Worst gift: Posted: 13-AUG-01
My worst gift from my MIL was a plastic turntable from
a dollar store. I was very embarrassed!!! When everyone
else opened up really special gifts, I ran to the bathroom in tears.
And when I returned, she had the gall to ask, "IS EVERYTHING
ALL RIGHT?!!!" This was after 25 years of marriage.
But this was one of many gifts to me.
Signed - Plastic Turntable
RESPONSE: Plastic Turntable
Posted: 21-AUG-01
Why was this so embarrassing for you? You didn't
buy it. I hate to say this, but it sounded like you overreacted.
Was your MIL sarcastic about asking you how you are doing, or was
she genuinely concerned?
After being with DH for seven years we finally spent Christmas with
his family. DH got a 19 inch color TV, VCR, a whole new wardrobe
and I got a frame. An ugly frame at that. I could have
thrown it at her, cuz I had just spent $100 on a gift certificate
from a very nice store.
signed - Wish I Had A New
MIL
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new MIL
Posted: 27-DEC-00
You need to grow up and be grateful for even receiving
a gift. Don't be so materialistic.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new MIL
Posted: 28-DEC-00
That first response was SO witchy! Maybe your
MIL wrote it - it sure sounds like it! I would just ignore that
first response; you have every right to feel hurt by only receiving
a cheap frame when your IL's got your husband lots of expensive things.
There really is a hurtful message there, and most people I know would
feel hurt by that (unless, of course, they like to behave hatefully
themselves ... maybe like the first poster?)
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
After reading the nasty response above, I felt I had
to respond. Although I'm sure that we DIL's are grateful for
whatever gifts we get, and I understand that my DH might get more
gifts than I at his parent's house, the big "but" here is
that a tacky picture frame is just a slap in the face.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
Who said anyone has to get anything for Xmas?
Just stop giving presents. As the person above said, don't be
so materialistic.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
I have to agree with the first respondent. Understandably,
your MIL spent a considerable amount (probably more than necessary)
on her son, and not as much on you. However, it is her son.
If you had not spent one Christmas with them in seven years, I can
understand her not overdoing any gifts.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
No!!!!!! Don't get over it. The difference
in presents was a slap in the face and meant to be a slap.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
That previous response was very uncalled for.
This woman has a right to be upset - it is not the gift that upset
her, but the idea that her MIL valued her presence there so little
- the gift was a token item, not something her MIL knew she would
like or could afford. Money wasn't the issue - it was the slight
her MIL gave her. Obviously money wasn't an issue with this
family (see the DH's expensive gifts). I know what its like
to spend many hours and too much money searching for a gift for an
ungrateful BIL to try and make amends for a bad relationship, only
to find that he spent about 10 minutes and $10 on your gift!
This page is about support for people with awful Mil's An abrupt,
sharp response like the one just posted is inappropriate - keep it
to yourself.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 28-DEC-00
Was that your MIL who wrote that first response?
Your feelings are understandable -- there's no way your MIL will endear
herself to you if she gives SO much nicer presents to your DH than
to you. I think I'd feel the same way. Don't let anyone
shame you for venting that legitimate gripe!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 29-DEC-00
Forget that first response. They are either a
MIL, or they have a good MIL. My MIL is the same way, so I know
how you feel.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 29-DEC-00
If a MIL wanted to be fair and equitable, she coulda
signed the gift tag to be for both spouses. It's not like DH
is going to be the only person using that new TV By making sure
it only goes to their biological child, that is being spiteful.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 29-DEC-00
That is terrible, and to the first person who responded,
that is wrong. I am not married yet, and my parents buy just
as much for my fiancé as they do for the rest of their kids.
His parents do the same. Sure, he might get slightly more from
his parents, but we both get great things from them. Just a
picture frame is a slap in face.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 29-DEC-00
(I think it was probably that first respondent -- posing
as three separate people -- who wrote all three of the critical, sharp
responses -- one person, your MIL in disguise! She should get
on her own website to conspire with other hateful Mils about new passive-aggressive
ways to hurt their DILs' feelings, instead of this one.)
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 29-DEC-00
Personally, I think it was a slam by her MIL.
