).  She has only once visited our home, and then only for about half an hour.  The only time she ever was friendly to me was when my brother in law had a girlfriend that she literally hated.  Now that she's gone, I'm back on top of the shit list.

Earlier this year, when we were on holidays, we went to stay with "them" (at my suggestion) and my mother in law suggested to my husband (on the first night) that he should donate sperm because there was "nothing wrong with you".  This was a thinly disguised jab at the fact that we have not been able to produce a baby since our marriage.  She was fairly nasty to the kids while we were there, and finally I told my husband to say something to her.  They had a chat together and she told him what a sour unhappy creature she thought I was.  Needless to say, that's the last time I suggest a visit.

After that fun holiday, my children both had their birthdays.  As usual, my son received a card and some money (this is the usual because they live interstate), but my daughter received only a card.  I finally asked my husband to find out what the story was, and it turns out that she was peed off over a thoughtless comment my daughter made four years ago.  We didn't speak to her for over a month, and then she sent an apology card and some money.  My husband spoke to her and told her that, because of her actions, we'd had to lie to my daughter - but she told us to get my daughter to ring and thank her.  After that we didn't, so to punish us she ignored my birthday gone just this week, and this woman expects to see my husband when she and her husband come our way in January. 

I married my husband 10 years ago on December 25 in a famous resort city.  Problem is, my mother-in-law claims her birthday is Dec. 25.  This year she will be 75, and her daughters are giving her a party.  Needless to say, my husband and I have kicked our celebration over to 12/26.  Problem is, I want to celebrate with dinner and maybe a theater play afterwards, but I don't want her there.  She is not happy that my husband and I are still together, and is a nagging hag that just gets on my last nerve.

Well, thanks for this site.  It's a good way to get it out of my system.  My husband (and rightfully so) thinks she is great.  She has 17 children (13 girls and 4 boys) all different fathers.  How can I even think about it!

I have never known what it was to truly hate a person until recently.  That person is my MIL.  She uses and manipulates my husband like crazy.  He never sees my side when I tell him that I am sick to death of her using him.  My husband is a truck driver.  During the summer he would pass fruit stands and buy fruit for family members.  One day he told me he would bring home some blackberries (one of my favorites).  After making his purchases, he stopped in the town that his mother lives in.  She met him at his truck and picked up what he had bought her.  I then met him at his truck and just missed seeing her (lucky me).  He told me that she had taken my blackberries home to keep them cold for me since I was going to be riding with my husband.  The next night we went to visit her and I told him to remind me to get my berries.  Anyway, during our visit she opened the fridge and set about putting things away from dinner.  She pulled out a bag of blackberries and I said, "Oh, don't let me forget to take my berries home."  She then said, "You don't have any berries here."  I turned to my husband and said, "you said she brought them home with her to keep them cold for me."  He said, "I never told you that. I didn't get you any blackberries."  MIL then tossed the bag of berries back into the fridge and went to the front room.  She never offered me any or said anything.  I felt about two inches tall.  I was so embarrassed.  Blackberries are not that important in and of themselves, but the lie from my husband and the humiliation it caused hurt me deeply.  My husband's daughter called us on Thanksgiving Day to say Happy Holidays.  She then started telling my husband how rudely her grandmother has treated her recently.  He hung up on his daughter.  So, not only does he put MIL before me, but he also puts her ahead of his children.  The other day he met up with some of his family at the hospital where his step-father was having a procedure.  His mother took $50 from him so she could feed the family members lunch. 

"It was really cold outside today."

    "HOW COLD WAS IT?"

"It was colder than a mother-in-law's kiss!"

