Posted: 10-DEC-01
Here is a nice song for the holidays (LOL). I'd
love to see this one on the radio!:
"My Mother-In-Law Is Coming To Town"
Oh, I better watch out,
I'm gonna start cryin'
I better start running
heck I ain't lyin'
my mother-in-law is coming to town.
She's making her list
she's lookin' it over,
gassing up the car
to run my a** over
my mother-in-law is coming to town
She brags that she is perfect
she thinks she's a perty sight,
but according to my father in law
her stuff ain't quite that tight!
Oh, I better watch out
for singin' this song
oh, who the heck cares
when I'm always wrong,
my mother-in-law is coming to town!
Signed - My Mother-In-Law
Is Coming To Town!
RESPONSE: My Mother-In-Law Is Coming To Town!
Posted: 26-DEC-01
Another cute one!! I should try writing some
MIL songs, as it might be good therapy for me!
Posted: 13-DEC-01
"'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
'Twas the night before Christmas
but not to my surprise,
came my cruel mother-in-law
with her old bag of lies
Onto our porch
and the doorbell she rang,
"Ho! Ho! Ho! to my faaaamileeee,"
with that crude voice she sang.
I opened the door
and inside she came,
"When will you be leaving?," I inquired,
and she asked me the same.
Gifts for everyone she had -
everybody but me,
"Santa forgot about you, dear," she said,
"accidentally."
Up off the sofa
and into action I sprang,
As I finally put my foot down
with an astounding big bang!
Santa can't be that stupid,
not year after year,
To come to my house
and forget about me!
I kicked her a** out
and proclaimed with a yell,
"Merry Christmas, my dear,
and go straight to Hell!"
Signed - Night Before Xmas
RESPONSE: Night Before Xmas
Posted: 26-DEC-01
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
RESPONSE: Night Before Xmas
Posted: 26-DEC-01
I love it!!!! My MIL is a bitter, nasty old woman.
She loved me until the day I married her precious son. Soon
after that, we started receiving hate mail and hate e-mail.
She has done everything in her power to break us up, and she would
have if I was not so stubborn. I do not want to let her win!
I will hang around forever just to bug her if it comes to that.
RESPONSE: Night Before Xmas
Posted: 26-DEC-01
VERY CUTE!!! YOU GO GIRL!!
RESPONSE: Night Before Xmas
Posted: 26-DEC-01
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! THANK YOU! LOLOLOLOL!
RESPONSE: Night Before Xmas
Posted: 26-DEC-01
Good one. And, MIL can take her and my other
in-law "elves" right along to the burning embers behind
her! Hope there is a big enough "hand basket" for
the whole clan. This way, we all can have a frightfully good
Christmas! P.S. I wonder where ever does Santa find all
the tons of coal for MILs' stockings?
Posted: 29-NOV-01
We live in Australia, where our summer is approaching.
Temperatures can get quite high, and the humidity unbearable.
Consequently, we (DH and I) decided to buy our one year old son an
air conditioner for Christmas. I suggested that we involve the
grandparents, and asked if they wished to contribute to the gift.
They both (my mother and DH's parents) agreed. FIL has contacts
with an appliance outlet, and could get an air conditioner at a cheaper
price. Good, everyone was happy. A week later, I asked
DH if we had to go and collect the air conditioner. He said
that FIL was going to do so. Fine. Two days ago I visited
my mother, who told me she had offered to give MIL her contribution
towards the gift. She was told, "Oh no. Were buying
the air conditioner. We got a good deal on it." I
was stunned when mum told me this. I went home and asked DH
about it. He said he knew nothing about it. We argued,
and I told him that I wanted it to happen the way we'd planned.
DH visited his parents and tried to give them money for our share
of the gift. They refused. I asked DH if he told them
how upset I was about it. He said he did, but didn't change
their attitude. DH can't understand why I'm so upset, and says
we could buy our son something else for Christmas. Of course
we could, but why do we have to change our plans because M and FIL
want it their way? Am I overreacting? I just want things
to go as I planned for once. I fear I'm going to explode and
make things worse. My husband seems to be siding with his parents.
I'm so angry, and feel no one listens to what I want. This is
not the first time MIL has taken control of situations, etc.
Please, let me know what you think. And, if you disagree with
me, be gentle. I'm feeling fragile.