You should always give your Daughter-IL/Son-IL equal gifts that you
give to your children. That's just proper etiquette. She's
not materialistic for feeling hurt that her MIL shows extreme preferential
treatment to her husband over her! Give me a break! I'd
be hurt by that too. The first poster is either a MIL or someone
who is just venting their anger and aggression on the internet.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 30-DEC-00
Horrible! Horrible! Horrible! When
something like that happens, though, they want you to react, so the
best thing to do is smile and say, "Oh great! I can't wait
until hubby and I hook up this new TV so that we can watch it together.
Thanks!" Then, snub her butt when her birthday comes around
... in fact, wrap up the frame she gave you and give it back to her.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 1-JAN-01
I love the response of wrapping and returning the picture
frame as a later gift to the MIL! Though I can't help but feel
that if you did, it would only make matters worse. My present
MIL is an angel, though we do occasionally have our "miscommunications."
My ex-MIL is a demon sent from hell! I can definitely relate
to this story based on my experiences w/ the ex-MIL. I would
consider sending a kindly worded thank you note to your MIL, letting
her know how very much your husband and you both enjoy the television
she gave to the both of you for Christmas ... be sure to show the
card to your husband, and maybe even have him sign his name, too.
Never put yourself on her level, and never, ever allow her the opportunity
to play you against your husband or your husband against you.
Communicate w/ your husband always and, especially if he takes offense
to anything negative said about his mother, find someone other than
DH to vent to in regards to the MIL. (No need to add fuel to
the fire your MIL is trying to maintain.) I wish you luck and
prayers.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 2-JAN-01
Think the #1 cardinal sin of parents is to treat their
children's spouses so cruelly when it comes to gift giving, such as
ignoring the spouse's birthday if they recognize their child's birthday.
Or giving an obviously crappy present.
Guess MIL didn't feel compelled to give the DIL a present of substance
because "she's not my (blood/family)." It shows the
parents to be undiplomatic and selfish, because they can't see themselves
sharing beyond their flesh and blood.
A footnote: If you ever have children, and your IL's continue
this practice, the children will notice. DH better be prepared
to explain why Daddy gets nice things from Grandma/Grandpa, but Mommy
gets crap. Not a nice way of demonstrating how to treat people.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 3-JAN-01
My MIL also treats me and DH differently when it comes
to gift giving. I usually get dollar store crap and a gift certificate
half the value of DH. However, whatever the gift, I happily
accept it, because I enjoy pretending the gift is her, and smash it
up before throwing it in the trash - makes me feel much better.
For example, she got DD a doll from Mexico. One day when she
particularly annoyed me, I ripped the doll's head off, stamped on
it, and put it in the trash. Isn't that awful? Not the
behavior of a refined professional woman, but, hell, they drive us
to it!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 9-JAN-01
You know what? Don't worry about it. Chalk
it up to her being a complete social retard. Next year, don't
get HER anything but a pair of socks, or something cheap. Or,
do like I do, don't even participate in the gift buying for in-laws.
I let my H do it all this year. I didn't even wrap them.
I can't buy gifts for people who try to make the rest of the year
a living hell for me. Forget it. I'd rather stick needles
in my eye than buy them gifts. GAG!!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 23-FEB-01
The first response was probably from a MIL. Ignore
her. You do have the right to feel insulted by your gift.
It's understandable that you hardly go to their house for Christmas.
Well, at least this gives you a reason not to visit them for the holidays
again.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 19-MAR-01
Ignore the negative responses. It has to be a
MIL in hiding. I didn't mind the petty, unequal gifts for the
first 20 years. I thought it was like that because I wasn't
blood. The other DIL was treated the same way. Then, my
MIL's daughter (Little Miss perfect, who gets everything) got married.
The new Son-In-Law was given the same gifts that the sons and daughter
got. I guess I know where us DILs stand in this family.
There are pictures all over the house of MIL, FIL and her new SIL
and not one of the two DIL's. I have even watched hurt Grandchildren
treated differently and have been madder then sh$t. I don't
let it make me mad anymore. It showed me that I can just stop
trying. MIL and SIL are two peas in a pod. I am hoping
the pod rots soon. Hang in there.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 19-MAR-01
I feel your pain. Next Christmas, you have to
give her an even better present. Have a close up picture of
yourself taken. Insert it into the picture frame (or an even
uglier one) and give it back to her. When she opens it, say
something like, "Let's find a place for this". Then,
put it on the table next to where she usually sits. I would
love to see her face. Hang in there.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 20-MAR-01
Those nasty responses saying that you're "materialistic"
are just plain wrong. You have a right to your feelings.