My husband and I have been living with his parents for six months now with our 15 month old baby.  We thought it would be a great place to live until we could really get on our feet.  He is working and going to school, and I take care of our daughter and go to school as well.  But, now my mother-in-law is driving me crazy.  Recently I've heard my daughter call her mama with her happily answering, "Yes, dear."  I also hear her tell my daughter to call my father-in-law "dada".  She is always involved in every aspect of my daughter's life.  It is as if my daughter has two fathers and two mothers.  And it just breaks my heart to hear my daughter call someone else mama as well.  And then to hear that someone else encourage it makes me feel disrespected.  It's hard to say anything because we are so grateful for them taking us in.  But it's not worth losing my daughter or self respect.

I don't understand my future mother-in-law.  My fiancé and I are going to be married in October of 2000.  We don't have a lot of money, and we're going to be saving everything we can so that we can have a nice wedding, and a nice honeymoon.  Meanwhile, my future MIL is insisting that my fiancé go to the west coast for his brother's graduation in January.  He has told her that he most likely will not be able to go.  Still, she says things to him like "When we go out to the graduation...." etc.  Of course "we" means her family, not including her son's fiancée--me.

My fiancé gets two weeks vacation each year, which is ten working days.  Now, his mother is expecting him to make this trip, which will take up four of his vacation days.  Apparently, she doesn't care whether we have a honeymoon.

A few days after we told her we are getting married, she admitted to me that she thought that since we announced a wedding, that it meant I was pregnant (I'm not).  She said she only thought that for a second.  So, she basically thought that her son would only marry me because he "had" to?

Now, she's complaining that we're not getting married IN a church.  I only wonder if it's like this now, is it going to get worse after we're married?


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This is a long story, but I am venting almost 5 years worth of MIL abuse!!!

Virgo + Mother-in-Law = EVIL (It is so long it deserves a title)

My Mother-in-law "Jane" is a really self righteous witch with a capital B.  When I first met her, things were basically fine.  My husband (then fiancé) "John" took me to visit her after we had been dating a couple of years.  He and his mother were not particularly close and live at opposite ends of the country (now I know why).  Anyway, so we go and spend about a week up there.  John warned me that Jane finds fault with everyone and is known family wide for her "silent treatments" and her opinionated, conflicting views.  So I was prepared to face the EVIL future mother-in-law.

Surprise, surprise... she and I got along great.  I found her to be very pleasant and funny and caring.  Though Jane is a staunch Catholic, she allowed John and I to sleep in the same room in separate twin beds even though we were not married yet.  She was aware that John and I were living together and made no fuss about it.  Whew, I felt like I had passed, and even decided that John was being entirely too critical of Jane.

It just so happened that a month after our visit, John's uncle passed away.  We flew back to Jane's house.  I felt out of place at the funeral simply because John and I were not married yet, but John was insistent that he wanted me there.  During the four day visit, I sensed that Jane was acting strange towards me, but I blew it off - deciding that she must be just emotional over her brother dying.  I did, however, mention to John that she was acting somewhat mad at me.  He assured me that she had not mentioned anything to him, and that before his Uncle passed away he asked her.  You see, we had already had this conversation a week before we went up there, because I had sensed she was upset at me one day when I answered the phone.  I answered and was glad to hear from her, and was just talking... maybe asking her how she was doing, when she very abruptly said she wanted to talk to John.  The whole time my instincts told me something was wrong, but she insisted that nothing was wrong and she wasn't mad at me.

I finally decided that I was mistaken.  More than a year later we went to visit Jane for Christmas.  Though John and I had asked Jane if she would prefer us to stay in a hotel, because she was having so many people come in from out of town, she insisted that we stay there.  The first night that we got there it was already very late.  Having traveled so long, John and I were not particularly tired... and Jane and John's brother, "Dave", were excited to see us.  We were up till 4:00 a.m. just chatting.  When it was time for bed, Jane gave us our sleeping assignments.  Originally, she told John and I that we could have her room, but we both declined, knowing that the arrangement would make us all uncomfortable.  It just was not appropriate yet, as John and I were still engaged.  So then she announced new sleeping arrangements:
John-in the back bedroom
Dave-in his room
Jane-in her bed, and I could sleep in there with her.