Signed - Upset In Australia
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
You need to pick your battles, and this is not one
to fight. Let your ILs pay for the air conditioner, and get
your child something else. When your ILs take over a situation
that really matters, dig in your heels and fight. I think this
one is not worth your time or energy. Remember, if you let this
bother you; you are giving your ILs too much power over your life.
Stand up when it matters. And this doesn't matter. So,
yes, you are overreacting.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Yes, you may be overreacting a tad. Your son
should get something other than an air conditioner for Christmas,
like a toy or something. Your in-laws got a great deal on it,
and they just want to give it to you as a gift. Take it kindly,
and don't mention it to them ever. They are being kind, and
may never be kind again. Pick your battles wisely.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
I can understand where you are coming from. In-laws
do try to take over in almost all situations. They call it being
helpful. But, I call being controlling freaks. The best
thing to do (and I know it is hard) is to start to stand up to them
or it will not get better. You don't have to be rude about it,
just be firm. Best of luck to you.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
I do think you are overreacting. This is very
minor, and I have to agree with your DH. Your 1 year old son
is not going to know WHO bought the air-conditioner. And in
all honesty, he's not going to care. I'd spend the portion you
had set aside on some toys that he'd appreciate more at his age.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
I was all set to disagree with you and suggest that
maybe you are overreacting, until I got to the end of your post.
You stated that your MIL has taken over in other situations as well,
and you feel like no one listens to what you want. It sounds
like you have a controlling MIL on your hands. She is the kind
who takes over in the guise of being helpful and generous (and completely
bamboozles your DH), but she is really just getting her own way, as
usual. I completely understand why you are upset about this
situation. My advice would be to let it go, and learn from it.
Your DH sees this as a perfectly innocent and generous gesture from
his folks. You will only make yourself look like the ungrateful,
difficult DIL for insisting otherwise. But, learn from this
situation - don't involve the ILs in any future situations in which
you want the final say. You have learned a lesson from this,
and now you know. I know it will be difficult to ignore this
air conditioner problem, but it will only complicate your life more
if you try to "take back the control". The ILs may
have won this battle, but not the war. In a quiet moment with
your DH, maybe you could talk to him about your feelings of no one
(meaning he and his parents) respecting your decisions, especially
where you, your DH, and child are concerned. Tell him it is
important that he support you and back you up when you are feeling
taken over by his parents. You are his wife, and your needs
should come first. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
I think you are overreacting a little bit. Although
you haven't provided any context for the situation, it sounds as though
your in-laws are just trying to be helpful. Let them buy this
gift for your son, and try to avoid a fuss. I don't think this
type of situation warrants a fight. You have to pick your battles.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
You are right for feeling upset. I could figure
that this must not be the first time your in-laws have tried to control
a situation. DH needs to understand that the point is not the
fact that they want to, and can afford to, pay entirely for the gift.
The point is that situations like this will pave the way for bigger
power struggles in the future that can put enormous strain on your
relationship with them. Let them pay for the air-conditioner
this time. Send them a gracious and carefully written thank-you
note explaining that you appreciate their generosity towards their
grandchild. Also, tell them that you feel that, in future, you
hope that their love for him will allow them to show it in ways that
do not undermine your wishes as his parent. You can hope for
the best as far as their response is concerned. As far as your
own behavior is concerned, you could try being more careful in avoiding
situations which allow them to take charge. Have a plan, and
stick with it. If you see that they are trying to control the
situation, say to them again and again, till it sticks, that they
should help you in giving them their rightful place in your family
life by showing respect for your role as a mother, wife, and DIL.
I would repeat the same mantra to DH so that he does not feel any
need to defend his parents. Is not this a golden rule, I am
sure he will agree, that the way for them to be treated with utmost
respect is for you to be respected in the same way by his parents?
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Oh boy! Are you over doing it? The he!!
you are! Give them the big hug and wet kiss they deserve!
And, read some of the bad stories around to cut yourself into proportion
with the sad reality.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 13-DEC-01
You can't ask people for things and then have control
over every aspect too. If it was that important to you, you
should have bought the A/C yourself. What were you going to
do, write up a contract? Maybe something like, "You can
only contribute $10 or just use your connections to get us a deal.
Then, we're done doing business." I can't believe you would
think to ask your ILs for help, and then trash them for being overly
helpful. Then, you have an argument with your husband.