Anyone who would invalidate them in such a vicious way obviously has
very little understanding of human problems. I say ignore those
responses, and your MIL's pettiness. Anyone who thinks so little
of your feelings is not worth your time.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 1-APR-01
First of all, who let the MIL dogs out? For the
first response: "Get out of this site, you MIL dog!!!"
Second, if you spend another Christmas with the out-law dog, then
you have no one to blame but yourself. Third, let your DH shop
for your outlaws, and stop wasting your time. You have better
things to do. It's just not worth it. Focus on your own
family. Believe me, they are not focusing on you. Obviously.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 2-APR-01
To the three negative responders (I know you're one
person). You're not fooling anybody! Get back on your
broomstick and fly away!! This is a site for DILs to vent, and
rightfully so. So, get your own site to discuss your evil ways
with the rest of the witches in your convention. Don't try to
come on this site to give your opinion like you're a DIL. Obviously
you're not. If you were, you would have never said anything
so insensitive (which proves you're an MIL)! "Wish you
had a new MIL", ignore the insensitive remark from the MIL.
Your MIL's gift was a slap in the face. It's no wonder you waited
seven years before you spent Xmas with them. They obviously
couldn't care less about your feelings or they would have never done
that. They could have waited until your DH's birthday to lavish
him with gifts. They knew exactly what they were doing!
TYPICAL!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 3-APR-01
Hey, we must have the same MIL!! My DH picked
up something for his mom that she wanted for Christmas one year, but
it was the wrong brand (and you know when you want something particular
that is what you want) I not only got out in the holiday traffic
(I live in a big city), with a toddler, in the cold and took the gift
back to the store, but I had to go to another store to get the one
she wanted. I also went out shopping at other stores and spent
my time and $100 shopping for this woman. Plus, her birthday
was 2 weeks prior to this and I ordered some things out of a catalog
that I knew she wanted (a good $100 worth of stuff). This woman
has always ridiculed me, but for the sake of my marriage, I kept my
mouth shut and ignored her for 6 years. For Christmas she spent
a good $200 on her son and grandson EACH and bought one thing for
me that was probably $50 and told the wrong person (not knowing they
would tell me) that she went out of her budget on me that year!
I had to sit and watch my DH and son (Xmas is more for the kids) open
about 10-15 gifts for a good hour or more! That was the last
draw for me! I told my DH that from then on, he is doing the
shopping for his family. This past Christmas, SHE got NOTHING!
I did the holiday shopping for everyone except her. My DH never
got anything for her. He didn't want to go to see her if I wouldn't
go. She didn't spend Xmas with us, but again she bought him
and my son all sorts of things and sent me a $20 gift certificate
to a store. So, what comes around goes around. Her attitude
with me caught up with her and she lost! I do wish I had a new
MIL too! It's sad that MILs act the way they do because sometimes,
in the end, they are the LOSERS!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 5-MAY-01
I agree that the point of it was obviously meant to
be hurtful - who cares about what the gift is, etc. It is the
point that MIL is saying here, "You go son - you are worth all
this, and DIL here is a cheesy frame." My MIL gives equally
ridiculous and cheap gifts to my DH, so it really doesn't bother me
- we usually laugh about them together.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 7-MAY-01
I am the poster of the first response that everybody
seems so upset about. First of all, let me tell you that I am
not a mother-in-law. I am not even a woman. If you think
I'm some sort of mama's boy, nothing could be further from the truth.
For me, Christmas isn't about gifts. I grew up never receiving
much of anything on Christmas or my birthdays, but that never stopped
me from enjoying myself. No matter how small, inexpensive or
just plain ugly a gift I have ever gotten, I can say I've never received
a gift I didn't like. It's the gesture that counts for me.
I just thought that the poster of this story got so caught up in the
gift part of Christmas. I understand that she feels left out,
but there is more to life than what type of gift you receive.