I was cool with not sleeping in the same bed with John, but I didn't want to sleep with her in her bed.  I asked if I could instead sleep on the couch.  She said, "Of course," and got me some blankets.  John and I were watching a movie, and I had not gotten my PJ's on yet, but had taken off my shoes and got under the blanket.  John, with his head laid at the other end of the couch, did the same.  So we were both fully dressed, under a blanket, watching a movie on TV.  Jane came out of the bathroom, saw us on the couch, and said she was off to bed.  Her bedroom is positioned in such a way that it looks directly into the den where John and I were watching this movie.  So trust me, no hanky panky going on.  As the movie ended, I told John to go to bed - I didn't want to start anything.

He laughed and said no.  After all, his mother had originally assigned us (John and I) to sleep in her bed.  He said that he just really didn't want to be in a different room and bed, and that she should not care if he fell asleep there... we were fully dressed and at opposite ends of the couch.  I went so far as to get up to go to the bedroom, and he stopped me, again saying that we were grown, and doing nothing wrong.  Basically, he felt that I was being too uptight. I relented and fell asleep on the opposite end of the couch fully clothed.  The next morning Jane woke us up and seemed a bit stressed.  I was mad at John, and told him so, because I knew she was pissed.  He then bluntly asked her if we had upset her, and she said no.  John sort of gave me that "see, I told you so" look and dropped it. 

The next few days she continued acting pissy to me and made sideways comments like, "You can borrow my skirt, but don't take it home."  I tried to just stay out of her way and I ignored most of what she said.  John insisted that I was making a mountain out of a molehill.  As it turned out, I also got a basic flu while there.  Fever, chills, cough, and tiredness... I couldn't will myself to stay alert, and I just wanted to sleep.  This did not please Jane.  Finally, the basic holiday hoopla was over, and John took his mother out for the day.  They went shopping downtown and had lunch.  John and I decided we would go to dinner that night, as we had not been alone all week, we just wanted some quiet time. 

We did go out, but the "date" was very short.  I was not prepared for John's very sour mood that evening.  He wouldn't talk to me and would hardly look up.  I was confused and mad.  He didn't want to go to dinner, and he just insisted that he had a headache.  We ended up pulling into a park, I was hoping we could just talk.  He insisted that it was time to go home.  I was happy to go home because I was sick and Jane was stressing me out.  He would not tell me why he was mad, but he said he would not spend another night in Jane's house.  I knew something had been said at lunch.

For a month afterwards John acted sullen and depressed and was picking fights with me.  I couldn't deal with it anymore.  I made him tell me what she said.  She told him that I was using him, and that I was a gold digger, and that given a chance I would leave him for my ex-boyfriend.  I was shocked.  I could not figure out where she would get that impression.  John and I both worked, and were currently sitting on a bare floor (with the exception of bean bags) because we were saving up to buy a couch.  "Rich" would not have defined John or me in either way.  As for my ex, well, that one threw me for a loop.  I had only had one conversation with her about my ex... shortly after I met her.

It took me a bit to remember the conversation, but I finally realized why she had started acting so aloof towards me.  A couple of weeks after I had met her for the first time, she called me, upset, and just needed someone to vent to.  Her divorce was finally going through, and she had just run into her old high school sweetheart.  She claimed that he was that guy that she always wished she had married - the one that just sort of always stuck in the back of her mind.  Well, my ex was also my high school sweetheart, and I commented that I wondered if I would still think about him in 30 years.  Then a discussion began about my ex, and John, and her, and her ex, and her current (though separated) husband.  I was very truthful that it took a long time for me to emotionally commit to John, because my ex had completely broken my heart.  I think I even said that I knew that it would be very hard to walk away from my ex if he ever wanted to date again.

