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Dr. Terri Apter
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Terri Apter, Ph.D. is a psychologist at Clare Hall, University of Cambridge.  She lectures and broadcasts widely, both in the U.S. and Britain, on family and work

In 1990, she published Altered Loves: mothers and daughters during adolescence which was hailed by The New York Times Book Review (where it was listed as a Notable Book of the Year) as, "simply wonderful - a fresh vision that blows away old stereotypes, dated theories, male biases and familiar patterns of blame.  It is a model of lucid research and writing."  The reviewer, psychologist Carol Tavris, said, "I heartily recommend Terri Apter's book to anyone who is, knows, was or will be a participant in [a mother/daughter] pair ... Altered Loves does not minimize the inevitable fighting between parent and child, but it beautifully illuminates the warmth."

Her next book, Working Women Don't Have Wives: professional success in the 1990s (1993) was described by Kirkus Reviews as, "a thoughtful analysis of
an extraordinary complex problem, as well as a concise summary of feminist thought over the past four decades: of appeal to anyone interested in understanding the feminist revolution," and The New York Times Book Review wrote, "she touches a resonant chord ...Working Women Don't Have Wives provides a useful focus on the sources of the enormous resistance that makes change so difficult."

Even at an early stage, her work on midlife women was seen to be of enormous importance, and, to conduct her research, she was awarded the prestigious three year Betty Behrens Research Fellowship at Clare Hall, Cambridge.  The results of this research are revealed in her new book Secret Paths: women in the new midlife which was described in The New York Times Book Review as "lively and revealing ... Apter also provides insightful passages on the balance of power as it shifts in midlife marriages; on love and disengagement in the relationship between midlife women and their mothers; and on the nature of love and experience as they apply to women at this time in their lives."

In The Confident Child, Terri Apter focuses on the challenge of raising children.  This book has been described by Publishers Weekly as a "convincing, well-written and truly helpful guide ... Here is a book that takes the vagueness out of the notion of self-esteem and suggests concrete ways for parents to help their children like themselves and feel confident about their abilities to deal with the world around them."  This book won the 1998 Educator's Prize awarded by the Delta Kappa Gamma Society. 

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 by Dr. Terri Apter

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Altered Loves: Mothers and Daughters During Adolescence.
Altered Loves is a frank, moving and insightful examination of girls' adolescence and their continuing, but changing needs for a close relationship with their mothers.  The strife that characterizes this period is actually the result of trying to renegotiate a valued relationship.

Widely acclaimed, and chosen by The New York Times Book Review as One of the Notable Books of the Year, Altered Loves explodes conventional myths and theories about mother-daughter relationships and offers new and valuable insights that will help mothers remember and daughters understand the delicate, painful and complex process of becoming a woman.

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife.
Drawing on detailed interviews with women in their forties and fifties, Apter finds that women in midlife undergo a series of changes through which they gain a newly powerful sense of their own identity.  She sees midlife as a time where women gain greater control over their decisions and a strengthened sense of their potential.  Whereas other writers have seen midlife for women as a time dominated by biological changes associated with menopause, Apter looks at midlife passage through women's psychology.  She debunks the myths associated with women's fear of aging and decreased attractiveness.  Whereas once this was thought to cause anxiety and depression, Apter finds that women deliberately negotiate an acceptance of who they are physically, and resist cultural images that marginalize them.  This resistance can be a starting point for greater freedom.  While "midlife crisis" for some men is associated with a last-ditch attempt to hold on to their youth, for women it is an attempt to refocus their energies for the future.
Secret Paths is a must for every woman's journey into midlife and beyond.

The Confident Child: Raising a Child to Try, Learn and Care.
Raising confident, motivated, and caring children is a parent's greatest challenge. Children who believe in themselves and have confidence are known to experience future successes, to be less frustrated in learning, to show overall higher performance.  This sage compassionate and practical guidebook shows parents how to help their children acquire self-esteem building skills and offers parents a plan for learning how to discipline, communicate and deal with their children's emotional life.

In an accessible style, with down-to-earth examples of children's lives in the family and in school, Terri Apter shows parents how to raise a child to solve problems, to be socially active and understand others, to express feelings appropriately, and to manage emotions - all of which are crucial skills in developing confidence.

Every parent and caring adult should own a copy of this necessary parenting guide.

A Literary Guild and Doubleday Bookclub choice.

Winner of the 1998 Delta Kappa Gamma International Educators' Award

Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls and Women's Friendships.
Three Rivers Press. (with Ruthellen Josselson)
Friendships shape girls' development and women's lives - often as much as parents do, but the impact these significant others have is usually ignored.  But each friendship makes its mark on our psychology.  Behind the most powerful woman is a girl who wants a friend, and a girl who has learned to be terrified of a friend's abandonment and betrayal.

Mothers of adolescent girls dread the onset of the friendship wars, yet find themselves quite helpless in these situations.  One reason mothers have difficulty helping daughters withstand these battles is that they miss the fact that these issues stay with them.  Particularly as women increasingly work together in organizations, old ways of scuffling for place and recognition, for love and loyalty seem to pervade the experience of life at work.

Remembering is hard, because the early experiences of friendship are so raw with emotion.  A woman's understanding of her own emotional journey through friendship is a valuable asset.  It is through these perils and disruptions that lie the "pure gold" of girls' and women's friendships.
Book of the Month Club


The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
Secret Paths
Women in the New Midlife

Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S

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