Give gifts only if you're sincere about it, if not, don't even bother,
and don't try to cover up that insincerity by buying an expensive
gift. As for the respondent who said that I was the writer of
all three of the critical responses, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but I'm not the only one who shares this view. I only wrote
the first one.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 8-MAY-01
To the ladies who told you to grow up - you must be
bitter. My MIL pulled this crap time and time again, and it
is so her.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 8-MAY-01
In response to the first (and now, last) respondent.
I had to smile, because I'm the person who thought all three responses
were from the same person. I totally agree with you about gift-giving
and sincerity - but I don't think gift giving should ever be used
as a passive-aggressive, punishing thing. It seemed so impolite
of the MIL to give gifts of such obviously different value to the
two of them. Yet, you know, I can imagine my own mother giving
ME big gifts, and giving my DH lesser ones, not even thinking about
it (and she LOVES my DH - they get along great!). I think it's
POSSIBLE that a MIL could do this without trying to be mean, even
if she adores her DIL, just because of an inclination to "take
care" of one's biological child from old habit. I guess
what I really think is, if you're a DIL and generally feel your MIL
does like/love you, but are a bit hurt by her giving her biological
son more expensive gifts, don't assume from that that she hates you.
It's possible that she just hasn't thought about it. I TOTALLY
agree about not giving insincere gifts. I mean, don't give these
huge, unloving gifts to make someone feel indebted to you or to feel
superior to them or something. I think that's terrible.
I ONLY want my gifts to be given to me from the heart, or else don't
bother! I try to do the same - to kind of send a blessing along
with every gift I give. I'm not perfect, and sometimes - once
in a while - I do give something out of strain and obligation.
But I try not to make it a habit! Gift giving is a joy if it
comes from the heart, and so is the receiving of such gifts.
That's what I feel, anyway.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 8-MAY-01
Get a picture of her where she looks bad or mean,
enlarge it, and put it on the frame! Then hang it on the john,
or someplace where she will get the message!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 8-MAY-01
To the "poster of the first response that everybody
seems so upset about" -- You STILL don't get it! It wasn't
the gift itself she was upset about getting, it was that her husband
was given so much more, which made her feel insignificant in his family.
Can't you see that her MIL deliberately gave her a cheap gift to make
her feel excluded?? I know it's the thought that counts, but
I think it's fairly obvious that her MIL thinks highly of her son,
but lowly of her DIL. If her MIL gave each of them gifts of
similar value, then that would be a different ball game, but she didn't.
I'm sorry you grew up not receiving much of anything on Christmas
or on birthdays, but that does not give you the right to call people
whom you don't even know - "materialistic". Your first
response was rude and uncalled for. This is a DIL support board. Your
responses were not very supportive at all.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 9-MAY-01
I agree with the last respondent. This is a
support board, and I don't think the first post was in the least bit
caring.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 10-MAY-01
To the first respondent. The reason why your
response got such a negative reaction was because it was totally unempathetic
and RUDE! Not only was it unsupportive (on a website meant to
support), but it shows some deep seated hostility that probably came
from never getting gifts your whole life. Maybe it bothers you
a lot more than you're willing to admit. You don't have to agree
with anyone on this site, but at the very least try to understand
where the poster is coming from so that your response shows you at
least put some thought into it.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 11-MAY-01
Can you stand one more response to this post?
The man who criticized the original poster for being too materialistic
said, "It's the gesture that counts for me." It was
obvious to a lot of people that MIL was indeed making a gesture -
with her middle finger!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 3-JUN-01
Give her a certificate saying that a donation was
made in her name to (fill in the name) charity. She'll hate
it, but she can't complain, and she even has to thank you for it.
Lovely, lovely, lovely. Plus, you get the satisfaction of knowing
that the end result is being enjoyed by someone. If you really
want to twist the knife, choose charities that she'll hate.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 3-JUN-01
I feel sorry for you. I had a great relationship
with my MIL for 11 years, and now at number 13, I see her for who
she truly is. And she is not a nice person. I have no
use for her, and I do not encourage the children to see her.