I was not scared of these emotions and I did not feel that they were abnormal or in any way indicated my commitment to John.  To me they were simply loose ends that I need to resolve.  I also was wary of my own emotional judgment, and I didn't want to be with John on the rebound only to find out later that I was not really in love with him.  I was in a very similar situation as she was.  We went on to discuss my need for a long engagement.  I knew from the day that I met John that I wanted to marry him, but I wanted to marry him with all of me and without reservation.  From that conversation, she ascertained that I did not love John, that I was using him, and that I only loved my ex.  I further added to her belief later when I postponed our wedding.  I was still too nervous to make the final jump.  When I realized this, I was relieved, because I could see how the misunderstanding could have occurred.  I called her hoping to talk.

She was very rude and callous, saying that she did not misinterpret what I said.  Furthermore, why did I have the gall to sleep with her son in her house when I was not married to him... she stated that I was purposely challenging her and her rules.  It seemed everything I had done since that conversation a year and half before had been under scrutiny.  I was actually amazed at everything wrong I had done to her to "take away her son, and challenge her."  I hate fighting, and even after being completely admonished for things that were extreme exaggerations of actual events or flat out lies, I apologized for upsetting her.  I just wanted her not to be mad at me anymore.

Finally, she said that Dave no longer wanted to come spend the summer with us because he didn't like the way I manipulated John.  The summer plans had been made at Christmas, and up until then I did not know that Dave was mad at me.  Actually, I didn't take her word for it, though I finally stood up for myself very forcefully and loudly.  I was mad and humiliated.  She used this as yet another example of my challenging her.  Meanwhile, John stayed pretty much out of it - to the point that I got angry at him.  I mean, after all, he is the one who insisted we sleep on the couch.  He conveniently could not remember how that all came down.  Things began to worsen, and though John would not engage in conversations about me, he would not stand up for me either.  He insisted that it was between his mother and me.  This went on for a year, where they talked but I was excluded.  Amazingly, John and I stayed together.  Finally, I decided to write Jane a letter - hoping to mend the relationship and apologize.

She called me shortly afterward to let me know that she almost threw the letter away.  Rather than us then having a pleasant conversation to clear the air, she continued by letting me know that it amazed her that this issue still bothered me.  Taking this to mean maybe we could move on, I asked her if she forgave me, and she very bluntly said, "no."  I asked her if it was important to her for us to get along, and she said, basically, that I was not a member of the family yet and she had no intention of being nice to me.  I asked her if she ever was bothered by the problems between us, and she stated that I was not an important enough issue to worry about.  All this was horrible - the conversation was a very hard one, because I was trying so hard to just let whatever she said ride.  The truth was that John was the one being hurt by us not talking.  I wasn't aiming to be her best friend, but a level of civility was important.  I began to cry, probably because I was biting my tongue so hard, and then John walked in.

He took the phone from me, and in no uncertain terms let her know that he knew the truth and knew that she was wrong - and that if she could not be rational towards me, then she could not call anymore.  John told her once again that he loved her and he loved me.  He said he was going to marry me, and his place was by my side.  He then asked her to not make him choose.

A month or so later, our invitations were being sent out for our wedding.  John wanted his mother to attend, despite the last conversation.  He was nervous calling her, but I assured him that I would like her at our wedding also.  He called her, and her response was, "If you marry her, then I will know that I have a son somewhere."  She then pointedly asked him to choose me or her, and of course he chose me.  John and I have lived together since April of 1994, and have been married since October of 1997.  I am more in love with John today than I ever was.  Jane and Dave did not attend our wedding.  On rare occasion Dave and John have talked to each other via the internet - the conversations (according to John) are short and strained.  Last week, Jane and John spoke their first words in over two years.  John's dad had a heart attack, and John needed to let his brother know.  Jane still refused to acknowledge me at all by abruptly changing the subject if John mentioned me. 

Like I said Virgo + Mother-In-Law = EVIL!!

Anonymous Libran daughter-in-law will gladly take advice, revenge tips, and sympathy... :)


***NOTE:  Please feel free to respond to this (using our mother-in-law stories submission page) if you have any advice to share.  Reference this story as "EVIL" in your response.