I am sure he was not the one asking for help. You said it yourself,
it was your idea. Overreacting? Yes! There are always
expectations attached to every gift. Really! I think you
asked for this one. Don't give mixed messages.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 26-DEC-01
I am not writing to comment on your entry. I
am writing to express my anger to the person who has been rude to
you in the way she has responded to your entry. I think that
her tone was very wrong, and same thing could have been said gently.
How can another person be so rude when you know you might be wrong
in your perception of things, and you want to know other people's
viewpoint. You even know that most will not agree with you,
and you want them to be gentle. I was very hurt after reading
that person's entry, and I can imagine how you must have felt.
Don't be discouraged by such people. I just wanted you to know
that we are not all like that, and we will always be gentle while
writing responses, even if we do not agree with you. Try to
write a letter or something to express your anger and get it out of
your system. Do not post the letter, just tear it up.
Write down every thing about your ILs. Use all kinds of language
to lash out at them. Believe me, this has helped me a lot.
I constantly write emails to my MIL and send them to myself to get
her out of my system. Good luck to you.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 26-DEC-01
If you are feeling badly, then there is a problem.
I think your statement that no one seems to care about how you feel
says it all. This was something that was agreed to all around,
and 2 members of the group took control and said, "Too bad.
Too sad. Things are going to be our way." They are
children who don't know how to play very well. Unfortunately,
because DH is not backing you, you are not going to win this battle.
But, you can learn from this and become a good strategist. My
li'l ol'e grandma used to say, "Don't hand the ammunition to
the enemy." You now know that involving the ILs in a group
project is handing them the ammunition. Never go in on anything
with them again. EVER. Being the DIL of controlling ILs
means learning from every battle. In fact, I wouldn't let them
in on any plans, either. Do not discuss with them what you are
doing, planing to buy, or anything else along that nature. Once
you take the group thing away, MIL may escalate this to just hearing
you discuss what you are going to do and then doing it first.
It's all about protecting your back, and you will get better at this.
I would let this go. You're not going to win the battle of the
A/C at this point, but you can be a winner this Christmas. Buy
something your dear little child will adore - a toy you can keep in
your Memory Chest after he has outgrown it, or something you can show
him in years to come. Try to look at it that way. Try
to enjoy Christmas. Have your folks buy him something more personal
also. For one thing, the importance of the ILs gift will diminish
when their grandchild plays with his wonderful toys. You can
smile to yourself, because I feel your ILs tried to be most important
to your child this Christmas, and they are going to fail if you and
your parents go on to enjoy the holiday and buy toys that your child
is going to be crazy about. I don't feel you are being too sensitive.
But, I do think you are going to have to be a lot smarter when dealing
with ILs who have to be so self-important. Take control back
in small ways this holiday season - enjoy it despite them, and get
your child something special, just from you, that he will love.
Living well IS the best revenge. And, come on over to the message
boards. We will be happy to discuss everything and help work
you through it all.
RESPONSE From Poster: Upset In Australia
Posted: 26-DEC-01
I'm "Upset in Australia". Well actually,
I'm not upset anymore. I was getting in such a state about the
situation that I eventually phoned my MIL and explained how upset
I was. I told her that I felt no one was hearing my point of
view. She was quite understanding, and agreed to revert to the
three-way purchase as we originally intended. I think that the
reason this got out of control was the lack of communication between
my MIL and me. I have, indeed, learnt a valuable lesson, and
will not have my DH be the go-between anymore. I know my little
boy doesn't know who buys him what, but the fight wasn't for him.
I was just trying to have things the way I wanted, for once.
And, through some honest, clear communication, I have managed to.
I realize that my MIL is a sweetheart compared to most of the dragons
you poor women have. And, I will be grateful for small mercies!
Please, don't think my little boy is only getting an air conditioner
for Christmas. Of course he will be getting some little toys
from Santa. Thank you all for you responses. I appreciate
your time and thoughts.
RESPONSE: Upset In Australia
Posted: 26-DEC-01
I disagree with the respondents who said you are overreacting
and being "too sensitive". There is obviously so much
more to this story that hasn't been told. Otherwise, why would
you feel so upset about the ILs buying the air conditioner?
They have obviously run over you in the past, and this is a final
straw. Please, let us know some more of the specifics of their
past treatment of you, so we can help you. You deserve your
husband's support, and you deserve to live a life free of the ILs
manipulations. We can help you. Just tell us some more
of what the ILs have done to make you feel so unhappy and miserable.