My husband says just to ignore her, and I do. He keeps his relationship
with her because he wants to see his dad, who should grow a spine
and put her in her place. As for the frame, I used to get OK
presents for holidays and birthdays, but since the blow up and me
not putting up with her crap, there has been nothing at all.
Of course, the hubby and kids get theirs, but nothing for me.
In turn they, the ILs, get nothing at all either, because I am the
one who buys the cards and presents, not their son. I would
have been really tempted to get an automatic camera and take a picture
of her DS and myself having sex on the beautiful new TV they got him.
I would have framed it and given it to her for Mother's Day with a
card that said, "We sure enjoy the new TV!!!" LOL
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 7-JUN-01
What a slap in the face! I am constantly amazed
at all the ways MILs find to demean us. My own MIL just came
up with a doozy. DH and I decided a while ago that we would
not have children. Now, you must understand that every one of
DH's brothers and sisters are married and have children. We
are the only holdouts. Our 8th wedding anniversary was last
night. And can you guess what my dear MIL sent us? A "happy
anniversary" card with photos of all her grandkids enclosed.
She barely even signed the card itself. Subtle, huh? NOT!!!
So, stay strong and just ignore your MIL. Karma will swing around
eventually and bite her in the backside.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 03-JUL-01
The first responder answered in that manner because
that is something that they would do. So that just says that
they are just as inconsiderate as the person who brought the gift.
Like a previous poster said, "She could have put both of your
names on the TV."
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 24-JUL-01
I know what you mean about the gift. You're
upset about the snub, not the gift. I have a very nice SIL that
I once gave a crystal frame to (with a picture of us hugging inside).
It ain't the gift, it's how it's given. I think if it was a
gorgeous frame with a picture of MIL giving her a big hug in it, it
would have been a lot better. It's the snub she's upset about,
that's obvious.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 15-AUG-01
The first post was right on the money. A cr@ppy
gift, so what? She loves her son more than you, again - so what?
Your whining is entertaining in a "Jerry Springer" sort
of way. Grow up. Become an adult. Little things
like this won't bother you anymore.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 19-AUG-01
What you need to do is get the ugliest, most unflattering
picture of your MIL blown up and put into the frame she gave you.
Be sure to mount the picture in a prominent, noticeable place in your
home.
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 24-AUG-01
To the person who said that everyone was "whining":
I'll bet you're one of those people who get the cheapest, cr@ppiest
gifts for your in-laws too. Do you expect people to believe
that YOU wouldn't be steamed if you spent money on a nice gift for
someone who gave you a cr@ppy, thoughtless gift in return? And
how nice of you to belittle the feelings of the DILs by calling their
annoyance at the MILs a "little thing". I just wonder
how much of these "little things" you could take without
"whining", as you call it. If you find this site too
whiny, here's an excellent suggestion for you: Leave!
RESPONSE: Wish I had a new mother-in-law
Posted: 24-AUG-01
To the August 15 respondent: WOW, what a "caring",
"kindhearted" response that was! Boy, you really are
an altruistic spirit, so concerned about helping others. NOT!
What was the point of your response? To be negative and hurtful?
Well, you succeeded. Pat yourself on the back. How proud
of yourself you must be. What VALUE you add to humanity?
Worst gift: Posted: 6-AUG-01
My MIL always buys a gift for my children and my DH.
After 10 years of marriage to her son, she rarely remembers mine.
When she does, it's usually late - sometime around a month later when
it's my DH's birthday. She gives me a book she has already read.
This book has already had time to collect dust, and it's some boring
celebrity's book about her children. That's if I'm lucky, by
the way. Most of the time she gets me nothing for my birthday.
And, for Christmas, the gifts have my name on them, but they're still
for my DH. One year for my birthday, she said, "Here!",
and gave me a little tiny shelf that already had a nail hole in it.
It was just sitting on top of some books, and it was filled with roach
poop. Yes, I said roach poop. The biggest gift she gives
me is a pest control bill each year. Every time she comes over,
she brings her dog, who pees on the floor. But she also brings
her roaches. MY DH has yet to say anything about it, and she
just keeps continually gets her way. Ahhh. D@mn, these
mama's boys.
Signed - One Foot Out The
Door
Worst gift: Posted: 26-JUL-01
This is a worst gift story of a different kind.
I noticed MIL was wearing a charm around her neck that said #1Nana.
I knew we hadn't bought it for her, so I checked with BIL's wife to
see if they had bought it. She said no. MIL had gone out
and bought a #1Nana charm for herself! We wouldn't have bought
it for her - one of her toddler grandchildren drowned in her swimming
pool because the gate was broken. And none of us now allow her
unsupervised visits with the grandchildren. She is the worst
Nana in the world as far as we are concerned. She also wears
"World's Best Nana" t-shirts every time she visits (which
she also bought for herself). What a whacko!
Signed - World's Best Nana?
RESPONSE: World's Best Nana?
Posted: 31-JUL-01
My FIL was living with his girlfriend when DH and I
had a child. FIL's girlfriend insisted that we start referring
to her as grandmom. Well, my DH and I were never going to allow
that. In fact, after my son was born, she started telling the
world that she and FIL were married, and she was hoping that FIL's
kids would start thinking of her as their mom. My real MIL died
in 1985. After my FIL died, the girlfriend started realizing
that my FIL's kids hate her. We will never allow our children
to call her grandmom. My son will never be left alone with that
B!tch. She will not respect our wishes and is constantly telling
me that I'm doing things wrong. Not on any one topic.
I'm just doing everything wrong. Oh yeah, how dare I insist
that she call before coming over. I will not let her into the
house when she comes over unannounced. She has no respect for
my personal space.
RESPONSE: World's Best Nana?
Posted: 31-JUL-01
I totally cracked up reading your story. I can't
believe the audacity of your MIL to think she is the world's best
grandma. Talk about a lot of nerve!!
RESPONSE: World's Best Nana?
Posted: 7-AUG-01
You should have a charm made that says #1 BA-nana-s.
Too bad there aren't any "Truth in Advertising" laws when
it comes to relatives.
Worst gift: Posted: 28-JUL-01
For Christmas two years ago, I got a well-used frying
pan. And last year, I got a pair of turquoise colored sweats
that were about four sizes too big for me. My MIL is a walking
skeleton. I am an excellent cook, and just a little overweight,
go figure. The squirrels now eat corn out of the tacky frying
pan, and the sweats were donated to a nursing home. She obviously
puts a lot of heart and thought in her gifts.
Signed - Can't Wait For
This Christmas
Worst gift: Posted: 26-JUL-01
Last Christmas I got some cheap perfume and a nail
polish dryer. And they were both from the dollar store!!
I know this because she left the price tags on them!! Now my
DH's brother's GIRLFRIEND (not wife) got an autographed CD of Gun's
N Roses that, she announced to everyone, cost $80.00 on Ebay!
Signed - GF Gets Autographed
CD
Worst gift: Posted: 24-JUL-01
It was Christmas, and my MIL was always looking for
that special gift. It so happened that under the tree was that
perfect gift she had been looking for. In her attic, she found
a perfect skeleton of what appeared to be a chipmunk, mouse, or whatever
else invades your home and shows up in the strangest places.
Well, what can I say? I didn't have one.
Signed - Shows Up In The
Strangest Places
RESPONSE: Shows Up In The Strangest Places
Posted: 2-AUG-01
Are you serious?? She really gave that to you??
My gosh, even my MIL - the histrionic narcissistic queen of the "Pity
me" people - has never pulled that one!!! What did you
do? What did DH do? My goodness, our MILs are fun, aren't
they??
Worst gift: Posted: 21-JUL-01
We have just returned from a vacation. My MIL
called to ask DH if we bought anything while we were away. He
said, "Yes, we bought lots of nice things as souvenirs."
She said that what she meant was: Did we buy something she could
give him the money for, and say it's my birthday present from her?"
Well, we didn't realize that we were supposed to be shopping for a
present for me, so we didn't keep tabs. But, we'll be shopping
this weekend for a few bits and pieces for one of my craft projects.
She can pay for them if she likes. The answer, "Well how
much is that going to cost then?" Actually about $20.
Jeez, I wish she wouldn't bother!!!
Signed - Here - Happy Birthday!
RESPONSE: Here - Happy Birthday!