I don't think you're overreacting at all. If you're feeling
fragile, there's obviously VERY GOOD REASON FOR IT!! Hugs.
You're not alone.
Posted: 29-NOV-01
When my husband and I married 2 1/2 years ago, my in-laws
were tolerable. They seemed as if they were happy to have a
new addition in the family. My FIL told me once how he was happy
to have me in the family. However, after the honeymoon was over,
things seemed to gradually change (not so much with my FIL, but with
my MIL). She has hurt me emotionally, and I'm feeling my marriage
has suffered from her petty, infantile shenanigans. Before we
married, my husband and I lived together for 1 year. When we
went to look for a home, she had already purchased a home for us.
I was against the idea, but she had told her son that if I really
loved him, I would move in and be with him. She has always thought
it was my responsibility to be the breadwinner and have the majority
of the bills in my name. If I argue with her, the family is
against me for defying her (since she thinks she is older and wiser
than I am). She has written me twelve page letters and left
them on my doorstep. She puts my name in big, bold letters.
In these letters, she says that I'm a spoiled, disrespectful brat.
I even confided in her about having a child. She responds by
saying that she doesn't want a grandchild, because she already has
a 27 year old that she can't get rid of. I've tried talking
to her, but she always speaks above me, and cuts me off in the conversation
when I speak. She has turned out to be a MIL from hell.
I've tried to be nice and repair what little bit of relationship we
have. My husband's brother doesn't work. He mooches off
them, and always goes to my in-laws for money. And, they always
give him everything he wants. On the other hand, when my husband
gets a day off from work, she always calls him over to repair something
or be her laborer all day. And, what we need to get done never
gets done, because he takes her side. When I try to take his
side on how unfair it is to us that we can't get what we need to get
done, she always remembers everything I've said, and holds grudges
against me. She treats me as if she is better than I am.
She once told me that, when I married her son, I married the family.
Maybe that is true, but I don't have to answer to anyone but my husband
and my god. I'm 27 years old, and I think it's about time I'm
treated like an adult, with respect.
Signed - About Time I'm
Treated Like An Adult
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Grab your DH and run, don't walk, to counseling.
He is showing signs of not respecting you. If he won't go, or
won't start putting you first, then tell him you are leaving, until
he figures out that you should be number 1 in his life. Have
you shown your letters to your DH? If the letter is as bad as
you say, and he still defends her, then you really do need professional
help. This could result in DH and his family not having a good
relationship for a while. That is ok. Remember, you are
number 1 in DH's life **AND** you are NOT responsible for DH's relationship
with his family.
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Does your husband support you at all? He sounds
like he's making it very easy for her to be controlling. If
I were you, I would move away. Since you are supposed to be
the bread winner in the house, then you should make the important
decisions. Moving away should be one. Secondly, don't
allow your husband to go over there. Make plans for that day
before she ever finds out. She sounds very mean. I am
very sorry for you. Try to hang in there.
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Your MIL is way too involved in your lives. It
is time to set some serious boundaries. She is treating your
DH like he is still a small boy. She has no say in when you
have children, or how you spend your days off. You need to sit
down and talk with your DH about his mother's constant intrusions.
Her little gift of buying you a house was not a gift at all - it was
just a way to keep you both under her thumb. I think you and
your DH should seriously consider selling the house and starting over
fresh. Tell MIL she needs to call before she comes over, and
limit your visits with her. She needs to get a life! Her
children are grown and do not need a mommy anymore! Your are
so right - it is time she treated you like an adult! She won't,
however, until you demand it from her!
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
Amen, girlfriend. I heard every word that you
said, and those nasty MILs will destroy our marriages if we let them.
Your DH needs a serious kick in the butt. So does mine, but
he is still so reluctant after 10 years. Your MIL is a witch
for getting involved in your wanting to be a mother. You are
the mother. She acts like if you have a child, she will have
to take care of him/her. Tell her to get over it. If you
want a child, you will have a child. If she wants a life with
that child, then she had better learn to respect his momma and accept
the fact that he's coming. Someone is letting her know way too
much of your and your dh's personal business. I would keep her
on the outside of my marriage, ALWAYS. You never want to give
your MIL ammunition. and women like her are looking for just
that - enough dirt to hang over your head to have a reason to treat
you awfully for the next decade. Have you stayed quiet, or are
you letting your DH know that he needs to put his priorities in the
right place. Not that DH shouldn't ever do anything for his
parents, but things in your home need fixing too. Can't his
27 year old brother do most of what MIL needs done? I really
hope things work out for you. Although you want to be a mom,
if you are still young enough, try to wait a couple years just to
see if things can calm down a bit. Work on your marriage during
this time and tell MIL to butt out. Take Care, and try to stay
strong.
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
First question - is YOUR name on the deed to the house
you are paying for? If not, I hate to tell you this, but if
anything happens to your husband and it was his name on the deed along
with mommy dearest, she can own the house without you (in most states).
Yes, I agree, it is time you are treated like an adult, because you
are a responsible, mature adult in a situation with an infantile MIL.
I was in a similar situation. My hubby loved both of us, and
he was, I believe, terribly intimidated by mother. So, this
put a horrible strain on our marriage. I decided I'd had enough
of my big, strong hubby turning into a frightened, silent child around
mother. So, this is what we did, and what you can do:
Tell him you married him, not the in-laws. Tell him you want
to help him be the man you loved and married. Sell the house.
Move far enough away that the phone calls are long distance, and DO
NOT ACCEPT long distance charges. Whenever she goes into one
of her rages, treat her as you would a child that is having a temper
tantrum. Do not engage. If you are at her home, get your
coats immediately and say, "I will not watch this temper tantrum.
We are adults, and DEMAND EQUAL RESPECT." Tell your hubby
that HE NEEDS TO BE THE ONE TO SAY THIS. Tell him you and he
need to protect your marriage and stand united. Compliment him
on any instance where he shows courage, even small steps. He
needs to get positive reinforcement from you to offset the negatives
thrown out by his controlling mother. If they are at your home,
get their coats and say, "Please respect our home and our rules.
If you cannot do this, you will not be invited back." Make
sure your husband backs you up, no sneak visits to mommy's house,
no sneak visits by her to yours. Tell your husband he needs
to get a job if he is not working. He is being treated like
a child being cared for by two mothers if he is letting you be the
main breadwinner. Cut back, or do without. Do whatever
it takes. Just stand united. Do not accept money or gifts,
and live on your own. Buy secondhand, fix it up, or whatever.
Don't take gifts from them. We did this, and my husband was
very scared and insecure at first about his mother's tantrums, because,
really, she is insecure and jealous about losing her son to another
woman (and she will always see you in that light, no matter how hard
you try - so quit trying). Be yourself, the woman your husband
found irresistible. Move immediately, even if it means a smaller
home, new jobs, an apartment, - whatever. Quit being the caregiver.
Tell your husband you married a man, and you want a man to stand by
your side throughout life, not a little boy. It will get better
slowly. Cut back on what you buy, and get him to take over bill
paying. Or, better yet, do it together. It's like a kid
learning to ride a bike without training wheels. She has a 27
year old kid at home because she wants a kid and has no doubt ruined
his self-confidence to keep him that way. Thank God your husband
is stronger than his brother at least. Point that out.
Ask if he wants to end up like him. Chances are he is afraid
of that. Help him to realize his own strengths and good judgment.
Encourage him and praise him. Help him find work. Praise
and celebrate with him when he brings home a paycheck. We did
this the second year of our marriage, and we are going into our 14th
year of marriage. It is a very happy marriage, and we have really
found that closeness again. She will try to sabotage, second-guess,
instill fear and demand. And, finally, she will probably leave
you both alone. Establish your own holidays, and make friendships
with other healthy adult couples. Soon, your husband will love
his new freedom, and see from others that it is normal to have some
wings and leave the nest. Also, when you are firmly on your
own feet financially, you can have that baby that she doesn't want
you to have, because she knows it will bond him to you and help him
mature. You don't need her permission or blessing - you ARE
adults. But, hubby needs to grow up a little first. And,
when the baby comes, don't let MIL take over or make you feel insecure.
If she tries to manipulate or get back in, limit access to your child
and home. You need to protect your own family and have boundaries.
And, I suspect, as was in the case of my MIL, she has lost touch with
her milk-toast hubby, and has used her sons to fill the emotional
gap. That is not healthy for her marriage. Tell your husband
that you have to work with him on your marriage, and by his "coming
to her rescue" for every chore, he is denying his father the
chance to reestablish his role as the husband in his own marriage.