Posted: 25-JUL-01
That is ridiculous! Tell DH to tell MIL that
you don't want anything. If she insists, he should just tell
her to send whatever she feels is the appropriate amount in a card.
It is just tacky that she wants to reimburse you for something you
already paid for, and call it your present.
Worst gift: Posted: 21-JUL-01
My MIL isn't quite as evil as my SIL, who repeatedly
buys me oversized bras and underwear for Christmas. This wouldn't
be so bad, except that we open gifts in front of the ENTIRE family.
My MIL is tolerable until SIL shows up, which triggers the Jekyl &
Hyde in her.
Signed - Most Unfavorite
DIL
RESPONSE: Most Unfavorite DIL
Posted: 25-JUL-01
Take the bra out and hang it over your chest while
laughing at it. Do this whilst you put the knickers on your
head and pretend to be a diver. Tell your SIL she's SUCH a joker,
and that by next year, you'll have enough big knickers to make a parachute.
Then, buy HER underwear in a size 0, and watch her hate to admit they're
too small. Whilst you say, "Gosh, I thought you were sooooo
tiny!" Heh Heh Heh!
RESPONSE: Most Unfavorite DIL
Posted: 25-JUL-01
How about responding, "Ooops! It looks like
you gave me MIL's gift by mistake! Here you go, MIL."
Or maybe a nice, "Ah, I knew you would pick out something tasteful
that shows your true spirit. Thank you! The women at the
shelter will really appreciate this." Smile beatifically
and expectantly look for the next person to open their present.
Worst gift: Posted: 8-JAN-01
Sounds as great as my SIL. Last year for Christmas
she gave both of us a gift to share, which was a tin can of candy
with all but 9 candies eaten. For our birthdays she always remembers
my husband and kids, but always seems to forget I'm in the picture.
signed - Always Seems To
Forget I'm In The Picture
RESPONSE: Always seems to forget I'm in the picture.
Posted: 10-JAN-01
I'm sorry - could the poster elaborate on that gift?
What was your reaction? What was on her face when you opened
it? Was it wrapped and presented? That's just too bizarre.
RESPONSE From Poster: Always seems to forget I'm in the
picture.
Posted: 14-JAN-01
The gift was given to us in a trash bag with all the
gifts from my mil. It was given to both my husband and I. When
we got home I let him open it and he was in disbelief. I WASN'T,
since it is pretty typical of her.
RESPONSE: Always seems to forget I'm in the picture.
Posted: 26-JUL-01
My mother bought an expensive box of chocolate candies
to give as a hostess gift, and had put them in the fridge to keep
them cool until the weekend (when she planned on giving them).
I was about 8 years old, and had no idea what that box of goodies
was for, but I knew it was in the fridge, and therefore fair game.
I ate about half of it between the Wednesday I'd found it and the
Saturday when she took it to the party. She never thought to
peek inside, and didn't know I'd eaten half of the chocolates until
the party hostess opened them with a smile and saw the box had already
been pilfered. LOL. Mom was SO MAD at me! She must
have been horrified. But at least that was unintentional (grin).
Worst gift: Posted: 23-JUL-01
My DH and I usually get checks from my IL's for our
birthdays and anniversaries, so I can't complain too much. However,
I have had some interesting Christmas gifts! One year I got
a housecoat from my MIL. It was definitely ugly, but I figured
it was the thought that counted. I needed something like that,
so I wore it until I could afford another one. When I told my
husband that I was donating the ugly housecoat to Goodwill but I felt
bad because I hadn't worn it too much, he said it was an old one of
his Mom's anyway, and he thought it was a bit creepy to see me in
it. That was a few years ago, no other gifts stand out until
last year. She gave me a sweater and a knee-length nightgown
with a big cartoon character decal on the front. The sweater
was a thick white cable-knit type. Even though it was two sizes
too big for me, it made me look like a huge white sausage. At
our next family dinner, in front of everyone, she asked me if the
sweater had fit me. I acted surprised and said it was fine.