You can't save them or make them understand, so don't waste time focusing
on them. Get away and develop a life with your hubby that is
separate from them. If you tell him "this is it" and
stand firm, if he really is a man, he will follow your strength and
move with you. It may take baby steps on his part, but you won't
ever find peace while mother can run the show and make everyone else
knuckle under (and it will only get worse). Good Luck!
Be brave, and get out of there NOW!
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 13-DEC-01
I think you need to get your husband's take on this.
While you don't care for your MIL, I think you should ignore her.
Shame on her for telling your husband the, "If you really love
him" cr@p. You married him because you love him, no?
I hope that you two make decisions together, and if your husband tends
to listen to his mother because the mother-son connection won't disconnect
so easily, tell him that he needs to put you first, not the rest of
the family. If the subject of "About Time I'm Treated Like
An Adult" was so concerned with his mother, brother, etc., then
he should not have gotten a wife. You have NO obligation to
put up with her, and your husband needs to see that she is being destructive
to you. Good luck.
RESPONSE: About Time I'm Treated Like An Adult
Posted: 26-DEC-01
WOW!!! That relationship sure sounds nutty all
the way around. I had similar, but very different problems.
I simply told my husband, "Who sleeps with you every night??
You need to make the choice - her or me." It still took
a few years before the light bulb snapped on, but now MIL is on the
back burner, and MY family comes first. I reminded DH, quite
often, who he was married to (with bedroom eyes - LOL).
Posted: 28-DEC-01
I have never complained about having to do housework
to anyone, and my home is usually kept clean. Last year, for
Christmas, I received the ugliest statue I have ever seen: A
pregnant-looking frog, wearing a dress and apron. It was holding
a mop in one hand, a bucket in the other, and it had a roll of paper
towels under one arm. There is an inscription that reads, "Housework
makes me croak." I know that it is the thought that counts.
But, it is that phrase that makes me wonder, "What in the he!!
was she thinking when she bought it?!"
Signed - Just Wondering
What She Was Thinking
RESPONSE: Just Wondering What She Was Thinking
Posted: 9-JAN-02
I have to say that I think you may be a little sensitive
on that one. I think it sounds adorable. Unless she has
made derogatory comments about your housekeeping, I would find it
funny and let it go. I don't know many people who ENJOY doing
housework, so it is meant to just be a cute little phrase coming out
of the little frog's mouth.
RESPONSE: Just Wondering What She
Was Thinking
Posted: 9-JAN-02
I have received equally strange, "innocent"
gifts from my MIL. And I have come to realize that they are
probably inspired by her bitterness towards me because I have her
favorite son.
RESPONSE: Just Wondering What She Was Thinking
Posted: 9-JAN-02
Is that the first time your MIL has ever done anything
like that? Does she have a problem with you keeping your house
clean because hers isn't? It seems like she was making an intentional
dig. Are you pregnant? Is that why she sent over the pregnant
frog? I think I would be tempted to take the frog back to her
and tell her that you found it offensive. Here's something that
happened to me when my husband and I were first married: I joked
around with my FIL quite a bit, and when I would go over and see him,
he would always ask me if I wanted a half a cup of coffee. I
would never take him up on it. My husband and I were on our
honeymoon, and we went into a shop that sold souvenirs. And
we found a cup that was cut in half. On it was printed "1/2
a cup of coffee", and I thought it was funny. So, I said
to my husband, "Why don't we buy that for your dad and give it
to him?" My husband said, "Okay." Well,
when we got home, he gave it to his dad. A couple of days later,
his dad gave it back to him and told him he didn't want it.
I don't know why he was so offended by it. Unless, of course,
he was just looking for something to criticize me for. When
we were on our honeymoon, my husband thought we should call his parents
and ask them how things were going at home. So I said, "Okay."
We had been gone maybe 5 days. Our wedding picture was in the
paper, and when my husband got off the phone,he said to me, "Our
picture was in the paper." I said something like,"Oh,
and how did it look?" His parents had told him that it
was a good picture, but my hair looked funny. I have very thick,
curly hair, and as a child I was often teased about my hair.
I had let it grow out, and it was down for my wedding, which was the
style then. I'll never forget the way that remark made me feel.
I think they were saying that I should get my hair cut. I think
they were saying that they didn't like my hair. My DH just sat
there and looked at me like there was nothing wrong with what his
parents had said. I often wondered why he even told me, unless
he, too, was running me down.
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