The sad part was, she had told my husband it was from my favorite
clothing store, but I knew from the tag that it was from a nationwide
discount department store. He didn't believe that, until I took
it back there and returned it. As for the cartoon-character
nightgown, it was also way bigger than I needed. The embarrassing
part was that when I opened it on Christmas Day, she said she thought
I would like it because I could also wear it as a t-shirt (remember,
it was knee-length and had a gaudy decal on the front)! I guess
she wanted to get across the points that I'm overweight and have bad
taste at the same time. She does these kinds of passive-aggressive
things (which, of course, my husband doesn't notice), so I put him
in charge of buying gifts for the IL's. The one thing I feel
bad about is that they don't give us any cards for our birthdays or
for our anniversary. I would rather have a card and less money,
than what they give us. It seems more thoughtful than money,
and then you have the memories of whatever they write in it.
My parents give us cards for every holiday with nice messages from
them. I think that it is weird that my IL's display all the
cards they get for their birthdays, Christmas etc., but they never
give us a card for any of these occasions. Well, I guess my
stories are far from the worst on this site. But, while dealing
with my IL's over the years, it's the little things that start to
get to me.
Signed - It's The SPITEFUL
Thought That Really Counts
RESPONSE: It's The SPITEFUL Thought That Really Counts
Posted: 26-JUL-01
Don't feel too bad about your inappropriate gifts.
In my case, it's MY mother who gives them. She sees absolutely
nothing embarrassing about giving gifts from discount stores, or even
yard sales! In fact, she is PROUD of how little money she spends
on gifts. I honestly don't think my mom is trying to insult
me because she also buys things like that for herself. I just
thank her, and put them in the Salvation Army bin at the first chance
I get.
RESPONSE: It's The SPITEFUL Thought
That Really Counts
Posted: 26-JUL-01
I wouldn't mind getting checks. We get the cards
with the names scribbled in there, and we know it means nothing to
them. But the clothes she gives you are definitely an insult.
Ignore these people.
RESPONSE: It's The SPITEFUL Thought
That Really Counts
Posted: 26-JUL-01
I also got a HUGE cartoon character nightshirt for
Christmas! It looks like something a sixth grader would wear.
Since we did not see the ILs at Christmas, my MIL bought that nightshirt
(it had a Christmas theme on it to make it worse) AFTER Christmas
at one of those clearance sales. I know, because she actually
told me, and the tag was still on there with the 75% off sticker.
She also gave me some ugly underwear from a famous lingerie store
(trust me, it was ugly - they have some nice stuff, but she sought
out the ugly stuff), which I ended up returning for credit.
As for the nightshirt, I have no idea where she got it. When
I showed the gifts to DH, he didn't seem to think that there was anything
wrong with it. For Christmas, he got several turtlenecks and
men's briefs, which DH says, "don't fit well." This
is not the first time she has given me underwear as a gift.
She gives it to my SIL, and she even gave underwear to my MOM as a
gift! I don't know what my MIL's obsession is with underwear!!!
I also think she gave me a HUGE nightshirt to insinuate that I am
fat. And she always asks whether or not the underwear she got
me is "big" enough!
Worst gift: Posted: 23-JUL-01
My one-day-to-be MIL gave me towels for my birthday.
Not even good towels. $4 discount department store towels that
don't even attract water. Her birthday is several weeks before
mine. I got her a massage and facial pamper package at her local
beauty salon. I'm not saying that she had to spend much money,
but it could have been something for ME, and not for her son's bathroom.
*Sigh.*
Signed - Not In A Hurry
To Tie the Knot
RESPONSE: Not In A Hurry To Tie the Knot
Posted: 26-JUL-01
You know, in all these "cr@ppy MIL presents"
stories, I've never realized that the MIL is actually giving us the
best present of all - freedom from having to worry whether or not
they like the present we got THEM. After suffering through $5-10
gifts from MIL (while hubby gets $50 gifts only he can use), I'm spending
no more than $15 on her future gifts, and they're going to be whatever
I happen to pick up at the discount store. Heck, I might not
even go to the discount store! I might go to a 24 hour neighborhood
convenience store! Who knows? I could spin around in a
circle in the middle of the aisle with my eyes closed, and just POINT
to whatever her gift might be! No reason not to have fun at
Christmas. And I'm darn sure tired of spending $50 and a lot
of time and thought on something for her, when I can't stand her anyway.
Or, here's a novel idea. I COULD LET MY HUSBAND BUY HIS MOTHER
HER GIFT.
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